The Evil Monster's Treasures Emit Smoke,

Sand and Fire Wukong Steals the Golden Bells by Trickery

The story tells how Brother Monkey summoned up his divine prestige and rose up into the air on his magic light, wielding his iron cudgel. “Where are you from, evil monster?” he asked, shouting in the evil spirit's face. “And where are you going to wreak havoc?”

“I'm the vanguard warrior under the Great King Evil Star Matcher from Horndog Cave on Mount Unicorn,” shouted the demon at the top of his voice, “that's who I am. His Majesty has ordered me to fetch two ladies-in-waiting to serve Her Majesty the Golden Queen. Who are you and how dare you question me?”

“I'm Sun Wukong, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven,” Monkey replied. “I was passing through this country while escorting the Tang Priest to worship the Buddha in the Western Heaven. Now I know that your gang of monsters was oppressing the king I'm going to use my heroic powers to bring the country back to order and wipe out this evil. And now you've come along to throw your life away just when I didn't know where to find you.” When the monster heard this he foolishly thrust his spear at Monkey, who struck back at his face with the iron cudgel. They fought a splendid battle up in mid-air:

 

The cudgel was the sea-settler from the dragon's palace;

The spear was of iron tempered by mankind.

An ordinary weapon was no match for that of an immortal;

In a few clashes its magic powers all drained away.

The Great Sage was an immortal of the Supreme Ultimate;

The spirit was only an evil monster.

How could a demon approach a True One?

In the face of truth the evil would be destroyed.

One stirred up wind and dust to terrify a king;

The other trod on mist and cloud to blot out sun and moon.

When they dropped their guard to try for victory

Neither of them dared to show off.

The Heaven-equaling Great Sage was the abler fighter:

With a loud clash of his cudgel the spear was broken.

 

When his spear was quickly broken in two by Monkey's iron cudgel the evil spirit was in fear for his life, so he turned the wind right round and fled Westwards.

Instead of chasing him Monkey brought his cloud down to the entrance of the underground demon shelter. “Master,” he called, “you and His Majesty can come out now. The monster's run away.” Only then did the Tang Priest come out of the underground shelter, supporting the king. The sky was clear, and all traces of the evil spirit had disappeared.

The king went over to the table, filled a golden goblet from the wine bottle with his own hands, and presented it to Monkey with the words, “Holy monk, allow us to offer our provisional thanks.”

Monkey took the cup, but before he could reply an official came in from outside the Western gate of the palace to report, “The Western gate is on fire.”

As soon as he heard this Monkey threw the wine, cup and all, up into the air. The cup fell with a clang. This so alarmed the king that he bowed to Monkey with the words, “Forgive us, holy monk, forgive us. We have treated you shabbily. The proper thing would have been to ask you into the throne hall to bow to you in thanks. We only offered you the wine here because it was to hand. Did you not throw the goblet aside because you were offended, holy monk?”

“Nothing of the sort,” laughed Monkey, “nothing of the sort.”

A moment later another official came in to report, “There's been a miraculous fall of rain. No sooner had the Western gate caught fire than a heavy rainstorm put it out. The streets are running with water and it all smells of wine.”

“Your Majesty,” said Monkey with another smile, “you thought I'd taken offence when I tossed the cup aside, but you were wrong. When the evil spirit fled Westwards I didn't go after him, so he started that fire. I just used the goblet to put out the demon's fire and save the people outside the Western gate. It didn't mean anything else.”

The king, even more delighted than before, treated Monkey with still greater respect. He invited Sanzang and his three disciples to enter the throne hall with him, clearly intending to abdicate in their favour.

“Your Majesty,” said Brother Monkey with a smile, “the demon who was here just now said he was a vanguard warrior under the Evil Star Matcher who'd come here to fetch palace girls. Now he's gone back beaten he's bound to report that damned monster, who's certain to come here to fight me. I'm worried that if he comes here at the head of his hordes he'll alarm the common people and terrify Your Majesty. I'd like to go out to meet him, capture him in mid-air and bring back your queen. But I don't know the way. How far is it to his cave from here?”

“We once sent some of the horsemen and infantry of our night scouts to find out what was happening,” the king replied. “The return journey took them over fifty days. It's over a thousand miles away to the South.”

“Pig, Friar Sand,” said Monkey on learning this, “stay on guard here. I'm off.”

“Wait another day, holy monk,” said the king, grabbing hold of him. “Don't go till we have had some dried provisions prepared for you. We'll give you silver for the journey and a fast horse too.”

“You're talking as if I'd have to go slogging up mountains and over ridges, Your Majesty,” Monkey replied. “I tell you truthfully that I can do the return journey of a thousand miles each way before a cup of wine you've poured out has had time to get cold.”

“Holy monk,” the king replied, “I hope you won't take offence at our saying this, but your distinguished features are very much like those of an ape. How can you have such magical powers of travel?” To this Monkey replied:

 

“Although my body is the body of an ape,

When young I mastered the paths of life and death.

1 visited all the great teachers who taught me their Way

And trained myself by night and day beside the mountain.

I took heaven as my roof and the earth as my furnace

And used both kinds of drug to complete the sun and moon,

Taking from positive and negative, joining fire and water,

Until suddenly I-was aware of the Mystic Pass.

1 relied entirely on the Dipper for success in my movements,

Shifting my steps by relying on the handle of that constellation.

When the time is right I lower or increase the heat,

Taking out lead and adding mercury, watching them both.

By grouping the Five Elements transformations are made;

Through combining the Four Forms the seasons can be distinguished.

The two vital forces returned to the zodiac;

The three teachings met on the golden elixir road.

When understanding of the laws came to the four limbs

The original somersault was given divine assistance.

With a single bound I could cross the Taihang mountains;

At one go I could fly across the Cloud-touching Ford.

A thousand steep ridges are no bother to me,

Nor hundreds of rivers as great as the Yangtse.

Because my transformations are impossible to stop

I can cover sixty thousand miles in a single leap.

 

The king was both alarmed and delighted to hear this. He presented a cup of royal wine to Monkey with a chuckle and the words, “Holy monk, you have a long and tiring journey ahead of you. Won't you drink this wine to help you on your way?”

All the Great Sage had on his mind was going off to defeat the demon, he was not at all interested in drinking. “Put it down,” he said. “I'll drink it when I come back.” No sooner had the splendid Monkey said this than he disappeared with a whoosh. We will not describe the amazement of the king and his subjects.

 

Instead we tell how with a single leap Monkey was soon in sight of a tall mountain locked in mists. He brought his cloud down till he was standing on the summit. When he looked around he saw that it was a fine mountain:

 

Soaring to the heavens, occupying the earth,

Blocking out the sun and making clouds.

Where it soared to the heavens

The towering peak rose high;

In the earth it occupied

Its ranges spread afar.

What blocked the sun

Was the ridge dark with pines;

Where clouds were made

Was among the boulders glistening underneath the scar.

The dark pines

Were green throughout all seasons;

The glistening boulders

Would never change in many a thousand years.

Apes could often be heard howling in the night,

And evil pythons would often cross the deep ravines.

On the mountains birds sang sweetly

While the wild beasts roared.

Mountain roebuck and deer

Moved around in many a pair.

Mountain magpies and crows

Flew in dense flocks.

There was no end of mountain flowers in sight,

While mountain peaches and other fruit gleamed in season.

Steep it was, and the going impossible,

But this was still a place where evil immortals could live in retirement.

 

The Great Sage gazed with unbounded delight and was just about to look for the entrance to the cave when flames leapt out from a mountain hollow. In an instant the red fire blazed to the heavens, and from the flames there poured out evil smoke that was even more terrible than the fire. What splendid smoke! This is what could be seen:

 

The fire glared with a myriad golden lamps;

The flames leapt in a thousand crimson rainbows.

The smoke was not a stove chimney's smoke,

Nor the smoke of grass or wood,

But smoke of many colours,

Blue, red, white, black and yellow.

It blackened the columns outside the Southern Gate of Heaven,

Scorched the roofbeams in the Hall of Miraculous Mist.

It burned so hard that

Wild beasts in their dens were cooked through, skins and all,

And the forest birds lost all their plumage.

At the mere sight of this appalling smoke he wondered

How the demon king could be captured in the mountain.

 

Just as the Great Sage was transfixed with terror a sandstorm burst out of the mountain. What magnificent sand! It blotted out the sun and the sky. Look:

 

Swirling masses of it filled the sky,

Dark and turbid as it covered the earth.

The fine grains blinded the people everywhere,

While bigger cinders filled the valleys like rolling sesame seeds.

Immortal boys collecting herbs lost their companions;

Woodmen gathering firewood could not find their way home.

Even if you were holding a bright-shining pearl

It still would have blown too hard for you to see.

 

Monkey had been so absorbed in enjoying the view that he did not notice the sand and cinders flying into his nose till it started tickling. Giving two great sneezes he stretched his hand out behind him, felt for two pebbles at the foot of a cliff and blocked his nostrils with them, then shook himself and turned into a fire-grabbing sparrowhawk that flew straight in among the flames and smoke, made a few swoops, and at once stopped the sand and cinders and put out the fires. He quickly turned back into himself, landed, and looked around again. This time he heard a banging and a clanging like a copper gong.

“I've come the wrong way,” he said to himself. “This is no den of demons. The gong sounds like an official messenger's gong. This must be the main road to some country, and that I must be an official messenger on his way to deliver some document. I'll go and question him.”

As Monkey went along what looked like a young demon appeared. He was holding a yellow flag, carrying a document on his back and beating a gong as he hurried along so fast he was almost flying. “So this is the so-and-so who was beating that gong,” Monkey said. “I wonder what document he's delivering. I'll ask him.”

The splendid Great Sage shook himself and turned into a grasshopper that lightly flew over and alighted on his document bag. Here Monkey could hear the evil spirit talking garrulously to himself as he beat the gong. “Our king is thoroughly vicious. Three years ago he took the Golden Queen from the Kingdom of Purpuria, but fate's been against him and he hasn't been able to get his hands on her. The poor palace ladies he took had to suffer on her behalf. He killed two of them who came, then the next four. He demanded them the year before last, last year and earlier this year. When he sent for two more this time he found his match. The vanguard warrior who went to demand the palace ladies was beaten by someone called Sun the Novice or whatever. He didn't get his palace girls. It made our king so angry he wants to wage a war on Purpuria. He's sent me with this declaration of war. Their king will be all right if he doesn't fight, but if he does fight it'll be a disaster for him. When our king uses his fire, smoke and sandstorms their king, ministers and common people will all die. Then we'll take over their city. Our king will be its monarch and we'll be his subjects. But even though we'll get official posts it goes against Heaven.”

Monkey was very pleased to hear this. “So there are even some decent evil spirits,” he thought. “That last remark—'it goes against Heaven'—was very good. I wonder what he meant when he said that fate has been against their king and he hasn't been able to get his hands on the Golden Queen. Let me ask him some questions.” With a whining buzz he flew away from the evil spirit to a point some miles ahead of him on the road, shook himself and turned into a Taoist boy:

 

He wore his hair in two bunches

And a robe of a hundred patches.

He beat on a fisherman's drum

As he sang some Taoist snatches.

As Monkey came round the slope towards the little devil he raised his hands in greeting and said, “Where are you going, sir? What official document is that you're delivering?”

The devil seemed to recognize him as he stopped beating his gong, returned his greeting and said with a titter, “Our king's sent me to Purpuria with a declaration of war.”

“Has that woman from Purpuria slept with the king yet?” Monkey asked, pressing on with his questioning.

“When he brought her here the other year,” the little devil replied, “an immortal gave the Golden Queen a magic robe as her wedding dress. As soon as she put it on she was covered from head to foot with spike. Our king didn't dare so much as caress her. Even the slightest touch makes his hand hurt. I don't know why it happened. So from that year till this he hasn't had her. When his vanguard fighter was sent this morning to demand two more palace ladies to serve her he was beaten. Our king was so angry he sent me with this declaration of war. He's going to fight him tomorrow.”

“So is the king in a bad mood?” Monkey asked.

“Yes, he's in a bad mood back there,” said the little devil. “You ought to go and sing him some Taoist songs to cheer him-up.” The splendid Monkey put his arms in his sleeves, ready to go, while the evil spirit went on his way beating his gong as before. Monkey then turned murderous. He brought out his cudgel, turned round and hit the little devil on the back of his head. The unfortunate demon's head was smashed to a pulp. The blood gushed out as his skin split open and his neck was broken. He was dead. Monkey then put his cudgel away and said to himself with regret.

“I was in too much of a hurry. I never asked him his name. Too bad.” He took the declaration of war from the body and put it in his sleeve. Then he hid the yellow flag and the gong in the undergrowth by the path and was dragging the body by its ankles to throw it down the ravine when he heard something clinking. An ivory tablet inlaid with gold could be seen at the demon's waist. The writing on it read:

 

This is our trusted subordinate Gocome. He is of short stature and has a spotty and unbearded face. This tablet is to be kept permanently at his waist. Anyone without this tablet is an impostor.

 

“So the wretch was called Gocome. But after being hit by this cudgel of mine he's gone and won't be coming back.” He then undid the ivory tablet, fastened it at his own waist, and was just about to throw the body down when he remembered the terrible fire and smoke and decided he could not bring himself to look for the cave palace. He raised the cudgel, rammed it into the demon's chest, lifted him up into the air and went straight back to Purpuria to announce his first success. Watch him as he goes whistling back to that country.

Pig was in front of the throne room guarding the king and his master when suddenly he turned round to see Monkey carrying the demon through the air. “Hey,” he complained, “that was an easy piece of work. If I'd known you were going to get him I'd have done it and got the credit.” Before he had finished speaking Monkey brought the cloud down and threw the demon at the foot of the steps.

Pig ran over and struck the body with his rake, “I'll take the credit for that,” he said.

“You? The credit?” Monkey replied.

“Don't try to rob me of it,” Pig said, “I've got proof. Can't you see the nine holes I made in him with my rake?”

“See if he's got a head,” said Monkey.

“So he doesn't have a head,” Pig replied. “Now I know why he never moved when I hit him.”

“Where's the master?” Monkey asked.

“Talking to the king in the throne hall,” said Pig.

“Go and ask him to come out,” said Monkey, and Pig hurried up into the hall.

At Pig's nod Sanzang rose to his feet and came out at once to see Monkey, who thrust the declaration of war into his sleeve with the words, “Look after this, Master, and don't let the king see it.”

Before the words were all out of his mouth the king too came out of the hall to greet Monkey and say, “You're back, holy monk, venerable sir. How did the capture of the demon go?”

“Isn't that a demon at the foot of the steps?” Monkey asked, pointing. “I killed him.”

“True,” said the king, “it is the body of an evil spirit, but it isn't the Evil Star Matcher. We have twice seen the Evil Star Matcher with our own eyes. He is eighteen feet tall and nine feet across the shoulders. His face shines like gold and his voice is like thunder. He's not a miserable little wretch like that.”

“You Majesty is right,” Monkey replied, “this isn't him. It's just a little messenger devil I happened to meet. I killed him and brought him back as a trophy.”

“Splendid,” said the king, who was very pleased indeed, “splendid. This is the first success. We have often sent people out to find out what is happening but they never discover anything. Then you just have to go out, holy monk, to bring one straight back. You really do have divine powers.”

“Fetch some warm wine,” he ordered, “and give it to the reverend gentlemen.”

“Never mind about the wine,” said Monkey. “I want to ask Your Majesty whether the Golden Queen left any keepsakes when she went. If so, give me some.” The word “keepsakes” cut the king to the heart. He could not help sobbing aloud with tears pouring down as he replied:

 

“When we were enjoying the festival that year

The Evil Star Matcher gave a mighty shout,

He took our wife to be his bandit queen;

To save the land we had to send her out.

We had no time for talk or parting words,

Nor could I see her off along her way.

She left no keepsake and no perfume bag;

We would be lonely here until today.”

 

“Your Majesty is here,” Monkey said, “so why upset yourself?” If the queen didn't leave any keepsake there must be some things in the palace that she's specially fond of. Give me one of them.”

“What do you want it for?” the king asked.

“That demon king's magic powers are quite something,” said Monkey, “and from what I've seen of his fire, smoke and sand he'll be really hard to capture. Even if I do capture him the queen might refuse to come back here with a stranger like me. I must have some favorite thing of hers so that she'll trust me and let me bring her back. That's why I want it.”

“There is a pair of gold bracelets in her dressing room in the Sunlight Palace that she used to wear,” the king replied. “She only took them off that day as it was the Dragonboat Festival and she was going to wear multicolored threads instead. She was very fond of those bracelets. They have been put away in her dressing table. We have not been able to bear the sight of them since she left us: seeing them is like seeing her lovely face, and it makes us feel even more ill than ever.”

“Say no more,” Monkey replied, “and have the bracelets brought here. If you can bring yourself to part with them, give me both. If you can't I'll take just one.” The king ordered the Jade Queen to fetch them, which she did, handing them to the king.

At the sight of them he called out, “My beloved and tender-hearted queen,” several times, then handed them to Monkey, who took them and put them on his arm.

The splendid Great Sage could not stay to drink the celebratory wine, but whistled back to Mount Unicorn on his somersault cloud. Now he had no interest in the view as he headed straight for the cave palace. While he was walking along he heard noisy shouts so he stopped to take a careful look around. About five hundred of the soldiers of all ranks guarding the entrance to Horndog Cave were

 

Drawn up in massed array,

In close order.

Drawn up in massed array they held their weapons

Gleaming in the sun.

In close order they unfurled their banners

That fluttered in the breeze.

Tiger and bear generals did transformations;

Leopard and tiger-cat marshals were full of spirit.

Fiercely savage were the wolves;

The elephants were mighty and imposing.

Crafty hares and water-deer swung sword and halberd;

Great snakes and pythons carried cutlass and bow.

Orangutans that understood human speech

Controlled the formations and gathered intelligence.

 

When Monkey saw this he ventured no closer but went straight back the way he had come. Do you know why? Not because he was afraid of them. He went back to where he had killed the little devil, recovered the yellow flag and the gong, made a hand spell, thought of what he wanted to become, faced the wind, shook himself and turned into the likeness of Gocome. Then he started hitting the gong as he strode straight back towards Horndog Cave.

He was going to look at the layout of the cave when he heard an orangutan say, “You're back, Gocome.”

“Yes,” Monkey had to reply.

“Hurry up,” the orangutan said. “Our king is waiting in the Flaying Pavilion to hear what you have to report.” As soon as he heard this Monkey hurried straight in through the main gate beating his gong and looking around. He saw that rooms and halls had been carved out of the beetling crag. On either side bloomed rare and precious flowers, while all around stood ancient cypresses and tall pines. Before he realized it he was through the inner gate, and suddenly looking up he saw a pavilion made light by the eight windows in it. In the pavilion was a splendid chair inlaid with gold on which a demon king was sitting upright. He was a truly terrifying sight. This is what he looked like:

 

A shimmering red glow rose from the top of his head;

A mighty and murderous air burst from his chest.

Sharp were the fangs that protruded from his mouth;

Red smoke rose from the scorched hair at his temples.

The bristles of his moustache were like embedded arrows;

His body was covered with hair like brushed-up felt.

Eyes bulged like bells to rival the Evil Star:

Hands held an iron mace like Mahadeva.

 

When Monkey saw the evil spirit he acted towards him in an offhand way, showing no trace of respect, but looking away and keeping on hitting his gong. “So you're back, are you?” said the demon king. Monkey did not reply.

“Gocome,” the demon king asked again, “you're back, are you?” Still Monkey did not reply. The demon king then went over to him, grabbed him and said, “Why are you still beating your gong now you're back home? And why don't you answer when I ask you a question?”

“What do you mean by your 'Why? Why? Why?'“ Monkey replied.

“I told you I didn't want to go but you insisted. When I got there I saw huge numbers of foot soldiers and cavalry drawn up in order of battle. As soon as I was spotted they shouted, 'Seize the demon! Seize the demon!' They pushed and shoved and dragged and carried me into the city, where I saw their king. He told them to cut my head off, but luckily his two groups of advisers said that in international conflicts envoys should not be executed, so I was spared. They took the declaration of war, marched me out of the city, gave me thirty strokes in front of their army, and let me come back here to report. Before long they'll be here to fight you.”

“In other words,” the monster said, “you had a bad time. I don't blame you for refusing to answer when I asked you those questions.”

“It wasn't that,” said Monkey. “The reason I didn't answer was because of the pain.”

“How strong are their forces?” the demon king asked.

“I was reeling from shock and too badly frightened by the beating to be able to count them,” Monkey replied. “All I could see were masses of weapons drawn up there:

 

Bows and arrows, spears and sabers, suits of armor,

Dagger-axes, halberds, swords and tasseled banners.

Pikes, partisans, helmets,

Axes, round shields, and iron caltrops.

Long staves,

Short cudgels,

Steel forks, cannons and casques.

They were wearing tall boots, hats and quilted jackets,

And carrying cudgels, small pellet-bows and maces of bronze.”

 

“That's neither here nor there,” laughed the demon king when he heard this. “Weapons like that can be finished off in a single blaze. Go and tell the Golden Queen all about it and ask her not to upset herself. Ever since she heard me lose my temper this morning and decide to go to war she's been crying her eyes out. Tell her that their army is so fierce and brave that they're bound to beat us. That'll calm her down for a while.”

This delighted Monkey, who thought, “Just what I want.” Watch him as he goes the way he knows, through the side door and across the hall. Inside there were tall buildings: it was not like outside. He went straight to the women's quarters at the back, where he saw from a distance a handsome and decorated doorway. That was where the Golden Queen lived. When he went to see her there were two groups of fox and deer spirits dressed like beautiful women to wait on her. The queen sat in the middle with her fragrant cheeks in her hands and tears pouring from both of her eyes. Indeed, she had

 

A beautiful face so soft and charming,

A bewitching countenance so fair.

But her raven-black hair was uncombed

And piled untidily on her head;

She did not want to dress up

And wore no hair ornaments or rings.

Her face was unpowdered,

And she wore no rouge.

Her hair was not oiled

But all in a tangle.

She pouted her cherry lips,

Ground her silver teeth,

Frowned with her brows like moth antennae,

And let her eyes sparkle with tears.

All her heart

Was filled with memories of Purpuria's king;

All the time

She longed to escape from the net that held her.

Truly,

Ill-fated have been many lovely ladies

Left in their wordless grief to face the Eastern wind.

Monkey went up to her and greeted her with a “Hello.”

 

“You impudent boorish freak,” said the queen. “I remember how when I was living in splendor with my king in Purpuria even the king's tutor and the prime minister had to prostrate themselves in the dust when they met me: they would never have dared look me in the face. How dare you say 'Hello' to me, you lout? Where are you from, you coarse beast?”

“Please don't be angry, ma'am,” the serving women said. “He's one of His Majesty's most trusted lieutenants. His name is Gocome. He was the one who was sent with the declaration of war this morning.”

At this the queen controlled her temper and asked, “Did you go inside Purpuria when you delivered the declaration?”

“I took it straight to the capital and right into the throne hall,” said Monkey. “I saw the king himself and got an answer from him.”

“What did the king say when you saw him?” the queen asked.

“I have already told His Majesty here what he said about war and about the dispositions of their forces,” Monkey replied. “But there was also a private message from the king, who misses you, ma'am. There's something private I have come to report to you, but with all these attendants around this is no place to talk.”

When the queen heard this she dismissed her foxes and deer. Brother Monkey shut the door of the palace, rubbed his face, and turned back into himself. “Don't be afraid of me,” he said to her. “I'm a monk sent by the Great Tang in the East to see the Buddha and fetch the scriptures at the Thunder Monastery in India. My master is Tang Sanzang, the younger brother of the Tang Emperor. I'm Sun Wukong, his senior disciple. When we were in your capital to present our passport for approval I saw a notice calling for doctors that your king and his ministers had posted. Then I used my medical skills to cure the illness he had contracted from missing you. When we were drinking at the banquet he gave to thank me he told me that you had been carried off by the evil spirit. As I can subdue dragons and tigers I was specially invited to capture the demon, rescue you and take you back to your country. I was the one who defeated the vanguard and killed the little devil. When I saw from outside the gates how ferocious the demon king was I turned myself into Gocome's double and came here to bring you a message.”

The queen said nothing when she heard this. Then Monkey produced the bracelets and presented them to her with both hands.

“If you don't believe me, just look; where did these come from?” he asked.

As soon as she saw them the queen burst into tears, came down from where she was sitting, bowed to him in thanks and said, “Reverend sir, if you really can save me and get me back to court I will remember my deep debt of gratitude to you even when I'm old and toothless.”

“Let me ask you something,” said Monkey. “What treasure does he use to produce that fire, smoke and sand?”

“It's no treasure,” the queen said, “just three golden bells. As soon as he shakes the first one three thousand feet of burning flames shoot out. When he shakes the second one a three-thousand-foot column of smoke gushes out to kipper people. And when he shakes it the third time a blinding three-thousand-foot sandstorm blows up. The fire and smoke are nothing much, but the sand is lethal. If it gets up your nostrils it can kill you.”

“It's terrible,” Monkey said, “terrible. I've experienced it and I had to sneeze a couple of times. I wonder where he keeps the bells.”

“He never puts them down,” the queen replied. “He keeps them at his waist whether he's going somewhere, staying at home, sitting down or sleeping. They are always with him.”

“If you still care for Purpuria and want to see your king again you must forget about your distress and grief for the moment,” said Monkey. “Make yourself look attractive and happy. Talk to him like a loving wife and get him to give you the bells to look after. When I've stolen them and defeated the monster I'll take you back to be reunited with your royal husband so that you can live in peace together.”

The queen did as Monkey said while he turned himself back into the demon king's trusted lieutenant, opened the doors again and called the serving women back in. “Go to the pavilion at the front, Gocome,” the queen said, “and ask His Majesty to come here as I've something to say to him.”

The splendid Monkey assented and went to the Flaying Pavilion, where he said to the evil spirit, “Your Majesty, Her Majesty would like to see you.”

“All she usually does is curse me, so why is she sending for me now?” the demon king happily asked. “When she asked me about the king of Purpuria I told her, 'He doesn't want you any more: he's got a new queen now.' When she heard that Her Majesty stopped missing him. That's why she sent me out with this invitation.”

“You're very able,” the demon king said, “and when we've destroyed Purpuria I'll make you my high chancellor in personal attendance.”

Monkey thanked the demon king for his kindness and hurried to the door of the living quarters at the back, where the queen greeted him with happy smiles and her hands on his arms. The king stepped back with an awkward noise.

“Don't,” he said, “don't. I'm very grateful for this sign of your affection, ma'am, but I don't dare stand next to you in case it hurts my hand.”

“Sit down, Your Majesty,” the queen said. “I have something to say to you.”

“There's no objection to you speaking,” the demon king replied. “I'm very much obliged to Your Majesty for condescending to love me,” she said. “For three years now you have not shared my pillow although we were fated from our earlier lives to be married. I never expected that Your Majesty would treat me as a stranger instead of your wife. I remember that when I was queen of Purpuria the king gave all the valuable tribute from foreign countries to the queen to look after when he had seen it. But you have no treasures here. The servants wear marten hides and feed on blood. I have seen no fine silks, brocades, gold or pearls here. All the covers and blankets are of skins and felt. Or perhaps you do have some treasures that you won't let me see or look after because you regard me as a stranger. They say you have three bells. I think they must be treasures. Why do you always keep them with you, even when you're travelling or sitting down? There's no reason why you shouldn't give them to me to look after. I can give them to you when you need them. That would be one way of being a wife to you and it would show that we trust each other in our hearts. The only reason why you don't do this must because you regard me as an outsider.”

At this the demon king burst into loud laughter, then bowed to her and said, “Ma'am, you're justified in your complaint. Here are the treasures, and today I'm giving them to you to look after.” He undid his clothing to bring them out. Monkey watched with unwavering eyes as the monster pulled two or three layers of clothing aside to bring out the three bells that he carried next to his skin.

Putting cotton-wool in to muffle them he wrapped them up in a piece of leopard skin and handed them to the queen with the words, “They're nothing, but please look after them very carefully. Whatever you do don't shake them.”

“I understand,” the queen replied as she accepted them. “I shall keep them on my dressing table and nobody will move them at all.” Then she gave these orders: “My little ones, lay on a banquet. His Majesty and I are going to have a few drinks to celebrate our happy union.” At once the serving women brought in fruit, vegetables and the flesh of water deer, raccoon-dogs, deer and hare and poured out coconut toddy that they offered them. The queen made herself so bewitchingly attractive that she swept the evil spirit off his feet.

Monkey meanwhile went to fetch the bells. Feeling and groping, he found his way to the dressing-table, gently took the three bells, crept out through the doors of the inner quarters and left the cave palace. When he reached the Flaying Pavilion there was nobody about, so he opened the leopard-skin wrapper to have a look. One of the bells was as big as a teacup and the other two the size of fists. With reckless folly he tore the cottonwool apart. There was a loud clang and smoke, fire and sand came gushing out. Desperately Monkey tried to stop them but could do nothing. The pavilion was by now ablaze, sending the evil spirits on the gates all crowding in alarm inside the inner quarters.

“Put the fire out,” said the demon king, who was badly rattled. As he rushed out to look he saw that Gocome had taken the golden bells, went up to him and shouted, “Dirty slave! Why did you steal my precious golden bells? What sort of nonsense are you up to? Arrest him!” The tiger and bear generals, the leopard and tiger-cat marshals, the elephants, gray wolves, cunning water deer, crafty hares, long snakes, great pythons, orangutans and all the other troops on the gates rushed him in a crowd.

Monkey was thrown into panic. Dropping the golden bells he turned back into himself, pulled out his gold-banded As-You-Will cudgel, went and charged at them, going through his cudgel routines and lashing out wildly. The demon king took his treasures back and ordered, “Shut the main gates.” At this some of the demons shut the gates and others went into battle. Unable to get away, Monkey put his cudgel away, shook himself and turned into a silly fly that attached itself to a spot on the stone wall which was not burning. None of the demons could find him. “Your Majesty,” they reported, “the thief's got away, the thief's got away.”

“Did he get out through the gates?” the demon king asked.

“The front gates are firmly locked and bolted,” the demons replied. “He can't have got out through them.”

“Make a careful search,” said the demon king, and while some of them fetched water to douse the fire the others made a close search but found no trace of him.

“What sort of thief is he?” the demon king asked with fury. “He's got a hell of a nerve, turning himself into Gocome's double, coming in here to report back to me, then staying with me till he found a chance to steal my treasures. It's luck he didn't take them out, if he'd taken them over the mountain top and there had been a heavenly wind it would have been a disaster.”

“Your Majesty's good fortune is divine,” said the tiger general, stepping forward. “It was because our luck has not yet run out that he was discovered.”

Then the bear marshal came forward to say, “Your Majesty, the thief was none other than the Sun Wukong who beat our vanguard warrior. I think he must have run into Gocome when he was on his way, killed him, taken his yellow flag, gong and ivory tablet, and turned into his double to come here and deceive Your Majesty.”

“Yes, yes,” the demon king replied, “you're clearly right. Little ones,” he ordered, “make another careful search and be on your guard. Whatever you do, don't open the gates and let him out.” It is rightly said that

 

By being too clever one becomes a fool;

What was once a joke can turn out to be real.

 

If you don't know how Brother Monkey got out through the demons' gates, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

妖魔宝放烟沙火

悟空计盗紫金铃

却说那孙行者抖擞神威,持着铁棒,踏祥光起在空中,迎面喝道:“你是那里来的邪魔,待往何方猖獗!”那怪物厉声高叫道:“吾党不是别人,乃麒麟山獬豸洞赛太岁大王爷爷部下先锋,今奉大王令,到此取宫女二名,伏侍金圣娘娘。你是何人,敢来问我!”行者道:“吾乃齐天大圣孙悟空,因保东土唐僧西天拜佛,路过此国,知你这伙邪魔欺主,特展雄才,治国祛邪。正没处寻你,却来此送命!”那怪闻言,不知好歹,展长枪就刺行者。行者举铁棒劈面相迎,在半空里这一场好杀:棍是龙宫镇海珍,枪乃人间转炼铁。凡兵怎敢比仙兵,擦着些儿神气泄。大圣原来太乙仙,妖精本是邪魔孽。鬼祟焉能近正人,一正之时邪就灭。那个弄风播土唬皇王,这个踏雾腾云遮日月。

丢开架子赌输赢,无能谁敢夸豪杰!还是齐天大圣能,乒乓一棍枪先折。那妖精被行者一铁棒把根枪打做两截,慌得顾性命,拨转风头,径往西方败走。

行者且不赶他,按下云头,来至避妖楼地穴之外叫道:“师父,请同陛下出来,怪物已赶去矣。”那唐僧才扶着君王,同出穴外,见满天清朗,更无妖邪之气。那皇帝即至酒席前,自己拿壶把盏,满斟金杯奉与行者道:“神僧,权谢!权谢!”这行者接杯在手,还未回言,只听得朝门外有官来报:“西门上火起了!”

行者闻说,将金杯连酒望空一撇,当的一声响喨,那个金杯落地。君王着了忙,躬身施礼道:“神僧,恕罪!恕罪!是寡人不是了!礼当请上殿拜谢,只因有这方便酒在此,故就奉耳。神僧却把杯子撇了,却不是有见怪之意?”行者笑道:“不是这话,不是这话。”少顷间,又有官来报:“好雨呀!才西门上起火,被一场大雨,把火灭了。满街上流水,尽都是酒气。”行者又笑道:

“陛下,你见我撇杯,疑有见怪之意,非也。那妖败走西方,我不曾赶他,他就放起火来。这一杯酒,却是我灭了妖火,救了西城里外人家,岂有他意!”国王更十分欢喜加敬。即请三藏四众,同上宝殿,就有推位让国之意。行者笑道:“陛下,才那妖精,他称是赛太岁部下先锋,来此取宫女的。他如今战败而回,定然报与那厮,那厮定要来与我相争。我恐他一时兴师帅众,未免又惊伤百姓,恐唬陛下。欲去迎他一迎,就在那半空中擒了他,取回圣后。但不知向那方去,这里到他那山洞有多少远近?”国王道:“寡人曾差夜不收军马到那里探听声息,往来要行五十余日。坐落南方,约有三千余里。”行者闻言叫:“八戒沙僧,护持在此,老孙去来。”国王扯住道:“神僧且从容一日,待安排些干粮烘炒,与你些盘缠银两,选一匹快马,方才可去。”行者笑道:“陛下说得是巴山转岭步行之话。我老孙不瞒你说,似这三千里路,斟酒在锺不冷,就打个往回。”国王道:“神僧,你不要怪我说。你这尊貌,却象个猿猴一般,怎生有这等法力会走路也?”行者道:“我身虽是猿猴数,自幼打开生死路。遍访明师把道传,山前修炼无朝暮。倚天为顶地为炉,两般药物团乌兔。采取阴阳水火交,时间顿把玄关悟。全仗天罡搬运功,也凭斗柄迁移步。退炉进火最依时,抽铅添汞相交顾。攒簇五行造化生,合和四象分时度。二气归于黄道间,三家会在金丹路。悟通法律归四肢,本来筋斗如神助。一纵纵过太行山,一打打过凌云渡。何愁峻岭几千重,不怕长江百十数。只因变化没遮拦,一打十万八千路!”那国王见说,又惊又喜,笑吟吟捧着一杯御酒递与行者道:“神僧远劳,进此一杯引意。”这大圣一心要去降妖,那里有心吃酒,只叫:“且放下,等我去了回来再饮。”好行者,说声去,唿哨一声,寂然不见。那一国君臣,皆惊讶不题。

却说行者将身一纵,早见一座高山阻住雾角,即按云头,立在那巅峰之上,仔细观看,好山:冲天占地,碍日生云。冲天处,尖峰矗矗;占地处,远脉迢迢。碍日的,乃岭头松郁郁;生云的,乃崖下石磷磷。松郁郁,四时八节常青;石磷磷,万载千年不改。林中每听夜猿啼,涧内常闻妖蟒过。山禽声咽咽,山兽吼呼呼。山獐山鹿,成双作对纷纷走;山鸦山鹊,打阵攒群密密飞。山草山花看不尽,山桃山果映时新。虽然倚险不堪行,却是妖仙隐逸处。这大圣看看不厌,正欲找寻洞口,只见那山凹里烘烘火光飞出,霎时间,扑天红焰,红焰之中冒出一股恶烟,比火更毒,好烟!但见那:火光迸万点金灯,火焰飞千条红虹。

那烟不是灶筒烟,不是草木烟,烟却有五色:青红白黑黄。熏着南天门外柱,燎着灵霄殿上梁。烧得那窝中走兽连皮烂,林内飞禽羽尽光。但看这烟如此恶,怎入深山伏怪王!大圣正自恐惧,又见那山中迸出一道沙来。好沙,真个是遮天蔽日!你看:

纷纷絯絯遍天涯,邓邓浑浑大地遮。细尘到处迷人目,粗灰满谷滚芝麻。采药仙僮迷失伴,打柴樵子没寻家。手中就有明珠现,时间刮得眼生花。

这行者只顾看玩,不觉沙灰飞入鼻内,痒斯斯的,打了两个喷嚏,即回头伸手,在岩下摸了两个鹅卵石,塞住鼻子,摇身一变,变做一个攒火的鹞子,飞入烟火中间,蓦了几蓦,却就没了沙灰,烟火也息了。急现本象下来。又看时,只听得丁丁东东的一个铜锣声响,却道:“我走错了路也!这里不是妖精住处。锣声似铺兵之锣,想是通国的大路,有铺兵去下文书。且等老孙去问他一问。”

正走处,忽见是个小妖儿,担着黄旗,背着文书,敲着锣儿,急走如飞而来,行者笑道:“原来是这厮打锣。他不知送的是甚么书信,等我听他一听。”好大圣,摇身一变,变做个猛虫儿,轻轻的飞在他书包之上,只听得那妖精敲着锣,绪绪聒聒的自念自诵道:“我家大王忒也心毒,三年前到朱紫国强夺了金圣皇后,一向无缘,未得沾身,只苦了要来的宫女顶缸。两个来弄杀了,四个来也弄杀了。前年要了,去年又要,今年又要,今年还要,却撞个对头来了。那个要宫女的先锋被个甚么孙行者打败了,不发宫女。我大王因此发怒,要与他国争持,教我去下甚么战书。这一去,那国王不战则可,战必不利。我大王使烟火飞沙,那国王君臣百姓等,莫想一个得活。那时我等占了他的城池,大王称帝,我等称臣,虽然也有个大小官爵,只是天理难容也!”行者听了,暗喜道:“妖精也有存心好的,似他后边这两句话说天理难容,却不是个好的?但只说金圣皇后一向无缘,未得沾身,此话却不解其意。等我问他一问。”嘤的一声,一翅飞离了妖精,转向前路,有十数里地,摇身一变,又变做一个道童:头挽双抓髻,身穿百衲衣。手敲鱼鼓简,口唱道情词。转山坡,迎着小妖,打个起手道:“长官,那里去?送的是甚么公文?”那妖物就象认得他的一般,住了锣槌,笑嘻嘻的还礼道:

“我大王差我到朱紫国下战书的。”行者接口问道:“朱紫国那话儿,可曾与大王配合哩?”小妖道:“自前年摄得来,当时就有一个神仙,送一件五彩仙衣与金圣宫妆新。他自穿了那衣,就浑身上下都生了针刺,我大王摸也不敢摸他一摸。但挽着些儿,手心就痛,不知是甚缘故,自始至今,尚未沾身。早间差先锋去要宫女伏侍,被一个甚么孙行者战败了。大王奋怒,所以教我去下战书,明日与他交战也。”行者道:“怎的大王却着恼呵?”小妖道:“正在那里着恼哩。你去与他唱个道情词儿解解闷也好。”

行者拱手抽身就走,那妖依旧敲锣前行。行者就行起凶来,掣出棒,复转身,望小妖脑后一下,可怜就打得头烂血流浆迸出,皮开颈折命倾之!收了棍子,却又自悔道:“急了些儿!不曾问他叫做甚么名字,罢了!”却去取下他的战书藏于袖内,将他黄旗、铜锣,藏在路旁草里捽时,只听当的一声,腰间露出一个镶金的牙牌,牌上有字,写道:“心腹小校一名,有来有去。五短身材,扢挞脸,无须。长用悬挂,无牌即假。”行者笑道:“这厮名字叫做有来有去,这一棍子,打得有去无来也!”将牙牌解下,带在腰间,欲要捽下尸骸,却又思量起烟火之毒,且不敢寻他洞府,即将棍子举起,着小妖胸前捣了一下,挑在空中,径回本国,且当报一个头功。你看他自思自念,唿哨一声,到了国界。

那八戒在金銮殿前,正护持着王师,忽回头看见行者半空中将个妖精挑来,他却怨道:“嗳!不打紧的买卖!早知老猪去拿来,却不算我一功?”说未毕,行者按落云头,将妖精捽在阶下。八戒跑上去就筑了一钯道:“此是老猪之功!”行者道:“是你甚功?”八戒道:“莫赖我,我有证见!你不看一钯筑了九个眼子哩!”行者道:“你看看可有头没头。”八戒笑道:“原来是没头的!我道如何筑他也不动动儿。”行者道:“师父在那里?”八戒道:“在殿里与王叙话哩。”行者道:“你且去请他出来。”八戒急上殿点点头,三藏即便起身下殿,迎着行者。行者将一封战书揣在三藏袖里道:“师父收下,且莫与国王看见。”说不了,那国王也下殿,迎着行者道:“神僧孙长老来了!拿妖之事如何?”行者用手指道:“那阶下不是妖精?被老孙打杀了也。”国王见了道:“是便是个妖尸,却不是赛太岁。赛太岁寡人亲见他两次:

身长丈八,膊阔五停,面似金光,声如霹雳,那里是这般鄙矮。”

行者笑道:“陛下认得,果然不是,这是一个报事的小妖撞见老孙,却先打死,挑回来报功。”国王大喜道:“好!好!好!该算头功!寡人这里常差人去打探,更不曾得个的实。似神僧一出,就捉了一个回来,真神通也!”叫:“看暖酒来!与长老贺功。”行者道:“吃酒还是小事,我问陛下,金圣宫别时,可曾留下个甚么表记?你与我些儿。”那国王听说表记二字,却似刀剑剜心,忍不住失声泪下,说道:“当年佳节庆朱明,太岁凶妖发喊声。

强夺御妻为压寨,寡人献出为苍生。更无会话并离话,那有长亭共短亭!表记香囊全没影,至今撇我苦伶仃!”行者道:“陛下在迩,何以为恼?那娘娘既无表记,他在宫内,可有甚么心爱之物,与我一件也罢。”国王道:“你要怎的?”行者道:“那妖王实有神通,我见他放烟、放火、放沙,果是难收。纵收了,又恐娘娘见我面生,不肯跟我回国。须是得他平日心爱之物一件,他方信我,我好带他回来,为此故要带去。”国王道:“昭阳宫里梳妆阁上,有一双黄金宝串,原是金圣宫手上带的,只因那日端午要缚五色彩线,故此褪下,不曾带上。此乃是他心爱之物,如今现收在简妆盒里。寡人见他遭此离别,更不忍见;一见即如见他玉容,病又重几分也。”行者道:“且休题这话,且将金串取来。如舍得,都与我拿去;如不舍,只拿一只去也。”国正遂命玉圣宫取出,取出即递与国王。国王见了,叫了几声知疼着热的娘娘,遂递与行者。行者接了,套在肐膊上。

好大圣,不吃得功酒,且驾筋斗云,唿哨一声,又至麒麟山上,无心玩景,径寻洞府而去。正行时,只听得人语喧嚷,即佇立凝睛观看,原来那獬豸洞口把门的大小头目,约摸有五百名,在那里:森森罗列,密密挨排。森森罗列执干戈,映日光明;

密密挨排展旌旗,迎风飘闪。虎将熊师能变化,豹头彪帅弄精神。苍狼多猛烈。獭象更骁雄。狡兔乖獐轮剑戟,长蛇大蟒挎刀弓。猩猩能解人言语,引阵安营识汛风。行者见了,不敢前进,抽身径转旧路。你道他抽身怎么?不是怕他,他却至那打死小妖之处,寻出黄旗铜锣,迎风捏诀,想象腾那,即摇身一变,变做那有来有去的模样,乒乓敲着锣,大踏步,一直前来,径撞至獬豸洞,正欲看看洞景,只闻得猩猩出语道:“有来有去,你回来了?”行者只得答应道:“来了。”猩猩道:“快走!大王爷爷正在剥皮亭上等你回话哩。”行者闻言,拽开步,敲着锣,径入前门里看处,原来是悬崖削壁石屋虚堂,左右有琪花瑶草,前后多古柏乔松。不觉又至二门之内,忽抬头见一座八窗明亮的亭子,亭子中间有一张戗金的交椅,椅子上端坐着一个魔王,真个生得恶象。但见他:幌幌霞光生顶上,威威杀气迸胸前。口外獠牙排利刃,鬓边焦发放红烟。嘴上髭须如插箭,遍体昂毛似迭毡。眼突铜铃欺太岁,手持铁杵若摩天。行者见了,公然傲慢那妖精,更不循一些儿礼法,调转脸朝着外,只管敲锣。妖王问道:“你来了?”行者不答,又问:“有来有去,你来了?”也不答应,妖王上前扯住道:“你怎么到了家还筛锣?问之又不答,何也?”行者把锣往地下一掼道:“甚么何也,何也!我说我不去,你却教我去。行到那厢,只见无数的人马列成阵势,见了我,就都叫拿妖精!拿妖精!把我揪揪扯扯,拽拽扛扛,拿进城去,见了那国王,国王便教斩了,幸亏那两班谋士道两家相争,不斩来使,把我饶了,收了战书,又押出城外,对军前打了三十顺腿,放我来回话。他那里不久就要来此与你交战哩。”

妖王道:“这等说,是你吃亏了,怪不道问你更不言语。”行者道:“却不是怎的,只为护疼,所以不曾答应。”妖王道:“那里有多少人马?”行者道:“我也唬昏了,又吃他打怕了,那里曾查他人马数目!只见那里森森兵器摆列着:弓箭刀枪甲与衣,干戈剑戟并缨旗。剽枪月铲兜鍪铠,大斧团牌铁蒺藜。长闷棍,短窝槌,钢叉铳铇及头盔。打扮得靴鞋护顶并胖袄,简鞭袖弹与铜锤。”那王听了笑道:“不打紧!不打紧!似这般兵器,一火皆空。你且去报与金圣娘娘得知,教他莫恼。今早他听见我发狠,要去战斗,他就眼泪汪汪的不干。你如今去说那里人马骁勇,必然胜我,且宽他一时之心。”

行者闻言十分欢喜道:“正中老孙之意!”你看他偏是路熟,转过角门,穿过厅堂。那里边尽都是高堂大厦,更不似前边的模样,直到后面宫里,远见彩门壮丽,乃是金圣娘娘住处。直入里面看时,有两班妖狐妖鹿,一个个都妆成美女之形,侍立左右,正中间坐着那个娘娘,手托着香腮,双眸滴泪,果然是玉容娇嫩,美貌妖娆。懒梳妆,散鬓堆鸦;怕打扮,钗环不戴。面无粉,冷淡了胭脂;发无油,蓬松了云鬓。努樱唇,紧咬银牙;皱蛾眉,泪淹星眼。一片心,只忆着朱紫君王;一时间,恨不离天罗地网。诚然是:自古红颜多薄命,恹恹无语对东风!行者上前打了个问讯道:“接喏。”那娘娘道:“这泼村怪,十分无状!想我在那朱紫国中,与王同享荣华之时,那太师宰相见了,就俯伏尘埃,不敢仰视。这野怪怎么叫声接喏?是那里来的这般村泼?”众侍婢上前道:“太太息怒,他是大王爷爷心腹的小校,唤名有来有去。今早差下战书的是他。”娘娘听说,忍怒问曰:“你下战书,可曾到朱紫国界?”行者道:“我持书直至城里,到于金銮殿,面见君王,已讨回音来也。”娘娘道:“你面君,君有何言?”行者道:“那君王敌战之言,与排兵布阵之事,才与大王说了。只是那君王有思想娘娘之意,有一句合心的话儿,特来上禀,奈何左右人众,不是说处。”娘娘闻言,喝退两班狐鹿。行者掩上宫门,把脸一抹,现了本象,对娘娘道:“你休怕我,我是东土大唐差往大西天天竺国雷音寺见佛求经的和尚。我师父是唐王御弟唐三藏,我是他大徒弟孙悟空。因过你国倒换关文,见你君臣出榜招医,是我大施三折之肱,把他相思之病治好了。排宴谢我,饮酒之间,说出你被妖摄来,我会降龙伏虎,特请我来捉怪,救你回国。那战败先锋是我,打死小妖也是我。我见他门外凶狂,是我变作有来有去模样,舍身到此,与你通信。”那娘娘听说,沉吟不语。行者取出宝串,双手奉上道:“你若不信,看此物何来?”娘娘一见垂泪,下座拜谢道:“长老,你果是救得我回朝,没齿不忘大恩!”行者道:“我且问你,他那放火、放烟、放沙的,是件甚么宝贝?”娘娘道:“那里是甚宝贝!乃是三个金铃。他将头一个幌一幌,有三百丈火光烧人;第二个幌一幌,有三百丈烟光熏人;第三个幌一幌,有三百丈黄沙迷人。烟火还不打紧,只是黄沙最毒,若钻入人鼻孔,就伤了性命。”行者道:“利害!利害!我曾经着,打了两个嚏喷,却不知他的铃儿放在何处?”娘娘道:“他那肯放下,只是带在腰间,行住坐卧,再不离身。”行者道:“你若有意于朱紫国,还要相会国王,把那烦恼忧愁,都且权解,使出个风流喜悦之容,与他叙个夫妻之情,教他把铃儿与你收贮。待我取便偷了,降了这妖怪,那时节,好带你回去,重谐鸾凤,共享安宁也。”那娘娘依言。

这行者还变作心腹小校,开了宫门,唤进左右侍婢。娘娘叫:“有来有去,快往前亭,请你大王来,与他说话。”好行者,应了一声,即至剥皮亭对妖精道:“大王,圣宫娘娘有请。”妖王欢喜道:“娘娘常时只骂,怎么今日有请?”行者道:“那娘娘问朱紫国王之事,是我说他不要你了,他国中另扶了皇后。娘娘听说,故此没了想头,方才命我来奉请。”妖王大喜道:“你却中用。待我剿除了他国,封你为个随朝的太宰。”行者顺口谢恩,疾与妖王来至后宫门首。那娘娘欢容迎接,就去用手相搀,那妖王喏喏而退道:“不敢不敢!多承娘娘下爱,我怕手痛,不敢相傍。”娘娘道:“大王请坐,我与你说。”妖王道:“有话但说不妨。”娘娘道:“我蒙大王辱爱,今已三年,未得共枕同衾,也是前世之缘,做了这场夫妻,谁知大王有外我之意,不以夫妻相待。我想着当时在朱紫国为后,外邦凡有进贡之宝,君看毕,一定与后收之。你这里更无甚么宝贝,左右穿的是貂裘,吃的是血食,那曾见绫锦金珠!只一味铺皮盖毯,或者就有些宝贝,你因外我,也不教我看见,也不与我收着。且如闻得你有三个铃铛,想就是件宝贝,你怎么走也带着,坐也带着?你就拿与我收着,待你用时取出,未为不可。此也是做夫妻一场,也有个心腹相托之意。如此不相托付,非外我而何?”妖王大笑陪礼道:“娘娘怪得是!怪得是!宝贝在此,今日就当付你收之。”便即揭衣取宝。行者在旁,眼不转睛看着那怪揭起两三层衣服,贴身带着三个铃儿。他解下来,将些绵花塞了口儿,把一块豹皮作一个包袱儿包了,递与娘娘道:“物虽微贱,却要用心收藏,切不可摇幌着他。”娘娘接过手道:“我晓得。安在这妆台之上,无人摇动。”叫:“小的们,安排酒来,我与大王交欢会喜,饮几杯儿。”众侍婢闻言,即铺排果菜,摆上些獐鹿兔之肉,将椰子酒斟来奉上。那娘娘做出妖娆之态,哄着精灵。

孙行者在旁取事,但挨挨摸摸,行近妆台,把三个金铃轻轻拿过,慢慢移步,溜出宫门,径离洞府。到了剥皮亭前无人处,展开豹皮幅子看时,中间一个,有茶锺大,两头两个,有拳头大。他不知利害,就把绵花扯了,只闻得当的一声响喨,骨都都的迸出烟火黄沙,急收不住,满亭中烘烘火起。唬得那把门精怪一拥撞入后宫,惊动了妖王,慌忙教:“去救火!救火!”出来看时,原来是有来有去拿了金铃儿哩。妖王上前喝道:“好贱奴!怎么偷了我的金铃宝贝,在此胡弄!”叫:“拿来!拿来!”那门前虎将、熊师、豹头、彪帅、獭象、苍狼、乖獐、狡兔、长蛇、大蟒、猩猩,帅众妖一齐攒簇。那行者慌了手脚,丢了金铃,现出本象,掣出金箍如意棒,撒开解数,往前乱打。那妖王收了宝贝,传号令,教:“关了前门!”众妖听了,关门的关门,打仗的打仗。那行者难得脱身,收了棒,摇身一变,变作个痴苍蝇儿,钉在那无火处石壁上。众妖寻不见,报道:“大王,走了贼也!走了贼也!”妖王问:“可曾自门里走出去?”众妖都说:“前门紧锁牢拴在此,不曾走出。”妖王只说:“仔细搜寻!”有的取水泼火,有的仔细搜寻,更无踪迹。妖王怒道:“是个甚么贼子,好大胆,变作有来有去的模样,进来见我回话,又跟在身边,乘机盗我宝贝!早是不曾拿将出去!若拿出山头,见了天风,怎生是好?”

虎将上前道:“大王的洪福齐天,我等的气数不尽,故此知觉了。”熊师上前道:“大王,这贼不是别人,定是那战败先锋的那个孙悟空。想必路上遇着有来有去,伤了性命,夺了黄旗、铜锣、牙牌,变作他的模样,到此欺骗了大王也。”妖王道:“正是!

正是!见得有理!”叫:“小的们,仔细搜求防避,切莫开门放出走了!”这才是个有分教:弄巧翻成拙,作耍却为真。毕竟不知孙行者怎么脱得妖门,且听下回分解。