17
第17节
I was way early when I got there, so I just sat down on one of those leather couches right near the clock in the lobby and watched the girls. A lot of schools were home for vacation already, and there were about a million girls sitting and standing around waiting for their dates to show up. Girls with their legs crossed, girls with their legs not crossed, girls with terrific legs, girls with lousy legs, girls that looked like swell girls, girls that looked like they'd be bitches if you knew them.
我到那儿的时候还很早,所以我就在休息室钟旁的皮椅上坐下,看那些姑娘。许多学校都已放假,这儿总有一百万个姑娘或坐或立,在等她们的男朋友。有的姑娘交叉着腿,有的姑娘并不交叉着腿,有的姑娘大腿好看得要命,有的姑娘大腿难看得要命,有的姑娘看去为人很不错,有的姑娘看去很可能是只母狗,如果你对她有进一步了解的话。
It was really nice sightseeing, if you know what I mean. In a way, it was sort of depressing, too, because you kept wondering what the hell would happen to all of them. When they got out of school and college, I mean. You figured most of them would probably marry dopey guys. Guys that always talk about how many miles they get to a gallon in their goddam cars. Guys that get sore and childish as hell if you beat them at golf, or even just some stupid game like ping-pong. Guys that are very mean. Guys that never read books. Guys that are very boring--
这委实是一片绝好的景色,你要是懂得我意思的话。可是说起来,这景色看了也有点叫人泄气,因为你老会嘀咕着所有这些姑娘将来会有他妈的什么遭遇。我是说在她们离开中学或大学以后。你可以料到她们绝大多数都会嫁给无聊的男人。这类男人有的老是谈着他们的混帐汽车一加仑汽油可以行驶多少英里。有的要是打高尔夫球输了,或者甚至在乒乓球之类的无聊球赛中输了,就会难过得要命,变得非常孩子气。有的非常卑鄙。有的从来不看书。有的很讨人厌——
But I have to be careful about that. I mean about calling certain guys bores. I don't understand boring guys. I really don't. When I was at Elkton Hills, I roomed for about two months with this boy, Harris Mackim. He was very intelligent and all, but he was one of the biggest bores I ever met. He had one of these very raspy voices, and he never stopped talking, practically. He never stopped talking, and what was awful was, he never said anything you wanted to hear in the first place. But he could do one thing. The sonuvabitch could whistle better than anybody I ever heard. He'd be making his bed, or hanging up stuff in the closet--he was always hanging up stuff in the closet--it drove me crazy--and he'd be whistling while he did it, if he wasn't talking in this raspy voice. He could even whistle classical stuff, but most of the time he just whistled jazz. He could take something very jazzy, like "Tin Roof Blues," and whistle it so nice and easy--right while he was hanging stuff up in the closet--that it could kill you. Naturally, I never told him I thought he was a terrific whistler. I mean you don't just go up to somebody and say, "You're a terrific whistler." But I roomed with him for about two whole months, even though he bored me till I was half crazy, just because he was such a terrific whistler, the best I ever heard. So I don't know about bores. Maybe you shouldn't feel too sorry if you see some swell girl getting married to them. They don't hurt anybody, most of them, and maybe they're secretly all terrific whistlers or something. Who the hell knows? Not me.
不过在这一点上,我得小心一些。我是说在说别人讨人厌这一点上。我不了解讨人厌的家伙。我真的不了解。我在爱尔克敦·希尔斯的时候,跟一个叫哈里斯·梅克林的家伙同屋住了两个月。他这人非常聪明,可又是我所遇到的最最讨人厌的家伙。他说话的声音极其刺耳,可又一天到晚讲个不停,简直没完没了。更可怕的是,他从来不讲任何你听得入耳的话。可他有一个长处。这个婊子养的吹起口哨来,可比谁都好。他一边铺床,或是一边往壁橱里挂着什么——他老是往壁橱里挂着什么——真叫我受不了——他一边干着这类玩艺儿,一边就吹着口哨,只要他不是在用刺耳的声音讲话。他连古典歌曲都能吹,可他绝大部分时间只吹着爵士歌曲。他都能吹最地道的爵士歌曲,象《白铁屋顶忧伤曲》之类,而且吹得那么好听,那么轻松愉快——就在他往壁橱里挂什么东西的时候——你听了都会灵魂儿出窍。自然啦,我从来没告诉他我认为他的口哨吹的好得了不得。我是说你决不会走到什么人身边直截了当地说:“你的口哨吹的好得了不得。”可我还是跟他同屋住了差不多整整两个月,尽管我把他讨厌得要命,原因是,他的口哨吹得真是好极了,是我听到过的最最好的。所以说我不了解讨人厌的家伙。也许你瞧见哪个挺不错的姑娘嫁给他们的时候心里不应该太难受。他们中间绝大多数并不害人,再说他们私下里也许都是了不得的口哨家什么的。他妈的谁知道?至少我不知道。
Finally, old Sally started coming up the stairs, and I started down to meet her. She looked terrific. She really did. She had on this black coat and sort of a black beret. She hardly ever wore a hat, but that beret looked nice. The funny part is, I felt like marrying her the minute I saw her. I'm crazy. I didn't even like her much, and yet all of a sudden I felt like I was in love with her and wanted to marry her. I swear to God I'm crazy. I admit it.
最后,老萨丽上楼来了,我就立刻下楼迎接她,她看去真是漂亮极了。一点不假。她身穿一件黑大衣,头戴一顶黑色法国帽。她平时很少戴帽子,可这顶法国帽戴在她头上的确漂亮。好笑的是,我一看见她,简直想跟她结婚了。我真是疯了。我甚至都不怎么喜欢她,可突然间我竟觉得自己爱上了她,想跟她结婚了。我可以对天发誓我的确疯了。我承认这一点。
"Holden!" she said. "It's marvelous to see you! It's been ages." She had one of these very loud, embarrassing voices when you met her somewhere. She got away with it because she was so damn good-looking, but it always gave me a pain in the ass.
“霍尔顿!”她说。“见到你真是高兴!咱们好象有几世纪没见面啦!”你跟她在外面相见,她说话的声音总是那么响,很叫人不好意思。她因为长得他妈的实在漂亮,所以谁都会原谅她,可我心里总有点儿作呕。
"Swell to see you," I said. I meant it, too. "How are ya, anyway?"
“见到你也真高兴,”我说。我说的也是心里话。“你好吗?”
"Absolutely marvelous. Am I late?"
“好得不能再好啦。我来迟了没有?”
I told her no, but she was around ten minutes late, as a matter of fact. I didn't give a damn, though. All that crap they have in cartoons in the Saturday Evening Post and all, showing guys on street corners looking sore as hell because their dates are late--that's bunk. If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody. "We better hurry," I said. "The show starts at two-forty." We started going down the stairs to where the taxis are.
我对她说没有,可事实上她来迟了约莫十分钟。我倒是一点也不介意。《星期六晚报》上所登的那些漫画,一些在街头等着的男人因为女朋友来起了,都气得要命——这是骗人的玩艺儿。要是一个姑娘跟你见面的时候看去极漂亮,谁还他妈的在乎她来得是不是迟了?谁也不会在乎。“咱们最好快走,”我说。“戏在二点四十开演。”我们于是下楼向停出租汽车的地方走去。
"What are we going to see?" she said.
“咱们今天看什么戏?”她说。
"I don't know. The Lunts. It's all I could get tickets for."
“我不知道。伦特夫妇演的。我只买到这个票。”
"The Lunts! Oh, marvelous!"
“伦特夫妇!哦,真太好了!”
I told you she'd go mad when she heard it was for the Lunts.
我已经跟你说过,她只要听见是伦特夫妇演的,就会高兴得连命都不要。
We horsed around a little bit in the cab on the way over to the theater. At first she didn't want to, because she had her lipstick on and all, but I was being seductive as hell and she didn't have any alternative. Twice, when the goddam cab stopped short in traffic, I damn near fell off the seat. Those damn drivers never even look where they're going, I swear they don't. Then, just to show you how crazy I am, when we were coming out of this big clinch, I told her I loved her and all.
在去戏院的路上,我们在汽车里胡搞了一会儿。最初她不肯,因为她搽着口红什么的,可我真是他妈的猴急得要命,她简直拿我没办法。有两次,汽车在红灯前突然停住,我都他妈的差点儿从座上摔了下来。这些混帐司机从来不注意自己的汽车在往哪儿开,我敢发誓他们从来不注意。现在,我再来告诉你我究竟疯狂到了什么地步,当我们在这次热烈的拥抱中清醒过来的时候,我竞对她说我爱她。
It was a lie, of course, but the thing is, I meant it when I said it. I'm crazy. I swear to God I am.
这当然是撤谎,不过问题是,我说的时候,倒真是说的心里话。我真是疯了。我可以对天发誓我真是疯了。
"Oh, darling, I love you too," she said. Then, right in the same damn breath, she said, "Promise me you'll let your hair grow. Crew cuts are getting corny. And your hair's so lovely."
“哦,亲爱的,我也爱你,”她说。接着她还一口气往下说:“答应我把你的头发留起来。水手式的平头已经不时兴了。再说你的头发又那么可爱。”
Lovely my ass.
可爱个屁。
The show wasn't as bad as some I've seen. It was on the crappy side, though. It was about five hundred thousand years in the life of this one old couple. It starts out when they're young and all, and the girl's parents don't want her to marry the boy, but she marries him anyway. Then they keep getting older and older. The husband goes to war, and the wife has this brother that's a drunkard. I couldn't get very interested. I mean I didn't care too much when anybody in the family died or anything. They were all just a bunch of actors. The husband and wife were a pretty nice old couple--very witty and all--but I couldn't get too interested in them. For one thing, they kept drinking tea or some goddam thing all through the play. Every time you saw them, some butler was shoving some tea in front of them, or the wife was pouring it for somebody.
这戏倒不象我过去看过的某些戏那么糟。可也不怎么好。故事讲的是一对夫妇一生中约莫五十万年里的事。开始时候他们都很年轻,姑娘的父母不答应她跟那个小伙子结婚,可她最后还是跟他结婚了。接着他们的年纪越来越大。丈夫出征了,妻子有个弟弟是个醉鬼。我看了实在不感兴趣。我是说我对他们家里有人死了什么的毫不关心。他们不过是一嘟噜演员罢了。那丈夫和妻子倒是一对挺不错的夫妇——很有点儿鬼聪明——可我对他们并不太感兴趣。特别是,他们在整场戏里老是在喝着茶或者其他混帐玩艺儿。你每次看见他们,总有个佣人拿茶端到他们面前,或是那妻子在倒茶给什么人喝。
And everybody kept coming in and going out all the time--you got dizzy watching people sit down and stand up. Alfred Lunt and Lynn Fontanne were the old couple, and they were very good, but I didn't like them much. They were different, though, I'll say that. They didn't act like people and they didn't act like actors. It's hard to explain. They acted more like they knew they were celebrities and all. I mean they were good, but they were too good.
还有戏里不住有人进进出出——你光是看着人们坐下站起都会看得头昏眼花。阿尔法莱德·伦特和琳·封丹演那对夫妇,他们演得非常好,可我不怎么喜欢他们。不过凭良心说,他们确是与众不同。他们演得不象真人,也不象演员。简直很难解释。他们演的时候,很象他们知道自己是名演员什么的。我是说他们演得很好,不过他们演得太好了。
When one of them got finished making a speech, the other one said something very fast right after it. It was supposed to be like people really talking and interrupting each other and all. The trouble was, it was too much like people talking and interrupting each other. They acted a little bit the way old Ernie, down in the Village, plays the piano. If you do something too good, then, after a while, if you don't watch it, you start showing off. And then you're not as good any more. But anyway, they were the only ones in the show--the Lunts, I mean--that looked like they had any real brains. I have to admit it.
比如说,他们一个刚说完话,另一个马上接口很快地说了什么。这是在学真实生活中人们说话时彼此打断对方说话的情形。他们的表演艺术很有点儿象格林威治村的老欧尼弹钢琴。你不管做什么事,如果做得太好了,一不警惕,就会在无意中卖弄起来。那样的话,你就不再那么好了。可是不管怎样,戏里就只他们两个——我是说伦特夫妇——看去象是真正有头脑的人。我得承认这一点。
At the end of the first act we went out with all the other jerks for a cigarette. What a deal that was. You never saw so many phonies in all your life, everybody smoking their ears off and talking about the play so that everybody could hear and know how sharp they were. Some dopey movie actor was standing near us, having a cigarette. I don't know his name, but he always plays the part of a guy in a war movie that gets yellow before it's time to go over the top. He was with some gorgeous blonde, and the two of them were trying to be very blasé and all, like as if he didn't even know people were looking at him. Modest as hell. I got a big bang out of it. Old Sally didn't talk much, except to rave about the Lunts, because she was busy rubbering and being charming. Then all of a sudden, she saw some jerk she knew on the other side of the lobby. Some guy in one of those very dark gray flannel suits and one of those checkered vests. Strictly Ivy League. Big deal. He was standing next to the wall, smoking himself to death and looking bored as hell. Old Sally kept saying, "I know that boy from somewhere." She always knew somebody, any place you took her, or thought she did. She kept saying that till I got bored as hell, and I said to her, "Why don't you go on over and give him a big soul kiss, if you know him? He'll enjoy it."
演完第一幕,我们就跟其他那些傻瓜蛋一起出去抽烟。这真是个盛举。你这一辈子从未见过有这么多的伪君子聚在一起,每个人都拼命袖烟,大声谈论戏,让别人都能听见他们的声音,知道他们有多么了不起。有个傻里傻气的电影演员站在我们附近抽烟。我不知道他的名字,可他老是在战争片里担任胆小鬼的角色。他跟一个极漂亮的金发姑娘在一起,他们两个都装出很厌倦的样子,好象甚至都不知道周围有人在看他们似的。真是谦虚得要命。我看了倒是十分开心。老萨丽除了夸奖伦特夫妇外,简直很少说话,因为她正忙着伸长脖子东张西望,装出一副迷人的样子。接着她突然看见休息室的另一头有一个她认识的傻瓜蛋。那家伙穿了套深灰色的法兰绒衣服,一件格子衬衫,是个地道的名牌大学生。真了不起。他靠墙站着,只顾没命地抽烟,一副腻烦极了的样子。老萨丽不住地说:“我认识那小伙子。”不管你带她去什么地方,她总认识什么人,或者她自以为认识什么人。她说了又说,后来我腻烦透了,就对她说:“你既然认识他,干吗不过去亲亲热热地吻他一下呢?他准会高兴。”
She got sore when I said that. Finally, though, the jerk noticed her and came over and said hello. You should've seen the way they said hello. You'd have thought they hadn't seen each other in twenty years. You'd have thought they'd taken baths in the same bathtub or something when they were little kids. Old buddyroos. It was nauseating. The funny part was, they probably met each other just once, at some phony party. Finally, when they were all done slobbering around, old Sally introduced us.
她听了这话很生气。最后,那傻瓜蛋终于看见了她,就过来跟她打招呼。你真该看见他们打招呼时的样子。你准以为他们有二十年没见面了。你还会以为他们小时候都在一个澡盆里洗澡什么的。是一对老得不能再老的朋友。真正叫人作呕。好笑的是,他们也许只见过一面,在某个假模假式的舞会里。最后,他们假客气完了,老萨丽就给我们两个介绍。
His name was George something--I don't even remember--and he went to Andover. Big, big deal. You should've seen him when old Sally asked him how he liked the play. He was the kind of a phony that have to give themselves room when they answer somebody's question. He stepped back, and stepped right on the lady's foot behind him. He probably broke every toe in her body. He said the play itself was no masterpiece, but that the Lunts, of course, were absolute angels.
他的名字叫乔治什么的——我都记不得了——是安多佛大学的学生。真——真了不起。可惜你没看见老萨丽问他喜不喜欢这戏时他的那副样子。他正是那种假得不能再假的伪君子,回答别人问题的时候,还得给自己腾出地方来。他往后退了一步,正好脚踩在一位站在他后面的太太的脚上。他大概把她的那几个脚趾全都踩断了。他说加戏本身不怎么样,可是伦特夫妇,当然啦,完完全全是天仙下凡。
Angels. For Chrissake. Angels. That killed me.
天仙下凡。老天爷,天仙下凡。我听了差点儿笑死。
Then he and old Sally started talking about a lot of people they both knew. It was the phoniest conversation you ever heard in your life. They both kept thinking of places as fast as they could, then they'd think of somebody that lived there and mention their name.
接着他和老萨丽开始聊起他们两个都认识的许多熟人来。这是你一辈子从来没听到过的最假模假式的谈话。他们以最快的速度不断想出一些地方来,然后再想出一些住在那地方的人,说出他们的名字。
I was all set to puke when it was time to go sit down again. I really was. And then, when the next act was over, they continued their goddam boring conversation. They kept thinking of more places and more names of people that lived there. The worst part was, the jerk had one of those very phony, Ivy League voices, one of those very tired, snobby voices. He sounded just like a girl. He didn't hesitate to horn in on my date, the bastard. I even thought for a minute that he was going to get in the goddam cab with us when the show was over, because he walked about two blocks with us, but he had to meet a bunch of phonies for cocktails, he said. I could see them all sitting around in some bar, with their goddam checkered vests, criticizing shows and books and women in those tired, snobby voices. They kill me, those guys.
等到我回到座位上的时候,我都快要呕出来了。—点不假。接着,等到下一幕戏演完的时候,他们之继续了他们那令人厌烦的混帐谈话,他们不断想出更多的地方,说出住在那地方的更多人的名字。最糟糕的是,那傻瓜蛋有那种假极了的名牌大学声音,就是那种换其疲倦、极其势利的声音。那声音听去简直象个女人。他竟毫不犹豫地来夹三,那杂种。戏演完后,我一时还以为他要坐进混帐的出租汽车跟我们一起走呢,因为他都跟着我们穿过了约莫两条街,不过他还得跟一嘟噜伪君子碰头喝鸡尾酒去,他说。我都想象得出他们怎样全都坐在一个酒吧里,穿着格子衬衫,用那种疲倦的、势利的声音批评着戏、书和女人。他们真让我差点儿笑死,那班家伙。
I sort of hated old Sally by the time we got in the cab, after listening to that phony Andover bastard for about ten hours. I was all set to take her home and all--I really was--but she said, "I have a marvelous idea!" She was always having a marvelous idea. "Listen," she said. "What time do you have to be home for dinner? I mean are you in a terrible hurry or anything? Do you have to be home any special time?"
我听那个假模假式的安多佛杂种讲了约莫十个钟头的话,最后跟老萨丽一块儿坐进出租汽车的时候,简直恨死她了。我已准备好要送她回家——我的确准备好了——可是她说:“我想起了个妙极了的主意!”她老是想起什么妙极了的主意。“听着,”她说。“你得什么时候回家吃晚饭?我是说你是不是急于回家?你是不是得限定时间回家?”
"Me? No. No special time," I said. Truer word was never spoken, boy. "Why?"
“我?不。不限定时间,”我说,这话真是再老实也没有了,嘿。“干吗?”
"Let's go ice-skating at Radio City!"
“咱们到无线电城冰场溜冰去吧!”
That's the kind of ideas she always had.
她出的总是这一类的主意。
"Ice-skating at Radio City? You mean right now?"
“到无线电城冰场上去溜冰?你是说马上就去?”
"Just for an hour or so. Don't you want to? If you don't want to--"
“去溜那么个把钟头。你想不想去?你要是不想去的话——”
"I didn't say I didn't want to," I said. "Sure. If you want to."
“我没说我不想去,”我说。“我当然去。要是你想去的话。”
"Do you mean it? Don't just say it if you don't mean it. I mean I don't give a darn, one way or the other."
“你真是这个意思吗?要不是这个意思就别这么说。我是说去也好不去也好,我都无所谓。”
Not much she didn't.
她会无所谓才怪哩。
"You can rent those darling little skating skirts," old Sally said. "Jeannette Cultz did it last week."
“你可以租到那种可爱的小溜冰裙,”老萨丽说。“琴妮特·古尔兹上星期就租了一条。”
That's why she was so hot to go. She wanted to see herself in one of those little skirts that just come down over their butt and all.
这就是她急于要去溜冰的原因。她想看看自己穿着那种只遮住屁股的短裙时的样子。
So we went, and after they gave us our skates, they gave Sally this little blue butt-twitcher of a dress to wear. She really did look damn good in it, though. I save to admit it. And don't think she didn't know it. The kept walking ahead of me, so that I'd see how cute her little ass looked. It did look pretty cute, too. I have to admit it.
我们于是去了,他们给了我们冰鞋以后,还给了萨丽一条只遮住屁股的蓝色短裙。她穿上以后,倒是真他妈的好看。我得承认这一点。你也别以为她自己不知道。她老是走在我前头,好让我看看她的小屁股有多漂亮。那屁股看去也的确漂亮。我得承认这一点。
The funny part was, though, we were the worst skaters on the whole goddam rink. I mean the worst. And there were some lulus, too. Old Sally's ankles kept bending in till they were practically on the ice. They not only looked stupid as hell, but they probably hurt like hell, too. I know mine did. Mine were killing me. We must've looked gorgeous. And what made it worse, there were at least a couple of hundred rubbernecks that didn't have anything better to do than stand around and watch everybody falling all over themselves.
可是好笑的是,整个混帐冰场上就数我们两个溜得最糟。我是说最槽。而冰场上也有几个溜得真正棒的。老萨丽的脚脖子一个劲儿往里弯,差点儿都碰到了冰上。这不仅看上去难看得要命,恐怕也疼得要命。我自己很有这个体会。我的脚脖子疼得都要了我的命。我们的样子大概很值得一看。更糟糕的是,至少有那么一两百人没事可做,都站在那儿伸长了脖子看热闹,看每个人摔倒了又爬起来。
"Do you want to get a table inside and have a drink or something?" I said to her finally.
“你想不想进去找张桌子,喝点儿什么?”我最后对她说。
"That's the most marvelous idea you've had all day," the said. She was killing herself. It was brutal. I really felt sorry for her.
“你今天一天就是这个主意想得最妙,”她说。她简直是在跟自己拼命。真是太残忍了。我倒真有点儿替她难受。
We took off our goddam skates and went inside this bar where you can get drinks and watch the skaters in just your stocking feet. As soon as we sat down, old Sally took off her gloves, and I gave her a cigarette. She wasn't looking too happy. The waiter came up, and I ordered a Coke for her--she didn't drink--and a Scotch and soda for myself, but the sonuvabitch wouldn't bring me one, so I had a Coke, too. Then I sort of started lighting matches. I do that quite a lot when I'm in a certain mood. I sort of let them burn down till I can't hold them any more, then I drop them in the ashtray. It's a nervous habit.
我们脱下了我们的混帐冰鞋,进了那家酒吧,你可以光穿着袜子在里面喝点儿什么,看别人溜冰。我们刚一坐下,老萨丽就脱下了她的手套,我就送给她一支烟。看她的样子并不快活。侍者过来了,我给她要了杯可口可乐——她不喝酒——给我自己要了杯威士忌和苏打水,可那婊子养的不肯卖酒给我,所以我也只好要了杯可口可乐。接着我开始划起火柴来。我在某种心情下老爱玩这个。我让火柴一直烧到手握不住为止,随后扔进了烟灰缸。这是种神经质的习惯。
Then all of a sudden, out of a clear blue sky, old Sally said, "Look. I have to know. Are you or aren't you coming over to help me trim the tree Christmas Eve? I have to know." She was still being snotty on account of her ankles when she was skating.
一霎时,在光天化日之下,老萨丽竟说:“瞧。我得知道一下。在圣诞前夕你到底来不来我家帮我修剪圣诞树?我得知道一下。”她大概是溜冰的时候弄疼了脚脖子,那股子气还没消下去。
"I wrote you I would. You've asked me that about twenty times. Sure, I am."
“我已经写信告诉你说我要来。你问过我总有二十遍了。我当然来。”
"I mean I have to know," she said. She started looking all around the goddam room.
“我意思是我得事先知道一下,”她说完,又开始在这个混帐房间里东张西望起来。
All of a sudden I quit lighting matches, and sort of leaned nearer to her over the table. I had quite a few topics on my mind. "Hey, Sally," I said.
一霎时,我停止划火柴,从桌上探过身去离她更近些。我脑子里倒有不少话题。“嗨,萨丽,”我说。
"What?" she said. She was looking at some girl on the other side of the room.
“什么?”她说。她正在看房间那头的一个姑娘。
"Did you ever get fed up?" I said. "I mean did you ever get scared that everything was going to go lousy unless you did something? I mean do you like school, and all that stuff?"
“你可曾觉得腻烦透顶?”我说。“我是说你可曾觉得心里打鼓,生怕一切事情会越来越糟,除非你做出什么办法来加以补救?我是说你喜不喜欢学校,以及所有这一类的玩艺儿?”
"It's a terrific bore."
“学校简直叫人腻烦透了。”
"I mean do you hate it? I know it's a terrific bore, but do you hate it, is what I mean."
“我是说你是不是痛恨它?我知道它腻烦透了,可你是不是痛恨它?我要问的是这个。”
"Well, I don't exactly hate it. You always have to--"
“呃,我倒说不上痛恨它。你总得——”
"Well, I hate it. Boy, do I hate it," I said. "But it isn't just that. It's everything. I hate living in New York and all. Taxicabs, and Madison Avenue buses, with the drivers and all always yelling at you to get out at the rear door, and being introduced to phony guys that call the Lunts angels, and going up and down in elevators when you just want to go outside, and guys fitting your pants all the time at Brooks, and people always--"
“呃,我可痛恨它。嘿,我才痛恨它哩,”我说。“不过不仅仅是学校。我痛恨一切。我痛恨住在纽约这地方。出租汽车,梅迪逊路上的公共汽车,那些司机什么的老是冲着你大声吆喝,要你打后门下车;还有被人介绍给一些假模假式的家伙,说什么伦特夫妇是天仙下凡;还有出门的时候得上上下下乘电梯;还有一天到晚得上布鲁克斯让人给你量裤子;还有人们老是——”
"Don't shout, please," old Sally said. Which was very funny, because I wasn't even shouting.
“别嚷嚷,劳驾啦,”老萨丽说。这话实在好笑,因为我根本没嚷。
"Take cars," I said. I said it in this very quiet voice. "Take most people, they're crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, and they're always talking about how many miles they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand-new car already they start thinking about trading it in for one that's even newer. I don't even like old cars. I mean they don't even interest me. I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake. A horse you can at least--"
“拿汽车说吧,”我说,说的时候声音极其平静。“拿绝大多数人说吧,他们都把汽车当宝贝看待。要是车上划了道痕迹,就心疼得要命;他们老是谈一加仑汽油可以行驶多少英里;要是他们已经有了一辆崭新的汽车,就马上想到怎样去换一辆更新的。我甚至都不喜欢汽车这玩艺儿。我是说我对汽车甚至都不感兴趣。我宁可买一匹混帐的马。马至少是动物,老天爷。对马你至少能——”
"I don't know what you're even talking about," old Sally said. "You jump from one--"
“我甚至都不知道你在说些什么,”老萨丽说。“你一会儿谈这,一会儿——”
"You know something?" I said. "You're probably the only reason I'm in New York right now, or anywhere. If you weren't around, I'd probably be someplace way the hell off. In the woods or some goddam place. You're the only reason I'm around, practically."
“你知不知道?”我说。“我这会儿还在纽约或是纽约附近,大概完全是为了你。要不是你在这儿,我大概不知道到他妈的什么地方去了。在山林里,或者在什么混帐地方。我这会儿还在这里,简直完全是为你。”
"You're sweet," she said. But you could tell she wanted me to change the damn subject.
“你真好,”她说。可你看得出她很希望换个混帐话题。
"You ought to go to a boys' school sometime. Try it sometime," I said. "It's full of phonies, and all you do is study so that you can learn enough to be smart enough to be able to buy a goddam Cadillac some day, and you have to keep making believe you give a damn if the football team loses, and all you do is talk about girls and liquor and sex all day, and everybody sticks together in these dirty little goddam cliques. The guys that are on the basketball team stick together, the Catholics stick together, the goddam intellectuals stick together, the guys that play bridge stick together. Even the guys that belong to the goddam Book-of-the-Month Club stick together. If you try to have a little intelligent--"
“你几时最好到男校去念书试试。你几时去试试,”我说。“里面全是些伪君子。要你干的就是读书,求学问,出人头地,以便将来可以买辆混帐凯迪拉克;遇到橄揽球队比赛输了的时候,你还得装出挺在乎的样子,你一天到晚干的,就是谈女人、酒和性;再说人人还在搞下流的小集团,打篮球的抱成一团,天主教徒抱成一团,那般混帐的书呆子抱成一团,打桥牌的抱成一团。连那些参加他妈的什么混帐读书会的家伙也抱成一团。你要是聪明点——”
"Now, listen," old Sally said. "Lots of boys get more out of school than that."
“嗳,听我说,”老萨丽说。“有不少小伙子在学校里学到更多的东西。”
"I agree! I agree they do, some of them! But that's all I get out of it. See? That's my point. That's exactly my goddam point," I said. "I don't get hardly anything out of anything. I'm in bad shape. I'm in lousy shape."
“我同意!我同意有些人学到更多的东西!可我就只能学到这一些。明白不?我说的就是他妈的这个意思,”我说。“我简直学什么都学不成。我不是什么好料。我是块朽木。”
"You certainly are."
“你当然是。”
Then, all of a sudden, I got this idea.
接着我突然想起了这么个主意。
"Look," I said. "Here's my idea. How would you like to get the hell out of here? Here's my idea. I know this guy down in Greenwich Village that we can borrow his car for a couple of weeks. He used to go to the same school I did and he still owes me ten bucks. What we could do is, tomorrow morning we could drive up to Massachusetts and Vermont, and all around there, see. It's beautiful as hell up there, It really is." I was getting excited as hell, the more I thought of it, and I sort of reached over and took old Sally's goddam hand. What a goddam fool I was. "No kidding," I said. "I have about a hundred and eighty bucks in the bank. I can take it out when it opens in the morning, and then I could go down and get this guy's car. No kidding. We'll stay in these cabin camps and stuff like that till the dough runs out. Then, when the dough runs out, I could get a job somewhere and we could live somewhere with a brook and all and, later on, we could get married or something.
“瞧,”我说。“我想起了这么个主意。我在格林威治村有个熟人,咱们可以借他的汽车用一两个星期。他过去跟我在一个学校念书,到现在还欠我十块钱没还。咱们可以在明天早上乘汽车到马萨诺塞和见蒙特兜一圈,你瞧。那儿的风景美丽极了。一点不假。”我越想越兴奋,不由得伸手过去,握住了老萨丽一只混账的手。我真是个混帐傻瓜蛋。“不开玩笑,”我说。“我约莫有一百八十块钱存在银行里。早晨银行一开门,我就可以把钱取出来,然后我就去向那家伙借汽车。不开玩笑。咱们可以住在林中小屋里,直到咱们的钱用完为止。等到钱用完了,我可以在哪儿找个工作做,咱们可以在溪边什么地方住着。过些日子咱们还可以结婚。
I could chop all our own wood in the wintertime and all. Honest to God, we could have a terrific time! Wuddaya say? C'mon! Wuddaya say? Will you do it with me? Please!"
到冬天我可以亲自出去打柴。老天爷,我们能过多美好的生活!你看呢?说吧!你看呢?你愿不愿意跟我一块儿去?劳驾啦!”
"You can't just do something like that," old Sally said. She sounded sore as hell.
“你怎么可以干这样的事呢,”老萨丽说,听她的口气,真好象憋着一肚子气。
"Why not? Why the hell not?"
“干吗不可以?他妈的干吗不可以?”
"Stop screaming at me, please," she said. Which was crap, because I wasn't even screaming at her.
“别冲着我吆喝,劳驾啦,”她说。她这当然是胡说八道,因为我压根儿没冲着她呦喝。
"Why can'tcha? Why not?"
“你说干吗不可以?干吗不?”
"Because you can't, that's all. In the first place, we're both practically children. And did you ever stop to think what you'd do if you didn't get a job when your money ran out? We'd starve to death. The whole thing's so fantastic, it isn't even--"
“因为你不可以,就是这么回事。第一,咱们两个简直还都是孩子。再说,你可曾想过,万一你把钱花光了,可又找不到工作,那时你怎么办?咱们都会话话饿死。这简直是异想天开,连一点——”
"It isn't fantastic. I'd get a job. Don't worry about that. You don't have to worry about that. What's the matter? Don't you want to go with me? Say so, if you don't."
“一点不是异想天开,我能找到工作。别为这担心。你不必为这担心。怎么啦?你是不是不愿意跟我一块儿去?要是不愿意去,就说出来好了。”
"It isn't that. It isn't that at all," old Sally said. I was beginning to hate her, in a way. "We'll have oodles of time to do those things--all those things. I mean after you go to college and all, and if we should get married and all. There'll be oodles of marvelous places to go to. You're just--"
“不是愿意不愿意的问题。完全不是这个问题,”老萨丽说。我开始有点儿恨她了,嗯。“咱们有的是时间干这一类事——所有这一类事。我是说在你进大学以后,以及咱俩真打算结婚的话。咱们有的是好地方可以去。你还只是——”
"No, there wouldn't be. There wouldn't be oodles of places to go to at all. It'd be entirely different," I said. I was getting depressed as hell again.
“不,不会的。不会有那么多地方可以去。到那时候情况就完全不一样啦,”我说。我心里又沮丧得要命了。
"What?" she said. "I can't hear you. One minute you scream at me, and the next you--"
“什么?”她说。“我听不清你的话。一会儿你朝着我吆喝,一会儿又——”
"I said no, there wouldn't be marvelous places to go to after I went to college and all. Open your ears. It'd be entirely different. We'd have to go downstairs in elevators with suitcases and stuff. We'd have to phone up everybody and tell 'em good-by and send 'em postcards from hotels and all. And I'd be working in some office, making a lot of dough, and riding to work in cabs and Madison Avenue buses, and reading newspapers, and playing bridge all the time, and going to the movies and seeing a lot of stupid shorts and coming attractions and newsreels. Newsreels. Christ almighty. There's always a dumb horse race, and some dame breaking a bottle over a ship, and some chimpanzee riding a goddam bicycle with pants on. It wouldn't be the same at all. You don't see what I mean at all."
“我说不,在我进大学以后,就不会有什么好地方可以去了。你仔细听着。到那时候情况就完全不一样啦。我们得拿着手提箱之类的玩艺儿乘电梯下楼。我们得打电话给每个人,跟他们道别,还得从旅馆里寄明信片给他们。我得去坐办公室,挣许许多多钱,乘出租汽车或者梅迪逊路上的公共汽车去上班,看报纸,天天打桥牌,上电影院,看许许多多混帐的短片、广告和新闻片。新闻片,我的老天爷。老是什么混帐的赛马啦,哪个太太小姐给一健船行下水礼啦,还有一只黑猩猩穿着裤子骑混帐的自行车啦。到那时候情况就根本不会一样了。你只是一点不明白我的意思。”
"Maybe I don't! Maybe you don't, either," old Sally said. We both hated each other's guts by that time. You could see there wasn't any sense trying to have an intelligent conversation. I was sorry as hell I'd started it.
“也许我不明白!也许你自己也不明白,”老萨丽说。这时我们都成了冤家对头啦。你看得出跟她好好谈会儿心简直是浪费时间。我真他妈的懊悔自己不该跟她谈起心来。
"C'mon, let's get outa here," I said. "You give me a royal pain in the ass, if you want to know the truth."
“喂,咱们走吧,”我说。“你真是讨人厌极了,我老实告诉你说。”
Boy, did she hit the ceiling when I said that. I know I shouldn't've said it, and I probably wouldn't've ordinarily, but she was depressing the hell out of me. Usually I never say crude things like that to girls. Boy, did she hit the ceiling. I apologized like a madman, but she wouldn't accept my apology.
嘿,我一说这话,她蹦得都碰着屋顶了。我知道我本不应该说这话,换了平常时候我大概也不会说这话,可当时她实在惹得我心里烦极了。平常我从来不跟姑娘们说这种粗话。嘿,她真蹦得碰着屋顶了。我象疯子似的直向她道歉,可她不肯接受。
She was even crying. Which scared me a little bit, because I was a little afraid she'd go home and tell her father I called her a pain in the ass.
她甚至都气得哭了。我见了倒是有点儿害怕,因为我有点儿怕她回家告诉她父亲,说我骂她讨人厌。
Her father was one of those big silent bastards, and he wasn't too crazy about me anyhow. He once told old Sally I was too goddam noisy.
她父亲是那种沉默寡言的大杂种,对我可没什么好感。他曾经告诉老萨丽说我有点儿他妈的太胡闹。
"No kidding. I'm sorry," I kept telling her.
“我不骗你。我很抱歉,”我不住地对她说。
"You're sorry. You're sorry. That's very funny," she said.
“你很抱歉。你很抱歉。真是笑话,”她说。
She was still sort of crying, and all of a sudden I did feel sort of sorry I'd said it.
她还在那儿哭,一时间我真有点儿懊悔自己不该跟她说这话。
"C'mon, I'll take ya home. No kidding."
“喂,我送你回家吧。不骗你。”
"I can go home by myself, thank you. If you think I'd let you take me home, you're mad. No boy ever said that to me in my entire life."
“我可以自己回家,谢谢你。你要是以为我会让你送我回家,那你准是疯啦。我活到这么大,从来没有一个男人跟我说过这样的话。”
The whole thing was sort of funny, in a way, if you thought about it, and all of a sudden I did something I shouldn't have. I laughed. And I have one of these very loud, stupid laughs. I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or something, I'd probably lean over and tell myself to please shut up. It made old Sally madder than ever.
你要是仔细想来,就会觉得整个事情确实很好笑,所以我突然做了桩我很不应该做的事情。我放声大笑起来,我的笑声又响又傻。我是说我要是坐在自己背后看电影什么的,我大概会弯过腰去跟我自己说,请劳驾别笑啦。我这一笑,可更把老萨丽气疯啦。
I stuck around for a while, apologizing and trying to get her to excuse me, but she wouldn't. She kept telling me to go away and leave her alone. So finally I did it. I went inside and got my shoes and stuff, and left without her. I shouldn't've, but I was pretty goddam fed up by that time.
我逗留了一会儿,一个劲儿向她道歉,请她原谅我,可她不肯。她口口声声叫我走开,别打扰她。所以我最后也就照着她的话做了。我进去取出我的鞋子和别的东西,就离开她独自走了。我本来不应该这样做的,可我当时对一切的一切实在他妈的厌倦透了。
If you want to know the truth, I don't even know why I started all that stuff with her. I mean about going away somewhere, to Massachusetts and Vermont and all. I probably wouldn't've taken her even if she'd wanted to go with me. She wouldn't have been anybody to go with. The terrible part, though, is that I meant it when I asked her. That's the terrible part. I swear to God I'm a madman.
你如果要我说老实话,那我可以告诉你说我甚至都不知道我为什么要跟她来这一套。我是说一块儿到马萨诺塞和凡蒙特去什么的。即便她答应同我去,我大概也不会带她去。她不是那种值得带着去的人。不过可怕的是,我要求带她去的时候却真有这个意思。就是这一点可怕。我可以对天发誓我真是个疯子。