7
第07节
A tiny bit of light came through the shower curtains and all from our room, and I could see him lying in bed. I knew damn well he was wide awake. "Ackley?" I said. "Y'awake?"
有一缕微光从我们房里透过淋浴室门帘照进来，我看得见他正躺在床上。我也他妈的完全知道他压根儿醒着。“阿克莱？”我说。“你醒着？”
"Yeah."
“不错。”
It was pretty dark, and I stepped on somebody's shoe on the floor and danm near fell on my head. Ackley sort of sat up in bed and leaned on his arm. He had a lot of white stuff on his face, for his pimples. He looked sort of spooky in the dark.
房间里太暗，我一脚踩在地板上不知谁的鞋上，险些儿他妈的摔了个跟头。阿克莱在床上坐起来，斜倚在一只胳膊上。他脸上涂了不少白色玩艺儿，治他的粉刺。在黑暗中看去他有几分像鬼。
What the hellya doing, anyway? I said.
“你他妈的在干什么，嗯？”我问。
"Wuddaya mean what the hell am I doing? I was tryna sleep before you guys started making all that noise. What the hell was the fight about, anyhow?"
“你问我他妈的在干什么是什么意思？我正要睡觉，就听见你们这两个家伙吵起来了。你们他妈的到底为了什么打起架来？”
"Where's the light?" I couldn't find the light. I was sliding my hand all over the wall.
“灯在哪儿？”我找不到灯。我伸手往墙上乱摸一气。
"Wuddaya want the light for? . . . Right next to your hand."
“你开灯干什么？……就在你手旁边。”
I finally found the switch and turned It on. Old Ackley put his hand up so the light wouldn't hurt his eyes.
我终于找到了开关，开亮了灯。老阿克莱举起一只手来遮住眼睛。
"Jesus!" he said. "What the hell happened to you?" He meant all the blood and all.
“老天爷！”他说。“你这是怎么啦？”他说的是我全身血污。
"I had a little goddam tiff with Stradlater," I said. Then I sat down on the floor. They never had any chairs in their room. I don't know what the hell they did with their chairs. "Listen," I said, "do you feel like playing a little Canasta?" He was a Canasta fiend.
“我跟斯特拉德莱塔之间发生一点他妈的小小争执，”我说着，就在地板上坐下来。他们房里一向没有椅子。我不知道他们他妈的把那些椅子都弄到哪儿去了。“听着，”我说，“你愿意跟我玩一会儿卡纳斯塔吗？”他是个卡纳斯塔迷。
"You're still bleeding, for Chrissake. You better put something on it."
“你还在流血呢，天哪。你最好上点儿药。”
"It'll stop. Listen. Ya wanna play a little Canasta or don'tcha?"
“过一会儿就会止住的。听着。你到底跟不跟我玩卡纳斯塔？”
"Canasta, for Chrissake. Do you know what time it is, by any chance?"
“卡纳斯塔，老天爷。我问你，现在几点钟啦？”
"It isn't late. It's only around eleven, eleven-thirty."
“不晚。还只十一点多，十一点三十。”
"Only around!" Ackley said. "Listen. I gotta get up and go to Mass in the morning, for Chrissake. You guys start hollering and fighting in the middle of the goddam--What the hell was the fight about, anyhow?"
“还只十一点多！”阿克莱说，“听着。我明天早晨还要去望弥撒哩，老天爷。你们这两个家伙又打又闹，就在他妈的半——你们他妈的到底为什么打架？”
"It's a long story. I don't wanna bore ya, Ackley. I'm thinking of your welfare," I told him. I never discussed my personal life with him. In the first place, he was even more stupid than Stradlater. Stradlater was a goddam genius next to Ackley. "Hey," I said, "is it okay if I sleep in Ely's bed tonight? He won't be back till tomorrow night, will he?" I knew damn well he wouldn't. Ely went home damn near every week end.
“说来话长，我不想让你听了腻烦，阿克莱。我这完全是为你着想，”我跟他说。我从来不跟他讨论我个人的私事。首先，他甚至比斯特拉德莱塔还要愚蠢。跟阿克莱相比，斯特拉德莱塔简直是个他妈的天才了。“嗨，”我说，“我今天晚上睡在爱利的床上成不成？他要到明天晚上才回来，是不是？”我他妈的完全知道他要到明天晚上才回来。他几乎每个周末都回家去。
"I don't know when the hell he's coming back," Ackley said.
“我不知道他会在他妈的什么时候回来，”阿克莱说。
Boy, did that annoy me. "What the hell do you mean you don't know when he's coming back? He never comes back till Sunday night, does he?"
嘿，这话真叫我生气。“你不知道他在什么时候回来，你他妈的这话是什么意思？他一向是在星期天晚上才回来，是不是？”
"No, but for Chrissake, I can't just tell somebody they can sleep in his goddam bed if they want to."
“是的，可是老天爷，我实在没法让别人随便睡他的床，要是有人想睡的话。”
That killed me. I reached up from where I was sitting on the floor and patted him on the goddam shoulder. "You're a prince, Ackley kid," I said. "You know that?"
我听了差点儿笑痛肚皮。我从坐着的地方举起子来，在他的混帐肩膀上拍了一下，“你真是个王子，阿克莱孩子，”我说，“你知道吗？”
"No, I mean it--I can't just tell somebody they can sleep in--"
“不，我说的是心里话——我实在没法让别人睡在——”
"You're a real prince. You're a gentleman and a scholar, kid," I said. He really was, too. "Do you happen to have any cigarettes, by any chance?--Say 'no' or I'll drop dead."
“你的确是个王子。你是个绅士，也是个学者，孩子，”我说。他倒是个绅士学者呢。“我问你，你还有香烟没有？——说声‘没有’，我非立刻倒在地上死去不可。”
"No, I don't, as a matter of fact. Listen, what the hell was the fight about?"
“不，没有，真的没有。听着，你们他妈的到底为什么事打架？”
I didn't answer him. All I did was, I got up and went over and looked out the window. I felt so lonesome, all of a sudden. I almost wished I was dead.
我没回答他。我只是起身走到窗口往外眺望。一霎时，我觉得寂寞极了。我简直希望自己已经死了。
"What the hell was the fight about, anyhow?" Ackley said, for about the fiftieth time. He certainly was a bore about that.
“你们他妈的到底为什么事打架，嗯？”阿克莱说，大概是第五十次了。这方面，他确实叫人腻烦透了。
"About you," I said.
“为了你，”我说。
"About me, for Chrissake?"
“为了我，老天爷？”
"Yeah. I was defending your goddam honor. Stradlater said you had a lousy personality. I couldn't let him get away with that stuff."
“不错。我是在保护你的混帐荣誉。斯特拉德莱塔说你为人下流。我听了这话能放他过去吗？”
That got him excited. "He did? No kidding? He did?"
这话使他兴奋起来。“他真的说了？不开玩笑？他真的说了？”
I told him I was only kidding, and then I went over and laid down on Ely's bed. Boy, did I feel rotten. I felt so damn lonesome.
我对他说我不过是开开玩笑，接着就过去在爱利的床上躺下。嘿，我真是苦闷极了。我觉得寂寞得要命。
"This room stinks," I said. "I can smell your socks from way over here. Don'tcha ever send them to the laundry?"
“这房间臭极了，”我说。“我在这儿都闻得出你袜子的味儿。你的袜子是不是从来不洗？”
"If you don't like it, you know what you can do," Ackley said. What a witty guy. "How 'bout turning off the goddam light?"
“你要是不喜欢这气味，你知道你可以怎么办，”阿克莱说。说的多妙。“把混帐的灯关掉好不好？”
I didn't turn it off right away, though. I just kept laying there on Ely's bed, thinking about Jane and all. It just drove me stark staring mad when I thought about her and Stradlater parked somewhere in that fat-assed Ed Banky's car. Every time I thought about it, I felt like jumping out the window. The thing is, you didn't know Stradlater. I knew him. Most guys at Pencey just talked about having sexual intercourse with girls all the time--like Ackley, for instance--but old Stradlater really did it. I was personally acquainted with at least two girls he gave the time to. That's the truth.
我可没马上关灯。我只顾在爱利的床上躺着，想着琴的事。我一想到她和斯特拉德莱塔两个同坐在埃德·班基的那辆大屁股汽车里鬼混，不由得心里直冒火，气得真要发疯。我只要一想起这事，就想从窗口跳出去。问题是，你不知道斯特拉德莱塔的为人。我可知道。潘西有许多家伙只不过老在嘴里说着怎样跟女孩子发生暖昧关系——象阿克莱那样，举例说——可老斯特拉德莱塔却是真的干。我自己就至少认识两个跟他发生过关系的姑娘。这是实话。
"Tell me the story of your fascinating life, Ackley kid," I said.
“把你一生中有趣的事情讲给我听听吧，阿克莱孩子，”我说。
"How 'bout turning off the goddam light? I gotta get up for Mass in the morning."
“把混帐的灯关掉好不好？我明天早起还要望弥撒哩。”
I got up and turned it off, if it made him happy. Then I laid down on Ely's bed again.
我起来把灯关了，好让他高兴。接着我又躺到爱利的床上。
"What're ya gonna do--sleep in Ely's bed?" Ackley said. He was the perfect host, boy.
“你打算干吗——睡在爱利的床上吗？”阿克莱说。他真是个顶呱呱的好主人，嘿。
"I may. I may not. Don't worry about it."
“我也许睡，也许不睡，别为这件事担心。”
"I'm not worried about it. Only, I'd hate like hell if Ely came in all of a sudden and found some guy--"
“我并不为这件事担心。只是我最痛恨这一类事，万一爱利突然回来，看见有人——”
"Relax. I'm not gonna sleep here. I wouldn't abuse your goddam hospitality."
“请放心。我不会睡在这儿的。我不会辜负你他妈的这番殷勤招待。”
A couple of minutes later, he was snoring like mad.
一两分钟以后，他就象个疯子似的打起鼾来。
I kept laying there in the dark anyway, though, trying not to think about old Jane and Stradlater in that goddam Ed Banky's car. But it was almost impossible. The trouble was, I knew that guy Stradlater's technique. That made it even worse. We once double-dated, in Ed Banky's car, and Stradlater was in the back, with his date, and I was in the front with mine. What a technique that guy had. What he'd do was, he'd start snowing his date in this very quiet, sincere voice--like as if he wasn't only a very handsome guy but a nice, sincere guy, too. I damn near puked, listening to him. His date kept saying, "No--please. Please, don't. Please." But old Stradlater kept snowing her in this Abraham Lincoln, sincere voice, and finally there'd be this terrific silence in the back of the car. It was really embarrassing. I don't think he gave that girl the time that night--but damn near. Damn near.
我仍旧躺在黑暗中，竭力不让自己去想琴和斯特拉德莱塔一同在埃德·班基那辆混帐汽车里的事，可那简直办不到。糟糕的是，我熟悉斯特拉德莱塔这家伙的花招。这就叫我心里越发受不了。有一次我们俩一块儿跟女朋友约会，在埃德·班基的汽车里，斯特拉德莱塔跟他的女朋友在后座，我跟我的女朋友在前座。瞧这家伙的花招。他开始用一种极其温柔、极其诚恳的声音跟他的女朋友甜言蜜语——好象他不仅是个非常漂亮的小伙子，而且也是个挺好、挺诚恳的小伙子。我听着他说话，差点儿都呕出来了。他的女朋友不住地说：“别——劳驾啦。别这样。劳驾啦。”可老斯特拉德莱塔始终用他那种亚伯莱罕姆·林肯般的诚恳声音跟她甜言蜜语，到最后那后座上只是一片可怕的寂静。那情况可真恼人。我想那天晚上他还不至于跟那姑娘干那事儿——不过也他妈的相差不远了。真他妈的相差不远了。
While I was laying there trying not to think, I heard old Stradlater come back from the can and go in our room. You could hear him putting away his crumby toilet articles and all, and opening the window. He was a fresh-air fiend. Then, a little while later, he turned off the light. He didn't even look around to see where I was at.
我正躺在床上竭力不让自己胡思乱想，忽听得老斯特拉德莱塔从盥洗室回到了我们的房间。你可以听到他正在安放他那套肮脏的梳妆用具，随即打开窗子。他是个新鲜空气迷。后来过了一会儿，他关了灯。他甚至不看看我在什么地方。
It was even depressing out in the street. You couldn't even hear any cars any more. I got feeling so lonesome and rotten, I even felt like waking Ackley up.
连外面街上都是一片死寂。你甚至听不到汽车声。我觉得那么寂寞、那么苦闷，甚至不由得叫醒阿克莱。
"Hey, Ackley," I said, in sort of a whisper, so Stradlater couldn't hear me through the shower curtain.
“嗨，阿克莱，”我说，声音压得很低，不让斯特拉德莱塔通过琳浴室门帘听见。
Ackley didn't hear me, though.
可阿克莱没听见我叫他。
"Hey, Ackley!"
“嗨，阿克莱！”
He still didn't hear me. He slept like a rock.
他依旧没听见。他睡得象块石头。
"Hey, Ackley!"
“嗨，阿克莱！”
He heard that, all right.
这一声他倒是听见了。
"What the hell's the matter with you?" he said. "I was asleep, for Chrissake."
“你他妈的怎么啦？”他说。“我都睡着啦，老天爷！”
"Listen. What's the routine on joining a monastery?" I asked him. I was sort of toying with the idea of joining one. "Do you have to be a Catholic and all?"
“听着。进寺院有什么条件？”我问他。我忽然起了进寺院的念头。“是不是非当天主教徒不可？”
"Certainly you have to be a Catholic. You bastard, did you wake me just to ask me a dumb ques--"
“当然得先当天主教徒。你这杂种，你叫醒我难道就是为了问我这种混帐的问——”
"Aah, go back to sleep. I'm not gonna join one anyway. The kind of luck I have, I'd probably join one with all the wrong kind of monks in it. All stupid bastards. Or just bastards."
“啊，睡你的觉吧，我反正不会进寺院的。象我这样的运气，进去以后，大概遇到的僧侣全不会对头。全都是傻杂种。或者光是杂种。”
When I said that, old Ackley sat way the hell up in bed. "Listen," he said, "I don't care what you say about me or anything, but if you start making cracks about my goddam religion, for Chrissake--"
我一说这话，老阿克莱就他妈的一下子在床上坐了起来。“听着，”他说，“我不在乎你说我什么，或者关于别的什么，可你要是拿我他妈的宗教取笑，老天爷——”
"Relax," I said. "Nobody's making any cracks about your goddam religion." I got up off Ely's bed, and started towards the door. I didn't want to hang around in that stupid atmosphere any more. I stopped on the way, though, and picked up Ackley's hand, and gave him a big, phony handshake. He pulled it away from me. "What's the idea?" he said.
“请放心，”我说。“谁也不会拿你他妈的宗教取笑。”我从爱利的床上起来，向门边走去，我不想再在那种混帐气氛里逗留了。可我在半路上停住脚步，抓起阿克莱的手，装腔作势地跟他大握特握。他抽回手去。“这是什么意思？”他说。
"No idea. I just want to thank you for being such a goddam prince, that's all," I said. I said it in this very sincere voice. "You're aces, Ackley kid," I said. "You know that?"
“没什么意思。你是那么个混帐的王子，我只是想向你表示谢意，就是这么回事，”我说。说的时候声音还极其诚恳。“你是个了不起的人物，阿克莱孩子，”我说。“你知道吗？”
"Wise guy. Someday somebody's gonna bash your--"
“乖孩子。总有一天会有人揍得你——”
I didn't even bother to listen to him. I shut the damn door and went out in the corridor.
我甚至没心思听他说完。我关上了那混账的门，走进了廊子。
Everybody was asleep or out or home for the week end, and it was very, very quiet and depressing in the corridor. There was this empty box of Kolynos toothpaste outside Leahy and Hoffman's door, and while I walked down towards the stairs, I kept giving it a boot with this sheep-lined slipper I had on. What I thought I'd do, I thought I might go down and see what old Mal Brossard was doing. But all of a sudden, I changed my mind. All of a sudden, I decided what I'd really do, I'd get the hell out of Pencey--right that same night and all. I mean not wait till Wednesday or anything. I just didn't want to hang around any more. It made me too sad and lonesome. So what I decided to do, I decided I'd take a room in a hotel in New York--some very inexpensive hotel and all--and just take it easy till Wednesday. Then, on Wednesday, I'd go home all rested up and feeling swell. I figured my parents probably wouldn't get old Thurmer's letter saying I'd been given the ax till maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. I didn't want to go home or anything till they got it and thoroughly digested it and all. I didn't want to be around when they first got it. My mother gets very hysterical. She's not too bad after she gets something thoroughly digested, though. Besides, I sort of needed a little vacation. My nerves were shot. They really were.
宿舍里的人不是已经睡着，就是已经外出或者回家度周末了，所以走廊里十分、十分静，十分、十分寂寞。李希和霍夫曼的门外放着一只考里诺斯牙膏空盒，我一边往楼梯边走，一边用那只穿羊皮拖鞋的脚不住地踢那空盒。我本来想到楼下去看看老马尔·勃里萨德在干什么，可是刹那间我改变了主意。刹那间，我打定了主意怎么办，我要他妈的马上离开潘西——就在当天晚上。我是说不再等到星期三什么的。我实在不想在这儿呆下去了。我觉得太寂寞太苦闷，因此我打定主意，决计到纽约的旅馆里开一个房间——找一家最便宜的旅馆——一直逍遥到星期三。到了星期三，我休息够了，心情好转，就动身回家。我盘算我父母大概总要在星期二、三才会接到老绥摩的信，通知我被开除的事。我不愿早回家，我要等他们得到通知、对这事完全消化以后才回去。我不愿在他们刚接到通知时就在他们身边。我母亲非常歇斯底里。可是不管什么事她只要完全消化之后，倒也不难对付。再说，我也需要有个小小的假期。我的神经过于紧张了。确实过于紧张。
Anyway, that's what I decided I'd do. So I went back to the room and turned on the light, to start packing and all. I already had quite a few things packed. Old Stradlater didn't even wake up. I lit a cigarette and got all dressed and then I packed these two Gladstones I have. It only took me about two minutes. I'm a very rapid packer.
嗯，这就是我打定主意要做的。我于是回到屋里，开亮灯，开始收拾东西。有不少东西我都已收拾好了。老斯特拉德莱塔甚至都没醒来。我点了支香烟，穿好衣服，动手整理我的两只手提皮箱。我只花了两分钟。我收拾起东西来速度快得惊人。
One thing about packing depressed me a little. I had to pack these brand-new ice skates my mother had practically just sent me a couple of days before. That depressed me. I could see my mother going in Spaulding's and asking the salesman a million dopy questions--and here I was getting the ax again. It made me feel pretty sad.
收拾行李时，有一件事有点儿叫我难过。我得把我母亲刚在几天前寄给我的那双崭新的冰鞋装起来；这使我心里难过。我想象得出我母亲怎样到期保尔丁商店里，向售货员问了百万个傻里傻气的问题——可我这下又给开除了。这使我觉得很伤心。
She bought me the wrong kind of skates--I wanted racing skates and she bought hockey--but it made me sad anyway. Almost every time somebody gives me a present, it ends up making me sad.
她把冰鞋买错了——我要的是跑刀，她给我买了花样刀——可我照样觉得伤心。几几乎每次都是这样，每逢有人送我什么礼物，到头来都会让我觉得伤心。
After I got all packed, I sort of counted my dough. I don't remember exactly how much I had, but I was pretty loaded. My grandmother'd just sent me a wad about a week before. I have this grandmother that's quite lavish with her dough. She doesn't have all her marbles any more--she's old as hell--and she keeps sending me money for my birthday about four times a year. Anyway, even though I was pretty loaded, I figured I could always use a few extra bucks. You never know. So what I did was, I went down the hail and woke up Frederick Woodruff, this guy I'd lent my typewriter to. I asked him how much he'd give me for it. He was a pretty wealthy guy. He said he didn't know. He said he didn't much want to buy it. Finally he bought it, though. It cost about ninety bucks, and all he bought it for was twenty. He was sore because I'd woke him up.
我收拾停当以后，又数了数钱。我已记不起到底有多少钱，反正数目很不小。我祖母在约莫一个星期前刚给我汇来一笔钱。我的这个祖母使起钱来手头很阔。她已经老糊涂了——老得不能再老——一年内总要寄给我四次钱，作为生日礼物。可是，尽管我现有的钱数目已经不小，我还怕不够，生怕有什么不时之需。所以我走下楼去，喊醒了法莱德里克·伍德鲁夫，就是借我打字机的家伙。我问他肯出多少钱把我的打字机买下来。这家伙相当有钱，他说他不知道，还说他不怎么想买。可他最后还是买下来了。这架打字机约莫值九十块钱，可他只给我二十块就买下了。他很没好气，因为我叫醒了他。
When I was all set to go, when I had my bags and all, I stood for a while next to the stairs and took a last look down the goddam corridor. I was sort of crying. I don't know why. I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddam voice, "Sleep tight, ya morons!" I'll bet I woke up every bastard on the whole floor. Then I got the hell out. Some stupid guy had thrown peanut shells all over the stairs, and I damn near broke my crazy neck.
我拿了手提箱什么的准备动身，还在楼梯口站了一会儿，顺着那条混帐走廊望了最后一眼。不知怎的，我几乎哭了出来。我戴上我那顶红色猎人帽，照我喜欢的样子将鸭舌转到脑后，然后使出了我的全身力气大声喊道：“好好睡吧，你们这些窝囊废！”我敢打赌我把这一层楼的所有杂种全都喊醒了。随后我就离开了那地方，不知哪个混蛋在楼梯上扔了一地花生皮，我他妈的差点儿摔断了我的混帐脖子。