16
第16节
After I had my breakfast, it was only around noon, and I wasn't meeting old Sally till two o'clock, so I started taking this long walk. I couldn't stop thinking about those two nuns. I kept thinking about that beatup old straw basket they went around collecting money with when they weren't teaching school. I kept trying to picture my mother or somebody, or my aunt, or Sally Hayes's crazy mother, standing outside some department store and collecting dough for poor people in a beat-up old straw basket. It was hard to picture. Not so much my mother, but those other two.
我吃完早饭,时间还只中午,可我要到两点才去跟老萨丽·海斯相会,所以我开始了一次漫长的散步。我心里老是想着那两个修女。我想着她们在不教书的时候怎样拿了那只破旧的草篮到处募捐。我努力想象我母亲或者别的什么人,或者我姑母,或者萨丽·海斯的那个混帐母亲,怎样站在百货公司门口拿了只破旧的草篮替穷人募捐。这幅图景简直很难想象。我母亲倒还好,可另外那两个就不成了。
My aunt's pretty charitable--she does a lot of Red Cross work and all--but she's very well-dressed and all, and when she does anything charitable she's always very well-dressed and has lipstick on and all that crap. I couldn't picture her doing anything for charity if she had to wear black clothes and no lipstick while she was doing it. And old Sally Hayes's mother. Jesus Christ. The only way she could go around with a basket collecting dough would be if everybody kissed her ass for her when they made a contribution. If they just dropped their dough in her basket, then walked away without saying anything to her, ignoring her and all, she'd quit in about an hour. She'd get bored. She'd hand in her basket and then go someplace swanky for lunch. That's what I liked about those nuns. You could tell, for one thing, that they never went anywhere swanky for lunch. It made me so damn sad when I thought about it, their never going anywhere swanky for lunch or anything. I knew it wasn't too important, but it made me sad anyway.
我姑母倒是很乐善好施——她做过不少红十字会工作——可她非常爱打扮,不管她做什么慈善工作,总是打扮得漂漂亮亮,擦着口红什么的。她要是只穿一套黑衣服,不擦口红,我简直没法想象她怎么还能做慈善工作。至于老萨丽·海斯的母亲。老天爷。只有一种情况下她才可能拿着篮子出去募捐,那就是人们捐钱给她的时候个个拍她马屁。如果他们光是把钱扔进她的篮子,对她不瞅不睬,连话也不跟她说一句就走开了,那么要不了一个钟头她自己也会走开。她会觉得腻烦。她会送还那只篮子,然后到一家时髦饭店里去吃午饭。我喜欢那些修女就在这一点上。你看得出她们至少不到时髦地方去吃午饭。我想到这里,不由得难过得要命,她们为什么不到时髦地方去吃午饭什么的呢。我知道这事无关紧要,可我心里很难过。
I started walking over toward Broadway, just for the hell of it, because I hadn't been over there in years. Besides, I wanted to find a record store that was open on Sunday. There was this record I wanted to get for Phoebe, called "Little Shirley Beans." It was a very hard record to get. It was about a little kid that wouldn't go out of the house because two of her front teeth were out and she was ashamed to. I heard it at Pencey. A boy that lived on the next floor had it, and I tried to buy it off him because I knew it would knock old Phoebe out, but he wouldn't sell it. It was a very old, terrific record that this colored girl singer, Estelle Fletcher, made about twenty years ago. She sings it very Dixieland and whorehouse, and it doesn't sound at all mushy. If a white girl was singing it, she'd make it sound cute as hell, but old Estelle Fletcher knew what the hell she was doing, and it was one of the best records I ever heard. I figured I'd buy it in some store that was open on Sunday and then I'd take it up to the park with me. It was Sunday and Phoebe goes rollerskating in the park on Sundays quite frequently. I knew where she hung out mostly.
我开始向百老汇走去,没有任何混帐目的,只是因为我有好几年没上那一带去了。再说,我也想找一家在星期天营业的唱片铺子。我想给菲芘买一张叫什么《小舍丽·宾斯》的唱片。这是张很难买到的唱片,唱的是一个小女孩因为两颗门牙掉了,觉得害羞,不肯走出屋去。我曾在潘西听到过。住在我底下一层楼的一个学生有这张唱片,我知道这唱片会让老菲芘着迷,很想把它买下来,可那学生不肯卖。这是张非常了不起的旧唱片,是黑人姑娘艾丝戴尔·弗莱契在约莫二十年前唱的。她唱的时候完全是狄克西兰和妓院的味道,可是听上去一点也不下流。要换了个白人姑娘唱起来,就会做作得要命,可老艾丝戴尔·弗莱契知道怎么唱。这确是一张很少听到的好唱片。我揣摩我也许能在哪家星期天营业的铺于里买到,然后带着它到公园去。今天是星期天,每到星期天菲芘常常到公园溜冰。我知道她的一般行踪。
It wasn't as cold as it was the day before, but the sun still wasn't out, and it wasn't too nice for walking. But there was one nice thing. This family that you could tell just came out of some church were walking right in front of me--a father, a mother, and a little kid about six years old. They looked sort of poor. The father had on one of those pearl-gray hats that poor guys wear a lot when they want to look sharp. He and his wife were just walking along, talking, not paying any attention to their kid. The kid was swell.
天气己不象昨天那么冷,可是太阳依旧没有出来,散起步来并不怎么愉快。可是有一件事很不错。有一家子人就在我面前走着,你看得出他们刚从哪一个教堂里出来。他们一共三人——父亲、母亲,带着一个约莫六岁的小孩子——看去好象很穷。那父亲戴着一顶银灰色帽子;一般穷人想要打扮得漂亮,通常都戴这种帽子。他和他妻子一边讲话一边走,一点也不注意他们的孩子。那孩子却很有意思。
He was walking in the street, instead of on the sidewalk, but right next to the curb. He was making out like he was walking a very straight line, the way kids do, and the whole time he kept singing and humming. I got up closer so I could hear what he was singing. He was singing that song, "If a body catch a body coming through the rye." He had a pretty little voice, too. He was just singing for the hell of it, you could tell. The cars zoomed by, brakes screeched all over the place, his parents paid no attention to him, and he kept on walking next to the curb and singing "If a body catch a body coming through the rye." It made me feel better. It made me feel not so depressed any more.
他不是在人行道上走,而是紧靠着界沿石在马路上走。他象一般孩子那样在走着直线玩,一边走一边还哼着歌儿。我走近去听他唱些什么。他正在唱那支歌:“你要是在麦田里捉到了我。”他的小嗓子还挺不错。他只是随便唱着玩,你听得出来。汽车来去飞驰,刹车声响成一片,他的父母却一点也不注意他,他呢,只顾紧靠着界沿石走,嘴里唱着“你要是在麦田里捉到了我。”这使我心情舒畅了不少。我心里不象先前那么沮丧了。
Broadway was mobbed and messy. It was Sunday, and only about twelve o'clock, but it was mobbed anyway. Everybody was on their way to the movies--the Paramount or the Astor or the Strand or the Capitol or one of those crazy places. Everybody was all dressed up, because it was Sunday, and that made it worse. But the worst part was that you could tell they all wanted to go to the movies. I couldn't stand looking at them. I can understand somebody going to the movies because there's nothing else to do, but when somebody really wants to go, and even walks fast so as to get there quicker, then it depresses hell out of me. Especially if I see millions of people standing in one of those long, terrible lines, all the way down the block, waiting with this terrific patience for seats and all. Boy, I couldn't get off that goddam Broadway fast enough. I was lucky. The first record store I went into had a copy of "Little Shirley Beans." They charged me five bucks for it, because it was so hard to get, but I didn't care. Boy, it made me so happy all of a sudden. I could hardly wait to get to the park to see if old Phoebe was around so that I could give it to her.
百老汇熙来攘往,到处是人。今天是星期天,还只十二点左右,可已到处是人。人人在走向电影院——派拉蒙或者阿斯特或者斯特兰德或者凯比托尔或者任何一个这类混帐地方。人人都穿得很齐整,因为今天是星期天,这就使情况更加糟糕。可最糟糕的是你看得出他们全都想要到电影院去。我没法拿眼看他们,这叫我心里受不了。我可以理解有些人因为没事可做而到电影院去,可是如果有人真正想要到电影院去、甚至还加快脚步以便早些到达,我见了就会沮丧得要命。特别是我看见千百万人排成可怕的长队站了整整一条街,显出极大的耐性等候着座位。嘿,我真恨不得插翅飞过这个混帐百老汇。我的运气很好。我进去的第一家唱片店就有张《小舍丽·宾斯》。他们要我五块钱,因为这种唱片很难买到,可我不在乎。嘿,我一时变得高兴极了。我恨不得马上赶到公园里,看看老菲芘是不是在,好把唱片给她。
When I came out of the record store, I passed this drugstore, and I went in.
我从唱片店出来,经过一家药房,就走了进去。
I figured maybe I'd give old Jane a buzz and see if she was home for vacation yet. So I went in a phone booth and called her up. The only trouble was, her mother answered the phone, so I had to hang up. I didn't feel like getting involved in a long conversation and all with her. I'm not crazy about talking to girls' mothers on the phone anyway. I should've at least asked her if Jane was home yet, though. It wouldn't have killed me. But I didn't feel like it. You really have to be in the mood for that stuff.
我想打一个电话给琴,看看她有没有放假回家。因此我进了电话间,打了个电话给她,讨厌的是,接电话的是她母亲,所以我不得不把电话挂了。我不想在电话里跟她进行一次长谈。一句话,我不爱在电话里跟女朋友的母亲谈话。可我至少应该问问她琴回家没有。那也要不了我的命。不过我当时没那心情。干这种事,你真得心情对头才成。
I still had to get those damn theater tickets, so I bought a paper and looked up to see what shows were playing. On account of it was Sunday, there were only about three shows playing. So what I did was, I went over and bought two orchestra seats for I Know My Love. It was a benefit performance or something. I didn't much want to see it, but I knew old Sally, the queen of the phonies, would start drooling all over the place when I told her I had tickets for that, because the Lunts were in it and all. She liked shows that are supposed to be very sophisticated and dry and all, with the Lunts and all. I don't. I don't like any shows very much, if you want to know the truth. They're not as bad as movies, but they're certainly nothing to rave about. In the first place, I hate actors. They never act like people. They just think they do. Some of the good ones do, in a very slight way, but not in a way that's fun to watch. And if any actor's really good, you can always tell he knows he's good, and that spoils it. You take Sir Laurence Olivier, for example. I saw him in Hamlet. D.B. took Phoebe and I to see it last year. He treated us to lunch first, and then he took us. He'd already seen it, and the way he talked about it at lunch, I was anxious as hell to see it, too. But I didn't enjoy it much. I just don't see what's so marvelous about Sir Laurence Olivier, that's all. He has a terrific voice, and he's a helluva handsome guy, and he's very nice to watch when he's walking or dueling or something, but he wasn't at all the way D.B. said Hamlet was. He was too much like a goddam general, instead of a sad, screwed-up type guy. The best part in the whole picture was when old Ophelia's brother--the one that gets in the duel with Hamlet at the very end--was going away and his father was giving him a lot of advice. While the father kept giving him a lot of advice, old Ophelia was sort of horsing around with her brother, taking his dagger out of the holster, and teasing him and all while he was trying to look interested in the bull his father was shooting. That was nice. I got a big bang out of that. But you don't see that kind of stuff much.
我还得去买两张混帐戏票,所以我买了份报纸,看看有些什么戏在上演。今天是星期天,只演出三场日戏。我于是买了两张《我知道我的爱》的正厅前排票。这是场义演什么的,我自己并不怎么想看,可我知道老萨丽是天底下最最假摸假式的女子,她一听说我买了这戏票,由伦特夫妇主演,就会高兴得要命。她就喜欢看这种戏,既枯燥又俗气,由伦特夫妇什么的主演。我跟她不一样。我根本不喜欢看戏,如果你要我说老实话。它们不象电影那么糟糕,可是当然也没什么可夸奖的。主要是,我讨厌那些演员。他们从来不象真人那样行动。他们只是自以为演得象真人。有几个好演员演得倒是有点儿象真人,不过并不值得一看。一个演员要是真正演得好,你总是看得出他知道自己演得好,这就糟蹋了一切。拿劳伦斯·奥列维尔爵士来说吧。我看过他主演的《哈姆莱特》,是DB去年带了菲芘和我一起去看的。他先请我们吃了顿午饭,然后请我们去看戏。他自己已经看过了,吃午饭时他把戏说得那么好,连我也根不得马上就去看。可我看了却不觉得怎么好。我实在看不出劳伦斯·奥列维尔爵士好在哪里。他有很好的嗓子,是个挺漂亮的家伙,他走路或是斗剑时候很值得一看,可他一点不象DB所说的哈姆莱特。他太象个混帐的将军,而不是个忧郁的、不如意的倒楣蛋。整个戏里演得最好的部分是老奥菲莉姬的哥哥——就是最后跟哈姆莱特斗剑的那个——要动身,他父亲给了他许许多多忠告。父亲一个劲儿给他许许多多忠告,老奥菲莉姬却不住地在逗她哥哥玩,把他的匕首从鞘里拔出来,用各种方法逗他,他呢,却一本正经,假装对他父亲的胡说八道很感兴趣。这的确演得不错,我看了非常高兴,可是象这样的玩艺儿戏里并不多。
The only thing old Phoebe liked was when Hamlet patted this dog on the head. She thought that was funny and nice, and it was. What I'll have to do is, I'll have to read that play. The trouble with me is, I always have to read that stuff by myself. If an actor acts it out, I hardly listen. I keep worrying about whether he's going to do something phony every minute.
老菲芘喜欢的只有一个地方,就是哈姆莱特拍拍那只狗的脑袋的时候。她觉得这很好玩,也很有意思,事实上也确是这样。可我非做不可的是,我不得不把那剧本读一遍。我的问题是,遇到这类玩艺儿我总是非自己读一遍不可。要是由演员演出,我总不肯好好听。我老是担心他下一分钟会不会做出假模假式的事来。
After I got the tickets to the Lunts' show, I took a cab up to the park. I should've taken a subway or something, because I was getting slightly low on dough, but I wanted to get off that damn Broadway as fast as I could.
我买了伦特夫妇主演的戏票,就乘出租汽车到公园。我本应该乘地铁什么的,因为我的钱已经不多了,不过我实在想离开那个混帐百老汇,越快越好。
It was lousy in the park. It wasn't too cold, but the sun still wasn't out, and there didn't look like there was anything in the park except dog crap and globs of spit and cigar butts from old men, and the benches all looked like they'd be wet if you sat down on them. It made you depressed, and every once in a while, for no reason, you got goose flesh while you walked. It didn't seem at all like Christmas was coming soon. It didn't seem like anything was coming. But I kept walking over to the Mall anyway, because that's where Phoebe usually goes when she's in the park. She likes to skate near the bandstand. It's funny. That's the same place I used to like to skate when I was a kid.
公园里也很糟糕。天气倒不太冷,可是太阳依旧没出来,整个公园除了狗屎和老人吐的痰、扔的雪茄烟头以外,好象什么都没有,那些长椅看去也湿漉漉的,简直没法坐下。这幅景象实在很叫人泄气,而且你走着走着,不知怎的隔一会儿就会起鸡皮疙瘩。这儿一点没有快要过圣诞节的迹象。这儿简直什么迹象都没有。可我还是一直向林荫路走去,因为菲芘来到公园,总是在这一带玩。她喜欢在音乐台附近溜冰。说来好笑,我小时候,也总喜欢在这一带溜冰。
When I got there, though, I didn't see her around anywhere. There were a few kids around, skating and all, and two boys were playing Flys Up with a soft ball, but no Phoebe. I saw one kid about her age, though, sitting on a bench all by herself, tightening her skate. I thought maybe she might know Phoebe and could tell me where she was or something, so I went over and sat down next to her and asked her, "Do you know Phoebe Caulfield, by any chance?"
可我到了那里,连她的影儿也没见。有几个小孩子在那儿溜冰,还有两个大男孩拿了个垒球在玩“空中飞球”,只是不见菲芘。后来我看见有个跟她差不多年纪的小女孩独自坐在长椅上紧她的溜冰鞋。我想她也许认得菲芘,能告诉我她在什么地方,所以我走过去在她身旁坐下,问她说:“我问你,你认得菲芘·考尔菲德吗?”
"Who?" she said. All she had on was jeans and about twenty sweaters. You could tell her mother made them for her, because they were lumpy as hell.
“谁?”她说,她只穿了条运动裤和约莫二十件运动衫。衣服上好象全都是疙瘩,你看得出准是她母亲自己做的。
"Phoebe Caulfield. She lives on Seventy-first Street. She's in the fourth grade, over at--"
“菲芘·考尔菲德。住在第七十一条街,念四年级,就在——”
"You know Phoebe?"
“你认得菲芘?”
"Yeah, I'm her brother. You know where she is?"
“不错,我是她哥哥。你知道她在哪儿吗?”
"She's in Miss Callon's class, isn't she?" the kid said.
“她是不是凯隆小姐班上的?”小女孩问。
"I don't know. Yes, I think she is."
“我不知道。不错,我想她是那班上的。”
"She's prob'ly in the museum, then. We went last Saturday," the kid said.
“那么说来,她大概在博物馆里。我们上星期六去过了,”小女孩说。
"Which museum?" I asked her.
“哪个博物馆?”我问她。
She shrugged her shoulders, sort of. "I don't know," she said. "The museum."
她好象端了端肩膀。“我不知道,”她说。“在博物馆里。”
"I know, but the one where the pictures are, or the one where the Indians are?"
“我知道,不道是那个有图片的呢,还是那个有印第安人的?”
"The one where the Indians."
“那个有印第安人的。”
"Thanks a lot," I said. I got up and started to go, but then I suddenly remembered it was Sunday. "This is Sunday," I told the kid.
“谢谢,”我说。我站起来要走,可突然记起今天是星期天。“今天是星期天呢,”我对小女孩说。
She looked up at me. "Oh. Then she isn't."
她抬起头来看看我。“哦,那她就不在那儿了。”
She was having a helluva time tightening her skate. She didn't have any gloves on or anything and her hands were all red and cold. I gave her a hand with it. Boy, I hadn't had a skate key in my hand for years. It didn't feel funny, though. You could put a skate key in my hand fifty years from now, in pitch dark, and I'd still know what it is. She thanked me and all when I had it tightened for her. She was a very nice, polite little kid. God, I love it when a kid's nice and polite when you tighten their skate for them or something. Most kids are. They really are. I asked her if she'd care to have a hot chocolate or something with me, but she said no, thank you. She said she had to meet her friend. Kids always have to meet their friend. That kills me.
她费了很大的劲儿在紧她的四轮榴冰鞋。她没戴手套什么的,两只小手冻得又红又冷。我就帮了她一下。嘿,我有多少年没摸过溜冰鞋钥匙啦,可我拿在手里一点也不觉得陌生。哪怕是五十年以后,在漆一样黑的暗地里,你拿一把溜冰鞋钥匙塞在我手里,我都知道这是溜冰鞋钥匙。我把她的溜冰鞋收紧以后,她就向我道谢。她是一个很好、很懂礼貌的小姑娘。老天爷,我就喜欢那样的孩子,你给他们紧了溜冰鞋什么的,他们很懂礼貌,会向你道谢。大多数孩子都这样。一点不假。我问她是不是愿意跟我一块儿去喝杯热巧克力什么的,可她说不,谢谢你。她说她得去找她的朋友。孩子们老是要去找他们的朋友。真让我笑疼肚皮。
Even though it was Sunday and Phoebe wouldn't be there with her class or anything, and even though it was so damp and lousy out, I walked all the way through the park over to the Museum of Natural History. I knew that was the museum the kid with the skate key meant. I knew that whole museum routine like a book. Phoebe went to the same school I went to when I was a kid, and we used to go there all the time. We had this teacher, Miss Aigletinger, that took us there damn near every Saturday. Sometimes we looked at the animals and sometimes we looked at the stuff the Indians had made in ancient times. Pottery and straw baskets and all stuff like that. I get very happy when I think about it. Even now. I remember after we looked at all the Indian stuff, usually we went to see some movie in this big auditorium.
尽管是星期天,菲芘和她的全班同学都不会在那儿;尽管外面的天气是那么潮湿、那么糟糕,我还是穿过公园一路向综合博物馆走去。我知道这就是那个紧溜冰鞋的小姑娘所说的博物馆。我对整个搏物馆里的一切熟悉得就象背一本书一样。菲芘进的学校也是我小时候进的学校,我们那时候老是到博物馆去。我们那个名叫艾格莱丁格小姐的老师差不多每星期六都带我们去。有时候我们去看动物,有时候看古代印第安人做的一些玩艺儿。陶器、草蓝以及类似的玩艺儿。我只要一想起这事,心里就非常高兴。连现在也这样。我还记得我们看完所有这些印第安玩艺儿以后,常常到大礼堂去看电影。
Columbus. They were always showing Columbus discovering America, having one helluva time getting old Ferdinand and Isabella to lend him the dough to buy ships with, and then the sailors mutinying on him and all. Nobody gave too much of a damn about old Columbus, but you always had a lot of candy and gum and stuff with you, and the inside of that auditorium had such a nice smell. It always smelled like it was raining outside, even if it wasn't, and you were in the only nice, dry, cosy place in the world. I loved that damn museum. I remember you had to go through the Indian Room to get to the auditorium. It was a long, long room, and you were only supposed to whisper.
哥伦布。他们老是放映哥伦布发现新大陆的电影,先是费了很大劲儿向老裴迪南和伊萨伯拉借钱买船,后来又是水手们打算背叛他。对老哥伦布谁也没多大兴趣,可你身上总是带着不少糖果和口香糖之类的玩艺儿,再说大礼堂里面也有一股很好闻的气味。尽管外面天气挺好,你进了里面总闻到一股好象外面在下大雨的气味,好象全世界就是这个地方最好、最干燥、最舒适。我很喜欢那个混帐博物馆。我记得到大礼堂去的时候得经过印第安馆,那是个极长、极长的房间,进了里面不准大声说话。
The teacher would go first, then the class. You'd be two rows of kids, and you'd have a partner. Most of the time my partner was this girl named Gertrude Levine.
而且总是老师走在头里,全班的学生跟在后头。孩子们排成双行,每人都有个伴儿。极大多数时间跟我作伴儿的总是个叫作杰特鲁德·莱文的小姑娘。
She always wanted to hold your hand, and her hand was always sticky or sweaty or something. The floor was all stone, and if you had some marbles in your hand and you dropped them, they bounced like madmen all over the floor and made a helluva racket, and the teacher would hold up the class and go back and see what the hell was going on. She never got sore, though, Miss Aigletinger. Then you'd pass by this long, long Indian war canoe, about as long as three goddam Cadillacs in a row, with about twenty Indians in it, some of them paddling, some of them just standing around looking tough, and they all had war paint all over their faces. There was one very spooky guy in the back of the canoe, with a mask on. He was the witch doctor. He gave me the creeps, but I liked him anyway. Another thing, if you touched one of the paddles or anything while you were passing, one of the guards would say to you, "Don't touch anything, children," but he always said it in a nice voice, not like a goddam cop or anything. Then you'd pass by this big glass case, with Indians inside it rubbing sticks together to make a fire, and a squaw weaving a blanket. The squaw that was weaving the blanket was sort of bending over, and you could see her bosom and all. We all used to sneak a good look at it, even the girls, because they were only little kids and they didn't have any more bosom than we did. Then, just before you went inside the auditorium, right near the doors, you passed this Eskimo. He was sitting over a hole in this icy lake, and he was fishing through it. He had about two fish right next to the hole, that he'd already caught. Boy, that museum was full of glass cases. There were even more upstairs, with deer inside them drinking at water holes, and birds flying south for the winter. The birds nearest you were all stuffed and hung up on wires, and the ones in back were just painted on the wall, but they all looked like they were really flying south, and if you bent your head down and sort of looked at them upside down, they looked in an even bigger hurry to fly south.
她老爱拉着你的手,而她的手又老是汗律律、粘糊糊的。地板是一色的石头地,你要是有几颗玻璃弹子在手里,随便往地上一扔,它们就会在地上到处乱蹦,发出一片响声,老师就会叫全班同学都停下来,自己走回来查看出了什么事。可是这位艾格莱丁格小姐从来不发脾气。接着你经过那艘挺长、挺长的印第安独木战艇,约莫有三辆混帐凯迪拉克排在一溜那么长,里面约莫有二十个印第安人,有几个在打桨,有几个只是神气活现地站在那儿,每人的脸上都绘着武士的花纹。在独木船的后部有个非常可怕的家伙,脸上戴着面具。他是个巫医。他让我起鸡皮疙瘩,可我还是挺喜欢他。另一件事,你走过时候要是碰了下木浆什么的,其中一个看守就会跟你说:“别碰东西,孩子们。”可他说话的声音总是挺和气,并不象个混帐警察什么的。接着你经过那只太玻璃柜,里面有几个印第安人在擦木棒取火,还有个印第安女人在织毯子。这个织毯子的印第安女人弯着腰,我们都看得见她的乳房,我们经过的时候,总要偷偷瞧一眼,连姑娘们也那样,因为她们还都是小孩子,跟我们一样没什么乳房。接着,就在进大礼堂之前,靠近大门旁边,你还经过那个爱斯基摩人。他正坐在一个冰湖里面的窟窿上面,往窟窿里钓鱼。窟窿旁边还有两条鱼,是他已经捉得的。嘿,这个博物馆里,玻璃柜子可真不少。楼上甚至还要多,里面有鹿在水洞边喝水,有鸟儿飞往南方过冬。离你最近的那些鸟全都是剥制的,挂。在一些钢丝上,后面的那些鸟都画在墙上,可你一眼看去,全都象真正往南飞,你要是低下脑袋倒着看,它们甚至显得更快地在往南飞。
The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'd move. You could go there a hundred thousand times, and that Eskimo would still be just finished catching those two fish, the birds would still be on their way south, the deers would still be drinking out of that water hole, with their pretty antlers and their pretty, skinny legs, and that squaw with the naked bosom would still be weaving that same blanket. Nobody'd be different. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldn't be that, exactly. You'd just be different, that's all. You'd have an overcoat on this time. Or the kid that was your partner in line the last time had got scarlet fever and you'd have a new partner. Or you'd have a substitute taking the class, instead of Miss Aigletinger. Or you'd heard your mother and father having a terrific fight in the bathroom. Or you'd just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you'd be different in some way--I can't explain what I mean. And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it.
不过博物馆里最好的一点是一切东西总呆在原来的地方不动。谁也不挪移一下位置。你哪怕去十万次,那个爱斯基摩人依旧刚捉到两条鱼;那些鸟依旧在往南飞;鹿依旧在水洞边喝水,它们的角依旧那么美丽,它们的腿依旧那么又细又好看;还有那个裸露着乳房的印策安女人依旧在织同一条毯子。谁也不会改变样儿。唯一变样的东西只是你自己。倒不一定是变老了什么的。严格说来,倒不一定是这个。不过你反正改了些样儿,就是这么回事。比如说这一次你穿了件大衣。或者上次跟你排在一起的那个孩子患了猩红热,另换了个人排在你旁边。或者带领学生的已不是艾格莱丁格小姐,另换了别的什么人。或者你听见你妈妈和爸爸在浴室里打了一次架,打得很凶。或者你刚在街上经过一汪子一汪子的水,水上的汽油泛出虹一般的色彩。我是说你反正总有些地方不一样了——我说不清楚我的意思。即使我说得清楚,我怕自己也不一定想说。
I took my old hunting hat out of my pocket while I walked, and put it on. I knew I wouldn't meet anybody that knew me, and it was pretty damp out. I kept walking and walking, and I kept thinking about old Phoebe going to that museum on Saturdays the way I used to. I thought how she'd see the same stuff I used to see, and how she'd be different every time she saw it. It didn't exactly depress me to think about it, but it didn't make me feel gay as hell, either. Certain things they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone. I know that's impossible, but it's too bad anyway. Anyway, I kept thinking about all that while I walked.
我走着走着,就从口袋里掏出那顶猎人帽,戴到头上。我知道不会遇到什么熟人,再说外面的天气又潮湿得那么厉害。我一边走,一边想着老菲芘怎样在每星期六象我一样上博物馆。我想着她怎样观看我过去常常看的同一些玩艺儿,怎样每次看的时候她这个人总会有所不同。我这样想着,心里虽然说不上沮丧,却也不会快活得要命。有些事物应该老保持着老样子。你应该把它们搁进那种大玻璃柜里,别去动它们。我知道这是不可能办到的,不过这照样是件很糟糕的事。嗯,我一边走,一边就想着这一类事。
I passed by this playground and stopped and watched a couple of very tiny kids on a seesaw. One of them was sort of fat, and I put my hand on the skinny kid's end, to sort of even up the weight, but you could tell they didn't want me around, so I let them alone.
我经过体育场,就停住脚步看两个很小的小孩子玩跷跷板。有一个孩子比较胖,我就把手搁在瘦孩子那一头,帮他们平衡,可你看得出他们不喜欢我在他们旁边,我也只好走了。
Then a funny thing happened. When I got to the museum, all of a sudden I wouldn't have gone inside for a million bucks. It just didn't appeal to me--and here I'd walked through the whole goddam park and looked forward to it and all. If Phoebe'd been there, I probably would have, but she wasn't. So all I did, in front of the museum, was get a cab and go down to the Biltmore. I didn't feel much like going. I'd made that damn date with Sally, though.
接着发生了一件很好笑的事。我走到博物馆门口,忽然不想进去了,哪怕白给我一百万块钱我也不想进去。我这会儿就是没那个心情——可我刚才还眼巴巴地穿过整个混帐公园来到博物馆,恨不得尽快进去呢。要是菲芘在里面,我或许会进去,可她不在里面。因此我就在博物馆门口叫了辆出租汽车上比尔特摩了。我心里并不怎么想去,可我已他妈的跟萨丽约好啦。