PART SEVEN Karenin's Smile
七、卡列宁的微笑
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The window looked out on a slope overgrown with the crooked bodies of apple trees. The woods cut off the view above the slope, and a crooked line of hills stretched into the distance. When, towards evening, a white moon made its way into the pale sky, Tereza would go and stand on the threshold. The sphere hanging in the not yet darkened sky seemed like a lamp they had forgotten to turn off in the morning, a lamp that had burned all day in the room of the dead.
窗子外是一个山坡，长满了枝干歪扭痉挛的苹果树。密密树林在山坡之上占据了一大块空间，山岭的曲线一直伸向远方。黄昏降临的时候，皎洁的月亮升入白晃晃的天空。特丽莎向外走去，久久地站在门槛上。一轮玉盘悬在尚未黑下来的夜空，看似人们早上忘记关掉了的一盏灯，一盏灵堂里的长明灯。
None of the crooked apple trees growing along the slope could ever leave the spot where it had put down its roots, just as neither Tereza nor Tomas could ever leave their village. They had sold their car, their television set, and their radio to buy a tiny cottage and garden from a farmer who was moving to town.
沿着山坡生长出来的弯弯苹果树，没有一棵离得了他们的扎根之地，正如无论是托马斯还是特丽莎都离不了他们的村庄。他们已经卖掉了小汽车、电视机、收音机，这样才从一位搬家进城的农民那里买来了一栋小小的房舍和花园。
Life in the country was the only escape open to them, because only in the country was there a constant deficit of people and a surplus of living accommodations. No one bothered to look into the political past of people willing to go off and work in the fields or woods; no one envied them.
对于他们来说，乡村生活是他们唯一的逃脱之地。只有在乡村，人员才会出现经常的紧缺，居住设施才会富余宽松。去地里或树林里干活，不会有人来找麻烦看你过去的政治表现，也没有人嫉妒你。
Tereza was happy to abandon the city, the drunken barflies molesting her, and the anonymous women leaving the smell of their groins in Tomas's hair. The police stopped pestering them, and the incident with the engineer so merged with the scene on Petrin Hill that she was hard put to tell which was a dream and which the truth. (Was the engineer in fact employed by the secret police? Perhaps he was, perhaps not. Men who use borrowed flats for rendezvous and never make love to the same woman twice are not so rare.)
特丽莎庆幸自己终于放弃了城市，甩掉了醺醺醉鬼对她的侵扰，还有在托马斯头发上留下隐名女人的下体气味。警察局不再来纠缠了。同工程师的那段插曲与佩特林山上一幕混为一体，她很难说清那是真实还是梦境。（事实上那工程师是秘密警察雇佣的吗？可能是，也可能不是。借一套房子用来幽会并且不再与同一个女人来往的男人，也并不少见。）
In any case, Tereza was happy and felt that she had at last reached her goal: she and Tomas were together and alone. Alone? Let me be more precise: living alone meant breaking with all their former friends and acquaintances, cutting their life in two like a ribbon; however, they felt perfectly at home in the company of the country people they worked with, and they sometimes exchanged visits with them.
不管怎样，特丽莎高兴地感到她终于达到了目的：她和托马斯单独生活在一起了。是单独？让我说得更准确一些：“单独”生活，意昧着与以前所有的朋友和熟人中断关系，把他们的生活一刀两断。然而，他们还是生活在人们的陪伴之下，与这里的乡下人工作在一起，完全感到温暖如家。他们经常互相串串门。
The day they met the chairman of the local collective farm at the spa that had Russian street names, Tereza discovered in herself a picture of country life originating in memories of books she had read or in her ancestors. It was a harmonious world; everyone came together in one big happy family with common interests and routines: church services on Sundays, a tavern where the men could get away from their womenfolk, and a hall in the tavern where a band played on Saturdays and the villagers danced.
他们那天在有俄国街名的矿泉区，碰到那位地方集体农庄主席。当时特丽莎在自己心中发现了一幅田园生活的图景。这幅图景来自她曾经读过而且至今记得的书本，或者来自她的先辈。这是一个和谐的世界，大家一起生活在一个幸福的大家庭里，有着共同的利益和共同的生活常规：星期天的教堂礼拜，男人们得以避开自己婆娘的小酒店，星期六在小酒店厅堂里的乐队演奏以及跳舞的村民。
Under Communism, however, village life no longer fit the age-old pattern. The church was in the neighboring village, and no one went there; the tavern had been turned into offices, so the men had nowhere to meet and drink beer, the young people nowhere to dance. Celebrating church holidays was forbidden, and no one cared about their secular replacements. The nearest cinema was in a town fifteen miles away. So, at the end of a day's work filled with boisterous shouting and relaxed chatter, they would all shut themselves up within their four walls and, surrounded by contemporary furniture emanating bad taste like a cold draft, stare at the refulgent television screen. They never paid one another visits besides dropping in on a neighbor for a word or two before supper. They all dreamed of moving into town. The country offered them nothing in the way of even a minimally interesting life.
然而，当局管治下的乡村生活已不再具有往昔的模样了。教堂在附近的村庄里，没有人到那里去；小酒店变成了办公室，男人们找不到地方聚会和喝啤酒；青年人也没有地方跳舞。教堂庆典假日已被禁止，没有人关心非宗教的种种取代性活动。最近的电影院也在十五英里外的小镇上。这样，一天吵吵嚷嚷嘻嘻哈哈地劳累下来，他们只能把自己关在四壁之内，被散发出袭人寒气般怪昧的现代家具所环绕，呆呆地看一阵闪来闪去的电视。他们除了晚饭前顺路到某个邻居家扯一两句闲话以外，从不到别人家去做客。他们都梦想着搬进城去。这样的农村生活对他们来说，哪怕微乎其微的一点趣味也没有。
Perhaps it was the fact that no one wished to settle there that caused the state to lose its power over the countryside. A farmer who no longer owns his own land and is merely a laborer tilling the soil forms no allegiance to either region or work; he has nothing to lose, nothing to fear for. As a result of such apathy, the countryside had maintained more than a modicum of autonomy and freedom. The chairman of the collective farm was not brought in from outside (as were all high-level managers in the city); he was elected by the villagers from among themselves.
没有人愿意在这里定居，也许正是这一事实使政府放松了对农村的控制。一个农民，不再拥有自己的土地，仅仅只是个耕地的劳动力，便无须再对什么家乡成工作尽心尽力。他没有什么可以失去，没有什么值得害怕。这种冷漠的结果，是农村保存了更多的自由和自治。集体农庄主席不是从外面派来的（象城里所有高层的经理那样），是村民们从他们自己当中推选出来的。
Because everyone wanted to leave, Tereza and Tomas were in an exceptional position: they had come voluntarily. If the other villagers took advantage of every opportunity to make day trips to the surrounding towns, Tereza and Tomas were content to remain where they were, which meant that before long they knew the villagers better than the villagers knew one another.
人人都想离开，于是特丽莎和托马斯就成了一种例外的情况：是自觉自愿来的。村民们都想争得机会，以便去镇上东游西荡混上一个白天，特丽莎和托马斯却情愿呆在乡下，这样的话，不用多久，他们对村民们的了解，比村民们的互相了解还要多。
The collective farm chairman became a truly close friend. He had a wife, four children, and a pig he raised like a dog. The pig's name was Mefisto, and he was the pride and main attraction of the village. He would answer his master's call and was always clean and pink; he paraded about on his hoofs like a heavy-thighed woman in high heels.
集体农庄主席成了他们真正的至交好友。他有一个老婆、四个孩于，一头喂得象狗一样的猪。猪的名字叫摩菲斯特，它是这个村庄的骄傲和主要兴趣焦点。它可以回答主人的召唤，总是很干净，有粉红色的皮肉，踏着四蹄大摇大摆，很象一个大腿粗壮的妇人踩在高跟鞋上。
When Karenin first saw Mefisto, he was very upset and circled him, sniffing, for a long time. But he soon made friends with him, even to the point of preferring him to the village dogs. Indeed, he had nothing but scorn for the dogs, because they were all chained to their doghouses and never stopped their silly, unmotivated barking. Karenin correctly assessed the value of being one of a kind, and I can state without compunction that he greatly appreciated his friendship with the pig.
卡列宁第一次看到摩菲斯特，十分惶惶不安，围着它嗅了好久。但他很快就与对方交上了朋友，友好之至，甚至爱它胜过爱村子里的狗类。确实，他对狗类除了蔑视外别无任何好感。这些狗总是被套在他们的狗舍里，老是傻头傻脑并且毫无目的地叫嚷不休。我平心而论，卡列宁极为欣赏自己与猪的友谊，正确地估计了自己同类的价值。
The chairman was glad to be able to help his former surgeon, though at the same time sad that he could do nothing more. Tomas became the driver of the pickup truck that took the farm workers out to the fields and hauled equipment.
主席很高兴帮助他以前的外科医生，尽管他同样处在发愁的时候，办不了更多的事。托马斯当上了小卡车司机，把农庄工人送到地里去，还拉点设备什么的。
The collective farm had four large cow sheds as well as a small stable of forty heifers. Tereza was charged with looking after them and taking them out to pasture twice a day. Because the closer, easily accessible meadows would eventually be mowed, she had to take her herd into the surrounding hills for grazing, gradually moving farther and farther out and, in the course of the year, covering all the pastureland round about. As in her small-town youth, she was never without a book, and the minute she reached the day's pasture she would open it and read.
集体农庄有四个大大的奶牛棚，还有一棚小母中，共四十头。特丽莎负责照管这些牛，每日两次把它们送到草场去。一些较近又较为容易进入的草场，都要被割得光秃秃的了，她只好超着中群到山地里去放牧，渐渐地越找越远，越跑越宽，一年下来，就把四周远远近近的牧场都跑了个遍。如同在她小镇的青春岁月里那样，她总是带着一本书，白日来到牧场上，便开始把它打开，读起来。
Karenin always kept her company. He learned to bark at the young cows when they got too frisky and tried to go off on their own; he did so with obvious zest. He was definitely the happiest of the three. Never before had his position as keeper of the clock been so respected. The country was no place for improvisation; the time in which Tereza and Tomas lived was growing closer to the regularity of his time.
卡列宁总是陪着她，见到小奶牛活泼得过分，或者试图摆脱人的控制，它就学会了猪搞叫，显然把这一切于得有滋有昧。他毫无疑义是他们三个中间最快活的一个。他前所未有地取得了时钟掌管者的地位，以至如此受到尊敬。乡村生活中无即兴可言，特丽莎和托马斯的衣食起居都越来越按部就班，接近他的时间表。
One day, after lunch (a time when they both had an hour to themselves), they took a walk with Karenin up the slope behind their cottage.
一天午饭后（这个时候他们都有一个小时的闲暇），他们带上卡列宁到屋后的小山坡上散步。
"I don't like the way he's running," said Tereza.
“我不喜欢他跑起来的样子。”特丽莎说。
Karenin was limping on a hind leg. Tomas bent down and carefully felt all along it. Near the hock he found a small bump.
卡列宁的一条后腿有点跛。托马斯弯腰细心查看了一番，发现在跗关节附近有一处小小的伤口。
The next day he sat him in the front seat of the pickup and drove, during his rounds, to the neighboring village, where the local veterinarian lived. A week later, he paid him another visit. He came home with the news that Karenin had cancer.
第二天，他把卡列宁置于卡车驾驶座前，顺路带他去相邻的一个村庄，找一位本地的兽医。一个星期后，他又去看了一次兽医，回家时来了一个消息：卡列宁得了癌症。
Within three days, Tomas himself, with the vet in attendance, had operated on him. When Tomas brought him home, Karenin had not quite come out of the anesthesia. He lay on the rug next to their bed with his eyes open, whimpering, his thigh shaved bare and the incision and six stitches painfully visible.
托马斯花了三天时间，加上兽医的帮忙，给他动了手术。托马斯带他国家时，他还没有完全解除麻醉。他睁着眼，呜咽着，躺在他们床边的小毯子上，剃得光光的一只大腿上，切口和缝合的六针令人心痛地明显可见。
At last he tried to stand up. He failed.
最后，他试图站起来。他失败了。
Tereza was terrified that he would never walk again.
特丽莎一阵恐慌，担心他再也不能走路。
"Don't worry," said Tomas. "He's still under the anesthetic."
“不要着急，”托马斯说，“他还在麻醉之中。”
She tried to pick him up, but he snapped at her. It was the first time he'd ever tried to bite Tereza!
她试着把他抱起来，但被他咬了一口。这是他第—次咬她。
"He doesn't know who you are," said Tomas. "He doesn't recognize you."
“他认不出你，”托马斯说，“他不知道你是淮。”
They lifted him onto their bed, where he quickly fell asleep, as did they.
他们把他抱到床上，没过多久，他和他们一样睡着了。
At three o'clock that morning, he suddenly woke them up, wagging his tail and climbing all over them, cuddling up to them, unable to have his fill.
凌晨三点钟，他突然把他们弄醒，播着尾巴爬到他们身上，一个劲地贴上来蹭着，怎么也不满足。
It was the first time he'd ever got them up, too! He had always waited until one of them woke up before he dared jump on them.
这也是他第一次把他们弄起来！往常他总是等着他们中间的一个醒来，然后才敢于往他们身上跳的。
But when he suddenly came to in the middle of the night, he could not control himself. Who can tell what distances he covered on his way back? Who knows what phantoms he battled? And now that he was at home with his dear ones, he felt compelled to share his overwhelming joy, a joy of return and rebirth.
现在还是深夜，他却无法控制自己地突然来了。谁能说出他在康复的路途上走了多远？谁知道他正在同什么幽灵搏斗？他正在家里，同他亲爱的朋友在一起，他似乎正强迫他们来分享一种极度的欢欣，一种回归和再生的欢欣。
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The very beginning of Genesis tells us that God created man in order to give him dominion over fish and fowl and all creatures. Of course, Genesis was written by a man, not a horse. There is no certainty that God actually did grant man dominion over other creatures. What seems more likely, in fact, is that man invented God to sanctify the dominion that he had usurped for himself over the cow and the horse. Yes, the right to kill a deer or a cow is the only thing all of mankind can agree upon, even during the bloodiest of wars.
《创世纪》一开始就告诉我们，上帝创造了人，是为了让人去统治鱼、禽和其他一切上帝的造物。当然，《创世纪》是人写的，不是马写的。上帝是否真的赐人以统辖万物的威权，并不是确定无疑的。事实上，倒有点象这么回事，是人发明了上帝，神化了人侵夺来的威权，用来统治牛和马。是的，即使在血流成河的战争中，宰杀一匹鹿和一头牛的权利也是全人类都能赞同的。
The reason we take that right for granted is that we stand at the top of the hierarchy. But let a third party enter the game—a visitor from another planet, for example, someone to whom God says, Thou shalt have dominion over creatures of all other stars —and all at once taking Genesis for granted becomes problematical. Perhaps a man hitched to the cart of a Martian or roasted on the spit by inhabitants of the Milky Way will recall the veal cutlet he used to slice on his dinner plate and apologize (belatedly!) to the cow.
我们受赐于这种权利的原因，是我们站在等级的最高一层。但是如果让第三者进入这场竞争——比方说，一个来自外星的访问者，假如上帝对这个什么说：“子为众星万物之主宰”——此刻，《创世纪》的赐予就成为了问题。也许，一个被火星人驾驭着拉套引车的人，一个被银河系居民炙烤在铁架上的人，将会回忆起他曾经切入餐盘的小牛肉片，并且对牛（太迟了！）有所内疚和忏悔。
Walking along with her heifers, driving them in front of her, Tereza was constantly obliged to use discipline, because young cows are frisky and like to run off into the fields. Karenin kept her company. He had been going along daily to the pasture with her for two years. He always enjoyed being strict with the heifers, barking at them, asserting his authority. (His God had given him dominion over cows, and he was proud of it.) Today, however, he was having great trouble making his way, and hobbled along on three legs; the fourth had a wound on it, and the wound was festering. Tereza kept bending down and stroking his back. Two weeks after the operation, it became clear that the cancer had continued to spread and that Karenin would fare worse and worse.
特丽莎伴着牛群行走，赶着它们，为职责所迫而对它们给以约束，因为小牛们活蹦乱跳，爱往地里跑。卡列宁总是陪着她，天天如此随她去草场已有两年了。他总是乐于对牛群的严厉，冲着它们吼叫，维护自己的权威（他的上帝给了他统治牛类的威权，他为此而骄傲）。然而今天，他实在困难重重，—靠三条腿一跛一跛，第四条腿上还带着正在化脓的伤口。特丽莎总是弯下腰去抚摸他的背脊。很清楚，动手术两个星期之后，癌症还在继续扩散，卡列宁将每况愈下。
Along the way, they met a neighbor who was hurrying off to a cow shed in her rubber boots. The woman stopped long enough to ask, "What's wrong with the dog? It seems to be limping."
路上，他们碰到一位邻居，那女人脚踏套鞋急着去中棚，却停了够长的时间来问：“这狗怎么啦？看起来一跛一拐的。”
"He has cancer," said Tereza. "There's no hope." And the lump in her throat kept her from going on. The woman noticed Tereza's tears and nearly lost her temper: "Good heavens! Don't tell me you're going to bawl your head off over a dog!" She was not being vicious; she was a kind woman and merely wanted to comfort Tereza.
“他得了癌症，”特丽莎说，“没希望了。”她喉头梗塞，说不下去。那女人注意到了特丽莎的泪水，差点冒起火来：“天呐，不要跟我说了，你要为一条狗嚎掉一条命呵！”她并无恶意，是个好心的女人，只是想安慰特丽莎。
Tereza understood, and had spent enough time in the country to realize that if the local inhabitants loved every rabbit as she loved Karenin, they would be unable to kill any of them and they and their animals would soon starve to death.
特丽莎懂得的。在乡村这一段时光里，她已经意识到，如果乡亲们象她爱卡列宁一样也爱着每一只兔子，那么他们就不可能屠杀任何禽兽，他们和他们的禽兽就都要饿死。
Still, the woman's words struck her as less than friendly.
但是，眼下这位妇人的话还是使她一震，觉得不够友好。
"I understand," she answered without protest, but quickly turned her back and went her way. The love she bore her dog made her feel cut off, isolated. With a sad smile, she told herself that she needed to hide it more than she would an affair. People are indignant at the thought of someone loving a dog. But if the neighbor had discovered that Tereza had been unfaithful to Tomas, she would have given Tereza a playful pat on the back as a sign of secret solidarity.
“我懂的。”她顺从地回答，很快转过身子径自走了。她对狗所承担的爱，使她感到隔绝和凄凉。她掺然地笑笑，对自己说，她需要把这种爱藏得更深些不至于招人耳目。人们想到某人爱着一条狗的话，必然会纷纷义愤。但如果哪个邻居发现特丽莎对托马斯不忠，却会在她背上开玩笑地拍上一掌，作为暗中团结一致的信号。
Be that as it may, Tereza continued on her path, and, watching her heifers rub against one another, she thought what nice animals they were. Calm, guileless, and sometimes childishly animated, they looked like fat fifty-year-olds pretending they were fourteen. There was nothing more touching than cows at play.
象平常一样，特丽莎在山路上继续走着，看着她的牛互相挤擦，想到这是些多么好的小牲口。安详、诚实，有时候孩童般地活泼，看上去都象些故作稚态的老人。没有什么比牛的嬉戏更使人动心了。
Tereza took pleasure in their antics and could not help thinking (it is an idea that kept coming back to her during her two years in the country) that man is as much a parasite on the cow as the tapeworm is on man: We have sucked their udders like leeches. Man the cow parasite is probably how non-man defines man in his zoology books.
特丽莎在它们的一些滑稽动作中得到乐趣，不禁想到（两年的乡村生活中，这个观念一直在不断地向她闪回），一个人简直是牛身上的寄生虫，如同绦虫寄生在人身上：我们吸血鬼一样吸吮着牛乳。非人类的生物可能在他们的动物学书本里是这样来界定人的：“人，牛的寄生物。”
Now, we may treat this definition as a joke and dismiss it with a condescending laugh. But since Tereza took it seriously, she found herself in a precarious position: her ideas were dangerous and distanced her from the rest of mankind.
现在，我们可以把这个界定当作一个玩笑，用一种自觉优越的哈哈笑声把它打发。但是特丽莎是认真对待它的，因此发现自己处于某种不安全的地位：这种观点很危险，正在使她与人类的其他人拉开距离。
Even though Genesis says that God gave man dominion over all animals, we can also construe it to mean that He merely entrusted them to man's care. Man was not the planet's master, merely its administrator, and therefore eventually responsible for his administration.
尽管《创世纪》说上帝给予了人对所有动物的统治权，我们还是可以解释，这意昧着上帝仅仅是把它们交付给人来照看。人不是这颗星球上的主人，仅仅是主人的管理者，于是最终应该对管理负责。
Descartes took a decisive step forward: he made man maitre et proprietaire de la nature. And surely there is a deep connection between that step and the fact that he was also the one who point-blank denied animals a soul.
笛卡儿向前迈出了决定性的一步：他认为人是“mat—treetproprietairedelanature（自然的主人和所有者）”。毫无疑义，他的这一步与他直截了当地否认动物有灵魂，有着深深的联系。
Man is master and proprietor, says Descartes, whereas the beast is merely an automaton, an animated machine, a machina animata. When an animal laments, it is not a lament; it is merely the rasp of a poorly functioning mechanism. When a wagon wheel grates, the wagon is not in pain; it simply needs oiling. Thus, we have no reason to grieve for a dog being carved up alive in the laboratory.
笛卡儿说，人是主人，人是所有者，因此野物仅仅是一种自动机，一种能活动的机器。一个动物感觉伤心，这不是伤心，只是一种不中用了的装置发出刺耳噪声。一辆马车的轮子咬咬嘎嘎作响，并不是什么痛，只是需要加油而己。所以，我们毫无理由为一条狗在实验室被活活剖开而悲伤。
While the heifers grazed, Tereza sat on a stump with Karenin at her side, his head resting in her lap.
牛群开始吃草了，特丽莎坐在一个树桩上，身边的卡列宁把脑袋搁在她的膝头上。
She recalled reading a two-line filler in the papers ten or so years ago about how all the dogs in a certain Russian city had been summarily shot. It was that inconspicuous and seemingly insignificant little article that had brought home to her for the first time the sheer horror of her country's oversized neighbor.
她回忆起约摸十年前在报上读过的一条补白新闻，仅仅两行宇，谈的是在俄国某个确切的城市，所有的狗怎样被统统射杀。这是一篇不显眼而且看来没什么意义的小文章，但正是它，使她深深感到了对祖国那个超级邻居的绝对恐怖。
That little article was a premonition of things to come. The first years following the Russian invasion could not yet be characterized as a reign of terror. Because practically no one in the entire nation agreed with the occupation regime, the Russians had to ferret out the few exceptions and push them into power. But where could they look? All faith in Communism and love for Russia was dead. So they sought people who wished to get back at life for something, people with revenge on the brain. Then they had to focus, cultivate, and maintain those people's aggressiveness, give them a temporary substitute to practice on.
这篇文章是后来一切事情的预兆。入侵后开始的几年，恐怖统治还不怎么典型。整个民族没有一个人在实际行动上赞同占领当局，占领者们不得不搜寻出少许例外，把他们推上台。但是他们能到哪里去找呢？对当局的忠诚和对超级邻居的热爱都死了。他们只能找那些为了什么事来报复生活的人，找那些脑子里总想报仇泄愤的人。然后，他们不得不注重、培养和保持这些人的侵略挑衅素质，给他们一些临时的代用品进行实践。
The substitute they lit upon was animals.
他们看中的代用品就是动物。
All at once the papers started coming out with cycles of features and organized letters-to-the-editor campaigns demanding, for example, the extermination of all pigeons within city limits. And the pigeons would be exterminated. But the major drive was directed against dogs. People were still disconsolate over the catastrophe of the occupation, but radio, television, and the press went on and on about dogs: how they soil our streets and parks, endanger our children's health, fulfill no useful function, yet must be fed. They whipped up such a psychotic fever that Tereza had been afraid that the crazed mob would do harm to Karenin. Only after a year did the accumulated malice (which until then had been vented, for the sake of training, on animals) find its true goal: people. People started being removed from their jobs, arrested, put on trial. At last the animals could breathe freely.
很快，报纸开始推出特写专栏，组织读者来信运动，比方说，要求在市区范围内消灭鸽子。鸽子眼看着将遭到灭绝。但最主要的运动矛头是指向狗。人们仍然在占领的大祸中惶恐不宁，电台、电视台以及报纸却大谈特谈其狗：它们怎样弄脏了我们的街道，怎样乱喊乱叫，怎样危及我们孩子们的身体健康，百弊无利，百害无益，而且还得绘它们东西吃。他们煽起的热潮如此丧心病狂，以至特丽莎一直害伯哪位疯狂的暴徒会来伤害卡列宁。仅仅一年以后，积累起来的怨很（怨恨一直在发泄，落到动物头上只是作为一种训练），找到了它的真正目标：人。人们开始从工作岗位上被赶走，被逮捕，被投入审判。动物终于可以自由呼吸了。
Tereza kept stroking Karenin's head, which was quietly resting in her lap, while something like the following ran through her mind: There's no particular merit in being nice to one's fellow man. She had to treat the other villagers decently, because otherwise she couldn't live there. Even with Tomas, she was obliged to behave lovingly because she needed him. We can never establish with certainty what part of our relations with others is the result of our emotions—love, antipathy, charity, or malice—and what part is predetermined by the constant power play among individuals.
卡列宁把头静静地搁在特丽莎的膝头上，她不停地抚摸着它，另一些想法又在脑子中闪现：对自己的同类好，并不是什么特殊的功绩。她不得不公平大方地对待其他村民，是因为不这样做她就不可能生活在那里。即使是对托马斯，她的爱举也是出于责任，因为她需要他。我们从来不能确定地指出，我病人际关系中的哪一部分是我们感情的结果——出自爱慕、厌恶、仁慈，或者怨恨——还有哪一部分是被各自生活中某种永恒的力量所预先决定。
True human goodness, in all its purity and freedom, can come to the fore only when its recipient has no power. Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply buried from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its mercy: animals. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it.
真正的人类美德，寓含在它所有的纯净和自由之中，只有在它的接受者毫无权力的时候它才展现出来。人类真正的道德测试，其基本的测试（它藏得深深的不易看见），包括了对那些受人支配的东西的态度，如动物。在这一方面，人类遭受了根本的溃裂，溃裂是如此具有根本性以至其他一切裂纹都根源于此。
One of the heifers had made friends with Tereza. The heifer would stop and stare at her with her big brown eyes. Tereza knew her. She called her Marketa. She would have been happy to give all her heifers names, but she was unable to. There were too many of them. Not so long before, forty years or so, all the cows in the village had names. (And if having a name is a sign of having a soul, I can say that they had souls despite Descartes.) But then the villages were turned into a large collective factory, and the cows began spending all their lives in the five square feet set aside for them in their cow sheds. From that time on, they have had no names and become mere machinae animatae. The world has proved Descartes correct.
有一头牛对特丽莎表示友好。小牛停下来，用棕色的大眼睛盯着她。特丽莎认出了这头中，一直叫它玛克塔。她总是乐于给所有的牛取名字，不过牛太多了，她做不到。不久以前，大约是四十年以前，村庄里所有的牛都是有名字的（如果有一个名字就意昧着有一颗灵魂的话，我可以说，这些中都有一颗憎恶笛卡儿的灵魂）。但是后来，各个村庄都变成了大集中的工厂。牛只能在牛栏里五码见方的一块小地方毕其终身。从那以后，它们就没有名字了，成为了machinae animate（能活动的机器）。世界证明了笛卡儿是正确的。
Tereza keeps appearing before my eyes. I see her sitting on the stump petting Karenin's head and ruminating on mankind's debacles. Another image also comes to mind: Nietzsche leaving his hotel in Turin. Seeing a horse and a coachman beating it with a whip, Nietzsche went up to the horse and, before the coachman's very eyes, put his arms around the horse's neck and burst into tears.
特丽莎总是出现在我的眼前。我看见她坐在树枝上，抚摸着卡列宁的头，反复思索着人类的溃裂。我脑海中又出现了另一幅图景：尼采离开他在杜林的旅馆，看见一个车夫正在鞭打一匹马。尼采跑上前去，当着车夫的面，一把抱住了马头放声大哭起来。
That took place in 1889, when Nietzsche, too, had removed himself from the world of people. In other words, it was at the time when his mental illness had just erupted. But for that very reason I feel his gesture has broad implications: Nietzsche was trying to apologize to the horse for Descartes.
这件事发生在1889年，当时尼采也正在使自己离开人的世界。换一句话说，他的精神病就是在那时爆发了。但是正基于这个原因，我觉得他这一动作的广阔内涵是：尼采正努力替笛卡儿向这匹马道歉。
His lunacy (that is, his final break with mankind) began at the very moment he burst into tears over the horse.
他的精神失常（这是他最终与人类的快别）就是在他抱着马头放声痛哭的一瞬间开始的。
And that is the Nietzsche I love, just as I love Tereza with the mortally ill dog resting his head in her lap. I see them one next to the other: both stepping down from the road along which mankind, the master and proprietor of nature, marches onward.
这就是我所热爱的尼采，正如我所热爱的特丽莎——一条垂危病狗把头正搁在她的膝盖上。我看见他们肩并着肩，一齐离开了大道向下走去。那条大道上正前进着人类，“自然的主人和所有者”。
3
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Karenin gave birth to two rolls and a bee. He stared, amazed, at his own progeny. The rolls were utterly serene, but the bee staggered about as if drugged, then flew up and away.
卡列宁生出了两个面包圈和一只蜜蜂，对自己的后裔目不转睛，惊讶不已。两个面包圈当然绝对安详，只有蜜蜂摇摇晃晃转着圈，好象中了毒，过了一会儿，它升起来，飞走了。
Or so it happened in Tereza's dream. She told it to Tomas the minute he woke up, and they both found a certain consolation in it. It transformed Karenin's illness into a pregnancy and the drama of giving birth into something both laughable and touching: two rolls and a bee.
这事发生在特丽莎的梦里。等托马斯醒来，她告诉了他。两人都从这个梦里找到了确切的安慰。这个梦把卡列宁的疾病变成了孕生，生产的一幕和生下来的东西又可笑又动人：两个面包圈和一只蜜蜂。
She again fell prey to illogical hopes. She got out of bed and put on her clothes. Here, too, her day began with a trip to the shop for milk, bread, rolls. But when she called Karenin for his walk that morning, he barely raised his head. It was the first time that he had refused to take part in the ritual he himself had forced upon them.
她再次被一些不合理辑的希望所纠缠。她下了床，穿上衣。随着外出买牛奶，面包、面包圈等等，这里的一天又开始了。她叫上卡列宁，发现对方除了抬头以外没有其他反应。这是他第一次拒绝参加自己努力建立起来的常规仪式。
She went off without him. Where's Karenin? asked the woman behind the counter, who had Karenin's roll ready as usual. Tereza carried it home herself in her bag, She pulled it out and showed it to him while still in the doorway. She wanted him to come and fetch it. But he just lay there motionless.
她撇下他独自去了。“卡列宁呢？”柜台里的女人已经象平常那样，准备好了卡列宁的面包圈。特丽莎将其放入袋子带回家，取出来递给仍然躺在门道里的他，希望他能过来取定。但他只是躺在那里，一动不动。
Tomas saw how unhappy Tereza was. He put the roll in his mouth and dropped down on all fours opposite Karenin. Then he slowly crawled up to him.
托马斯看出特丽莎心里多么沉重。他用自己的嘴叼住面包圈，面对着卡列宁四肢落地，慢慢地爬过去，
Karenin followed him with his eyes, which seemed to show a glimmer of interest, but he did not pick himself up. Tomas brought his face right up to his muzzle. Without moving his body, the dog took the end of the roll sticking out of Tomas's mouth into his own. Then Tomas let go of his end so that Karenin could eat it all.
卡列宁的眼睛随着他转，似乎透出了一丝兴趣的微光，但仍然没有振作起来。托马斯把脸凑到他的鼻子跟前，他身子还是没有动，但张嘴咬住了面包圈的那一端，想把它从托马斯口里拖出去。托马斯这才松了自己的这一端，好让卡列宁能够完全吃掉它。
Still on all fours, Tomas retreated a little, arched his back, and started yelping, making believe he wanted to fight over the roll. After a short while, the dog responded with some yelps of his own. At last! What they were hoping for! Karenin feels like playing! Karenin hasn't lost the will to live!
还是四肢落地，还是弓若背脊，托马斯退了一点点，开始狺狺叫，让对方以为自己要争夺面包圈奋力一战了。一会儿，狗也狺狺叫唤作出反应！这正是他们所希望的！卡列宁还爱玩耍！卡列宁还没有失去生存的愿望！
Those yelps were Karenin's smile, and they wanted it to last as long as possible. So Tomas crawled back to him and tore off the end of the roll sticking out of Karenin's mouth. Their faces were so close that Tomas could smell the dog's breath, feel the long hairs on Karenin's muzzle tickling him. The dog gave out another yelp and his mouth twitched; now they each had half a roll between their teeth. Then Karenin made an old tactical error: he dropped his half in the hope of seizing the half in his master's mouth, forgetting, as always, that Tomas was not a dog and had hands. Without letting his half of the roll out of his mouth, Tomas picked up the other half from the floor.
这些狺狺叫声是卡列宁的微笑，他们希望它能够继续下去，尽可能长久。于是托马斯爬回他那里，咬着卡列宁嘴里露出来的面包圈另一端。他们的脸如此贴近，托马斯可以嗅到狗的呼吸气流，可以感到卡列宁鼻上的长毛拂得自己痒痒的。狗又叫出一声，嘴巴抽动着；现在他们各自咬住了半个面包圈。卡列宁犯了一个老的策略错误：丢下了他的那半个，希望捕获主人口中的那半个，总是忘记了托马斯有一双手，并不是一条狗。托马斯没有吐出自己口里的半个，顺手又捡起了地上的另一半。
Tomas! Tereza cried. You're not going to take his roll away from him, are you?
“托马斯！”特丽莎叫起来，“你要拿走他的面包圈吗？”
Tomas laid both halves on the floor in front of Karenin, who quickly gulped down the first and held the second in his mouth for an ostentatiously long time, flaunting his victory over the two of them.
托马斯把两个半块都放在卡列宁面前的地上，对方很快吞下了一个半块，叼着另一半得意洋洋了好一阵，炫耀他的双双获胜。
Standing there watching him, they thought once more that he was smiling and that as long as he kept smiling he had a motive to keep living despite his death sentence.
他们站在那里看着他，又一次觉得他是在微笑，他的微笑能持续多久，生活的主题就能持续多久，就能抗拒死神的判决。
The next day his condition actually appeared to have improved. They had lunch. It was the time of day when they normally took him out for a walk. His habit was to start running back and forth between them restlessly. On that day, however, Tereza picked up the leash and collar only to be stared at dully. They tried to look cheerful (for and about him) and pep him up a bit, and after a long wait he took pity on them, tottered over on his three legs, and let her put on the collar.
第二天，情况确实显得有了改善。他们吃了午饭，又到了带他出去作常规散步的时间。按照习惯，他要开始跑步了，在他们之间一会儿前一会儿后从不停歇。然而在这一天，特丽莎取来皮带和项圈，只被他兴趣索然地看了看。他们努力放出兴高采烈的眼光（为他高兴和为了使他高兴），给他鼓劲，让他振作一点。长久的等待之后，他仍然使他们遗憾，靠着三条腿踉跄了一下，任她套上项圈。
I know you hate the camera, Tereza, said Tomas, but take it along today, will you?
“特丽莎，我知道你讨厌照相机，”托马斯说，“但今天带上吧，你说呢？”
Tereza went and opened the cupboard to rummage for the long-abandoned, long-forgotten camera. One day we'll be glad to have the pictures, Tomas went on. Karenin has been an important part of our life.
特丽莎打开了橱柜，翻找那台抛弃了多年也遗忘了多年的照相机。“总有一天，我们会为这些照片高兴的，”托马斯继续说，“卡列宁曾经是我们生活中重要的一部分。”
"What do you mean, 'has been'?" said Tereza as if she had been bitten by a snake. The camera lay directly in front of her on the cupboard floor, but she would not bend to pick it up. "I won't take it along. I refuse to think about losing Karenin. And you refer to him in the past tense!"
“曾经？什么意思？”特丽莎好象被蛇咬了一口。照相机就搁在她面前的橱柜里，伸手可得，但她不愿意弯腰取出来，“我不愿意带上它。我不去想什么失去卡列宁。你呢，提起他的时候却用过去时态！”
"I'm sorry," said Tomas.
“对不起。”托马斯说。
"That's all right," said Tereza mildly. "I catch myself thinking about him in the past tense all the time. I keep having to push it out of my mind. That's why I won't take the camera."
“没有什么，”特丽莎温和些了，“我发现我每次想他都是用过去时态，我总是把它们从脑子里赶出去。我不愿意带照相机，就是这个原因。”
They walked along in silence. Silence was the only way of not thinking about Karenin in the past tense. They did not let him out of their sight; they were with him constantly, waiting for him to smile. But he did not smile; he merely walked with them, limping along on his three legs.
他们在沉寂中走着，沉寂是他们不用过去时态来思索卡列宁的唯一方式。他们不让他跑远了，久久地与他呆在一起，等待他的微笑。他没有笑，只是伴随他们走着，用他的三条腿一跛一跛。
"He's just doing it for us," said Tereza. "He didn't want to go for a walk. He's just doing it to make us happy."
“他这样做只是为了我们，”特丽莎说，“他并不想散步，只是为了让我们快乐。”
It was sad, what she said, yet without realizing it they were happy. They were happy not in spite of their sadness but thanks to it. They were holding hands and both had the same image in their eyes: a limping dog who represented ten years of their lives.
她的话中透出一种悲哀，她还没有意识到他们是快乐的。他们不是没有悲哀而快乐，恰好是因为悲哀而快乐。他们拉紧了手，眼睛中都闪动着一幅共同的景象：一条跛脚的狗代表了他们生命中的十年。
They walked a bit farther. Then, to their great disappointment, Karenin stopped and turned. They had to go back.
又走了一会儿。使他们极为沮丧的是，卡列宁停住了，往回走去。他们也只得转身。
Perhaps that day or perhaps the next Tereza walked in on Tomas reading a letter. Hearing the door open, he slipped it in among some other papers, but she saw him do it. On her way out of the room she also noticed him stuffing the letter into his pocket. But he forgot about the envelope. As soon as she was alone in the house, she studied it carefully. The address was written in an unfamiliar hand, but it was very neat and she guessed it to be a woman's.
大概就是在那一天或是第二天，特丽莎走进屋时正碰上托马斯在读一封信。听到门开了，他把信插入另外一沓纸当中。但她还是看见了这一动做，出门的当儿还注意到对方把那封信塞到了衣袋里。不过他忘记了信封。特丽莎看见他离家出门，立即把信封找来细细研究了一番。信封上地址的字迹眼生得很，但非常工整，她猜测这是出自女人之手。
When he came back later, she asked him nonchalantly whether the mail had come.
他回家来，她淡淡地问来了什么信没有。
"No," said Tomas, and filled Tereza with despair, a despair all the worse for her having grown unaccustomed to it. No, she did not believe he had a secret mistress in the village. That was all but impossible. She knew what he did with every spare minute. He must have kept up with a woman in Prague who meant so much to him that he thought of her even if she could no longer leave the smell of her groin in his hair. Tereza did not believe that Tomas meant to leave her for the woman, but the happiness of their two years in the country now seemed besmirched by lies.
“没有。”托马斯的话给特丽莎注入了一种绝望，比绝望更糟糕，因为她对此已经渐渐不习惯了。不，她不相信他在村子里有个秘密情人，要是那样就完了，但绝不可能。她清楚他在每分钟工余时间里做的一切。他一定是与布拉格的某个女人藕断丝连，那个女人与他来说意义如此重大，以至她不再在他头发上留下下体气昧以后，他居然还想着她。特丽莎不相信托马斯会为了那个女人而离开自己，但是他们两年乡村生活的幸福，看来被几句谎言玷污了。
An old thought came back to her: Her home was Karenin, not Tomas. Who would wind the clock of their days when he was gone?
一个旧的念头向她闪回来：她的归宿是卡列宁，不是托马斯。他走了之后谁来给他们的岁月之钟上发条呢？
Transported mentally into the future, a future without Karenin, Tereza felt abandoned.
思想推向未来，一个没有卡列宁的未来，特丽莎有一种被抛弃之感。
Karenin was lying in a corner whimpering. Tereza went out into the garden. She looked down at a patch of grass between two apple trees and imagined burying Karenin there. She dug her heel into the earth and traced a rectangle in the grass. That was where his grave would be.
卡列宁正躺在角落里呜呜哀鸣。特丽莎走入花园，目光落在两裸苹果树之间的一块草地上，想象在那里埋葬卡列宁。她把鞋跟扎入泥土，在草丛里划出一个长方形。这里将是他的墓穴。
"What are you doing?" Tomas asked, surprising her just as she had surprised him reading the letter a few hours earlier.
“你在干什么？”托马斯很惊奇，象几个小时前她看见他读信时的惊奇一样。
She gave no answer. He noticed her hands trembling for the first time in many months. He grabbed hold of them. She pulled away from him.
她没有答话。托马斯注意到她的手好几个月以来第一次颤抖了，他紧紧抓住它们。但她把手挣脱出去。
"Is that a grave for Karenin?"
“这是卡列宁的墓？”
She did not answer.
她没有回答。
Her silence grated on him. He exploded. "First you blame me for thinking of him in the past tense, and then what do you do? You go and make the funeral arrangements!
她的沉默激怒了他，终于使他爆发：“你先是责怪我，说我想他的时候用什么过去时态，而接下来你干了些什么？你到这里来安排后事！”
She turned her back on him."
她转身用背冲着他。
Tomas retreated into his room, slamming the door behind him.
托马斯退回自己的房间，狠狠地关上门。
Tereza went in and opened it. "Instead of thinking about yourself all the time, you might at least have some consideration for him," she said. "He was asleep until you woke him. Now he'll start whimpering again."
特丽莎走过去，推开门：“别成天想着你自己，至少也得为他考虑考虑吧，”她说，“你把他闹醒了，他现在又开始呜咽了。”
She knew she was being unfair (the dog was not asleep); she knew she was acting like the most vulgar of women, the kind that is out to cause pain and knows how.
她知道自己是不公正的（刚才狗并没有睡着），知道自己的所为就象最粗俗的泼妇，一心要刺病人并知道痛得如何。
Tomas tiptoed into the room where Karenin was lying, but she would not leave him alone with the dog. They both leaned over him, each from his own side. Not that there was a hint of reconciliation in the move. Quite the contrary. Each of them was alone. Tereza with her dog, Tomas with his.
托马斯蹑手蹑脚走进卡列宁躺着的房间，但她不愿让他单独与狗呆在一起。他们一人一边，双双把头向卡列宁凑过去。这一动作中没有什么和解的暗示，恰恰相反，他们各自都是单独的。特丽莎与她的狗共处，托马斯则同他的狗共处。
It is thus divided, each alone, that, sad to say, they remained with him until his last hour.
他们被分隔了，各自形影相吊。说来也惨，他们就—直这样呆着，度过了卡列宁最后的时光。
4
4
Why was the word "idyll" so important for Tereza?
为什么对特丽莎来说，“牧歌”这个词如此重要？
Raised as we are on the mythology of the Old Testament, we might say that an idyll is an image that has remained with us like a memory of Paradise: life in Paradise was not like following a straight line to the unknown; it was not an adventure. It moved in a circle among known objects. Its monotony bred happiness, not boredom.
我们都是被《旧约全书》的神话哺育，我们可以说，一首牧歌就是留在我们心中的一幅图景，象是对天堂的回忆：天堂里的生活，不象是一条指向未知的直线，不是一种冒险。它是在已知事物当中的循环运动，它的单调孕育着快乐而不是愁烦。
As long as people lived in the country, in nature, surrounded by domestic animals, in the bosom of regularly recurring seasons, they retained at least a glimmer of that paradisiac idyll. That is why Tereza, when she met the chairman of the collective farm at the spa, conjured up an image of the countryside (a countryside she had never lived in or known) that she found enchanting. It was her way of looking back, back to Paradise.
只要人们生活在乡村之中，大自然之中，被家禽家畜，被按部就班的春夏秋冬所怀抱，他们就至少保留了天堂牧歌的依稀微光。正因为如此特丽莎在矿系区遇到集体农庄主席时，便想象出一幅乡村的图景（她从未在乡村生活也从不知道乡村），为之迷恋。这是她回望的方式——回望天堂。
Adam, leaning over a well, did not yet realize that what he saw was himself. He would not have understood Tereza when she stood before the mirror as a young girl and tried to see her soul through her body. Adam was like Karenin. Tereza made a game of getting him to look at himself in the mirror, but he never recognized his image, gazed at it vacantly, with incredible indifference.
亚当，探身于井口，却没有意识到他看见的就是自己。他不会懂得特丽莎还是小姑娘的时候，何以要站在镜子面前试图透过自己的身体看到灵魂。亚当有点象卡列宁。特丽莎曾经玩了个游戏，让他面对镜子看到自己，但他根本不能辨认自己的形象，带着一种难以置信的无所谓，心不在焉地盯了一阵。
Comparing Adam and Karenin leads me to the thought that in Paradise man was not yet man. Or to be more precise, man had not yet been cast out on man's path. Now we are longtime outcasts, Hying through the emptiness of time in a straight line. Yet somewhere deep down a thin thread still ties us to that far-off misty Paradise, where Adam leans over a well and, unlike Narcissus, never even suspects that the pale yellow blotch appearing in it is he himself. The longing for Paradise is man's longing not to be man.
亚当与卡列宁的比较，把我引向了一种思索：在天堂里人还不是人。更准确地说，人还没有被投放到人的道路上来。现在，我们已经被抛掷出来很长的时间了，循一条直线飞过了时间的虚空。在什么深层的地方，还是有一根细细的绳子缚着我们，另一头连向身后远处云遮雾绕的天堂。亚当在那里探身看一口井，不象那喀索斯，他甚至从未疑心那井里出现的淡黄色一团就是他自己。对天堂的渴望，就是人不愿意成为人的渴望。
Whenever, as a child, she came across her mother's sanitary napkins soiled with menstrual blood, she felt disgusted, and hated her mother for lacking the shame to hide them. But Karenin, who was after all a female, had his periods, too. They came once every six months and lasted a fortnight. To keep him from soiling their flat, Tereza would put a wad of absorbent cotton between his legs and pull a pair of old panties over it, skillfully tying them to his body with a long ribbon. She would go on laughing at the outfit for the entire two weeks of each period.
她还是孩子的时候，无论何时走道母亲带有经血污痕的卫生纸，就感到作呕，恨母亲竟然寡廉鲜耻不知把它们藏起来。然而卡列宁毕竟也是雌性，也有他的生理周期。它每六个月来一次，一次长达两个星期。为了不让他弄脏房子，特丽莎在他的两腿之间塞上一迭脱胎棉，用一条旧短裤包佐，再用一条长丝线很巧妙地把它们紧紧系在身子上。她看着这个能对付每次整整两个星期的装备，笑了又笑。
Why is it that a dog's menstruation made her lighthearted and gay, while her own menstruation made her squeamish? The answer seems simple to me: dogs were never expelled from Paradise. Karenin knew nothing about the duality of body and soul and had no concept of disgust. That is why Tereza felt so free and easy with him. (And that is why it is so dangerous to turn an animal into a machina animata, a cow into an automaton for the production of milk. By so doing, man cuts the thread binding him to Paradise and has nothing left to hold or comfort him on his flight through the emptiness of time.)
为什么狗的行经使她开心和欢心，而自己行经却使她恶心呢？对我来说答案似乎是简单的：狗类不是从天堂里放逐出来的。卡列宁绝不知道肉体和灵魂的两重性，也没有恶心的概念。这就是特丽莎与他在一起时感到如此轻松自如的原因。（也正因为如此，把一个动物变成会活动的机器，一头中变成生产牛奶的自动机，是相当危险的。人这样做，就切断了把自己与天堂连接起来的线，在飞越时间的虚空时，他将无所攀依和无所慰藉。）
From this jumble of ideas came a sacrilegious thought that Tereza could not shake off: the love that tied her to Karenin was better than the love between her and Tomas. Better, not bigger. Tereza did not wish to fault either Tomas or herself; she did not wish to claim that they could love each other more. Her feeling was rather that, given the nature of the human couple, the love of man and woman is a priori inferior to that which can exist (at least in the best instances) in the love between man and dog, that oddity of human history probably unplanned by the Creator.
从这堆混乱的念头里，特丽莎生出一种摆脱不开的亵渎的思想，她认为，联系着她与卡列宁的爱，要比她与托马斯的爱要好。不是大一些，是好一些。她既不想挑剔托马斯也不想挑剔自己。她也不希望、宣称他们彼此能有更多的爱，她的感觉是给出一种人类情侣的本性。人类男女之爱对于人与狗之间存在的友爱来说（至少在最佳例证中是如此），预先就低了一等。人类历史上这种奇怪的现象，可能是造物主始料不及的。
It is a completely selfless love: Tereza did not want anything of Karenin; she did not ever ask him to love her back. Nor had she ever asked herself the questions that plague human couples: Does he love me? Does he love anyone more than me? Does he love me more than I love him? Perhaps all the questions we ask of love, to measure, test, probe, and save it, have the additional effect of cutting it short. Perhaps the reason we are unable to love is that we yearn to be loved, that is, we demand something (love) from our partner instead of delivering ourselves up to him demand-free and asking for nothing but his company.
这完全是一种无我的爱：特丽莎不想从卡列宁那里获取什么，从未要求他给予爱的回报。她从未问过自己那种经常折磨人类情侣们的问题：他爱我吗？他是不是更爱别人？他比我爱他爱得更多吗？也许我们所有这些关于爱情的问题，这些度量、测定、试探以及对爱情的挽救，都有一个附加效果，就是把爱情削弱。也许我们不能爱的原因，就是我们急切地希望被人爱，就是说，我们总是要求从对象那里得到什么东西（爱），以此代替了我们向他的奉献给予，代替了我们对他的无所限制和无所求取——除了他的陪伴。
And something else: Tereza accepted Karenin for what he was; she did not try to make him over in her image; she agreed from the outset with his dog's life, did not wish to deprive him of it, did not envy him his secret intrigues. The reason she trained him was not to transform him (as a husband tries to reform his wife and a wife her husband), but to provide him with the elementary language that enabled them to communicate and live together.
另外：特丽莎照卡列宁原来的样子接受了他，没有幻想什么去试图改变他，一开始就赞同他狗的生活，不希望他从狗的生活中脱离出来，也不嫉妒他的秘密私通。她训练他的动因不是要改变他（如一个丈夫试图改造妻子和一个妻子试图改造丈夫），只是给他提供一些基本语言，使他们能够交际和一起生活。
Then too: No one forced her to love Karenin; love for dogs is voluntary. (Tereza was again reminded of her mother, and regretted everything that had happened between them. If her mother had been one of the anonymous women in the village, she might well have found her easygoing coarseness agreeable. Oh, if only her mother had been a stranger! From childhood on, Tereza had been ashamed of the way her mother occupied the features of her face and confiscated her I . What made it even worse was that the age-old imperative Love your father and mother! forced her to agree with that occupation, to call the aggression love! It was not her mother's fault that Tereza broke with her. Tereza broke with her not because she was the mother she was but because she was a mother.)
再有：没有人迫使她去爱卡列宁，爱狗是自愿的。（特丽莎再次回想起母亲，对发生在她们之间的一切感到悔恨。如果母亲是村庄里众多妇女中的一个，她满可以很容易地发现，母亲的粗野也能将就将就。哦，只要她母亲是一个陌生人！从孩提时代起，特丽莎的面容就被母亲霸占，她的“我”就被母亲没收，她对母亲的这种方式感到羞耻。比这更糟糕的是那种长者的命令，“爱你的父亲和母亲”。这种命令强迫她去同意那种霸占，去呼应那种侵略性的爱。特丽莎与母亲的决裂并不是母亲的过错。特丽莎与母亲决裂，不光因为对方是她观在当着的这个母亲，而因为她是一个母亲。）
But most of all: No one can give anyone else the gift of the idyll; only an animal can do so, because only animals were not expelled from Paradise. The love between dog and man is idyllic. It knows no conflicts, no hair-raising scenes; it knows no development. Karenin surrounded Tereza and Tomas with a life based on repetition, and he expected the same from them.
最重要的是：没有人能给其他人一种牧歌式的礼赠，只有动物能这样做。动物不是从天堂里放逐出来的。狗和人之间的爱是牧歌式的。从来不知道有什么冲突，有什么忽发冲冠的壮景；从来不知道什么发展演变。卡列宁在特丽莎和托马斯周围的生活基于一种重复，他期待他们也同样如此。
If Karenin had been a person instead of a dog, he would surely have long since said to Tereza, Look, I'm sick and tired of carrying that roll in my mouth every day. Can't you come up with something different? And therein lies the whole of man's plight. Human time does not turn in a circle; it runs ahead in a straight line. That is why man cannot be happy: happiness is the longing for repetition.
如果卡列宁是一个人而不是一条狗，肯定早就对待丽莎说了：“看，我病了，天天往嘴里送面包圈也厌烦了，你能带点别的什么东西来吗？”就在这里，整个人类的困境得到了展现。人类的时间不是一种圆形的循环，是飞速向前的一条直线。所以人不幸福；幸福是对重复的渴求。
Yes, happiness is the longing for repetition, Tereza said to herself.
是的，幸福是对重复的渴求。特丽莎心里想。
When the chairman of the collective farm took his Mefisto out for a walk after work and met Tereza, he never failed to say, Why did he come into my life so late, Tereza? We could have gone skirt chasing, he and I! What woman could resist these two little pigs? at which point the pig was trained to grunt and snort. Tereza laughed each time, even though she knew beforehand exactly what he would say. The joke did not lose its charm, through repetition. On the contrary. In an idyllic setting, even humor is subject to the sweet law of repetition.
集体农庄主席下工后，带着他的摩菲斯特外出散步，碰到特丽莎时总忘不了说一句：“他干嘛这么迟才到我这里来呢？早来一点，我们可以邀伴去沾花惹草啊！他和我，哪个娘们耐得住这两个猪娃的诱惑？”那一刻，猪就训练有素地哼哼呼呼噜噜一阵。特丽莎虽然预先就确切地知道了对方要说什么，但每次都大笑了。这个玩笑多次重复，还是没有失去煽力。正相反，在牧歌式的环境里，连幽默，也受制于重复这条甜蜜的法律。
5
5
Dogs do not have many advantages over people, but one of them is extremely important: euthanasia is not forbidden by law in their case; animals have the right to a merciful death. Karenin walked on three legs and spent more and more of his time lying in a corner. And whimpering. Both husband and wife agreed that they had no business letting him suffer needlessly. But agree as they might in principle, they still had to face the anguish of determining the time when his suffering was in fact needless, the point at which life was no longer worth living.
狗比起人类没占多少便宜，但有一条是极为重要的：法律没有禁止对狗给予无痛苦致死术；动物有权利得到一种仁慈的处死。卡列宁依靠三条腿行走，更多的时候是躺在角落里呜呜地啜泣。丈夫和妻子都同意，他们没有权利让他毫无必要地遭罪。但是，他们原则上同意了这一点，仍然不得不面对着决定时间的苦恼，即什么时候他的遭罪确实是毫无必要了呢？在哪一个瞬间他的生命不值得再延续了？
If only Tomas hadn't been a doctor! Then they would have been able to hide behind a third party. They would have been able to go back to the vet and ask him to put the dog to sleep with an injection.
如果托马斯不是一个医生那该多好！他们就能躲到第三者的后面去，可以去把兽医找来，请他给狗打上一针，让他安息。
Assuming the role of Death is a terrifying thing. Tomas insisted that he would not give the injection himself; he would have the vet come and do it. But then he realized that he could grant Karenin a privilege forbidden to humans: Death would come for him in the guise of his loved ones.
扮演死神的角色是一件可怕的事。托马斯坚持他不能自己来打针，得把兽医请来做这件事。后来他又意识到，如果这样他可以把一种禁止人类享受的特权提供给卡列宁：让死神具有他亲爱者的外观。
Karenin had whimpered all night. After feeling his leg in the morning, Tomas said to Tereza, "There's no point in waiting."
卡列宁整夜都在呜咽。早上，托马斯摸了摸他的腿，对特丽莎说：“不用等了。”
In a few minutes they would both have to go to work. Tereza went in to see Karenin. Until then, he had lain in his corner completely apathetic (not even acknowledging Tomas when he felt his leg), but when he heard the door open and saw Tereza come in, he raised his head and looked at her.
只有几分钟他们就不得不去上班了。特丽莎进去看看卡列宁。他还躺在角落里，全然没有感觉（甚至托马斯摸他的腿时也不认人），但一听到门响看见特丽莎进来，便竖起脑袋看着她。
She could not stand his stare; it almost frightened her. He did not look that way at Tomas, only at her. But never with such intensity. It was not a desperate look, or even sad. No, it was a look of awful, unbearable trust. The look was an eager question. All his life Karenin had waited for answers from Tereza, and he was letting her know (with more urgency than usual, however) that he was still ready to learn the truth from her. (Everything that came from Tereza was the truth. Even when she gave commands like Sit! or Lie down! he took them as truths to identify with, to give his life meaning.)
她受不了他的凝视，几乎有些害怕。他从不用这种眼光去看托马斯，只是看她。而且即使看的话，也没有现在这样凝重强烈。这不是一种绝望或者悲哀的目光。不，是一种令人惊恐的注视，是不堪承受的信任。这种注视是一种急渴的疑问。卡列宁在一生中，总是等待着特丽莎的回答，现在又努力让她知道（比平时更急切），他正准备着听取来自特丽莎的真理。（从特丽莎口里出来的一切都是真理，连她命令“坐”、“躺下”，他都视为真理，作为他生命的意义而确认不疑。）
His look of awful trust did not last long; he soon laid his head back down on his paws. Tereza knew that no one ever again would look at her like that.
他令人惊恐和信任的目光没有持续多久，头垂下去搁在两只前爪上。特丽莎知道，再也不会有谁象他那样看自己了。
They had never fed him sweets, but recently she had bought him a few chocolate bars. She took them out of the foil, broke them into pieces, and made a circle of them around him. Then she brought over a bowl of water to make sure that he had everything he needed for the several hours he would spend at home alone. The look he had given her just then seemed to have tired him out. Even surrounded by chocolate, he did not raise his head.
他们没有给他喂过糖果，最近她才给他买来了一些巧克力块。她把它们从箔纸里剥出来，碎成小块小块的绕着他放了一圈。她又取来一碗水，让他明白什么都有了，他可以独自在家里呆上几个小时。但他目光中似乎透出了极度厌倦。即使被巧克力环绕着，他的头抬也不抬一下。
She lay down on the floor next to him and hugged him. With a slow and labored turn of the head, he sniffed her and gave her a lick or two. She closed her eyes while the licking went on, as if she wanted to remember it forever. She held out the other cheek to be licked.
她躺在他旁边搂住他。他艰难而缓慢地转过头来，嗅嗅她，舔了她一两下。他舔着的时候，特丽莎闭上了眼睛，好象要永远记住这一切。她又把脸的另一边就过去让他舔。
Then she had to go and take care of her heifers. She did not return until just before lunch. Tomas had not come home yet. Karenin was still lying on the floor surrounded by the chocolate, and did not even lift his head when he heard her come in. His bad leg was swollen now, and the tumor had burst in another place. She noticed some light red (not blood-like,) drops forming beneath his fur.
她不得不起身去照看牛群，直到中午时分才转回来。托马斯还没有回家。卡列宁仍然躺在巧克力的环绕之中，听到她进门，仍然没能把头抬起来。一条腿已经肿起来了，瘤块转移到新的位置。她注意到有些淡红色的（不象血）滴状物在皮下形成。
Again she lay down next to him on the floor. She stretched one arm across his body and closed her eyes. Then she heard someone banging on the door. Doctor! Doctor! The pig is here! The pig and his master! She lacked the strength to talk to anyone, and did not move, did not open her eyes. Doctor! Doctor! The pigs have come! Then silence.
她又一次贴着他躺下来，伸出一条手臂揽住他的身体，闭上了自己的双眼。她听到有人敲门。“大夫，大夫！猪来啦！是猪和它的主人呢！”她缺乏气力去同什么人谈话，没有动也没有打开眼睛。“大夫，大夫！是猪家父子来啦！”一会儿，没有声息了。
Tomas did not get back for another half hour. He went straight to the kitchen and prepared the injection without a word. When he entered the room, Tereza was on her feet and Karenin was picking himself up. As soon as he saw Tomas, he gave him a weak wag of the tail.
托马斯半个小时之后才回来，没吭一声径直去了厨房准备打针。他进入房间时，特丽莎已经站起来，卡列宁也挣扎着起了身。他一看见托马斯就微弱地晃了一下尾巴。
"Look, said Tereza, he's still smiling." She said it beseechingly, trying to win a short reprieve, but did not push for it.
“看，”特丽莎说，“他正在微笑呐。”她有一种恳求的神情，试图赢得一种短暂的延缓，但没有强求。
Slowly she spread a sheet out over the couch. It was a white sheet with a pattern of tiny violets. She had everything carefully laid out and thought out, having imagined Karenin's death many days in advance. (Oh, how horrible that we actually dream ahead to the death of those we love!)
她慢慢地在长沙发上铺开了一张床单，床单的白色底子上有着紫色点子的图案。她早就把一切小心地准备好了，考虑好了，多少天以前就预先设想了卡列宁的死。（哦，我们确实提前梦想着我们所爱的一切行将死去，这是多么恐怖！）
He no longer had the strength to jump up on the couch. They picked him up in their arms together. Tereza laid him on his side, and Tomas examined one of his good legs. He was looking for a more or less prominent vein. Then he cut away the fur with a pair of scissors.
他已经再没有气力跳上沙发了。他们一起动手把他抱上去。特丽莎把他放在托马斯旁边，托马斯检查他余下的三条好腿，寻找多少算得上突出一些的血管，用剪子切开了皮。
Tereza knelt by the couch and held Karenin's head close to her own.
特丽莎跪在沙发旁边，让卡列宁的头紧紧地贴着自己的头。
Tomas asked her to squeeze the leg because he was having trouble sticking the needle in. She did as she was told, but did not move her face from his head. She kept talking gently to Karenin, and he thought only of her. He was not afraid. He licked her face two more times. And Tereza kept whispering, Don't be scared, don't be scared, you won't feel any pain there, you'll dream of squirrels and rabbits, you'll have cows there, and Mefisto will be there, don't be scared ...
托马斯叫她紧紧抓住那条腿，免得他难于下针。她照着做了，但没有让自己的脸离开卡列宁的头。她一直温和地对卡列宁说着话，而他也仅仅想着她，并不害怕，一次次舔着她的脸。特丽莎喃喃低语：“不要怕，不要怕，你不会感到疼的。你要想一想松树和兔子，你还有很多牛，摩菲斯特也在那里，不要怕……”
Tomas jabbed the needle into the vein and pushed the plunger. Karenin's leg jerked; his breath quickened for a few seconds, then stopped. Tereza remained on the floor by the couch and buried her face in his head.
托马斯把针头插进血管，推动了柱塞。卡列宁的腿抽搐了一下，呼吸急促有好几秒钟，然后停止了。特丽莎仍然跪在沙发旁边的地板上，脸埋在他的头毛里。
Then they both had to go back to work and leave the dog laid out on the couch, on the white sheet with tiny violets.
一会儿，他们都得回头去工作，把狗留在沙发上，留在白底紫色点子的床单上。
They came back towards evening. Tomas went into the garden. He found the lines of the rectangle that Tereza had drawn with her heel between the two apple trees. Then he started digging. He kept precisely to her specifications. He wanted everything to be just as Tereza wished.
他们黄昏时分回来了。托马斯走进花园，找到了特丽莎在两颗苹果树之间用鞋跟划出的长方形，开始挖洞。他精确地遵循特丽莎的标示，希望一切都符合她的愿望。
She stayed in the house with Karenin. She was afraid of burying him alive. She put her ear to his mouth and thought she heard a weak breathing sound. She stepped back and seemed to see his breast moving slightly.
特丽莎和卡列宁留在房里。她害怕下葬的时候他还活着，将耳朵贴近他的嘴，觉得自己听到了一种微弱的呼吸声，退一步，似乎看财他胸膛细微的起伏。
(No, the breath she heard was her own, and because it set her own body ever so slightly in motion, she had the impression the dog was moving.)
（不，她听到的呼吸声是自己的，而且自己的身体从来都有细微的颤动，她才有了狗动的印象。）
She found a mirror in her bag and held it to his mouth. The mirror was so smudged she thought she saw drops on it, drops caused by his breath.
她从提包里找出一面镜子，送到他的嘴前。镜面如此模糊不清，她以为自己看见了上面有水珠，水珠当然是狗的呼吸弄出来的。
"Tomas! He's alive!" she cried, when Tomas came in from the garden in his muddy boots.
“托马斯，他还活着！”托马斯拖着两只带泥的靴子走进房门时，她叫起来。
Tomas bent over him and shook his head.
托马斯弯腰看了看，摇摇头。
They each took an end of the sheet he was lying on, Tereza the lower end, Tomas the upper. Then they lifted him up and carried him out to the garden.
他们将垫着他的床单各扯一端，特丽莎是低的一头，托马斯是高的一头，把他抬起来送往花园。
The sheet felt wet to Tereza's hands. He puddled his way into our lives and now he's puddling his way out, she thought, and she was glad to feel the moisture on her hands, his final greeting.
特丽莎感觉到手中的被单有些湿润，想起他是湿津津进入我们生活的，现在又湿津津而去，她高兴地感触到手中的潮湿，他最后的招呼致意。
They carried him to the apple trees and set him down. She leaned over the pit and arranged the sheet so that it covered him entirely. It was unbearable to think of the earth they would soon be throwing over him, raining down on his naked body.
他们来到苹果树前把他放下来。她朝坑穴俯下身去，拾掇床单让它能完全盖住卡列宁。真是不堪想象，泥土就要把他掩埋了，雨水将要洗在他赤裸的身上。
Then she went into the house and came back with his collar, his leash, and a handful of the chocolate that had lain untouched on the floor since morning. She threw it all in after him.
她转回房去取来了他的项圈、皮带，还有早晨以后动也没动的一满捧巧克力，把它们全部投了下去。
Next to the pit was a pile of freshly dug earth. Tomas picked up the shovel.
坑穴边是挖出来的一堆新土，托马斯一铲一铲把土填回去。
Just then Tereza recalled her dream: Karenin giving birth to two rolls and a bee. Suddenly the words sounded like an epitaph. She pictured a monument standing there, between the apple trees, with the inscription Here lies Karenin. He gave birth to two rolls and a bee.
就在这时，特丽莎回想起她的梦：卡列宁生出了两个面包圈和一只蜜蜂。突然，这几个词听起来有点象墓志铭。她想象有一块纪念碑立在两颗苹果树之间，上面刻着：这里安息着卡列宁，他生了两个面包圈和一只蜜蜂。
It was twilight in the garden, the time between day and evening. There was a pale moon in the sky, a forgotten lamp in the room of the dead.
花园已沉入了黄昏，正处在白昼与黑夜之间。一轮较洁的月亮悬在清空，一盏灵堂里忘记关掉了的灯。
Their boots were caked with dirt by the time they took the shovel and spade back to the recess where their tools stood all in a row: rakes, watering cans, hoes.
靴子都沾着泥巴，他们把锹和铲子送回放工具的地方，那里，他们的工具立了一排：耙，水桶，锄头。
6
6
He was sitting at the desk where he usually read his books. At times like these Tereza would come up to him from behind, lean over, and press her cheek to his. On that day, however, she gave a start. Tomas was not reading a book; he had a letter in front of him, and even though it consisted of no more than five typed lines, Tomas was staring at it long and hard.
他坐在平常读书用的桌子前。在这种时候，特丽莎通常会从身后走过来，靠上去，把脸贴到他的面颊上。然而这一天她吃了一惊。托马斯不是在读书，面前是一封信，尽管上面打出来的字不超过五行，托马斯却不解地久久盯着它发呆。
"What is it?" Tereza asked, full of sudden anguish.
“什么事？”特丽莎额觉心里一沉。
Without turning his head, Tomas picked up the letter and handed it to her. It said that he was obliged to report that day to the airfield of the neighboring town.
托马斯没有回头，拿起信递给她。信上说他当日务必赶到邻近某镇的机场去报到。
When at last he turned to her, Tereza read her own new-felt horror in his eyes.
他终于转过头来，特丽莎从他的眼中看到了自己新察觉出来的恐惧。
I'll go with you, she said.
“我跟你一起去。”她说。
He shook his head. I'm the one they want to see.
他摇摇头：“他们只要见我一个。”
No, I'm going with you, she repeated.
“不，我跟你一起去。”她重复一句。
They took Tomas's pickup. They were at the airfield in no time.
他们坐上托马斯的小卡车，不知什么时候赶到了机场。
It was foggy. They could make out only the vaguest outlines of the few airplanes on the field. They went from one to the next, but the doors were all closed. No admittance. At last they found one that was open, with a set of movable stairs leading up to it.
雾很浓，他们仅仅能看清机场上少许几架飞机模糊已极的轮廓。从一架走到另一架，发现所有的门都关着，不能进去。直到最后，他们才发现有一架飞机的门开了，门口靠着一架活动登机梯。
They climbed the stairs and were greeted by a steward at the door. It was a small airplane—one that sat barely thirty passengers—and completely empty. They walked down the aisle between the seats, holding on to each other and not paying much attention to their surroundings. They took two adjoining seats, and Tereza laid her head on Tomas's shoulder. The first wave of horror had passed and been replaced by sadness.
他们爬上去，接受了门口一位乘务员的点头招呼。这是一架小飞机——仅仅能容纳三十位旅客——眼下座位全空着。他们互相搀扶走入座椅之间的过道，占了两个相邻的座位，没有注意周围的一切。特丽莎把头靠在托马斯的肩头，最初的恐惧之潮已经退去，被随之而来的悲凉取代了。
Horror is a shock, a time of utter blindness. Horror lacks every hint of beauty. All we can see is the piercing light of an unknown event awaiting us. Sadness, on the other hand, assumes we are in the know. Tomas and Tereza knew what was awaiting them. The light of horror thus lost its harshness, and the world was bathed in a gentle, bluish light that actually beautified it.
恐惧是一种震击，是高度盲目的瞬间，缺乏任何美的隐示。我们所能看到的是一种尖锐刺耳的光芒而不知有什么事在等着我们。在悲凉这一方面，它在我们面前呈现出已知的东西。托马斯和特丽莎知道什么东西在等待他们，恐惧之光已失去了它的严厉，温和的蓝色光辉泳浴着这个世界，使它美丽。
While reading the letter, Tereza did not feel any love for Tomas; she simply realized that she could not now leave him for an instant: the feeling of horror overwhelmed all other emotions and instincts. Now that she was leaning against him (as the plane sailed through the storm clouds), her fear subsided and she became aware of her love, a love that she knew had no limit or bounds.
特丽莎读信的时候，没有感觉到任何对托马斯的爱，恐惧之感吞灭了所有的感情和本能。而现在，她意识到自己简直一刻也不能离开他了。紧靠着池（这时飞机正在冲过浓浓雨云），她的恐慌消退，渐渐体味到自己的爱，一种她认为无边无际的爱。
At last the airplane landed. They stood up and went to the door, which the steward opened for them. Still holding each other around the waist, they stood at the top of the stairs. Down below they saw three men with hoods over their heads and rifles in their hands. There was no point in stalling, because there was no escape.
飞机终于着陆。他们走向乘务员打开的机门，站在登机梯的顶端时仍然互相搂着腰。他们看见下面站着三个人，都带着兜帽，握着步枪。没有什么可以拖延的，在这里根本不可能逃脱。
They descended slowly, and when their feet reached the ground of the airfield, one of the men raised his rifle and aimed it at them.
他们慢慢走下来，脚刚接触到机场的地面，那三人中有一个举起枪对准了他们。
Although no shot rang out, Tereza felt Tomas—who a second before had been leaning against her, his arm around her waist—crumple to the ground.
没有枪声，但特丽莎感到托马斯——一秒钟前还紧靠着她，搂着她的腰——栽倒在地上。
She tried pressing him to her but could not hold him up, and he fell against the cement runway. She leaned over him, about to fling herself on him, cover him with her body, when suddenly she noticed something strange: his body was quickly shrinking before her eyes. She was so shocked that she froze and stood stock still. The more Tomas's body shrank, the less it resembled him, until it turned into a tiny little object that started moving, running, dashing across the airfield.
她努力抱起他，但他不能支撑住自己，倒在水泥跑道上。她俯下身去扑在他身上，用自己的身体盖住他，但她突然注意到一件奇怪的事：托马斯的身体在眼前飞快地缩小。她是如此震惊，呆呆地站着如同一根木头。托马斯的身体缩得更小了，越来越不太象他，最后变成了极小极小的一颗，开始滑动，奔跑，飞越停机坪。
The man who had shot him took off his mask and gave Tereza a pleasant smile. Then he turned and set off after the little object, which was darting here and there as if trying desperately to dodge someone and find shelter. The chase went on for a while, until suddenly the man hurled himself to the ground. The chase was over.
射杀托马斯的人取下面罩，给了特丽莎一个舒心的微笑，转身开始追击那个小玩意儿。小玩意儿东窜西窜，似乎不顾一切地试图躲避什么东西，找一个藏身之洞。追击持续了一会儿，直到那个人突然一个猛扑才告结束。
The man stood up and went back to Tereza, carrying the object in his hand. It was quaking with fear. It was a rabbit. He handed it to Tereza. At that instant her fear and sadness subsided and she was happy to be holding an animal in her arms, happy that the animal was hers and she could press it to her body. She burst into tears of joy. She wept, wept until blinded by her tears, and took the rabbit home with the feeling that she was nearly at her goal, the place where she wanted to be and would never forsake.
那人站起来回到特丽莎面前，手里抓着什么东西。是一只兔子，一只害怕得哆哆嗦嗦的兔子。他将其交给特丽莎。一刹那间，特丽莎的恐惧和悲凉都消失了，高兴地把这只动物抱在怀里，很高兴这只兔子属于她，可以把它紧紧地贴着自己的身体。她突然欣喜地哭了，哭着哭着，直到泪水蒙住了双眼。她带着兔子回家，感到自己已经接近了她的目标，她想要呆在那里并永远不再抛弃的地方。
Wandering the streets of Prague, she had no trouble finding her house, the house where she had lived with Mama and Papa as a small girl. But Mama and Papa were gone. She was greeted by two old people she had never seen before, but whom she knew to be her great-grandfather and great-grandmother. They both had faces as wrinkled as the bark of a tree, and Tereza was happy she would be living with them. But for now, she wanted to be alone with her animal. She immediately found the room she had been given at the age of five, when her parents decided she deserved her own living space.
她在布拉格的街头游荡，没费什么事就找到了自己的房子，她小时候同爸爸妈妈一起住过的房子。但爸爸妈妈已经定了。有两个她不曾见过的人招呼抛，但她知道那是自己的老祖父和老祖母。他们脸上都有树皮般的深深皱纹，特丽莎很高兴将同他们住在一起。不过跟下，她希望能与自己的小动物先单独呆一会儿。她很快找到了自己五岁时住的那间房，当时父母决定她应该有自己的生活空间了。
It had a bed, a table, and a chair. The table had a lamp on it, a lamp that had never stopped burning in anticipation of her return, and on the lamp perched a butterfly with two large eyes painted on its widespread wings. Tereza knew she was at her goal. She lay down on the bed and pressed the rabbit to her face.
房里有一张床，一张桌子，一把椅子。桌上有一盏灯，那盏灯从未停止过燃烧，似乎一直预料到了她的归来。灯架上栖息着一只蝴蝶，宽大的翅翼上印上了两个大大的斑圈。特丽莎知道这只蝴蝶就是自己的终点。她在床上慢慢躺下来，把兔子紧紧贴住自己的脸。
7
7
He was sitting at the desk where he usually read his books, an open envelope with a letter in it lying in front of him. "From time to time I get letters I haven't told you about, he said to Tereza. They're from my son. I've tried to keep his life and mine completely separate, and look how fate is getting even with me. A few years ago he was expelled from the university. Now he drives a tractor in a village. Our lives may be separate, but they run in the same direction, like parallel lines."
他正坐在平常读书用的桌子前，面前摊着一个已经开了的信封和一封信。“好几次了，我收到一些信，没有告诉过你，”他对特丽莎说，“是我儿子写来的。我努力把我和他的生活完全分开，看我到底落个什么下场。几年前，他被大学开除了，眼下在一个村子里开拖拉机。我们的生活也许是分开了，不过它们还是朝一个方向运动，象平行线。”
"Why didn't you ever tell me about the letters?" Tereza asked, with a feeling of great relief.
“你于嘛从不告诉我这些信？”特丽莎大松了一口气。
"I don't know. It was too unpleasant, I suppose."
“不知道。我以为这事令人很不愉快。”
"Does he write often?"
“他经常写吗？”
"Now and then."
“时不时写。”
"What about?"
“写些什么？”
"Himself."
“他自己。”
"And is it interesting?"
“有趣吗？”
"Yes, it is. You remember that his mother was an ardent Communist. Well, he broke with her long ago. Then he took up with people who had trouble like ours, and got involved in political activities with them. Some of them are in prison now. But he's broken with them, too. In his letters he calls them 'eternal revolutionaries.'"
“是的，有趣。你该记得，他母亲是个热情的追随当局者。这样，他很早就同她断了关系。后来，他接济一些象我们这样倒了霉的人，跟着他们转入了政治活动。他们中间有些人已下了大牢。但他也跟他们分手了。他在信里，称他们是‘永远革命派’。”
"Does that mean he's made his peace with the regime?"
“是不是说，他与当局讲和了？”
"No, not in the least. He believes in God and thinks that that's the key. He says we should all live our daily lives according to the dictates of religion and pay no heed to the regime, completely ignore it. If we believe in God, he claims, we can take any situation and, by means of our own behavior, transform it into what he calls 'the kingdom of God on earth.' He tells me that the Church is the only voluntary association in ourcountry which eludes the control of the state. I wonder whether he's joined the Church because it helps him to oppose the regime or because he really believes in God."
“不，根本不是。他信了上帝，还认为这事至关重要。他说我们不必留意当局，完全不理它，应该根据宗教的指示来度过日常生活。他宣称，要是我们信上帝，就可以按我们的行为方式，对付任何形势，把它们变成他叫作‘人间的天国’的一种东西。他说在我们国家，教会是唯一能逃避国家控制的自愿者团体。教会帮助他反对当局，他真正信仰上帝，所以我很想知道，他是不是入了教会。”
"Why don't you ask him?"
“你为什么不问他？”
"I used to admire believers," Tomas continued. "I thought they had an odd transcendental way of perceiving things which was closed to me. Like clairvoyants, you might say. But my son's experience proves that faith is actually quite a simple matter. He was down and out, the Catholics took him in, and before he knew it, he had faith. So it was gratitude that decided the issue, most likely. Human decisions are terribly simple."
“我以前钦佩信徒，”托马斯继续说，“我以为他们有一种奇异的先验方式，来察觉我身边的事情。你可以说，象特异功能者。但我儿子的经历证明，忠诚实际上是一件相当简单的事情。他摔了一交，被抛弃了，天主教收留了他。他还不知道天主教是什么，就行了忠诚。所以决定问题的是感激，很可能。人类的众多决定都简单得可怕。”
"Haven't you ever answered his letters?"
“你给他回过信吗？”
"He never gives a return address, he said, though the postmark indicates the name of the district. I could just send a letter to the local collective farm.""
“他从没留下回信的地址，”他说，“邮戳只标明了地区名称，我只好给那个集体农庄寄了一封信。”
Tereza was ashamed of having been suspicious of Tomas, and hoped to expiate her guilt with a rush of benevolence towards his son. "Then why not drop him a line, invite him to come and see us? "
特丽莎想起自己曾经怀疑托马斯，感到有点羞愧，希望能补偿一下自己的过失，有一种给他儿子做点什么事的冲动：“为什么不给他写上一句，邀请他来看看我们？”
"He looks like me," said Tomas.
“他看起来象我，”托马斯说。
"When he talks, his upper lip curls just like mine. The thought of watching my own lips go on about the kingdom of God—it seems too strange."
“一讲话，上嘴皮扭得象我的一样。让我来看自己的嘴皮劈哩啪啦谈什么天国——这个想法莫名其妙。”
Tereza burst out laughing.
特丽莎哈哈大笑起来。
Tomas laughed with her.
托马斯也与她笑成一团。
"Don't be such a child, Tomas!" said Tereza. "It's ancient history, after all, you and your first wife. What's it to him? What's he got to do with it? Why hurt the boy just because you had bad taste when you were young?"
“不要这样孩子气，托马斯！”特丽莎说，“你和你前妻的事，毕竟是一本老帐了，与他有什么关系？他又有什么办法？干嘛因为你自己年轻时找错了人，来伤害这个孩子？”
"Frankly, I have stage fright at the thought of meeting him. That's the main reason I haven't done anything about it. I don't know what's made me so headstrong and kept me from seeing him. Sometimes you make up your mind about something without knowing why, and your decision persists by the power of inertia. Every year it gets harder to change."
“坦白地说吧，一想到同他见面，我就怯场。这是主要原因，使我什么也没干。我不知道什么东西搞得我这样顽固，始终不想见他。有时候，你打定主意却不知道为什么，惯性力量使你坚持下去。这东西一年年强化，很难改变。”
"Invite him," she said.
“请他来吧！”她说。
That afternoon she was on her way back from the cow sheds when she heard voices from the road. Coming closer, she saw Tomas's pickup. Tomas was bent over, changing a tire, while some of the men stood about looking on and waiting for him to finish.
下午，她从牛棚回来的路上，听到大路上有人声。近了，才辨出是托马斯的小卡车。他弯着腰正在换轮胎，一些人围着他等待完工。
She could not tear her eyes away from him: he looked like an old man. His hair had gone gray, and his lack of coordination was not that of a surgeon turned driver but of a man no longer young.
她不能使自己的目光从他身上移开：他看上去象一位老人，头发变灰了，今非昔比了，不在于从医生变成了司机，而在于不再年轻了。
She recalled a recent talk with the chairman of the collective farm. He had told her that Tomas's pickup was in miserable condition. He said it as a joke, not a complaint, but she could tell he was concerned. "Tomas knows the insides of the body better than the insides of an engine," he said with a laugh. He then confessed that he had made several visits to the authorities to request permission for Tomas to resume his medical practice, if only locally. He had learned that the police would never grant it.
她回想起最近一次与集体农庄主席的谈话。对方告诉她，托马斯的车子情况很糟糕。他象是在开玩笑而不是抱怨，但她听出他是有所担心。“托马斯对人里面的东西，比对机器里面的东西当然内行得多罗！”他哈哈大笑。接着，他承认他去过当局那里好几次，要求他们同意托马斯归队干本行，哪怕在地方上干干也好。但他得知警察局仍然不批准。
She had stepped behind a tree trunk so that none of the men by the pickup could see her. Standing there observing him, she suffered a bout of self-recrimination: It was her fault that he had come back to Prague from Zurich, her fault that he had left Prague, and even here she could not leave him in peace, torturing him with her secret suspicions while Karenin lay dying.
她走到一棵树的树干后面，不让卡车旁边的人看见自己。她站在那里久久地观察丈夫，突然感到一阵强烈的自责：他从苏黎世返回布拉格是她的错，他离开布拉格也是她的错，甚至就是在这里，她未能给他留下一丝安宁，卡列宁病死那阵子，她还用隐秘的怀疑来折磨他。
She had always secretly reproached him for not loving her enough. Her own love she considered above reproach, while his seemed mere condescension.
她总是隐秘地责怪托马斯爱她爱得不够，把自已的爱视为无可指责，视为对他的一种屈尊恩赐。
Now she saw that she had been unfair: If she had really loved Tomas with a great love, she would have stuck it out with him abroad! Tomas had been happy there; a new life was opening for him! And she had left him! True, at the time she had convinced herself she was being magnanimous, giving him his freedom. But hadn't her magnanimity been merely an excuse? She knew all along that he would come home to her! She had summoned him farther and farther down after her like the nymphs who lured unsuspecting villagers to the marshes and left them there to drown. She had taken advantage of a night of stomach cramps to inveigle him into moving to the country! How cunning she could be! She had summoned him to follow her as if wishing to test him again and again, to test his love for her; she had summoned him persistently, and here he was, tired and gray, with stiffened fingers that would never again be capable of holding a scalpel.
现在，她看出了自己是不公正的：如果她真是怀着伟大的爱去爱托马斯，就应该在国外坚持到底！托马斯在那里是快乐的，新的一片生活正在向他展开！然而她离开了他！确实，那时她自信是宽宏大量地给他以自由。但是，她的宽宏大量不仅仅是个托辞吗？她始终知道托马斯会回家来到自己身边的！她召唤他一步一步随着她下来，象山林女妖把毫无疑心的村民诱入沼泽，把他们抛在那里任其沉没。她还利用那个胃痛之夜骗他迁往农村！她是多么狡诈啊！她召唤他跟随着自己，似乎希望一次又一次测试他，测试他对她的爱；她坚持不懈地召唤他，以至现在他就在这里，疲惫不堪，霜染鬓发，手指僵硬，再也不能捉稳解剖刀了。
Now they were in a place that led nowhere. Where could they go from here? They would never be allowed abroad. They would never find a way back to Prague: no one would give them work. They didn't even have a reason to move to another village.
现在他们已经山穷水尽了，还能向哪里去呢？他们不可能再获准出国了，不可能再找到一种回布拉格的办法了：那里不会有人给他们工作。他们甚至没有理由移居到另一个村庄。
Good God, had they had to cover all that distance just to make her believe he loved her?
仁慈的上帝，他们定完了所有的路程，只是为了让特丽莎相信他爱她吗？
At last Tomas succeeded in getting the tire back on. He climbed in behind the wheel, the men jumped in the back, and the engine roared.
托马斯终于成功地换好了轮胎，爬到驾驶座上。人们也开始上车，发动机吼了起来。
She went home and drew a bath. Lying in the hot water, she kept telling herself that she had set a lifetime of her weaknesses against Tomas. We all have a tendency to consider strength the culprit and weakness the innocent victim. But now Tereza realized that in her case the opposite was true! Even her dreams, as if aware of the single weakness in a man otherwise strong, made a display of her suffering to him, thereby forcing him to retreat. Her weakness was aggressive and kept forcing him to capitulate until eventually he lost his strength and was transformed into the rabbit in her arms. She could not get that dream out of her mind.
她回家洗了个澡。躺在热水里，她总是对自己说，她用了自己一生的软弱来反对托马斯。我们所有的人总是倾向于认为，强力是罪犯，而软弱是纯真的受害者。但现在特丽莎意识到，在她这里真理恰恰相反。即使是她那些梦，在一个男人的感觉中仅仅是软弱而非坚强的梦，也展示了她对托马斯的伤害，迫使他退却。她的软弱是侵略性的，一直迫使他投降，直到最后完全丧失强力，变成了一只她怀中的兔子。她无法摆脱那个梦。
She stood up from her bath and went to put on some nice clothes. She wanted to look her best to please him, make him happy.
她从浴盆里站起来，穿上一些好看的衣服，希望自己以最好的姿容使他愉悦快乐。
Just as she buttoned the last button, in burst Tomas with the chairman of the collective farm and an unusually pale young farm worker.
她刚刚扣完最后一颗纽扣，托马斯和集体农庄主席，还有一位脸白异常的年轻农工，闯了进来。
"Quick!" shouted Tomas. "Something strong to drink!"
“快！”托马斯叫道，”来点烈性酒！”
Tereza ran out and came back with a bottle of slivovitz. She poured some into a liqueur glass, and the young man downed it in one gulp.
特丽莎跑出去，取回一瓶思利沃维兹，往一个酒杯里倒出一些。年轻人一口就饮得干干净净。
Then they told her what had happened. The man had dislocated his shoulder and started bellowing with pain. No one knew what to do, so they called Tomas, who with one jerk set it back in its socket.
他们告诉她事情经过。那位小伙子刚才肩胛骨脱臼；痛得叫爹叫妈。大家都不知道怎么办，只好叫托马斯。托马斯三下五除二就把骨头复位了。
After downing another glass of slivovitz, the man said to Tomas, "Your wife's looking awfully pretty today."
小伙子又喝下一杯，对托马斯说：“你太太今天真成了绝色佳人！”
"You idiot," said the chairman. "Tereza is always pretty."
“呆子！”主席说，“特丽莎从来就漂亮。”
"I know she's always pretty," said the young man, "but today she has such pretty clothes on, too. I've never seen you in that dress. Are you going out somewhere?"
“我知道她从来就漂亮，”年轻人说，“但今天她穿上了这么漂亮的衣服。这身打扮我可从来没有见过。你们准备出门吗？”
"No, I'm not. I put it on for Tomas."
“不，不是。我是为托马斯穿的。”
"You lucky devil!" said the chairman, laughing. "My old woman wouldn't dream of dressing up just for me."
“你这个幸运的魔鬼！”主席大笑着说，“我那老太婆做梦也没想过要为我来穿衣！”
"So that's why you go out walking with your pig instead of your wife," said the young man, and he started laughing, too.
“难怪，你总是同猪娃去散步，猪娃代替了你老婆。”年轻人也开始哈哈大笑起来。
"How is Mefisto, anyway?" asked Tomas. "I haven't seen him for at least —" he thought a bit, "— at least an hour."
“算了，摩菲斯特怎么样？”托马斯问。“我至少——”他想了想，“至少一个小时没有看见它了。”
"He must be missing me," said the chairman.
“它一定在想念我。”主席说。
"Seeing you in that dress makes me want to dance," the young man said to Tereza. And turning to Tomas, he asked, "Would you let me dance with her?"
“看见你这身打扮，我就想跳舞，”年轻人转向托马斯问，“你允许我跟她跳舞吗？”
"Let's all go and dance," said Tereza.
“我们都去跳吧。”特丽莎说。
"Would you come along?" the young man asked Tomas.
“你来吗？”年轻人问托马斯。
"Where do you plan to go?" asked Tomas.
“你们打算到哪里去？”托马斯问。
The young man named a nearby town where the hotel bar had a dance floor.
小伙子说了附近一个小镇的名字，那里的旅馆酒吧有一个舞厅。
"You come too," said the young man in an imperative tone of voice to the chairman of the collective farm, and because by then he had downed a third glass of slivovitz, he added, "If Mefisto misses you so much, we'll take him along. Then we'll have both little pigs to show off. The women will come begging when they get an eyeful of those two together!" And again he laughed and laughed.
“你也来，”年轻人已经喝下了第三杯思利沃缎兹，用指令的口气对集体农庄主席说，又加上一句：“要是摩菲斯特太想念你，我们就把它也带上。这一来我们有两个可以出场的猪娃啦！娘们一眼看俩大饱眼福，不来求才怪呢！”他又哈哈大笑。
"If you're not ashamed of Mefisto, I'm all yours." And they piled into Tomas's pickup—Tomas behind the wheel, Tereza next to him, and the two men in the back with the half-empty bottle of slivovitz. Not until they had left the village behind did the chairman realize that they had forgotten Mefisto. He shouted up to Tomas to turn back.
“要是诸位不觉得摩菲斯特丢人，我就听你们的。”他们挤上了托马斯的小卡车——托马斯开车，特丽莎坐在旁边，两个男人带着半瓶酒坐在后面。车子还没有出村，主席发现大家忘了摩菲斯特，大叫大嚷让托马斯把车开回去。
"Never mind," said the young man. "One little pig will do the trick." That calmed the chairman down.
“不要急，一只猪娃也开得了锣。”小伙子让主席安静下来。
It was growing dark. The road started climbing in hairpin curves.
天渐渐黑了，道路开始急转弯爬高。
When they reached the town, they drove straight to the hotel. Tereza and Tomas had never been there before. They went downstairs to the basement, where they found the bar, the dance floor, and some tables. A man of about sixty was playing the piano, a woman of the same age the violin. The hits they played were forty years old. There were five or so couples out on the floor.
他们来到镇上径直开到旅馆。特丽莎和托马斯从未到过这里。他们下到地下室，找到了酒吧、舞厅以及几张桌子。有一位大概六十来岁的人在弹着钢琴，年纪与他差不多的一位妇人拉着小提琴。演奏的名曲已有四十年历史了。有五、六对舞伴飘在舞池的地板上。
"Nothing here for me," said the young man after surveying the situation, and immediately asked Tereza to dance.
“这里没有人跟我跳。”小伙子朝四周扫了一眼，立即邀特丽莎跳舞。
The collective farm chairman sat down at an empty table with Tomas and ordered a bottle of wine.
集体农庄主席和托马斯坐在一张空桌旁边，要了一瓶葡萄酒。
"I can't drink," Tomas reminded him. "I'm driving."
“我不能喝，”托马斯提醒他，“我要开车。”
"Don't be silly," he said. "We're staying the night." And he went off to the reception desk to book two rooms.
“别傻，”他说，“我们在这里过夜。”他起身去服务台，订两个房间。
When Tereza came back from the dance floor with the young man, the chairman asked her to dance, and finally Tomas had a turn with her, too.
特丽莎与小伙子从舞池里归来，主席接着邀她，最后才轮到托马斯。
"Tomas," she said to him out on the floor, "everything bad that's happened in your life is my fault. It's my fault you ended up here, as low as you could possibly go."
“托马斯，”她在舞池里对他说，“你生活中的一切，都是我的错。由于我的错，你的句号打在这里，低得不可能再低了。”
"Low? What are you talking about?"
“低？你说什么？”
"If we had stayed in Zurich, you'd still be a surgeon."
“要是我们呆在苏黎世，你仍然会是一位外科医生。”
"And you'd be a photographer."
“你会是一位摄影师。”
"That's a silly comparison to make," said Tereza. "Your work meant everything to you; I don't care what I do, I can do anything, I haven't lost a thing; you've lost everything."
“这是作一种愚蠢的比较，”特丽莎说，“你的工作对你来说意昧着一切；我不在乎我干什么，我什么都能干。我只失去了一样东西，你失去了所有的东西。”
"Haven't you noticed I've been happy here, Tereza?" Tomas said.
“你没注意到我在这里很快乐？特丽莎？”托马斯说。
"Surgery was your mission," she said.
“外科是你的事业。”她说。
"Missions are stupid, Tereza. I have no mission. No one has. And it's a terrific relief to realize you're free, free of all missions."
“追求事业是愚蠢的，特丽莎，我没有事业。任何人也没有。认识到你是自由的，不被所有的事业束缚，这才是一种极度的解脱。”
There was no doubting that forthright voice of his. She recalled the scene she had witnessed earlier in the day when he had been repairing the pickup and looked so old. She had reached her goal: she had always wanted him to be old. Again she thought of the rabbit she had pressed to her face in her childhood room.
他坦率的声音不容怀疑。特丽莎回想起几个小时前他修理卡车时的一幕，想起自己亲眼看到他如此老态。她已经达到了自己的目标：一直希望他变得老一些。她再次回想起自己儿时的房间里那只紧紧贴着自己面颊的小兔。
What does it mean to turn into a rabbit? It means losing all strength. It means that one is no stronger than the other anymore.
变成一只兔子意味着什么？这意昧着丧失所有的力量，意昧着一个人比任何人都虚弱。
On they danced to the strains of the piano and violin. Tereza leaned her head on Tomas's shoulder. Just as she had when they flew together in the airplane through the storm clouds. She was experiencing the same odd happiness and odd sadness as then. The sadness meant: we are at the last station. The happiness meant: we are together. The sadness was form, the happiness content. Happiness filled the space of sadness.
他们随着钢琴和小提琴的旋律翩翩飘舞。特丽莎把头靠着托马斯的肩膀，正如他们在飞机中一起飞过浓浓雨云时一样。她体验到奇异的快乐和同样奇异的悲凉。悲凉意昧着：我们处在最后一站。快乐意味着：我们在一起。悲凉是形式，快乐是内容。快乐注入在悲凉之中。
They went back to their table. She danced twice more with the collective farm chairman and once with the young man who was so drunk he fell with her on the dance floor.
他们回到桌边。特丽莎又同集体农庄主席和小伙子跳了两三轮，小伙子喝得太多，以至同她一起摔倒在舞池中。
Then they all went upstairs and to their two separate rooms.
接着，他们上楼去，找到了他们那两间分开了的房间。
Tomas turned the key and switched on the ceiling light. Tereza saw two beds pushed together, one of them flanked by a bedside table and lamp. Up out of the lampshade, startled by the overhead light, flew a large nocturnal butterfly that began circling the room. The strains of the piano and violin rose up weakly from below.
托马斯转动钥匙，扭开了吊灯。特丽莎看见两张床并排挨在一起，其中一张靠着一张小桌和一盏灯。灯罩下的一只巨大的蝴蝶，被头顶的光吓得一惊，扑扑飞起，开始在夜晚的房间里盘旋。钢琴和小提琴的旋律依稀可闻，从楼下丝丝缕缕地升上来。