The story tells how the Great Sage Monkey pinched Friar Sand with his left hand and Pig with his right. The two of them realized what was happening and sat there on high, their heads bowed in silence, while the Taoists lit their lamps and shone them all around as they searched. The three of them looked just as if they really were made of clay covered with gold leaf.

“If no evildoers have been here,” said the Great Immortal Tiger Power, “how have the offerings all been eaten?”

“It looks as though people have eaten them,” said the Great Immortal Deer Power. “The fruit with skins has all been peeled and the stones have all been spat out of the stone fruit. But why can't we see anybody?”

“There is no need to be so suspicious, brother,” said the Great Immortal Antelope Power. “I think that the Heavenly Honoured Ones must have been moved by our reverence and respect in reciting scriptures and making readings day and night, and by the name of His Majesty. Evidently the Three Pure Lords came down to the mortal world to enjoy these offerings. I suggest that we should worship the Heavenly Honoured Ones before they fly away on their cranes. We should beg them for some holy water and golden elixir pills that we can present to His Majesty and thereby win credit for giving him immortality.”

“A good idea,” said Tiger Power. “Let there be music and recitation, my disciples,” he ordered, “and bring me my ceremonial robes so that I may pace out the Dipper dance and pray for immortality for His Majesty.”

The young Taoists did as they were told and were soon neatly drawn up in two groups. At the sound of a stone chime they all began to recite in unison the True Classic of the Way and Its Power of the Yellow Court. Throwing his religious cloak over his shoulders, Tiger Power took his jade tablet in his hands, performed the ritual dance raising the dust before the statues, prostrated himself in respect, and submitted the following memorial to the Pure Ones:

 

“In fear and trembling I bow my head in submission. We your subjects promote the faith and long for your pure emptiness. We are suppressing the low vulgarity of Buddhist monks and gaining respect for the brilliance of the Way. A holy temple has been built by command of His Majesty the King. Many an offering has been set out, and the dragon banners hang high; candles burn all night, and incense smokes throughout the day. We worship with complete sincerity, respect and devotion. Now that you have honoured us with your presence we beseech you before you go away in your immortal chariots to grant us tablets of golden elixir and holy water that we may present to His Majesty to bring him life as long as the Southern Hills.”

 

Pig felt most uncomfortable at all this, and he murmured under his breath to Monkey, “We shouldn't have stayed to be prayed to after eating the stuff. How are we going to answer their prayers?”

Monkey gave him another pinch, opened his mouth, and called out, “Cease your worship, young immortals. We have just come from a Peach Banquet, so we did not bring any golden elixir or holy water today. We will present you with some another day.”

When the priests young and old heard the statue speaking they all twitched at their clothes and trembled as they said, “My lord, a living Heavenly Honoured One has come down to earth. Don't let him go. Whatever you do get him to give us a recipe for eternal life.”

Tiger Power then stepped forward, bowed again, and said, “Raising the dust while kowtowing in the sincerity of my heart, your humble servant dutifully worships the Three Pure Ones. Since coming to this country we have promoted the Way and suppressed the Buddhist clergy. His Majesty adores the Way and respectfully wishes to prolong his years, which is why we held this great service to heaven and recited scriptures all night. We are most fortunate that you Heavenly Honoured Ones have not disdained from descending in your holy chariots and have appeared in person. We beg you in your mercy to grant us the great boon of a little holy water to lengthen the lives of your disciples.”

“They must be desperate to get it, praying for it again,” muttered Friar Sand under his breath to Monkey, giving him a pinch.

“Then let's give them some,” said Monkey.

“But where will we get it?” mumbled Pig.

“Watch me,” said Monkey. “When I get some, you'll have some too.” The Taoists had by now finished playing their music.

“Young immortals,” said Brother Monkey, “there is no need to prostrate yourselves. I did not originally want to leave any holy water with you in case it destroyed your offspring of immortality, but there would be no difficulty at all about giving you some.”

When the Taoists heard this they all prostrated themselves, kowtowed and said, “We beg and implore the Heavenly Honoured One to grant your disciples some in recognition of the respectful devotion. We have widely taught the Way and its power and won the respect of the king for our sect of mystery.”

“Very well then,” said Monkey, “fetch a vessel.” The Taoists all once again kowtowed in thanks: Tiger Power, who liked to show off, carried in a great earthen jar that he placed in the hall. Deer Power put an earthenware dish on the table for offerings, and Antelope Power took the flowers out of a vase and put it between the other two containers.

“Withdraw from the hall, all of you,” ordered Monkey, “and screen us off. The secrets of Heaven must not be revealed. Then we can give you some holy water.” The priests then all prostrated themselves below the steps outside the hall and shut the doors.

Monkey then stood up, lifted his tiger-skin kilt, and filled the vase with stinking piss, to the delight of Pig, who said, “In all the years we've been brothers we've never done this before. I've just eaten, and you ask me to do such a thing.” The idiot then lifted his clothes and noisily filled the earthenware dish. The sound was like that of a torrent pouring down a mountainside. Friar Sand half filled the earthen jar.

Then they all straightened their clothes, sat down again, and said, “Come and receive the holy water, young immortals.”

The Taoist elders then pushed the screens aside and kowtowed in worship and gratitude. When the jar was carried out and put together with the vase and the dish they called, “Disciples, fetch me a cup to try some.” The younger Taoists fetched a teacup and handed it to the elders. The elder filled the cup, drained it, and made a show of wiping his mouth and smacking his lips.

“Is it good, brother?” asked Deer Power.

Pursing his lips together, the most senior of the elders said, “Not very. Tastes a bit off.”

“Let me have a taste,” said Antelope Power. When he had drunk a mouthful he said, “Tastes rather like pig's urine.”

When Monkey heard this from where he was sitting up there he realized that his plans had been foiled. “I'm going to play a trick just for the hell of it for them to remember me by.” Then he shouted:

“Oh, Way, Oh Way, what nonsense you imagine. What Three Pure Ones would ever descend to earth? Let me tell you our real names. We are Buddhist monks from the Great Tang, travelling West on imperial orders. Having nothing else to do this pleasant evening we decided to come down to your temple halls. We had eaten the offerings and were sitting here chatting when you started kowtowing to us and worshipping us. How did you expect us to reply. What you've been drinking there isn't holy water—it's our piss.”

Hearing this the Taoist priests shut the doors and started throwing rakes, brooms, tiles and stones wildly into the hall. Splendid Brother Monkey tucked Friar Sand under his left arm and Pig under his right, rushed out through the door and rode his cloud straight back to the abbot's lodgings in the Deep Wisdom Monastery. The three of them went back to bed without disturbing their master.

It was soon the third quarter of the fifth watch, when the king held his dawn court audience, at which the civil and military officials and the four hundred courtiers were all assembled under the crimson light of the silken lanterns and amid clouds of smoke from the incense burners.

At just this time the Tang Priest woke up and called, “Disciples, come with me when I go to show my passport and obtain an exit permit.” Monkey, Pig and Friar Sand got out of bed and into their clothes quickly, then stood waiting in attendance on the master.

“Master,” Monkey reported, “the king here trusts those Taoist priests. He promotes the Way and persecutes Buddhist monks. I'm afraid that if you say the wrong thing he'll refuse you an exit permit. We had better escort you to the palace.”

The Tang Priest was delighted with this suggestion. He put on his brocade cassock, Monkey took the passport, Pig carried the begging bowl and Friar Sand the monastic staff. The luggage and the horse were entrusted to the care of the monks of the Deep Wisdom Monastery. They went straight to the Tower of Five Phoenixes at the palace gate, where they bowed to the eunuch on duty and told him their names. They said that they were monks from Great Tang in the East on their way to fetch the scriptures who had come to show their papers and obtain an exit permit, and they asked him to pass the message on.

The officer of the gate went straight to the throne hall where he prostrated himself by the steps and reported, “There are four monks outside awaiting Your Majesty's command by the Tower of Five Phoenixes. They say they are from the Great Tang in the East and going to fetch scriptures.” To this the king replied, “Do they have to come looking for their deaths here? Can't they do it anywhere else? Why didn't the police capture them and bring them here under arrest?”

The king's tutor slipped forward to submit this memorial: “Great Tang in the East is in the Southern Continent of Jambu. It is known as the great land of China. It is over three thousand miles from here, and the way is beset with many a demon. These monks must have some magic powers if they dared to travel West. I beg You Majesty to receive these monks who have come from the far country of China, inspect their travel papers, and let them proceed. Then you will be preserving good relations with China.” The king approved this suggestion. The Tang Priest and his disciples were summoned to the throne hall, where they stood in a row before the steps and submitted their travel document to the king.

The king had just opened the document and started reading it when the eunuch gate officer came in to report again, “The three Teachers of the Nation are here.” This threw the king into such a fluster that he put the paper away, hurried down from the throne, told his attendants to fetch embroidered stools, and went out to meet the Taoist masters.

Sanzang and his disciples turned round to look and saw the three Great Immortals come majestically in, followed by a pair of page boys with their hair in bunches. They walked straight in while the civil and military officers all bowed low, not daring to look up.

As they entered the throne hall they did not deign to bow to the king, who asked them, “Teachers of the Nation, why have you honoured us with your presence although we have not yet invited you?”

“I have something to report,” the most senior of the Taoists replied. “Where are those four Buddhist monks from?”

“They have been sent from Great Tang in the East to fetch the scriptures from the Western Heaven,” the king replied, “and they are here to obtain an exit permit.” The three Taoists clapped their hands with delight at this news.

“We thought they had already gone, but they are still here.”

“What do you mean, Teachers?” the king asked in astonishment. “They have only just come to report their names. I was on the point of handing them over to you to use as you will when my tutor made a very sensible suggestion. Out of consideration for the great distance they have come and also to preserve good relations with the land of China I sent for them a moment ago and was just examining their papers when you three Teachers raised this question. Have they offended or harmed you?”

To this the Taoist replied with a smile, “What Your Majesty does not yet know is that they arrived yesterday, killed two of our disciples outside the East Gate, released the five hundred captive Buddhist monks, smashed our cart, broke into our temple at night, destroyed the statues of the Three Pure Ones, and stole their offerings. We were so deceived by them that we though they were Heavenly Honoured Ones come down to earth and asked them for holy water and elixir pills to present to Your Majesty in the hope of securing eternal life for you. We never expected them to make fools of us by giving us urine. We each drank a mouthful to taste, but when we tried to capture them they escaped. If they are still here now it's a case of meeting your enemy on a narrow road.” All this made the king so angry that he ordered the execution of the four monks.

The Great Sage Monkey put his hands together and began to yell at the top of his voice, “Please hold back your thunderous wrath for a moment, Your Majesty, and allow us Buddhist monks to make our submission.”

“You have offended the Teachers of the Nation,” the king replied, “and what they say is always right.”

“He accuses me of coming here yesterday and killing two of his disciples,” said Monkey. “What witnesses does he have? Even if we admitted the killing you need only execute two of us monks to pay for their lives and you could release the other two to fetch the scriptures. He doesn't have any witnesses either for his accusations that I smashed their cart and freed the captive monks. Even if I had done, that wouldn't be a capital offence. To punish one more of us would be enough. When he says I destroyed the statues of the Three Pure Ones and made havoc in the Taoist temple he's deliberately trying to frame and murder me.”

“Why?” the king asked.

“We are all from the East,” Monkey replied, “and have only just arrived here. We don't even know our way round the streets, so how could we possibly know what happened in his temple in the middle of the night? If we had given them some piss they should have arrested us on the spot. They shouldn't make up these terrible accusations now. There are any number of people in the world who give false names. He could not possibly tell that it was me. I hope Your Majesty will turn your wrath aside and have these charges properly investigated.” The king had been wild with fury before, but now that he had heard what Monkey had to say he could not make up his mind.

As the king was wondering what to do the eunuch gate officer came in once more to report, “Your Majesty, there is a crowd of village elders outside the gates awaiting your summons.”

“What do they want?” the king asked, and ordered them to be sent in.

Thirty or forty of them were brought before the throne hall, where they kowtowed to the king and said, “Your Majesty, there has been no rain this spring and we fear a drought this summer. We have come here to submit a request to Your Majesty that you invite the Teachers of the Nation to pray for timely rain that will save the common people.”

“You may withdraw,” said the king. “There will be rain.” The elders thanked him for his mercy and withdrew. “Tang monks,” said the king, “do you know why we honour the Way and persecute Buddhist monks? When the Buddhist monks of this country prayed for rain some years ago they did not get a single drop. It was fortunate that Heaven sent down to us the Teachers of the Nation to bring help and deliverance. You have come from afar and offended the Teachers of the Nation, and you thoroughly deserve to be punished for it. If I spare you for the time being, will you enter a rainmaking competition with the Teachers of the Nation? If you can bring about a good fall of rain that saves the common people we shall pardon your crimes, return your paper, and let you go. If you fail you will all be taken to the place of execution and publicly executed.”

“We humble monks know how to pray for things,” said Monkey with a smile.

 

Hearing this, the king ordered that the altars be swept clean and sent for his carriage as he was going to watch the ritual from the Tower of Five Phoenixes. The officials then moved him in his carriage to the tower, where he was soon seated. The Tang Priest stood at the foot of the tower with Monkey, Friar Sand and Pig, while the three Taoist masters sat with the king in the tower. Before long an official galloped in to report, “Everything is ready at the altar. Will the Teacher of the Nation please come to the altar?”

The Great Immortal Tiger Power bowed to take his leave of the king and descended from the tower. Brother Monkey blocked his way and said, “Where are you going, sir?”

“To the altar to pray for rain,” the immortal replied.

“You're being too arrogant,” said Monkey. “Why don't you show some courtesy to us monks from far away? Oh well, 'a mighty dragon can't crush a snake in its lair.' You go first, but you'll have to explain to His Majesty.”

“Explain what?” the Great Immortal asked.

“If we both pray for rain at the altar,” Monkey replied, “how will we know whether it's your rain or mine? It'll be hard to tell who should get the credit.” When the king heard this up on his tower he was discreetly delighted as he said, “That little monk talks sense.”

Friar Sand too hid a smile as he thought, “The king doesn't realize that Monkey hasn't even started showing how much sense he has in him.”

“No explanations will be needed,” said the immortal. “Of course His Majesty will know whose the rain is.”

“I'm sure he will,” said Monkey, “but we monks from far away have never met you before. If later on both sides made false claims that would be terrible. We must have it all sorted out before we start.”

“When I go to the altar,” said the Great Immortal, “this magic wand of mine will give the signal. When it first sounds, the wind will come. The second time the clouds will rise. The third time it will bring thunder and lightning. The fourth time it will rain. The fifth time the clouds will break up and the rain will finish.”

“Splendid,” said Monkey with a laugh. “I've never seen anything like that. Please go ahead.”

The Great Immortal then strode straight to the gates of the altar compound followed by Sanzang and his disciples. They looked up to see a raised terrace over thirty feet high. To the left and right of it were planted banners bearing the sign of the twenty-eight zodiacal constellations, and clouds of fragrant smoke rose from an incense-burner on a table set at the highest point on the altar. At each end of the table was a candle-holder with candles burning brightly. Beside the incense-burner was a golden tablet inscribed with the titles of the gods of thunder, and below the burner were five great vats all filled with clean water. Sprigs of willow floated on them, and on the willow was an iron plaque bearing the talisman of the Commander of Thunder. To the left and right of these were five stout posts on which were written the names of the five barbarian thunder heralds. By each post stood two Taoist priests ready to strike them with iron hammers. Behind the terrace many Taoist priests were writing things out, and in the middle of them was a stove for burning paper and some model figures representing the messengers who carried the charms and the local gods who supported the Taoist teachings.

The Great Immortal walked straight into the altar enclosure and without any show of modesty went straight up the altar mound and took his place. A young Taoist at his side handed him several yellow pieces of paper that had spells written on them and a precious sword. Holding the sword the Great Immortal recited a spell and burnt a spell on a candle. Two or three of the young Taoists standing below the altar mound passed him a model figure holding a spell and a written document, both of which he also lit and burnt. Then there was a loud report from the wand, and up in the sky the signs of a wind blowing up could be seen.

“This is bad,” muttered Pig. “The Taoist really has got some powers. He just had to sound his wand once to make the wind blow.”

“Keep quiet, brothers,” said Monkey, “and don't say anything else to me. Look after the master while I get busy.”

The splendid Great Sage then plucked out one of his hairs, blew on it with magic breath, called “Change!” and turned it into an imitation Monkey who stood by the Tang Priest while his true self escaped, rose up into the air and shouted, “Who's in charge of the wind?” This threw Granny Wind into such a fluster that she held her cloth bag closed while Young Master Xun tied the string round the mouth. They both came forward and bowed to him.

“I'm protecting the holy priest from Tang on his journey to the Western Heaven to fetch the scriptures,” Monkey said. “We're now having a rainmaking competition with an evil Taoist in the country of Tarrycart. Why are you helping him instead of me? If you put your wind away I'll let you off, but if there's even enough wind to move a whisker in that Taoist's beard I'll give you twenty strokes each with my iron cudgel.”

“We wouldn't dare help him,” said Granny Wind, and the wind then stopped.

In his impatience Pig started to yell wildly, “Give up, give up. You've sounded your wand and there's not a breath of wind. Come down now and let us go up.”

Once again the Taoist took his magic wand, burnt spells, and made a report with the wand. The sky filled with clouds.

“Who's spreading the clouds out?” the Great Sage asked up overhead. Boy Cloudpusher and Young Lord Mistspreader bowed to him. Once again Monkey explained what had happened; Cloudpusher and Mistspreader put the clouds away, and the sun shone brightly once more in a clear sky.

“This teacher has been fooling the king and hoodwinking the common people,” laughed Pig. “He doesn't really have any powers at all. His wand has sounded for the second time, and there's not a cloud to be seen.”

By now the Taoist was getting anxious. Leaning on his sword he let down his hair, said the words of a spell, and cracked his magic wand for the third time. From the Southern Gate of Heaven the Heavenly Lord Deng led Grandfather Thunder and Mother Lightning to bow to Monkey in mid-air. Monkey told them what had happened and asked, “Why are you being so dutiful? What sort of orders are they you're obeying?”

“That Taoist really does know the Five Laws of Thunder,” the Heavenly Lord Deng replied. “He issued the right document, burned the summons, and alarmed the Jade Emperor, who issued an edict to the offices of the Universal Honoured One of the Ninth Heaven Who Responds to the Primal with the Sound of Thunder. We are going on imperial orders to help Grandfather Thunder and Mother Lightning make rain.”

“In that case you'd better stay where you are and let me sort things out,” said Monkey; and indeed the thunder did not sound, nor did the lightning flash.

The Taoist was becoming more anxious than ever. He lit more incense-sticks, burnt charms, said incantations, and sounded his wand once more. The dragon kings of the four seas all gathered in mid-air. “Where are you going, Ao Guang?” Monkey asked. The four dragon kings Ao Guang, Ao Shun, Ao Qin and Ao Run came up and bowed to him.

He told them what had happened then said, “When I troubled you the other day you didn't succeed. I hope you will help me again today.”

“We hear and obey,” replied the dragon kings.

Monkey then thanked Ao Shun: “I am very grateful to your son for capturing the monster and saving my master the other day.”

“That wretch is being kept in chains in the sea,” the dragon king Ao Shun replied. “I have not ventured to deal with him on my own initiative, and I would like to ask you, Great Sage, to decide on his sentence.”

“Deal with him however you think fit,” replied Monkey. “Now I would like you to do me a good turn. That Taoist has now sounded his wand four times, so it's my turn to perform now. As I don't know how to use charms, burn talismans, or sound a magic wand I'll have to ask you gentlemen to help me out.”

“We would not dare disobey a command from the Great Sage,” Heavenly Lord Deng replied. “But we can only act when proper orders are given. Otherwise the thunder and the rain will happen at the wrong times, and the Great Sage will lose his credibility.”

“I'll give the signs with my cudgel,” said Monkey, to the horror of Grandfather Thunder, who protested, “But my lord, none of us can take your cudgel.”

“No,” said Monkey, “I won't be hitting you with it. When I point up with it the first time I want wind.”

“We'll let the wind out,” promised Granny Wind and Young Master Xun.

“The second time I point up I want clouds.”

“We'll spread out the clouds,” said Cloudpusher and Mistspreader.

“The third time I point up with the cudgel I want thunder and lightning.”

“We shall obey, we shall obey,” said Grandfather Thunder and Mother Lightning.

“The fourth time I point up with the cudgel I want rain.”

“Your orders will be carried out,” the dragon kings replied.

“And the fifth time I point up with the cudgel I want the sun shining in a clear sky. I won't have any disobedience or mistakes.”

Having given his orders Monkey brought his cloud down, shook his hair, and put it back on his body. None of those with mortal, fleshly eyes could see what had happened. Monkey then called out in a loud voice, “Please finish now, teacher. You have sounded your magic wand four times without producing any wind, clouds, thunder or rain. It's my turn now.” The Taoist could stay at the altar no longer; he had to come down and allow Monkey to take his place while he went with a long face to climb the tower to see the king. “Wait while I go up with him and hear what he has to say,” said Monkey.

He heard the king asking, “Why was there no wind or rain when you sounded your magic wand four times? We are listening most carefully.”

“The dragons are all out today,” the Taoist replied.

“Your Majesty,” yelled Monkey, “today the dragons are all in. It was just that the Teacher of the Nation's magic didn't work and he couldn't get them to come. Just watch how we Buddhist monks can make them come.”

“Climb to the altar then,” said the king. “We shall remain here and await rain.”

As soon as he received this command Brother Monkey hurried to the altar compound, tugged at the Tang Priest's clothes, and said, “Master, please climb the altar mound.”

“But I do not know how to pray for rain, disciple,” said Sanzang.

“He's trying to murder you,” said Pig. “If there's still no rain they'll bring firewood along and send you up in flames.”

“You may not know how to pray for rain,” said Monkey, “but you're good at reciting scriptures. I'll help you.” Only then did the venerable elder start to climb to the altar. When he reached the top he sat down with great dignity, settled his nature, brought his spirit under control, and quietly recited the Prajna-paramita Heart Sutra. As he sat there an official messenger galloped up to him to ask, “Monk, why aren't you sounding a magic wand or burning charms and summonses?”

“He doesn't need to,” Monkey shouted back. “We pray in stillness and silence.” The official returned to the king to report this reply.

When Monkey heard that his master had finished reciting the sutra he produced his cudgel from his ear, waved it in the breeze to make it about twelve feet long and as thick as a ricebowl, and pointed it towards the sky. As soon as Granny Wind saw it she opened her leather bag while Young Master Xun untied the rope round its mouth. There was then the howling of a wind that tore off tiles and sent bricks flying throughout the city. It was evidently a splendid wind, not at all like ordinary ones:

 

Willow were broken and flowers hurt,

Trees blown down in devastated woods.

The walls collapsed in halls of nine stories;

Beams and columns were shaken in the Five Phoenix Tower.

In the sky the red sun turned dark,

And the yellow dust of the earth began to fly.

The officers before the reviewing stand were scared;

Terror struck the civil officials in their hall.

The beauties of the harem had their hair blown untidy;

The royal consorts' coiffures were all ruined.

Tassels fell from the coronets of nobles;

The black silk hat of the premier took wing.

The king was too terrified to speak,

The eunuchs could not hand in their reports.

Senior officials stood in disorder,

High-level functionaries broke ranks.

Coloured pavilions and turquoise screens were ruined;

Green windows and crimson doors were wrecked.

Bricks and tiles flew from the throne hall;

In the Brocade Cloud Chamber doors leaned and partition were smashed.

Vicious indeed was this terrible gale,

Making hard for the king to see his sons,

And driving the people from streets and markets:

Every household firmly shut its doors.

 

Just as this gale was at its height Brother Monkey gave another display of his divine powers as he pointed his gold-banded cudgel up into the sky for the second time. What could then be seen was:

 

The Boy Cloudpusher,

Young Lord Mistspreader.

The Boy Cloudpusher showed his divine magic,

Making great rocklike heaps that hung down from the sky;

Young Lord Mistspreader used his powers .

To cover the earth with thick, dense fog.

All was dark in the three markets;

Black were the six main streets of the city.

Leaving the sea together with the wind,

They appeared with the rain in the Kunlun Mountains,

Filled heaven and earth in an instant,

Immediately covered the mortal world.

All was reduced to obscurity

And the doors of the Five Phoenix Tower disappeared.

 

In an instant there was dense fog and thick clouds everywhere. Monkey then pointed his gold-banded cudgel into the air a third time, with alarming results:

 

Grandfather Thunder was angry,

Mother Lightning was furious.

Grandfather Thunder was angry

As he rode backwards on his fire beast down from Heaven;

Mother Lightning was furious

As she left her Dipper Palace lashing out with her golden snake.

The thunder crashed and roared,

Shaking the Iron Fork Mountain;

Brilliant flashes of red silk

Flew from the Eastern Ocean.

The noise rumbled like carts;

The flashes were like rice plants gleaming in the wind.

The spirit of all living shoots revived,

Many a sleeping insect came to life.

It terrified monarch and subject alike;

The sound made merchants nervously active.

 

The thunder roared with the noise of an earthquake or a landslide, so frightening the people in the city that they all burnt incense and imitation money. “Deng,” shouted Monkey familiarly, “make sure that you kill me a few more corrupt officials who twist the laws and disobedient sons who do not do their duty to their parents as an example to the people.” The thunder became louder than ever, and Monkey pointed his cudgel upwards for the fourth time.

 

The dragons gave their orders

And ram filled Heaven and earth,

As if the river in the sky was filling the heavenly gulf,

And as fast as clouds passing over the ocean's gates.

It pattered on the roof of the tower,

Splashed against the windows.

Now that the river in the sky had flooded,

White waves rolled along the streets.

They moved around like a dish being picked up,

Splashed like water being tipped from a bowl.

The lonely farm's houses were almost covered by the flood,

Which was nearly as high as the bridge across the river.

The mulberry fields indeed were turning into sea,

And dry land was under water in an instant.

This was the help the dragons gave,

As they lifted the Yangtse and poured the water down.

 

The rain started at about eight in the morning and lasted till around noon, by when all the streets inside and outside the capital of Tarrycart were running with water. The king then issued a command: “Enough rain has fallen now. If there is any more the growing crops will be drowned and it will be a disaster.”

The officer on duty at the foot of the Tower of Five Phoenixes whipped his horse and rode through the rain to say, “Holy monk, that is enough rain.” Hearing this, Monkey pointed his gold-banded cudgel towards the sky again, and at once the thunder stopped, the wind fell, the rain ceased and the clouds scattered.

The king was delighted, and all the civil and military officials said in admiration, “What a marvellous monk. How true it is that however good you are at something there's always somebody better. Our Teachers of the Nation are very effective at making rain, but when they ask for fine weather the drizzle goes on for hours before clearing up. However can this monk make the skies clear the moment he gives the word, so that the sun shines bright on the instant and there isn't a cloud to be seen for miles around?”

The king ordered that his carriage be taken back to the court, where he would return the Tang Priest's passport with an exit permit and allow him to go. Just when he was placing the royal seal on the document the three Taoists came in to stop him, saying, “Your Majesty, that rain was caused not by the monk but by our efforts.”

“But you told me earlier that it did not rain because the dragon kings were not at home,” said the king. “When the Buddhist monk went up to the altar and prayed in stillness and silence the rain came. How can you possibly try to take the credit from him?”

“When I went to the altar, burnt the charms and summonses and sounded my magic wand,” the Great Immortal Tiger Power said, “the dragon kings would not have dared stay away. No doubt they had been called elsewhere, which was why the authorities in charge of wind, cloud, thunder and rain were all out. When they heard my order they hurried here, which happened to be just when I was coming down from the altar and he was going up to it. It was a coincidence that it rained then. Essentially it was I who summoned the dragons and made it rain. The credit can't possibly go to him.” In his confusion the king took this suggestion seriously and was once again unable to make up his mind.

Monkey took a step forward, put his hands together in front of his chest, and said, “Your Majesty, these heterodox magic tricks achieved nothing; the credit is neither his nor mine. But the dragon kings of the four seas are still in the sky here. I haven't sent them away, and they wouldn't dare leave on their own initiative. If the Teacher of the Nation can make the dragon kings appear he can take the credit.”

This delighted the king, who said, “In the twenty-three years we have been on the throne we have never seen what a live dragon looks like. You must both display your magic powers. Whoever can make them come, be he Taoist or Buddhist, will have the credit; and whoever fails will be punished.”

Of course that Taoists did not have the power. In the presence of the Great Sage the dragon kings would not have dared show their faces in response to a call from the Taoists. “We cannot do it,” said the Taoists. “You summon them.”

The Great Sage looked up to the sky and yelled at the top of his voice, “Where are you, Ao Guang? You and your brothers must show yourselves to me in your true forms.” On hearing this summons the dragon kings soon appeared in their true forms; writhing through the mist and clouds in the sky they danced through the air to the throne hall. This was what could be seen:

 

Flying transformations,

Coiling through the clouds.

Their jade claws hung like white hooks,

Their silver scales danced with the brightness of mirrors.

Vigor was in every strand of their floating white beards;

And their horns rose proud and full of purity.

Lofty were their foreheads,

Bright shone their round, round eyes.

None can predict their appearance;

Their flight is beyond appraisal.

But when the rain was prayed for, it fell,

And the skies cleared as soon as requested.

These were holy and magical dragons,

Surrounding the palace with numinous radiance.

 

The king burnt incense in his palace hall and the ministers bowed low in worship before the steps. “Now that your noble selves have granted us your presence we need detain you no longer,” said the king. “We shall have a thanksgiving mass said another day.”

“All you gods may now go too,” said Monkey. “The king will have a thanksgiving mass said another day.” The dragon kings went straight back to their oceans, and the gods all returned to Heaven. Indeed:

 

Great and boundless is the wonderful Dharma;

False faiths are smashed when its truth is revealed.

 

If you don't know how evil was eliminated, listen to the explanation in the next installment.