The Demon King's Cunning Causes the Mind-Ape Trouble
The Great Sage Wins the Treasures Through Improvisation
With the imitation gourd in their hands the two little devils were quarrelling over who should examine it when they looked up and saw that Monkey had disappeared. “Brother,” said Skilful Beast, “even immortals tell lies sometimes. He said that when we'd swapped the treasures he would make us into immortals. How come he's vanished without a word?”
“We got ourselves a very good bargain,” said Dexterous Ghost, “and he would not dare disappear. Pass the gourd over—I want to put the sky in it and try it out.” He tossed the gourd into the air, but it came crashing down again, to the distress of Skilful Beast, who asked, “Why won't it take in the sky? Could it be that it was Sun the Novice disguised as an immortal, and that he swapped an imitation gourd for our real one?”
“Nonsense,” said Dexterous Ghost. “Sun the Novice is crushed under those three mountains. How could he possibly have got out? Pass the gourd over. I'll say the words of the spell he made and we'll put the sky inside.” He too then threw the gourd up into the air, saying, “If there's so much as a hint of a refusal I'll be coming up to the Hall of Miraculous Mist to give battle.” The gourd hit the ground before he could even finish saying the spell.
“The sky hasn't gone in,” they both said, “it must surely be a fake.”
Up in the sky the Great Sage Sun Wukong could hear every word they said and see all that was happening while they made this commotion. For fear that they would go on too long and let the news out where it mattered he shook himself and put the hair that had been turned into a gourd back on his body, leaving both the little devils completely empty-handed.
“Give me the gourd, brother,” said Dexterous Ghost.
“You give it me,” said Skilful Beast. “Heavens! It's disappeared!”
They both started to search wildly on the ground and in the grass, putting their hands in their sleeves and in their tunics, but it was nowhere to be found.
“Whatever shall we do,” said the two horror-struck little devils, “whatever shall we do? His Supreme Majesty gave them to us to catch Sun the Novice with. Now we haven't caught him and the treasures have disappeared. We can't report this to him or he'll have us beaten to death. Whatever are we going to do?”
“Let's run away,” said Skilful Beast.
“Where to?” asked Dexterous Ghost.
“Anywhere,” said Skilful Beast, “because if we go back and say that we've lost the treasures that'll obviously be the end of us.”
“No,” said Dexterous Ghost, “don't let's run away. Let's go back. Both their majesties are usually very fond of you, and I'll put in a word for you. If they are prepared to make allowances they'll spare your life. Even if we can't talk them out of having us beaten to death, at least they'll do it there, and we won't be caught between two stools. Let's go back.” Having made their minds up the two little demons set out back to their own mountain.
Monkey, watching them heading back from where he was up in the sky, shook himself and turned into a fly that flew down and followed them. Where, you may wonder, did he put his treasures now that he was a fly? Had he left them on the path or hidden them in the grass someone might have found them and taken them, and all his efforts would have been for nothing. So he kept them on his person. But a fly is only the size of a bean: how could he find room for them? Because those two treasures of his, like his gold-banded cudgel, were As-You-Will Buddha treasures that grow or shrink with you. That was why he could keep them on. He went buzzing along after the devils. Before long he was inside the cave, where the two demon kings were sitting and drinking.
The two little devils went up to them and knelt down. Monkey perched on the doorframe, listening. “Your Majesties,” said the little devils.
“So you're back,” said the Junior Demon King, putting down his cup.
“Yes,” said the little devils.
“Have you got Sun the Novice?” was the next question. The two little devils banged their heads on the ground, not daring to reply. The old devils asked again, and still they dared not answer, but just kept banging their heads on the ground.
Only when they had been asked this several more times did they prostrate themselves and say, “Forgive us. We deserve to die a thousand times. Forgive us. We were taking the treasures into the mountains when we met an immortal from Mount Penglai. He asked us where we were going and we told him we were off to catch Sun the Novice. When the immortal heard about the Sun the Novice he said he was angry with him too, and wanted to come along and help. We never asked him to, but we told him all about how we were going to put Sun into the treasure. The immortal had a gourd too that the whole sky could be put into. Because we were greedy to do our family a good turn we swapped our man-holder for his sky-holder. At first we offered a gourd for a gourd, but then Skilful Beast threw the vase in for good measure. But his immortal's treasure was not for the mortal likes of us. We were trying it out when gourd and immortal both disappeared. We beg you to spare us the deaths we deserve.”
At this the Senior Demon King thundered, “Damn it, damn it. It was Sun the Novice disguised as an immortal to trick them out of you. That monkey has enormous magic powers and has knows people everywhere. What hairy little god let him out to con our treasures out of us?”
“Please calm yourself, brother,” said the Junior Demon King.
“That ape is the bloody limit. With all those powers it should have been enough for him to escape. Why did he have to trick us out of our treasures? If I don't have the powers to catch him then I'll never be a monster on the road West again.”
“How are you going to get him?” asked the Senior King.
“We had five treasures,” said the Junior King, “so even after losing two we have three left with which we can and must capture him.”
“What three treasures?” asked the Senior King.
“The Seven-star Sword and the Plantain Fan that I carry with me,” the Junior King replied, “and the Dazzling Golden Cord that's kept at our old mother's place in the Crushed Dragon Cave in Crushed Dragon Mountain. We should now send a couple of little devils to invite our mother to a meal of the Tang Priest's flesh and ask her to bring the Dazzling Golden Cord to catch Sun the Novice with.”
“Which ones should we send?” asked the Senior King.
“Not rubbish like those two,” replied the Junior King, who then shouted at Dexterous Ghost and Skilful Beast to get up.
“What luck,” they said. “We weren't beaten and we weren't sworn at—we've been let off.”
“Send for my regular attendants Mountain Tiger and Ocean Dragon,” ordered the Junior King. The two of them knelt before him while he gave them his instructions. “You must be very cautious.”
“We'll be cautious,” they replied.
“And careful.”
“We'll be careful,” they replied.
“Do you know the way to our mother's home?” he asked.
“We do,” they replied.
“In that case go as soon as you can. When you get to the old lady's place bow to her very respectfully, then invite her to a meal of the Tang Priest's flesh and ask her to bring the Dazzling Golden Cord with her to catch Sun the Novice.”
The two demons obediently hurried off, unaware that Monkey had heard every single word. He spread his wings and flew till he caught up with Mountain Tiger and settled on him. After about a mile he was going to kill the pair of them when he reflected, “Killing them would be no problem, but I don't know where the old lady keeps her Dazzling Golden Cord. I'd better question them before killing them.”
Splendid Monkey! He flew buzzing away from the two little devils and let them get a good hundred paces ahead. He then changed himself with a shake into another little devil with a fox-skin cap and a tigerskin kilt worn upside-down, who hurried after them and called, “Wait a moment, travelers.”
Ocean Dragon looked back and asked, “Where are you from?”
“My dear brother,” Monkey replied, “don't you even recognize members of your own household?”
“You're not one of us,” said the little devils.
“What do you mean?” said Monkey. “Take another look and see if you can recognize me.”
“You're a stranger,” they replied, “and we've never met.”
“That's right,” Monkey said, “you've never met me. I'm one of the outside staff.”
“Well then,” the little devils replied, “we would never have met you, sir. Where are you going?”
“His Majesty told me,” Monkey said, “that he'd sent you two gentlemen to invite the old lady to a meal of the Tang Priest's flesh. You were to ask her to bring the Dazzling Golden Cord along to catch Sun the Novice. He's worried that you two would dawdle and misbehave yourselves and mess things up, so he sent me along too to hurry you up.” As he knew all the details the two little devils were not at all suspicious: they believed that Monkey really was one of them. They rushed along in a great hurry for about three miles.
“This is too fast,” said Monkey. “How far have we gone?”
“About five miles,” said the little devils.
“And how much further is there to go?”
“Just to the black wood over there,” said Ocean Dragon, pointing it out. Monkey looked up to see a dark stretch of woodland not far away. The old demon must live somewhere nearby, he thought; so he stopped to let the little devils get ahead of him, pulled out his cudgel, rushed after them; and took a swipe at their legs. Unfortunately he hit them so hard that he turned the two little devils into mincemeat.
He hid himself deep in the undergrowth beside the path, pulled out one of his hairs, blew on it, said “Change!” and turned it into Mountain Tiger. He turned himself into Ocean Dragon. Then the two imitation devils headed for the Crushed Dragon Cave to deliver the invitation to the old lady. Indeed:
Great are the powers of the seventy-two transformations;
Greatest of all is the art of improvisation.
With four or five bounds both of him was in the wood. He searched until he saw a pair of stone doors standing ajar. Not daring to charge in, he shouted, “Open the doors.”
The little she-devil on the doors was so startled that she opened one of them wide. “Where are you from?” she asked.
“We've been sent from the Lotus Flower Cave on Flat-top Mountain with an invitation for the old lady,” said Monkey, and the little she-devil invited both of him in. When he reached the inner doors he peeped round them and saw an old woman sitting in the middle of the cave. Do you know what she looked like?
A map of snow white hair,
Star-shining bright.
A ruddy, wrinkled countenance,
Few teeth, and a majestic manner.
She looked like a chrysanthemum amid the frost,
With a face the color of old pine-trees after rain.
A white silk scarf was wrapped around her head,
And jewels studded her golden ear-rings.
When Sun the Great Sage saw her he did not go in, but covered his face with his hands and started to sob outside the inner doors. Do you know why he was crying? Could it be because he was afraid of her? But even if he had been afraid, crying would have been no use. Besides, he had tricked them out of their treasures and killed the little demons, so what did he have to cry about? He had never shed a single tear the time when he had been put inside nine cauldrons and deep-fried in oil for eight or nine days on end.
It was only the thought of the Tang Priest's suffering in his quest for the scriptures that upset him so badly that he wept as he reflected thus: “I've used my powers to turn into a little demon and come with an invitation for this she-devil. It wouldn't do for me to stay upright when I talk to her: I'll have to kowtow to her. In my life I've only kowtowed to three people: Lord Buddha in the Western Heaven, Bodhisattva Guanyin in the Southern Ocean, and the Master—I kowtowed to him four times when he delivered me from the Double Boundary Mountain, and for him I'd wear out the six blades of my lungs and liver and the three hairs and seven apertures of my heart. But is it really worth banging my head on the ground before this she-devil for a roll of scripture? If I don't, I'll give the game away. This is terrible. I suppose it's only because the master is in trouble that I'll humiliate myself like this.” As he had no choice he rushed in, knelt down, and announced that he was kowtowing to the old lady.
“Get up, my child,” said the she-devil. Monkey was delighted that his announcement had worked. “Where are you from?” the old devil asked.
“I have been sent at the command of the two kings of the Lotus Flower Cave in Flat-top Mountain to invite you, Ma'am, to a meal of the Tang Priest's flesh. They also ask you to bring your Dazzling Golden Cord to capture Sun the Novice with.” The old devil was very pleased indeed.
“What good, dutiful boys,” she said, sending for her carrying-chair.
“Good lord,” said Monkey to himself, “fancy a demon being carried in a chair.” Two she-devils came up from behind with a chair made of fragrant rattan. They set it down outside the doors, then lifted the green gauze curtain. The old devil left the cave and got into the chair. Some young she-devils followed her with comb-boxes, mirrors and stands, towels and a scent box.
“What are all you here for? I'm going to visit my own sons, and there'll be no shortage of people to look after me there. I won't need you lot to fuss over me and natter. Go back in, shut the doors, and look after the place.” All the little demons apart from the two chair-porters did indeed go back in. “What are you two messengers called?” asked the old she-devil.
“He's called Mountain Tiger,” Monkey quickly replied, “and I'm Ocean Dragon.”
“You two take the lead and clear the way for me,” said the old she-devil.
“Stinking luck,” thought Monkey. “No scriptures yet, on top of which I've got to be her slave.” As there could be no question of refusing he had to lead the way, chanting loudly, “Lift the chair!”
When he had covered a couple of miles or thereabouts he sat down on the edge of a precipice. When the chair-porters caught him up he suggested, “What about a little rest? Your shoulders must be aching under the weight.” Not realizing that this was a trick the little devils put the chair down. Standing behind it Monkey pulled a hair from his chest and turned it into a sesame bun that he ate as he held it.
“What are you eating, sir?” the chair-porters asked.
“It's a bit awkward to explain,” replied Monkey. “We came a very long way to invite Her Highness, but as I've been given no food I'm hungry. When I've eaten some of these dry rations I brought with me we can be on our way.”
“Give us a bit,” the porters pleaded.
“Come over here, then,” said Monkey. “There's no need to be too careful within the family.”
Unaware of what was up, the little devils crowded round Monkey for a share of his dry rations, whereupon he produced his cudgel. The one he hit on the head was smashed to pulp when trying to ward the blow off; the other, who was only grazed, survived to groan aloud. Hearing these groans the old demon poked her head out from the chair to take a look. Monkey leapt round to the front of the chair and brought his cudgel down on her head, denting her skull and making blood and brains spurt out. Dragging her out of the chair for a good look he found she was really a nine-tailed vixen.
“Vicious brute,” he said, “fancy you having yourself called 'Your Highness'. If you're a 'your highness' then you ought to address me as Supreme Ancestral Lord.” The splendid Monkey King then found her Dazzling Golden Cord, and gloated as he tucked it up his sleeve, “Those lousy demons may have their magical powers, but three of their treasure are mine now.” He then pulled out two more hairs that he turned into doubles of Mountain Tiger and Ocean Dragon, as well as two more that he turned into the chair-porters. He then made himself look like the old lady, sat in the chair, and had it carried straight back the way he had come.
It was not long before they were at the entrance to the Lotus Flower Cave and the two hairs turned chair-porters were clamoring for the doors to be opened. The little devil on the doors asked whether Mountain Tiger and Ocean Dragon were back.
“Yes,” replied the hairs.
“Did you persuade Her Highness to come?”
“Can't you see her in the chair?” asked the hairs, pointing.
“Wait a moment while I report inside,” said the little devil, who went in to announce, “Your Majesties, Her Highness is here.” At this the two demon kings had a table of incense-sticks set out to greet her. Monkey was quietly delighted to hear all this.
“What luck,” he thought. “It's my turn to do it in style now. I had to kowtow with the invitation to the old she-devil when I turned myself into a little devil. Now that I've turned myself into her I'm their mother, and they'll have to kowtow four times to me. It may not mean much, but at least I'll be a couple of kowtows up.”
The splendid Great Sage got out of the carrying chair, straightened his clothes, and put the four hairs back on his body. The little devil on the doors carried the empty chair inside, and Monkey walked slowly in behind him, imitating the old she-devil's affected wiggles. As he went straight in devils big and small knelt in greeting. A drum and fife band started to play, and clouds of incense rose from the Boshan burners. On reaching the main hall he sat down, facing regally South, while the two demon kings kowtowed to him with the words, “Mother, your children kowtow to you.”
“Get up, my children,” said Monkey.
Pig, still hanging from a roof-beam, began to roar with laughter. “You're a fine one, brother,” said Friar Sand, “laughing while hung up.”
“I know what I'm doing,” said Pig.
“And what are you doing?” asked Friar Sand.
“I was afraid that when the old woman came we'd be cooked and eaten. But it's not her: it's the old story.”
“What old story?” asked Friar Sand.
“The Protector of the Horses is here,” said Pig.
“How can you tell?” asked Friar Sand. “When she leant forward and said, 'Get up, my children,' a monkey's tail stuck out behind her. I can see better than you because I'm hung up higher.”
“Stop talking,” said Friar Sand. “Let's listen to what they say.”
“Yes, yes,” said Pig.
“Well, boys, why have you asked me here?” asked Monkey as he sat between the two demon kings.
“Mother,” they replied, “we've been most discourteous to you for many days and not done our duty by you. But this morning we captured the Tang Priest from the East, and we wouldn't dream of eating him by ourselves. So we invited you over to present him to you live. We'll cook him and offer him to you to eat: he'll prolong your life.”
“I won't eat the Tang Priest's flesh, dear boys,” Monkey replied, “but they do say that Pig's ears are delicious. Could you cut them off and have them prepared? They'd go down well with a drink.”
“A pox on you,” exclaimed Pig in panic when he heard. “So you're here to cut my ears off. What I'll have to say won't make pleasant listening.”
Oh dear! Because the idiot's remarks gave the game away the Monkey King's cover was blown. In burst a crowd of little demons, mountain rangers and doorkeepers to report, “Disaster, Your Majesties. Sun the Novice has killed the old lady and disguised himself as her.”
The moment the demon kings heard this there was no time for arguments: the Seven-star Sword was brought out, and it cut straight at Monkey's face. The splendid Great Sage moved in a flash: the cave was full of red light, and he was gone. A trick like that really was fun: he could concentrate himself into solid form, or disperse into vapor. The Senior Demon King was out of his wits with terror, while all the other devils hit their fingers and shook their heads.
“Brother,” said the senior king, “let's give the Tang Priest, Friar Sand, Pig, the white horse and all their baggage back to Sun the Novice and end the quarrel between us.”
“What a thing to say,” replied the Junior King. “Goodness only knows how much trouble we went to in our plan to capture all those monks. But now you're so intimidated by Sun the Novice's amazing transformations that you want to give everything back to him. You really are a coward. No man would act like that. You sit down and stop being so terrified. I've heard you tell of his tremendous magical powers, but I've never tried my skill against his although we did meet. Bring me my armor. I'm going to find him and fight three rounds with him. If he can't beat me in those three rounds then the Tang Priest will be ours to eat; and if I can't beat him we'll give him back the Tang Priest.”
“You're right, brother,” said the older demon, who then ordered that the armor be brought out. This was done.
When the Junior Demon King was fully accoutered he took his sword in his hand and went outside calling, “Sun the Novice, where have you gone?” The Great Sage, who was now up in the clouds, turned round to look as soon as he heard his name called and saw that it was the Junior Demon King. This was how he was dressed:
The phoenix-helmet on his head outdid the winter snow;
His battle armor shone with the glint of steel.
The girdle at his waist was woven from dragon sinews;
Soft leather boots had folds like plum blossom.
A face like a living True Lord of Guankou,
A countenance no different from the Mighty Miracle God.
The Seven-star Sword was brandished in his fist;
Great was his wrath that rose to the clouds.
“Sun the Novice,” roared the Junior King, “give back our treasures and our mother and we will free your Tang Priest to go to fetch the scriptures.” The Great Sage could not restrain himself from abusing him:
“You revolting demon, you don't know what you're up against in me. Give me back my master, my brothers, the white horse and our baggage, and throw in some travelling expenses for our journey West too. If so much as the hint of a 'no' slips out between your teeth you'd better start making your own rope to save me the trouble of doing it myself.”
On hearing this the Junior Demon King sent a cloud shooting up and sprang into mid-air, swinging his sword round to cut through Monkey, who struck at his face with his iron cudgel. The fight between them in the sky was magnificent:
Well-matched chess-players,
A general against a worthy foe.
A well-matched chess-player must show his mettle;
Only against a worthy foe can a general win glory.
When these divine warriors clashed
It was like tigers fighting in the Southern hills,
Or dragons struggling in the Northern seas.
Where dragons struggle
Their scales glisten.
When tigers fight
Claws and teeth wreak havoc.
The claws and teeth wreak havoc, falling like silver hooks;
The scales as they glisten are iron leaves.
The one twists and turns,
Performing a thousand maneuvers;
The other moves to and fro,
Never relaxing for an instant.
The gold-banded cudgel
Comes within inches of the skull;
The Seven-star Sword
Strives for a thrust to the heart.
The one strikes fear into the stars;
The other's wrath is more terrible than lightning.
The two of them fought thirty rounds, but neither came out on top. Monkey was delighted, though without showing it. “So this vicious devil is a match for my iron cudgel. As I've already got his three treasures I'm only wasting my time slogging it out with him like this. It'd be much better to pop him into the gourd or the vase. But that's no good,” he reflected further. “As the saying goes, 'a possession is at its owner's disposal.' If they don't do what I tell them, everything will be ruined. I'll have to lasso him with the Dazzling Golden Cord.”
Using one hand to parry the magic sword with his cudgel, the splendid Great Sage raised the rope in the other and sent it whistling through the air to lasso the demon king. Now the king had a Rope-tightening Spell and a Rope-loosening Spell. When he lassoed others he would say the tightening spell, and nobody would be able to get free, and if he lassoed his own people he would say the loosening spell, and no one would be hurt. Recognizing this rope as one of his own family's treasures he said the loosening spell, at which the noose slid open. He got free and threw the rope back at Monkey, catching him. Before the Great Sage could apply some slimming magic to escape the demon had recited the tightening spell. Monkey was held fast, unable to free himself; he was locked tight by a gold ring at his neck. The demon jerked at the rope and pulled him over, then struck seven or eight blows at his head with the magic sword. This did not even redden Monkey's scalp.
“If your head's that hard, you ape, I'll not hack at you any more,” the demon said. “I'll take you back to kill later. Give me my two treasures back at once.”
“I haven't got any treasures of yours,” Monkey replied, “so why ask me?” The demon king searched him very carefully, found the gourd and the vase, and dragged him back into the cave by the rope.
“Brother, I've got him,” he announced.
“Who?” the Senior King asked.
“Sun the Novice,” replied the Junior King. “Come and see.”
When the Senior King saw that it was Monkey his face was wreathed in smiles. “It's him,” he said, “it's him. Tie him to a pillar with a very long rope and we'll have some fun with him.” And indeed Monkey was tied up while the two demon kings went into the back hall for a drink.
Monkey's fidgeting at the foot of the pillar disturbed Pig. As he hung from his beam the idiot mocked Monkey: “So you didn't manage to eat those ears.”
“Fool,” said Monkey, “do you like hanging up there? If I get out I guarantee that I'll rescue you all.”
“You're shameless,” said Pig, “quite shameless. You can't escape yourself, and you want to rescue others. I've had enough. Let's all die with the master, then at least we'll be able to ask the way for him in the Underworld.”
“Stop talking such nonsense,” said Monkey, “and watch me get out.”
“How?” Pig asked. While the Great Sage told Pig he was keeping a sharp eye on the two demon kings, who were feasting inside while little demons brought them dishes of food and jugs of wine. The two of them were staggering all over the place, and security was very relaxed.
Seeing that there was nobody in front of him Monkey used his magic powers to slide his cudgel out. He blew on it and said “Change!” turning it into a pure steel file. Tugging at the ring at his neck he filed it apart with four or five strokes of the file, then removed the file, freed himself, plucked out a hair, turned it into a replica of himself, and left it tied up there. Then in a flash he changed into a little devil and stood beside it.
Up by the roof-beam Pig started to shout, “This is terrible, terrible. The one tied up is a fake. The genuine article is hanging up here.”
The Senior Demon King put his wine cup down to ask, “Why is Pig yelling?” Monkey, now in the guise of a little devil, came forward to report, “Pig was inciting Sun the Novice to transform himself and escape. Sun refused to do so, and so Pig is yelling.”
“Who said that Pig was well-behaved?” asked the Junior King. “Now we know just how cunning he is. He must be hit twenty times on the snout.”
When Monkey fetched a rod to hit him with, Pig said, “Don't hit me hard, because if you do I'll start shouting again. I know who you are.”
“It's only for your sakes that I'm making all these transformations,” replied Monkey. “Why ever did you have to give the game away? None of the demons in the cave knew who I was. It would have to be you who found out.”
“You may have altered your face,” Pig replied, “but you can't change your backside. You have a patch of red on either cheek down there, don't you? That's how I know it's you.” Monkey went through to the inner quarters, slipped into the kitchens, rubbed the underneath of a pan, smeared the soot on both his buttocks, and went back to the front part of the cave.
“Where's that monkey been messing around?” mocked Pig when he saw him. “His bum's all black.”
Monkey was still standing in front of them, trying to steal their treasures. Being extremely wise he entered the main hall, tugged at the old demon's leg, and said, “Your Majesty, Sun the Novice is fidgeting around where he's tied to the pillar, trying to wear his way through the golden rope. It would be best to change it for a thicker one.”
“You're right,” said the Senior Demon King, taking off the belt of lion-hide he wore at his waist and handing it to Monkey, who used it to tie up the imitation Monkey. The golden rope he tucked loop by loop into his sleeve before plucking out a hair, blowing on it with magic breath, and turning it into a copy of the Dazzling Golden Cord, which he respectfully returned to the demon with both hands. The demon was too preoccupied with his drinking to look at it carefully as he accepted it. Thus it was that the Great Sage used his power of improvisation and turned a hair into the Dazzling Golden Cord.
Now that he had this treasure he bounded out of the cave as fast as he could, turned back into himself, and shouted, “You devils.”
“Who are you, yelling like that?” the devils on the doors asked.
“Go inside at once and announce to your lousy demon kings that the Novice Sun is here.” When the little devils passed on the message the Senior King was greatly shocked.
“We've captured Sun the Novice, so how can there be another Novice Sun?”
“He's nothing to be frightened of,” said the Junior King. “We have all our treasures back. I'll fetch the gourd and put him inside it.”
“Do be careful, brother,” said the Senior King.
The Junior King went outside carrying the gourd to see someone just like Sun the Novice except that he was a little shorter. “Where are you from?” he asked.
“I'm Sun the Novice's brother,” Monkey replied. “I've heard that you've captured him, which is why I'm here to have it out with you.”
“Yes, I have got him,” said the Junior Demon King. “He's tied up in the cave. As you're here you must want a fight, and I'm willing to cross swords with you. But do you have the guts to answer if I call your name?”
“If you call my name a thousand times,” said Monkey, “I'll answer ten thousand times.”
The demon leapt into mid-air with his treasure, which he held upside-down as he called out, “Novice Sun.” Monkey did not dare reply.
“If I reply,” he thought, “he'll have me inside.”
“Why don't you answer me?” the demon asked.
“I can't hear you,” replied Monkey, “I'm a bit deaf. Shout louder.”
“Novice Sun,” the demon shouted again. Down below Monkey pinched his own fingers as he thought things out: “My real name is Sun the Novice. Novice Sun is only a false name I've made up. With my real name I could be put in the gourd, but I reckon that with a false name I can't be.” Unable to restrain himself any longer he replied this time. With a roaring of wind he was sucked into the gourd and the label was put on it. As it happened it made no difference to that treasure whether a name was real or false: any response was enough to get you put inside.
The Great Sage found it pitch-black inside the gourd. When he tried to raise his head he could not move it at all, so tightly was he squeezed in it. He now began to feel very anxious. “The two little devils I met on the mountain,” he thought, “told me that any one put in the gourd or the vase turns to pus in three and a half hours. Perhaps that's going to happen to me.” Then he started on another line of thought: “No problem. I won't turn into pus. When I made havoc in the Palace of Heaven five hundred years ago Lord Lao Zi put me in his Eight Trigram Furnace and fired me for forty-nine days, and this gave me a heart and liver of gold, lungs of silver, a brazen head, an iron back, eyes of fire and golden pupils. I couldn't possibly be turned to pus in three and a half hours. I'll let him take me inside and see what he does.”
Taking Monkey inside, the Junior Demon King said, “I've got him, brother.”
“Who?” the Senior King asked.
“I've got the Novice Sun packed in my gourd,” the Junior King replied.
“Do sit down, dear brother,” said the Senior King, “and don't move. We must shake the gourd till we hear him sloshing around inside before taking the label off.” Hearing this, Monkey wondered, “How could they shake my body till they heard it sloshing around? They wouldn't hear anything unless I'd turned runny. I'll take a piss, then if they shake me and hear is sloshing around they're bound to take the label and the lid off, and I'll be able to get the hell out of here. No, that won't do. Piss would sound right but it would get my tunic filthy. When he shakes the gourd I'll have my mouth full of saliva that I can swish around noisily to fool him into opening up. Then I'll be off.” The Great Sage got ready, but the demons were too thirsty for their wine to shake the gourd. So he thought of a way to trick them into shaking it.
“Heavens,” he shouted, “my knuckles have turned to pus.” But the demons still did not shake it. Then he shouted, “Mother, my waist has gone now.”
At this the Senior Demon King said, “If he's turned to pus as far as the waist he's finished. Take the label off and let's have a look.”
When the Great Sage heard this he plucked out another hair, told it to change, and turned it into half of his own body, which he left in the bottom of the gourd. He turned himself into a tiny insect that perched near the mouth of the gourd. As soon as the Junior Demon King took the paper cover off he flew out, did a roll, and turned into Ocean Dragon, the little devil who had gone with the invitation to the old lady. In this guise he stood beside the path while the Senior King removed the stopper from the gourd, craned his neck, and saw the half body still moving. Not realizing that it was a fake he called out in panic, “Shut it again, brother, shut it. He hasn't rotted down yet.” The Junior King put the cover back on. The Great Sage was discreetly delighted that they did not realize where he actually was.
The Senior Demon King took the gourd, filled a cup to the brim with liquor, and offered it with both hands to the Junior King, saying, “Please accept this drink from me.”
“Elder brother,” replied the Junior King, “I've drunk a great deal. I can't accept another.”
To this the Senior King said, “Your capture of the Tang Priest, Pig and Friar Sand was nothing special; but I insist on offering you some drinks to congratulate you on your achievement in tying up Sun the Novice and putting the Novice Sun into your gourd.” As his elder brother was showing him so much honour and respect the Junior King would have to accept the cup. But he was still holding the magic gourd, and it would have been rude to accept the cup in one hand. So he passed the gourd to Ocean Dragon to allow himself to receive the cup with both hands, unaware that Ocean Dragon was Monkey in disguise. Just watch Monkey respectfully holding the gourd as he stands in attendance. When the Junior King had drunk the liquor he wanted to return the courtesy.
“No need,” said the Senior King, “I'll drink one with you.” They were both being very modest. Monkey held the gourd and fixed his gaze on the two of them as they lost count of how many drinks they were giving each other. He slipped the gourd up his sleeve, pulled out a hair, and turned it into an exact facsimile of the gourd that he offered to the kings. After giving each other so many drinks the two kings did not check its authenticity but simply took their treasure, went to their places, sat down, and carried on drinking. The Great Sage got away. He was very pleased at having captured the treasures.
“In spite of these demon kings' magic powers, the gourd is now mine,” he thought.
If you don't know what he had to do to save his master and destroy the demons, listen to the explanation in the next installment.
魔王巧算困心猿
大圣腾那骗宝贝
却说那两个小妖,将假葫芦拿在手中,争看一会,忽抬头不见了行者。伶俐虫道:“哥啊,神仙也会打诳语,他说换了宝贝,度我等成仙,怎么不辞就去了?”精细鬼道:“我们相应便宜的多哩,他敢去得成?拿过葫芦来,等我装装天,也试演试演看。”真个把葫芦往上一抛,扑的就落将下来,慌得个伶俐虫道:“怎么不装!不装!莫是孙行者假变神仙,将假葫芦换了我们的真的去耶?”精细鬼道:“不要胡说!孙行者是那三座山压住了,怎生得出?拿过来,等我念他那几句咒儿装了看。”这怪也把葫芦儿望空丢起,口中念道:“若有半声不肯,就上灵霄殿上,动起刀兵!”念不了,扑的又落将下来。两妖道:“不装不装!
一定是个假的。”正嚷处,孙大圣在半空里听得明白,看得真实,恐怕他弄得时辰多了,紧要处走了风讯,将身一抖,把那变葫芦的毫毛,收上身来,弄得那两妖四手皆空。精细鬼道:“兄弟,拿葫芦来。”伶俐虫道:“你拿着的。天呀!怎么不见了?”都去地下乱摸,草里胡寻,吞袖子,揣腰间,那里得有?二妖吓得呆呆挣挣道:“怎的好!怎的好!当时大王将宝贝付与我们,教拿孙行者,今行者既不曾拿得,连宝贝都不见了。我们怎敢去回话?这一顿直直的打死了也!怎的好!怎的好!”伶俐虫道:“我们走了罢。”精细鬼道:“往那里走么?”伶俐虫道:“不管那里走罢。若回去说没宝贝,断然是送命了。”精细鬼道:“不要走,还回去。二大王平日看你甚好,我推一句儿在你身上。他若肯将就,留得性命,说不过,就打死,还在此间,莫弄得两头不着,去来去来!”那怪商议了,转步回山。
行者在半空中见他回去,又摇身一变,变作苍蝇儿飞下去,跟着小妖。你道他既变了苍蝇,那宝贝却放在何处?如丢在路上,藏在草里,被人看见拿去,却不是劳而无功?他还带在身上。带在身上啊,苍蝇不过豆粒大小,如何容得?原来他那宝贝,与他金箍棒相同,叫做如意佛宝,随身变化,可以大,可以小,故身上亦可容得。他嘤的一声飞下去,跟定那怪,不一时,到了洞里。只见那两个魔头,坐在那里饮酒。小妖朝上跪下,行者就钉在那门柜上,侧耳听着。小妖道:“大王。”二老魔即停杯道:“你们来了?”小妖道:“来了。”又问:“拿着孙行者否?”小妖叩头,不敢声言。老魔又问,又不敢应,只是叩头。问之再三,小妖俯伏在地:“赦小的万千死罪!赦小的万千死罪!
我等执着宝贝,走到半山之中,忽遇着蓬莱山一个神仙。他问我们那里去,我们答道,拿孙行者去。那神仙听见说孙行者,他也恼他,要与我们帮功。是我们不曾叫他帮功,却将拿宝贝装人的情由,与他说了。那神仙也有个葫芦,善能装天。我们也是妄想之心,养家之意:他的装天,我的装人,与他换了罢。原说葫芦换葫芦,伶俐虫又贴他个净瓶。谁想他仙家之物,近不得凡人之手,正试演处,就连人都不见了。万望饶小的们死罪!”老魔听说,暴躁如雷道:“罢了!罢了!这就是孙行者假妆神仙骗哄去了!那猴头神通广大,处处人熟,不知那个毛神放他出来,骗去宝贝!”二魔道:“兄长息怒。叵耐那猴头着然无礼,既有手段,便走了也罢,怎么又骗宝贝?我若没本事拿他,永不在西方路上为怪!”老魔道:“怎生拿他?”二魔道:“我们有五件宝贝,去了两件,还有三件,务要拿住他。”老魔道:“还有那三件?”二魔道:“还有七星剑与芭蕉扇在我身边,那一条幌金绳,在压龙山压龙洞老母亲那里收着哩。如今差两个小妖去请母亲来吃唐僧肉,就教他带幌金绳来拿孙行者。”老魔道:“差那个去?”二魔道:“不差这样废物去!”将精细鬼、伶俐虫一声喝起。二人道:“造化!造化!打也不曾打,骂也不曾骂,却就饶了。”二魔道:“叫那常随的伴当巴山虎、倚海龙来。”二人跪下,二魔吩咐道:“你却要小心。”俱应道:“小心。”“却要仔细。”俱应道:“仔细。”又问道:“你认得老奶奶家么?”又俱应道:“认得。”“你既认得,你快早走动,到老奶奶处,多多拜上,说请吃唐僧肉哩。就着带幌金绳来,要拿孙行者。”
二怪领命疾走,怎知那行者在旁,一一听得明白。他展开翅,飞将去,赶上巴山虎,钉在他身上。行经二三里,就要打杀他两个。又思道:“打死他,有何难事?但他奶奶身边有那幌金绳,又不知住在何处,等我且问他一问再打。”好行者,嘤的一声,躲离小妖,让他先行有百十步,却又摇身一变,也变做个小妖儿,戴一顶狐皮帽子,将虎皮裙子倒插上来勒住,赶上道:“走路的,等我一等。”那倚海龙回头问道:“是那里来的?”行者道:“好哥啊,连自家人也认不得?”小妖道:“我家没有你。”行者道:“怎么没我?你再认认看。”小妖道:“面生面生,不曾相会。”行者道:“正是,你们不曾会着我,我是外班的。”小妖道:“外班长官,是不曾会。你往那里去?”行者道:“大王说差你二位请老奶奶来吃唐僧肉,教他就带幌金绳来拿孙行者。恐你二位走得缓,有些贪顽,误了正事,又差我来催你们快去。”小妖见说着海底眼,更不疑惑,把行者果认做一家人,急急忙忙,往前飞跑,一气又跑有八九里。行者道:“忒走快了些,我们离家有多少路了?”小怪道:“有十五六里了。”行者道:“还有多远?”
倚海龙用手一指道:“乌林子里就是。”行者抬头见一带黑林不远,料得那老怪只在林子里外,却立定步,让那小怪前走,即取出铁棒,走上前,着脚后一刮。可怜忒不禁打,就把两个小妖刮做一团肉饼,却拖着脚,藏在路旁深草科里。即便拔下一根毫毛,吹口仙气,叫“变!”变做个巴山虎,自身却变做个倚海龙,假妆做两个小妖,径往那压龙洞请老奶奶。这叫做七十二变神通大,指物腾那手段高。
三五步,跳到林子里,正找寻处,只见有两扇石门,半开半掩,不敢擅入,只得吆叫一声:“开门!开门!”早惊动那把门的一个女怪,将那半扇儿开了,道:“你是那里来的?”行者道:“我是平顶山莲花洞里差来请老奶奶的。”那女怪道:“进去。”到了二层门下,闪着头往里观看,又见那正当中高坐着一个老妈妈儿。你道他怎生模样?但见:雪鬓蓬松,星光晃亮。脸皮红润皱文多,牙齿稀疏神气壮。貌似菊残霜里色,形如松老雨余颜。
头缠白练攒丝帕,耳坠黄金嵌宝环。孙大圣见了,不敢进去,只在二门外仵着脸,脱脱的哭起来,你道他哭怎的,莫成是怕他?
就怕也便不哭,况先哄了他的宝贝,又打杀他的小妖,却为何而哭?他当时曾下九鼎油锅,就煠了七八日也不曾有一点泪儿,只为想起唐僧取经的苦恼,他就泪出痛肠,放眼便哭,心却想道:“老孙既显手段,变做小妖,来请这老怪,没有个直直的站了说话之理,一定见他磕头才是。我为人做了一场好汉,止拜了三个人:西天拜佛祖,南海拜观音,两界山师父救了我,我拜了他四拜。为他使碎六叶连肝肺,用尽三毛七孔心。一卷经能值几何?今日却教我去拜此怪。若不跪拜,必定走了风讯。
苦啊!算来只为师父受困,故使我受辱于人!”到此际也没及奈何,撞将进去,朝上跪下道:“奶奶磕头。”那怪道:“我儿,起来。”行者暗道:“好!好!好!叫得结实!”老怪问道:“你是那里来的?”行者道:“平顶山莲花洞,蒙二位大王有令,差来请奶奶去吃唐僧肉,教带幌金绳,要拿孙行者哩。”老怪大喜道:“好孝顺的儿子!”就去叫抬出轿来。行者道:“我的儿啊!妖精也抬轿!”后壁厢即有两个女怪,抬出一顶香藤轿,放在门外,挂上青绢纬幔。老怪起身出洞,坐在轿里,后有几个小女怪,捧着减妆,端着镜架,提着手巾,托着香盒,跟随左右。那老怪道:“你们来怎的?我往自家儿子去处,愁那里没人伏侍,要你们去献勤塌嘴?都回去!关了门看家!”那几个小妖果俱回去,止有两个抬轿的。老怪问道:“那差来的叫做甚么名字?”行者连忙答应道:“他叫做巴山虎,我叫做倚海龙。”老怪道:“你两个前走,与我开路。”行者暗想道:“可是晦气!经倒不曾取得,且来替他做皂隶!”却又不敢抵强,只得向前引路,大四声喝起。
行了五六里远近,他就坐在石崖上,等候那抬轿的到了,行者道:“略歇歇如何?压得肩头疼啊。”小怪那知甚么诀窍,就把轿子歇下。行者在轿后,胸脯上拔下一根毫毛,变做一个大烧饼,抱着啃。轿夫道:“长官,你吃的是甚么?”行者道:“不好说。这远的路,来请奶奶,没些儿赏赐,肚里饥了,原带来的干粮,等我吃些儿再走。”轿夫道:“把些儿我们吃吃。”行者笑道:“来么,都是一家人,怎么计较?”那小妖不知好歹,围着行者,分其干粮,被行者掣出棒,着头一磨,一个汤着的,打得稀烂;
一个擦着的,不死还哼。那老怪听得人哼,轿子里伸出头来看时,被行者跳到轿前,劈头一棍,打了个窟窿,脑浆迸流,鲜血直冒,拖出轿来看处,原是个九尾狐狸。行者笑道:“造孽畜!叫甚么老奶奶!你叫老奶奶,就该称老孙做上太祖公公是!”好猴王,把他那幌金绳搜出来,笼在袖里,欢喜道:“那泼魔纵有手段,已此三件儿宝贝姓孙了!”却又拔两根毫毛变做个巴山虎、倚海龙,又拔两根变做两个抬轿的,他却变做老奶奶模样,坐在轿里。将轿子抬起,径回本路。不多时,到了莲花洞口,那毫毛变的小妖,俱在前道:“开门!开门!”内有把门的小妖,开了门道:“巴山虎、倚海龙来了?”毫毛道:“来了。”“你们请的奶奶呢?”毫毛用手指道:“那轿内的不是?”小怪道:“你且住,等我进去先报。”报道:“大王,奶奶来耶。”两个魔头闻说,即命排香案来接。行者听得暗喜道:“造化!也轮到我为人了!我先变小妖,去请老怪,磕了他一个头。这番来,我变老怪,是他母亲,定行四拜之礼。虽不怎的,好道也赚他两个头儿!”好大圣,下了轿子,抖抖衣服,把那四根毫毛收在身上。那把门的小妖,把空轿抬入门里,他却随后徐行,那般娇娇啻啻,扭扭捏捏,就象那老怪的行动,径自进去。又只见大小群妖,都来跪接,鼓乐箫韶,一派响喨;博山炉里,霭霭香烟。他到正厅中,南面坐下,两个魔头,双膝跪倒,朝上叩头,叫道:“母亲,孩儿拜揖。”行者道:“我儿起来。”
却说猪八戒吊在梁上,哈哈的笑了一声。沙僧道:“二哥好啊!吊出笑来也!”八戒道:“兄弟,我笑中有故。”沙僧道:“甚故?”八戒道:“我们只怕是奶奶来了,就要蒸吃;原来不是奶奶,是旧话来了。”沙僧道:“甚么旧话?”八戒笑道:“弼马温来了。”沙僧道:“你怎么认得是他?”八戒道:“弯倒腰叫我儿起来,那后面就掬起猴尾巴子。我比你吊得高,所以看得明也。”
沙僧道:“且不要言语,听他说甚么话。”八戒道:“正是,正是。”
那孙大圣坐在中间问道:“我儿,请我来有何事干?”魔头道:“母亲啊,连日儿等少礼,不曾孝顺得。今早愚兄弟拿得东土唐僧,不敢擅吃,请母亲来献献生,好蒸与母亲吃了延寿。”行者道:“我儿,唐僧的肉我倒不吃,听见有个猪八戒的耳朵甚好,可割将下来整治整治我下酒。”那八戒听见慌了道:“遭瘟的!
你来为割我耳朵的!我喊出来不好听啊!”
噫,只为呆子一句通情话,走了猴王变化的风。那里有几个巡山的小怪,把门的众妖,都撞将进来,报道:“大王,祸事了!孙行者打杀奶奶,假妆来耶!”魔头闻此言,那容分说,掣七星宝剑,望行者劈脸砍来。好大圣,将身一幌,只见满洞红光,预先走了。似这般手段,着实好耍子,正是那聚则成形,散则成气。唬得个老魔头魂飞魄散,众群精噬指摇头。老魔道:“兄弟,把唐僧与沙僧、八戒、白马、行李都送还那孙行者,闭了是非之门罢。”二魔道:“哥哥,你说那里话?我不知费了多少辛勤,施这计策,将那和尚都摄将来。如今似你这等怕惧孙行者的诡谲,就俱送去还他,真所谓畏刀避剑之人,岂大丈夫之所为也?
你且请坐勿惧。我闻你说孙行者神通广大,我虽与他相会一场,却不曾与他比试。取披挂来,等我寻他交战三合。假若他三合胜我不过,唐僧还是我们之食;如三战我不能胜他,那时再送唐僧与他未迟。”老魔道:“贤弟说得是。”教:“取披挂。”众妖抬出披挂,二魔结束齐整,执宝剑出门外叫声:“孙行者!你往那里走了?”此时大圣已在云端里,闻得叫他名字,急回头观看,原来是那二魔。你看他怎生打扮:头戴凤盔欺腊雪,身披战甲幌镔铁。腰间带是蟒龙筋,粉皮靴靿梅花摺。颜如灌口活真君,貌比巨灵无二别。七星宝剑手中擎,怒气冲霄威烈烈。二魔高叫道:“孙行者!快还我宝贝与我母亲来,我饶你唐僧取经去!”大圣忍不住骂道:“这泼怪物,错认了你孙外公!赶早儿送还我师父师弟白马行囊,仍打发我些盘缠,往西走路。若牙缝里道半个不字,就自家搓根绳儿去罢,也免得你外公动手。”二魔闻言,急纵云跳在空中,轮宝剑来刺,行者掣铁棒劈手相迎。
他两个在半空中,这场好杀:棋逢对手,将遇良才。棋逢对手难藏兴,将遇良才可用功。那两员神将相交,好便似南山虎斗,北海龙争。龙争处,鳞甲生辉;虎斗时,爪牙乱落。爪牙乱落撒银钩,鳞甲生辉支铁叶。这一个翻翻复复,有千般解数;那一个来来往往,无半点放闲。金箍棒,离顶门只隔三分;七星剑,向心窝惟争一蹍。那个威风逼得斗牛寒,这个怒气胜如雷电险。他两个战了有三十回合,不分胜负。
行者暗喜道:“这泼怪倒也架得住老孙的铁棒!我已得了他三件宝贝,却这般苦苦的与他厮杀,可不误了我的工夫?不若拿葫芦或净瓶装他去,多少是好。”又想道:“不好!不好!常言道:物随主便。倘若我叫他不答应,却又不误了事业?且使幌金绳扣头罢。”好大圣,一只手使棒,架住他的宝剑;一只手把那绳抛起,刷喇的扣了魔头。原来那魔头有个《紧绳咒》,有个《松绳咒》。若扣住别人,就念《紧绳咒》,莫能得脱;若扣住自家人,就念《松绳咒》,不得伤身。他认得是自家的宝贝,即念《松绳咒》,把绳松动,便脱出来,反望行者抛将去,却早扣住了大圣。大圣正要使“瘦身法”,想要脱身,却被那魔念动《紧绳咒》,紧紧扣住,怎能得脱?褪至颈项之下,原是一个金圈子套住。那怪将绳一扯,扯将下来,照光头上砍了七八宝剑,行者头皮儿也不曾红了一红。那魔道:“这猴子,你这等头硬,我不砍你,且带你回去再打你。将我那两件宝贝趁早还我!”行者道:“我拿你甚么宝贝,你问我要?”那魔头将身上细细搜检,却将那葫芦、净瓶都搜出来,又把绳子牵着,带至洞里道:“兄长,拿将来了。”老魔道:“拿了谁来?”二魔道:“孙行者。你来看,你来看。”老魔一见,认得是行者,满面欢喜道:“是他!是他!把他长长的绳儿拴在柱枓上耍子!”真个把行者拴住,两个魔头,却进后面堂里饮酒。那大圣在柱根下爬蹉,忽惊动八戒。那呆子吊在梁上,哈哈的笑道:“哥哥啊,耳朵吃不成了!”行者道:“呆子,可吊得自在么?我如今就出去,管情救了你们。”八戒道:“不羞!不羞!本身难脱,还想救人,罢罢罢!师徒们都在一处死了,好到阴司里问路!”行者道:“不要胡说!你看我出去。”八戒道:“我看你怎么出去。”那大圣口里与八戒说话,眼里却抹着那些妖怪。见他在里边吃酒,有几个小妖拿盘拿盏,执壶酾酒,不住的两头乱跑,关防的略松了些儿。他见面前无人,就弄神通:顺出棒来,吹口仙气,叫“变!”即变做一个纯钢的锉儿,扳过那颈项的圈子,三五锉,锉做两段;扳开锉口,脱将出来,拔了一根毫毛,叫变做一个假身,拴在那里,真身却幌一幌,变做个小妖,立在旁边。八戒又在梁上喊道:“不好了!不好了!
拴的是假货,吊的是正身!”老魔停杯便问:“那猪八戒吆喝的是甚么?”行者已变做小妖,上前道:“猪八戒撺道孙行者教变化走了罢,他不肯走,在那里吆喝哩。”二魔道:“还说猪八戒老实,原来这等不老实!该打二十多嘴棍!”这行者就去拿条棍来打,八戒道:“你打轻些儿,若重了些儿,我又喊起,我认得你!”
行者道:“老孙变化,也只为你们,你怎么倒走了风息?这一洞里妖精,都认不得,怎的偏你认得?”八戒道:“你虽变了头脸,还不曾变得屁股。那屁股上两块红不是?我因此认得是你。”|Qī|shu|ωang|
行者随往后面,演到厨中,锅底上摸了一把,将两臀擦黑,行至前边。八戒看见又笑道:“那个猴子去那里混了这一会,弄做个黑屁股来了。”
行者仍站在跟前,要偷他宝贝,真个甚有见识:走上厅,对那怪扯个腿子道:“大王,你看那孙行者拴在柱上,左右爬蹉,磨坏那根金绳,得一根粗壮些的绳子换将下来才好。”老魔道:“说得是。”即将腰间的狮蛮带解下,递与行者。行者接了带,把假妆的行者拴住,换下那条绳子,一窝儿窝儿笼在袖内,又拔一根毫毛,吹口仙气,变作一根假幌金绳,双手送与那怪。那怪只因贪酒,那曾细看,就便收下。这个是大圣腾那弄本事毫毛又换幌金绳。
得了这件宝贝,急转身跳出门外,现了原身高叫:“妖怪!”
那把门的小妖问道:“你是甚人,在此呼喝?”行者道:“你快早进去报与你那泼魔,说者行孙来了。”那小妖如言报告,老魔大惊道:“拿住孙行者,又怎么有个者行孙?”二魔道:“哥哥,怕他怎的?宝贝都在我手里,等我拿那葫芦出去,把他装将来。”老魔道:“兄弟仔细。”二魔拿了葫芦,走出山门,忽看见与孙行者模样一般,只是略矮些儿,问道:“你是那里来的”,行者道:“我是孙行者的兄弟,闻说你拿了我家兄,却来与你寻事的。”二魔道:“是我拿了,锁在洞中。你今既来,必要索战。我也不与你交兵,我且叫你一声,你敢应我么?”行者道:“可怕你叫上千声,我就答应你万声!”那魔执了宝贝,跳在空中,把底儿朝天,口儿朝地,叫声“者行孙。”行者却不敢答应,心中暗想道:“若是应了,就装进去哩。”那魔道:“你怎么不应我?”行者道:“我有些耳闭,不曾听见。你高叫。”那怪物又叫声“者行孙。”行者在底下掐着指头算了一算,道:“我真名字叫做孙行者,起的鬼名字叫做者行孙。真名字可以装得,鬼名字好道装不得。”却就忍不住,应了他一声,飕的被他吸进葫芦去,贴上帖儿。原来那宝贝,那管甚么名字真假,但绰个应的气儿,就装了去也。大圣到他葫芦里,浑然乌黑,把头往上一顶,那里顶得动,且是塞得甚紧,却才心中焦躁道:“当时我在山上,遇着那两个小妖,他曾告诵我说:不拘葫芦净瓶,把人装在里面,只消一时三刻,就化为脓了,敢莫化了我么?”一条心又想着道:“没事!化不得我!老孙五百年前大闹天宫,被太上老君放在八卦炉中炼了四十九日,炼成个金子心肝,银子肺腑,铜头铁背,火眼金睛,那里一时三刻就化得我?且跟他进去,看他怎的!”
二魔拿入里面道:“哥哥,拿来了。”老魔道:“拿了谁?”二魔道:“者行孙,是我装在葫芦里也。”老魔欢喜道:“贤弟请坐。
不要动,只等摇得响再揭帖儿。”行者听得道:“我这般一个身子,怎么便摇得响?只除化成稀汁,才摇得响是。等我撒泡溺罢,他若摇得响时,一定揭帖起盖。我乘空走他娘罢!”又思道,“不好不好!溺虽可响,只是污了这直裰。等他摇时,我但聚些唾津漱口,稀漓呼喇的,哄他揭开,老孙再走罢。”大圣作了准备,那怪贪酒不摇。大圣作个法,意思只是哄他来摇,忽然叫道:“天呀!孤拐都化了!”那魔也不摇。大圣又叫道:“娘啊!连腰截骨都化了!”老魔道:“化至腰时,都化尽矣,揭起帖儿看看。”那大圣闻言,就拔了一根毫毛。叫“变!”变作个半截的身子,在葫芦底上,真身却变做个蟭蟟虫儿,钉在那葫芦口边。只见那二魔揭起帖子看时,大圣早已飞出,打个滚,又变做个倚海龙。倚海龙却是原去请老奶奶的那个小妖,他变了,站在旁边。那老魔扳着葫芦口,张了一张,见是个半截身子动耽,他也不认真假,慌忙叫:“兄弟,盖上!盖上!还不曾化得了哩!”二魔依旧贴上。大圣在旁暗笑道:“不知老孙已在此矣!”
那老魔拿了壶,满满的斟了一杯酒,近前双手递与二魔道:“贤弟,我与你递个锺儿。”二魔道:“兄长,我们已吃了这半会酒,又递甚锺?”老魔道:“你拿住唐僧、八戒、沙僧犹可,又索了孙行者,装了者行孙,如此功劳,该与你多递几锺。”二魔见哥哥恭敬,怎敢不接,但一只手托着葫芦,一只手不敢去接,却把葫芦递与倚海龙,双手去接杯,不知那倚海龙是孙行者变的。你看他端葫芦,殷勤奉侍。二魔接酒吃了,也要回奉一杯,老魔道:“不消回酒,我这里陪你一杯罢。”两人只管谦逊。行者顶着葫芦,眼不转睛,看他两个左右传杯,全无计较,他就把个葫芦揌入衣袖,拔根毫毛变个假葫芦,一样无二,捧在手中。那魔递了一会酒,也不看真假,一把接过宝贝,各上席,安然坐下,依然叙饮。孙大圣撤身走过,得了宝贝,心中暗喜道:“饶这魔头有手段,毕竟葫芦还姓孙!”毕竟不知向后怎样施为,方得救师灭怪,且听下回分解。