The Tawny Lion Spirit Arranges a Rake Feast in Vain
Metal, Wood and Earth Make Havoc on Mount Leopard Head
The story tells how after days on end of hard work the smiths all went to sleep that night, only to get up at dawn to start again and find that the three weapons had disappeared from under the matting shelter. Dumbfounded with horror, they started looking for them everywhere, and when the three young princes came out of the inner quarters to watch, the smiths all kowtowed to them and said, “Young masters, we don't know where the divine teachers' three weapons have all gone.”
When the young princes heard this news they trembled and said, “We expect our masters put them away last night.” Rushing to the Gauze Pavilion, they found the white horse still tethered in the walkway and could not help shouting, “Teachers, are you still asleep?”
“We're up,” Friar Sand replied, and opened the door of their room to let the young princes in.
When they saw that the weapons were not there they asked with alarm, “Masters, have you put your weapons away?”
“No,” replied Monkey, springing up.
“The three weapons disappeared during the night,” the princes explained.
“Is my rake still there?” Pig asked as he scrambled to his feet.
“When we came out a moment ago we saw everyone searching for them,” the princes replied. “When they couldn't find them we wondered if you had put them away, which is why we came to ask. As your treasures can shrink or grow we wonder if you've hidden them about yourselves to play a trick on us.”
“Honestly, we haven't,” said Monkey. “Let's all join the search.”
When they went to the matting shelter in the yard and could see that there really was no sign of the weapons Pig said, “You smiths must have stolen them. Bring'em out at once. Do it right now or I'll kill you. I'll kill you, I say.”
The smiths kowtowed desperately and said with tears pouring down their faces, “Your Lordships, we went to sleep last night because we'd been working so hard for days on end. When we got up this morning they'd gone. We're only ordinary mortals. We could never have moved them. Spare our lives, Your Lordships, spare our lives.”
Monkey said with bitter regret, “It's our fault. After we'd shown them what they look like to copy we should have kept them on us instead of leaving them lying there. I suppose our treasures' glowing clouds and light must have alerted some monster who came and stole them during the night.”
“Nonsense, brother,” Pig replied. “This is a peaceful, orderly sort of place, not somewhere in the wilds or the mountains. No monsters could possibly have come here. I'm sure it was those evil smiths who stole our weapons. They could tell they were treasures from the light shining from them. They must have left the palace last night and got a whole gang together to carry or drag them out. Bring'em here! I'm going to hit them.” The smiths kowtowed and swore to their innocence for all they were worth.
Amid all this commotion the senior prince came out, and when he asked what had happened the color drained from his face too. After muttering to himself in a low voice for a while he said, “Divine teachers, your weapons were not mere mortals' ones. Even if there had been a hundred or more people they would never have been able to move them. Besides, my family has been ruling this city for five generations. I'm not boasting, but I do have a certain reputation for being a good man. The soldiers, civilians and artisans who live here fear my laws, and I am certain that they could never have had so wicked an idea. I hope that you divine teachers will think again.”
“No need for any more thinking about it,” replied Brother Monkey with a smile, “and no need to make the smiths suffer for what's not their fault. I would like to ask Your Royal Highness if there are any evil monsters in the mountains and forests around the city.”
“That's a very good question,” the prince replied. “There is a mountain North of the city called Mount Leopard Head, with a Tigermouth Cave in it. People often say that immortals, or tigers and wolves, or evil spirits live there. As I've never been there to find out the truth I am not sure what kind of creatures there are.”
“No need to say any more,” replied Monkey with a laugh. “It must be someone wicked from there who knew they were treasures and came during the night to steal them. Pig, Friar Sand,” he ordered, “stay here to guard the master and the city while I go for a look round.” He then told the smiths to keep the furnace burning and carry on forging the new weapons.
The splendid Monkey King took his leave of Sanzang and whistled out of sight. Soon he was on Mount Leopard Head, which took him but an instant as it was only ten miles from the city. As he climbed to the summit to look around he saw that there was quite an air of evil about it. Indeed, it was
A long dragon chain of hills,
A mighty formation.
Sharp peaks thrusting into the sky,
Streams flowing fast along chasms deep.
In front of the mountain grow cushions of rare plants;
Behind the mountain strange flowers form brocade.
Tall pine and ancient cypress,
Old trees and find bamboo.
Crows and magpies sing as they fly,
Cranes call and gibbons scream.
Below the beetling scar
David's deer go in twos;
In front of the sheer rock-face
Are pairs of badgers and foxes.
Dragons from afar emerge briefly from the waters
Of the twisting, winding stream that runs deep under the ground.
This ridge runs right to the edge of Yuhua,
A place of beauty for a thousand ages.
Just as he was surveying the scene Monkey heard voices on the other side of the mountain, turned quickly round to look, and saw a couple of wolf-headed ogres climbing towards the Northwest and talking loudly as they went.
“They must be monsters patrolling the mountain,” Monkey guessed. “I'm going to listen to what they have to say.”
Making magic with his hands and saying the words of a spell Monkey shook himself, turned into a butterfly, spread his wings and fluttered after them. It was a very lifelike transformation:
A pair of powdery wings,
Two silver antennae.
In the wind it files very fast;
In the sun it's a leisurely dancer.
It crosses rivers and walls in a flash.
Enjoys stealing fragrance and playing with catkins.
This delicate creature loves the taste of fresh flowers
It shows its beauty and elegance as it pleases.
He flew to a spot right above the evil spirits' heads, where he floated and listened to what they had to say. “Brother,” one of them shouted suddenly, “our chief keeps on striking it lucky. The other month he caught himself a real beauty to live with him in the cave, and he was as pleased as anything about that. Then last night he got the three weapons, which really are priceless treasures. Tomorrow there's going to be a Rake Banquet to celebrate, so we're all going to benefit.”
“We've been quite lucky too,” the other replied, “being given these twenty ounces of silver to buy pigs and sleep. When we get to Qianfang Market we can have a few jugs of wine to start with, and then fiddle the accounts to make ourselves two or three ounces of silver to buy ourselves padded jackets for the winter. It's great, isn't it?” As they laughed and talked the two monsters hurried along the main path at a great speed.
When Monkey heard about the banquet to celebrate the rake he was quietly delighted. He would have liked to kill the devils, but it was not their fault and, besides, he had no weapon. So he flew round till he was in front of them, turned back into himself and stood at a junction along the path. As the devils gradually came closer he blew a mouthful of magic saliva at them, recited the words Om Humkara and made a fixing spell that held the two wolf-headed spirits where they were. Their eyes were fixed in a stare, they could not open their mouths, and they stood upright, both legs rigid. Monkey then knocked them over, undid their clothes and searched them, finding the twenty ounces of silver in a purse carried by one of them in the belt of his kilt. Each of them was also carrying a white lacquered pass. One of these read “Wily Freak” and the other read “Freaky Wile.”
Having taken their silver and undone their passes the splendid Great Sage went straight back to the city, where he told the princes, the Tang Priest, the officials high and low and the smiths what had happened.
“I reckon my treasure's the one that shone the brightest,” said Pig with a grin. “That's why they're buying pigs and sheep for a slap-up meal to celebrate. But how are we going to get it back?”
“We'll all three of us go,” said Monkey. “This silver was for buying pigs and sheep. We'll give it to the smiths: His Royal Highness can provide us with some animals. Pig, you turn yourself into Wily Freak, I'll turn into Freaky Wile, and Friar Sand can be a trader selling pigs and sheep. We'll go into Tigermouth Cave, and when it suits us we'll grab our weapons, kill all the monsters, come back here to pack up and be on our way again.”
“Terrific,” said Friar Sand. “No time to lose. Let's go.” The senior prince agreed with the plan and told his steward to buy seven or eight pigs and four or five sheep.
The three of them left their master and gave a great display of their magic powers once outside the city.
“Brother,” said Pig, “I've never seen that Wily Freak, so how can I possibly turn myself into his double?”
“I did fixing magic on him to keep him over there somewhere,” Monkey said, “and he won't come round till tomorrow. I can remember what he looks like, so you stand still while I tell you how to change. Yes, like this...no, a bit more like that....That's it. That's him.”
While the idiot said an incantation Brother Monkey blew on him with magic breath, turned him into Wily Freak's double and gave him a white pass to tuck in at his waist. Monkey then turned himself into Freaky Wile with a pass at his waist too, and Friar Sand made himself look like a travelling dealer in pigs and sheep. Then they drove the pigs and sheep together along the path West towards the mountain. Before long they were in a mountain gully, where they met another junior devil. He had the most horrible face. Just look:
A pair of round and bulging eyes
Shining like lanterns;
A head of red and bristly hair,
Blazing like fire.
A red nose,
A twisted mouth,
Sharp and pointy fangs;
Protruding ears,
A brow that seemed hacked into shape,
And a green and bloated face.
He was wearing a pale yellow tunic
And sandals made of sedge.
He looked most imposing, like some evil god,
As he hurried along like a vicious demon.
This devil was carrying a coloured lacquer invitation box under his left arm as he greeted Monkey and the other two with a call of “Freaky Wile, good to see you both. Did you buy us some pigs and sheep?”
“Can't you see we're driving them along?” Monkey replied.
“Who's this gentleman?” the devil asked, looking at Friar Sand.
“He's the dealer in pigs and sheep,” Monkey replied. “We still owe him a couple of ounces of silver, so we're taking him home with us to fetch it. Where are you going?”
“To Bamboo Mountain to invite His Senior Majesty to the feast tomorrow morning,” the devil said.
Taking his cue from the devil's tone of voice, Monkey then asked, “How many guests will there be altogether?”
“His Senior Majesty will take the place of honour,” the devil replied, “and with our own king, chiefs and the rest of them there'll be over forty.”
As they were talking Pig called, “Get a move on! The pigs and sheep are going everywhere.”
“You go and invite them while I get a look at that invitation,” Monkey said, and as the devil regarded him as one of their own kind he opened the box, took out the invitation and handed it to Monkey. This is what Monkey read when he unfolded it:
A banquet is being given tomorrow morning to celebrate the capture of the rake, and if you will condescend to cross the mountain, honoured ancestor, Primal Sage of Ninefold Numinosity, I will be deeply grateful.
With a hundred kowtows,
Your grandson,
Tawny Lion
When Monkey had read it he handed it back to the devil, who returned it to its case and carried on towards the Southeast.
“Brother,” Friar Sand asked, “what did it say on the invitation?”
“It was an invitation to the Rake Banquet,” Monkey replied. “It was signed, 'with a hundred kowtows, your grandson Tawny Lion,' and the invitation was being sent to the Primal Sage of Ninefold Numinosity.'”
“Tawny Lion must be a golden-haired lion who's become a spirit,” said Friar Sand with a smile, “but I wonder who the Primal Sage of Ninefold Numinosity is.”
Pig's reaction was to laugh and say, “He's mine.”
“Why should he necessarily be yours?” Monkey asked.
“There's an old saying that goes, 'a mangy old sow can put a golden lion to flight,'“ Pig replied. “That's why I know he's mine.” As they talked and laughed the three of them drove the pigs and sheep along till they could see the gates of Tigermouth Cave. Outside the gates there were,
Green mountains all around,
Ranges forming a mighty wall.
Creepers clung to the sheer rock faces,
Thorns hung down from the towering cliffs.
Bird song came from all around the woods,
While flowers gave a welcome by the entrance.
This cave was a match for the Peach Blossom Spring,
A place to avoid the troubles of the world.
As they came closer to the mouth of the cave they saw a crowd of evil spirits of every age and kind playing under the blossoming trees, and when they heard Pig's shouts of “Hey! Hey!” as he drove the pigs and sheep they all came out to meet them. The pigs and sheep were caught and trussed up. The noise had by now disturbed the demon king inside, who came out with ten or more junior demons to ask, “Are you two back? How many animals did you buy?”
“Eight pigs and seven sheep—fifteen altogether,” Monkey replied. “The pigs cost sixteen ounces of silver and the sheep nine. We were only given twenty ounces, so we still owe five. This is the dealer who's come with us for the silver.”
“Fetch five ounces of silver, little ones,” the demon king ordered on hearing this, “and send him on his way.”
“But the dealer hasn't only come to get his silver,” Monkey replied. “He's come to see the banquet too.”
“What nerve, Freaky Wile!” said the furious demon abusively. “You were sent off to buy things, not to talk about banquets.”
“As you've got those amazingly fine treasures, my lord,” Pig said, stepping forward, “what's the harm in letting him have a look?”
“Damn you too, Wily Freak,” said the demon with an angry snort. “I got these treasures from inside the city of Yuhua. If this stranger sees them and talks about them in the city the word will get around and the prince will come to demand them. What'll we do then?”
“My lord,” Monkey replied, “this dealer comes from the other side of Qianfang Market. That's a long way from the city, and he's not a city man either, so where would he go telling tales? Besides, he's hungry, and the two of us haven't eaten. If there's any food and liquor in the place why don't we give him some before sending him on his way?”
Before he could finish speaking a junior devil came out with five ounces of silver that he gave to Monkey, who in turn handed it to Friar Sand with the words, “Take your silver, stranger, then come round to the back for something to eat with us.”
Taking his courage in his hands, Friar Sand went into the cave with Pig and Monkey. When they reached the second hall inside they saw on a table in the middle of it the nine-toothed iron rake set up in all its dazzling brightness to receive offerings. At the Eastern end of the table was leant the gold-banded cudgel, and at the Western end the demon-quelling staff.
“Stranger,” said the demon king who was following them in, “that's the rake shining so brightly in the middle. You're welcome to look, but don't tell anyone about it, whatever you do.” Friar Sand nodded in admiration.
Oh dear! This was a case of “when the owner sees what's his he's bound to pick it up.” Pig had always been a rough customer, and once he saw his rake he was not going to talk about the facts of the case, but charged over, pulled it down and swung it around as he turned back into himself. He struck straight at the evil spirit's face, not caring now about the proper ways of using his weapon. Monkey and Friar Sand each rushed to one end of the table to grab his own weapon and turn back into himself. As the three brothers started lashing out wildly the demon king had to get out of their way in a hurry, go round to the back and fetch his four-bright halberd with its long handle and sharp, pointed butt.
Rushing into the courtyard, he used this to hold off the three weapons and shout at the top of his voice, “Who do you think you are, tricking me out of my treasures by impersonation?”
“I'll get you, you hairy beast,” Monkey cursed back. “You don't know who I am. I'm a disciple of Tang Sanzang, the holy monk from the East. When we came to Yuhua to present our passport the prince told his three sons to take us as their teachers of fighting skills. They were having weapons copied from ours. That was why ours were left in the courtyard for you to sneak into the city and steal in the middle of the night. And you accuse us of tricking them out of you by impersonation! Stay right there and try a taste of our three weapons.”
The evil spirit at once raised his halberd to fight back. They fought from the courtyard out through the front gate, three monks chasing a single demon. It was a splendid battle:
The cudgel whistled like the wind,
The rake's blows came raining down.
The demon-quelling staff filled the sky with glowing mist;
The four-bright halberd gave off clouds.
They were like the three immortals refining elixir,
Making dazzling light that frightened gods and ghosts.
Monkey was brilliant at displaying his might;
The evil spirit was wrong to have stolen the treasures.
Marshal Tian Peng showed off his divine powers,
While the great general Sand was heroic and splendid.
As the three brothers fought with skill and one mind
A great battle took place in Tigermouth Cave.
The ogre was full of power and cunning,
A fit match for the four heroes.
They fought until the sun set in the West,
When the demon weakened and could hold out no longer.
After their long fight on Mount Leopard Head the evil spirit shouted at Friar Sand, “Watch this halberd!” As Friar Sand fell back to dodge the blow the evil spirit escaped through the opening he left and fled by wind to the Xun quarter to the Southeast.
Pig started rushing after him to catch him, but Monkey said, “Let him go. As the old saying goes, 'never chase a desperate robber.' Let's leave him nothing to come back to.”
Pig agreed, and the three of them went back to the entrance of the cave, where they killed all the hundred and more evil spirits great and small. It turned out that they were all really tigers, wolves, tiger cats, leopards, red deer and goats. Monkey used one of his powers to bring all the valuables and fabrics, as well as the bodies of all the animals they had killed, the pigs and the sheep out of the cave. Friar Sand used some dry wood he found to start a fire that Pig fanned with both his ears. The cave was soon burnt out, and they took what they had brought with them back to the city.
The city gates were wide open; people had not yet gone to bed. The senior prince and his sons were still waiting in the Gauze Pavilion. The three disciples dropped all the dead wild animals and sheep as well as the valuables with loud thumps into the courtyard, filling it up as they called out, “Master, we're back. We've won.”
The senior prince then expressed his thanks to them, the Tang priest was delighted, and the three young princes fell to their knees to bow.
“Don't thank us,” Friar Sand said, helping them to their feet. “Come and see what we've got.”
“Where are they from?” the senior prince asked.
“The tigers, wolves, tiger cats, leopards, red deer and goats were all monsters that made themselves into spirits. When we'd got our weapons back we fought our way out through the gates. Their demon king is a golden-haired lion who fights with a four-bright halberd. He battled it out with us till nightfall, then ran away to the Southeast. Instead of chasing him we made sure he'd have nowhere to come back to by killing all these devils and bringing back all his things.”
This news both delighted and alarmed the senior prince: he was delighted at their triumphant return; worried that the demon would seek his revenge later.
“Don't worry, Your Royal Highness,” said Monkey. “I've thought about it very carefully, and I'll deal with it properly. I promise to exterminate the demons completely before we go. We'll definitely not leave you with trouble that'll come back later. When we went there at noon we ran into a little green-faced, red-haired devil who was carrying an invitation. What it said on it was: 'A banquet is being given tomorrow morning to celebrate the capture of the rake, and if you will condescend to cross the mountain, honoured ancestor, Primal Sage of Ninefold Numinosity, I will be deeply grateful.' It was signed: 'with a hundred kowtows, your grandson, Tawny Lion'. When the evil spirit was defeated just now he must have gone to have a word with his grandfather. They're bound to come looking for us to get their revenge tomorrow morning, and when that happens I'll wipe them all out for you.” The senior prince thanked him and had supper arranged. When master and disciples had eaten, everybody went to bed.
The story now tells of how the evil spirit really did head Southeast to Bamboo Mountain, in which there was a cave called the Nine-bend Twisty Cave where the evil spirit's grandfather, the Primal Sage of Ninefold Numinosity, lived. That night the demon did not stop treading the wind until he reached the cave's entrance in the last watch.
When he knocked on the gates and went in a junior devil greeted him with the words, “Your Majesty, Greenface brought the invitation last night, and the old gentleman invited him to say till this morning to go to your Rake Banquet with him. Why have you come here so very early to invite him yourself?”
“I hate to have to say it,” the evil spirit replied, “but the banquet is off.”
As they were talking Greenface came out from the inner part of the cave to say, “What are you doing here, Your Majesty? As soon as His Senior Majesty's up he's coming to the celebration with me.” The evil spirit was so distraught that he could say nothing, but only wave his hands.
A little later the old demon got up and called for the evil spirit, who dropped his weapon and prostrated himself on the ground to kowtow, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Worthy grandson,” the old demon said, “you sent me an invitation yesterday, and this morning I'm on my way to the celebration. So why have you come yourself, looking so miserable and upset?”
“I was taking a stroll in the moonlight the night before last,” the evil spirit replied, still kowtowing, “when I saw a dazzling light rising up to the sky from the city of Yuhua. I hurried there to take a look and saw that it came from three weapons in the prince's palace: a nine-toothed rake with gold in it, a staff and a gold-banded cudgel. I used my magic to take them away and decided to have a Rake Banquet to celebrate. I sent some of my underlings to buy pigs, sheep and fruit for the feast that I invited you to come and enjoy, Grandfather. But after I sent Greenface over with the invitation yesterday Wily Freak and the other one who'd been told to buy pigs and sheep came back with a dealer, a stranger, for some silver. The stranger was all set on seeing the banquet. I refused as I was afraid he'd spread the news around. Then they said they were hungry and asked for some food to eat, so I told them to go round the back to eat. When they got inside and saw the weapons they said they were theirs. They each snatched one and turned back into their real selves. One was a monk with a hairy face and a mouth like a thunder god's, one was a monk with a long snout and big ears, and one was a monk with a really sinister face. The three of them yelled at me and started lashing out: they didn't care at all. I just managed to fetch my four-bright halberd and come out to hold them at bay. When I asked them who they were and how they dared go in for impersonation they told me they were disciples of the Tang Priest who's been sent to the Western Heaven by Great Tang in the East. When they went to present their passport on their way through the city the princes pressed them to stay and teach them martial arts. They said their three weapons had been left in the palace yard for copies of them to be made, and that I'd stolen them. Then they went for me with great fury. I didn't know what those three monks are called, but they're all very good fighters. As I was no match for them by myself I had to run away and come here. If you have any love for your grandson I beg you to lend me your arms in order to get my revenge on those monks.”
After a moment's silent thought the old demon replied with a smile, “So it's them. Worthy grandson, you made a big mistake provoking him.”
“Do you know who they are, grandfather?” the other asked.
“The one with a long snout and big ears is Zhu Bajie,” the old demon said, “and the one with a horrible face is Friar Sand. They're not too bad. But the one with a hairy face and a mouth like a thunder god is called Sun the Novice. He's got really tremendous magical powers. When he made great havoc in Heaven five hundred years ago a hundred thousand heavenly troops couldn't catch him. And he's a most determined hunter. He's like a policeman who'll search mountains and seas, smash caves, storm cities and cause all sorts of trouble. Why did you have to provoke him? Never mind. I'll go with you and capture those so-and-sos and the prince of Yuhua to avenge you.”
On hearing this the evil spirit kowtowed again in thanks. The senior demon immediately mustered his grandsons Monkey Lion, Snowy Lion, Leo, Gryphon, Raccoon-dog Lion and Elephant-fighter, each of whom carried a sharp weapon. With Tawny Lion leading the way each of them set off a powerful gale that carried them straight to Mount Leopard Head, where there was an all-pervasive smell of smoke and fire and all that could be heard was sobbing. When they looked more closely they saw Wily Freak and Freaky Wile weeping for their lord.
“Are you the real Freak and Wile or impostors?” the evil spirit shouted as he went up to them.
Falling to their knees and kowtowing with tears in their eyes, the two devils replied, “We're no impostors. After we were given the silver to buy pigs and sheep yesterday we met a monk with a hairy face and a mouth like a thunder god in the wide valley to the West of the mountain. When he spat on us our legs went all weak, our mouths went stiff, we couldn't speak and we couldn't move. He knocked us over, found and stole our silver and took our passes off us. We were left in a daze till we came round just now. When we got home we found the place still on fire and all the buildings burnt down. We were crying so bitterly because you, my lord, and all the chiefs had disappeared. We don't know how the fire was started.”
When the evil spirit heard this he could not stop his tears from gushing forth as he stamped his feet in fury, let loose heaven-shaking roars and exclaimed in hatred and fury, “Damned baldies! Vicious beasts! How could you be so evil? You've destroyed my cave palace and burnt my beauty to death. You've killed everyone, young and old, in the household. I'm so angry I could die!”
The old demon then told Monkey Lion to take hold of Tawny Lion, saying, “Grandson, what's done is done. Upsetting yourself won't do you any good. What you must do now is summon up all your energy to catch those monks in the city.”
The evil spirit was still crying as he replied, “Grandfather, this mountain palace of mine wasn't built in a day. Now those damned baldies have destroyed everything! My life's not worth living!” With that he broke free and flung himself forward to smash his head against the rock-face, only stopping after Snowy Lion and Monkey Lion had made great efforts to calm him. They then left the cave and all headed for the city.
With a roaring wind and in a thick fog they approached the city, so frightening all the people living outside the city wall that they abandoned their belongings and dragged or carried their children with them as they fled into the city. Once the people were all inside the gates were shut. A report was then made to the palace that a disaster was upon them. When the prince, who was taking a vegetarian breakfast in the Gauze Pavilion with the Tang Priest and the others, heard this report he went out to ask about it:
“A whole crowd of evil spirits are heading for the city with sandstorms, flying stones, fogs and wind.”
“Whatever shall we do?” asked the prince, deeply alarmed.
“All stop worrying,” said Brother Monkey, “all stop worrying. It's the evil spirit from Tigermouth Cave who ran away when he was beaten yesterday. He went to the Southeast to gang up with the Primal Sage of Ninefold Numinosity or whatever he's called and now he's here. We brothers are going out. Tell them to shut all the city gates, and send men to hold the city wall.” The prince ordered that the city gates be shut, sent men to the wall, and went with his sons and the Tang Priest to inspect. The army's banners blotted out the sun, and the cannon fire reached the sky as Monkey, Pig and Friar Sand left the city amid wind and clouds to give battle. Indeed:
Because they were careless the weapons were lost,
Which led to attacks by the devilish host.
If you do not know the outcome of the battle listen to the explanation in the next installment.
黄狮精虚设钉钯宴
金木土计闹豹头山
却说那院中几个铁匠,因连日辛苦,夜间俱自睡了。及天明起来打造,篷下不见了三般兵器,一个个呆挣神惊,四下寻找。只见那三个王子出宫来看,那铁匠一齐磕头道:“小主啊,神师的三般兵器,都不知那里去了!”小王子听言,心惊胆战道:“想是师父今夜收拾去了。”急奔暴纱亭看时,见白马尚在廊下,忍不住叫道:“师父还睡哩!”沙僧道:“起来了。”即将房门开了,让王子进里看时,不见兵器,慌慌张张问道:“师父的兵器都收来了?”行者跳起道:“不曾收啊!”王子道:“三般兵器,今夜都不见了。”八戒连忙爬起道:“我的钯在么?”小王道:
“适才我等出来,只见众人前后找寻不见,弟子恐是师父收了,却才来问。老师的宝贝,俱是能长能消,想必藏在身边哄弟子哩。”行者道:“委的未收,都寻去来。”随至院中篷下,果然不见踪影。八戒道:“定是这伙铁匠偷了!快拿出来!略迟了些儿,就都打死!打死!”那铁匠慌得磕头滴泪道:“爷爷!我们连日辛苦,夜间睡着,乃至天明起来,遂不见了。我等乃一概凡人,怎么拿得动,望爷爷饶命!饶命!”行者无语暗恨道:“还是我们的不是,既然看了式样,就该收在身边,怎么却丢放在此!那宝贝霞彩光生,想是惊动甚么歹人,今夜窃去也。”八戒不信道:
“哥哥说那里话!这般个太平境界,又不是旷野深山,怎得个歹人来!定是铁匠欺心,他见我们的兵器光彩,认得是三件宝贝,连夜走出王府,伙些人来,抬的抬,拉的拉,偷出去了!拿过来打呀!打呀!”众匠只是磕头发誓。正嚷处,只见老王子出来,问及前事,却也面无人色,沉吟半晌,道:“神师兵器,本不同凡,就有百十余人也禁挫不动;况孤在此城,今已五代,不是大胆海口,孤也颇有个贤名在外,这城中军民匠作人等,也颇惧孤之法度,断是不敢欺心,望神师再思可矣。”行者笑道:“不用再思,也不须苦赖铁匠。我问殿下:你这州城四面,可有甚么山林妖怪?”王子道:“神师此问,甚是有理。孤这州城之北,有一座豹头山,山中有一座虎口洞。往往人言洞内有仙,又言有虎狼,又言有妖怪。孤未曾访得端的,不知果是何物。”行者笑道:
“不消讲了,定是那方歹人,知道俱是宝贝,一夜偷将去了。”
叫:“八戒沙僧,你都在此保着师父,护着城池,等老孙寻访去来。”又叫铁匠们不可住了炉火,一一炼造。
好猴王,辞了三藏,唿哨一声,形影不见,早跨到豹头山上。原来那城相去只有七十里,一瞬即到。径上山峰观看,果然有些妖气,真是:龙脉悠长,地形远大。尖峰挺挺插天高,陡涧沉沉流水紧。山前有瑶草铺茵,山后有奇花布锦。乔松老柏,古树修复,出鸦山鹊乱飞鸣,野鹤野猿皆啸唳。悬崖下,麋鹿双双;峭壁前,獾狐对对。一起一伏远来龙,九曲九湾潜地脉。埂头相接玉华州,万古千秋兴胜处。行者正然看时,忽听得山背后有人言语,急回头视之,乃两个狼头怪妖,朗朗的说着话,向西北上走。行者揣道:“这定是巡山的怪物,等老孙跟他去听听,看他说些甚的。”捻着诀,念个咒,摇身一变,变做个蝴蝶儿,展开翅,翩翩翻翻,径自赶上。果然变得有样范:一双粉翅,两道银须。乘风飞去急,映日舞来徐。渡水过墙能疾俏,偷香弄絮甚欢娱。体轻偏爱鲜花味,雅态芳情任卷舒。他飞在那个妖精头直上,飘飘荡荡,听他说话。那妖猛的叫道:“二哥,我大王连日侥幸。前月里得了一个美人儿,在洞内盘桓,十分快乐。
昨夜里又得了三般兵器,果然是无价之宝。明朝开宴庆钉钯会唱,我们都有受用。”这个道:“我们也有些侥幸。拿这二十两银子买猪羊去,如今到了乾方集上,先吃几壶酒儿,把东西开个花帐儿,落他二三两银子,买件绵衣过寒,却不是好?”两个怪说说笑笑的,上大路急走如飞。行者听得要庆钉钯会,心中暗喜;欲要打杀他,争奈不管他事,况手中又无兵器。他即飞向前边,现了本相,在路口上立定。那怪看看走到身边,被他一口法唾喷将去,念一声“唵吽咤唎”,即使个定身法,把两个狼头精定住。眼睁睁,口也难开;直挺挺,双脚站住。又将他扳翻倒,揭衣搜捡,果是有二十两银子,着一条搭包儿打在腰间裙带上,又各挂着一个粉漆牌儿,一个上写着“刁钻古怪”,一个上写着“古怪刁钻”。
好大圣,取了他银子,解了他牌儿,返跨步回至州城。到王府中,见了王子、唐僧并大小官员、匠作人等,具言前事。八戒笑道:“想是老猪的宝贝,霞彩光明,所以买猪羊,治筵席庆贺哩。但如今怎得他来?”行者道:“我兄弟三人俱去,这银子是买办猪羊的,且将这银子赏了匠人,教殿下寻几个猪羊。八戒你变做刁钻古怪,我变做古怪刁钻,沙僧装做个贩猪羊的客人,走进那虎口洞里,得便处,各人拿了兵器,打绝那妖邪,回来却收拾走路。”沙僧笑道:“妙,妙,妙!不宜迟!快走!”老王果依此计,即教管事的买办了七八口猪,四五腔羊。
他三人辞了师父,在城外大显神通。八戒道:“哥哥,我未曾看见那刁钻古怪,怎生变得他模样?”行者道:“那怪被老孙使了定身法定住在那里,直到明日此时方醒。我记得他的模样,你站下,等我教你变。如此如彼,就是他的模样了。”那呆子真个口里念着咒,行者吹口仙气,霎时就变得与那刁钻古怪一般无二,将一个粉牌儿带在腰间。行者即变做古怪刁钻,腰间也带了一个牌儿。沙僧打扮得象个贩猪羊的客人,一起儿赶着猪羊,上大路,径奔山来。不多时,进了山凹里,又遇见一个小妖。他生得嘴脸也恁地凶恶!看那:圆滴溜两只眼,如灯幌亮;
红剌瞔一头毛,似火飘光。糟鼻子,猱猍口,獠牙尖利;查耳朵,砍额头,青脸泡浮。身穿一件浅黄衣,足踏一双莎蒲履。雄雄纠纠若凶神,急急忙忙如恶鬼。那怪左胁下挟着一个彩漆的请书匣儿,迎着行者三人叫道:“古怪刁钻,你两个来了?买了几口猪羊?”行者道:“这赶的不是?”那怪朝沙僧道:“此位是谁?”
行者道:“就是贩猪羊的客人,还少他几两银子,带他来家取的。你往那里去?”那怪道:“我往竹节山去请老大王明早赴会。”行者绰他的口气儿,就问:“共请多少人?”那怪道:“请老大王坐首席,连本山大王共头目等众,约有四十多位。”正说处,八戒道:“去罢,去罢!猪羊都四散走了!”行者道:“你去邀着,等我讨他帖儿看看。”那怪见自家人,即揭开取出,递与行者。行者展开看时,上写着:“明辰敬治肴酌庆钉钯嘉会,屈尊过山一叙,幸勿外,至感!右启祖翁九灵元圣老大人尊前。门下孙黄狮顿首百拜。”行者看毕,仍递与那怪。那怪放在匣内,径往东南上去了。
沙僧问道:“哥哥,帖儿上是甚么话头?”行者道:“乃庆钉钯会的请帖,名字写着门下孙黄狮顿首百拜,请的是祖翁九灵元圣老大人。”沙僧笑道:“黄狮想必是个金毛狮子成精,但不知九灵元圣是个何物。”八戒听言,笑道:“是老猪的货了!”行者道:“怎见得是你的货?”八戒道:“古人云,癞母猪专赶金毛狮子,故知是老猪之货物也。”他三人说说笑笑,赶着猪羊,却就望见虎口洞门。但见那门儿外:周围山绕翠,一脉气连城。峭壁扳青蔓,高崖挂紫荆。鸟声深树匝,花影洞门迎。不亚桃源洞,堪宜避世情。
渐渐近于门口,又见一丛大大小小的杂项妖精,在那花树之下顽耍,忽听得八戒“呵!呵!”赶猪羊到时,都来迎接,便就捉猪的捉猪,捉羊的捉羊,一齐捆倒。早惊动里面妖王,领十数个小妖,出来问道:“你两个来了?买了多少猪羊?”行者道:“买了八口猪,七腔羊,共十五个牲口。猪银该一十六两,羊银该九两,前者领银二十两,仍欠五两。这个就是客人,跟来找银子的。”妖王听说,即唤:“小的们,取五两银子,打发他去。”行者道:“这客人,一则来找银子,二来要看看嘉会。”那妖大怒骂道:“你这个刁钻儿惫懒!你买东西罢了,又与人说甚么会不会!”八戒上前道:“主人公得了宝贝,诚是天下之奇珍,就教他看看怕怎的?”那怪咄的一声道:“你这古怪也可恶!我这宝贝,乃是玉华州城中得来的,倘这客人看了,去那州中传说,说得人知,那王子一时来访求,却如之何?”行者道:“主公,这个客人,乃乾方集后边的人,去州许远,又不是他城中人也,那里去传说?二则他肚里也饥了,我两个也未曾吃饭。家中有现成酒饭,赏他些吃了,打发他去罢。”说不了,有一小妖,取了五两银子,递与行者。行者将银子递与沙僧道:“客人,收了银子,我与你进后面去吃些饭来。”沙僧仗着胆,同八戒、行者进于洞内,到二层厂厅之上,只见正中间桌上,高高的供养着一柄九齿钉钯,真个是光彩映目,东山头靠着一条金箍棒,西山头靠着一条降妖杖。那怪王随后跟着道:“客人,那中间放光亮的就是钉钯。你看便看,只是出去,千万莫与人说。”沙僧点头称谢了。
噫!这正是物见主,必定取,那八戒一生是个鲁夯的人,他见了钉钯,那里与他叙甚么情节,跑上去拿下来,轮在手中,现了本相,丢了解数,望妖精劈脸就筑。这行者、沙僧也奔至两山头各拿器械,现了原身。三兄弟一齐乱打,慌得那怪王急抽身闪过,转入后边,取一柄四明铲,杆长鐏利,赶到天井中,支住他三般兵器,厉声喝道:“你是甚么人,敢弄虚头,骗我宝贝!”行者骂道:“我把你这个贼毛团!你是认我不得!我们乃东土圣僧唐三藏的徒弟。因至玉华州倒换关文,蒙贤王教他三个王子拜我们为师,学习武艺,将我们宝贝作样,打造如式兵器。因放在院中,被你这贼毛团夤夜入城偷来,倒说我弄虚头骗你宝贝!不要走!就把我们这三件兵器,各奉承你几下尝尝!”那妖精就举铲来敌。这一场,从天井中斗出前门。看他三僧攒一怪!好杀:
呼呼棒若风,滚滚钯如雨。降妖杖举满天霞,四明铲伸云生绮。
好似三仙炼大丹,火光彩幌惊神鬼。行者施威甚有能,妖精盗宝多无礼!天蓬八戒显神通,大将沙僧英更美。兄弟合意运机谋,虎口洞中兴斗起。那怪豪强弄巧乖,四个英雄堪厮比。当时杀至日头西,妖邪力软难相抵。他们在豹头山战斗多时,那妖精抵敌不住,向沙僧前喊一声:“看铲!”沙僧让个身法躲过,妖精得空而走,向东南巽宫上,乘风飞去。八戒拽步要赶,行者道:“且让他去,自古道,穷寇勿追。且只来断他归路。”八戒依言。三人径至洞口,把那百十个若大若小的妖精,尽皆打死,原来都是些虎狼彪豹,马鹿山羊。被大圣使个手法,将他那洞里细软物件并打死的杂项兽身与赶来的猪羊,通皆带出。沙僧就取出干柴放起火来,八戒使两个耳朵扇风,把一个巢穴霎时烧得干净,却将带出的诸物,即转州城。
此时城门尚开,人家未睡,老王父子与唐僧俱在暴纱亭盼望。只见他们扑哩扑剌的丢下一院子死兽、猪羊及细软物件,一齐叫道:“师父,我们已得胜回来也!”那殿下喏喏相谢,唐长老满心欢喜,三个小王子跪拜于地,沙僧搀起道:“且莫谢,都近前看看那物件。”王子道:“此物俱是何来?”行者笑道:“那虎狼彪豹,马鹿山羊,都是成精的妖怪。被我们取了兵器,打出门来。那老妖是个金毛狮子,他使一柄四明铲,与我等战到天晚,败阵逃生,往东南上走了。我等不曾赶他,却扫除他归路,打杀这些群妖,搜寻他这些物件,带将来的。”老王听说,又喜又忧。
喜的是得胜而回,忧的是那妖日后报仇。行者道:“殿下放心,我已虑之熟,处之当矣。一定与你扫除尽绝,方才起行,决不至贻害于后。我午间去时,撞见一个青脸红毛的小妖送请书,我看他帖子上写着‘明辰敬治肴酌庆钉钯嘉会,屈尊车从过山一叙。幸勿外,至感!右启祖翁九灵元圣老大人尊前。’名字是门下孙黄狮顿首百拜。才子那妖精败阵,必然向他祖翁处去会话。明辰断然寻我们报仇,当情与你扫荡干净。”老王称谢了,摆上晚斋。师徒们斋毕,各归寝处不题。
却说那妖精果然向东南方奔到竹节山。那山中有一座洞天之处,唤名九曲盘桓洞。洞中的九灵元圣是他的祖翁。当夜足不停风,行至五更时分,到于洞口,敲门而进。小妖见了道:
“大王,昨晚有青脸儿下请书,老爷留他住到今早,欲同他去赴你钉钯会,你怎么又绝早亲来邀请?”妖精道:“不好说,不好说!会成不得了!”正说处,见青脸儿从里边走出道:“大王,你来怎的?老大王爷爷起来就同我去赴会哩。”妖精慌张张的,只是摇手不言。少顷,老妖起来了,唤入。这妖精丢了兵器,倒身下拜,止不住腮边泪落。老妖道:“贤孙,你昨日下柬,今早正欲来赴会,你又亲来,为何发悲烦恼?”妖精叩头道:“小孙前夜对月闲行,只见玉华州城中有光彩冲空。急去看时,乃是王府院中三般兵器放光:一件是九齿渗金钉钯,一件是宝杖,一件是金箍棒。小孙即使神法摄来,立名钉钯嘉会,着小的们买猪羊果品等物,设宴庆会,请祖爷爷赏之,以为一乐。昨差青脸来送柬之后,只见原差买猪羊的刁钻儿等赶着几个猪羊,又带了一个贩卖的客人来找银子。他定要看看会去,是小孙恐他外面传说,不容他看。他又说肚中饥饿,讨些饭吃,因教他后边吃饭。
他走到里边,看见兵器,说是他的。三人就各抢去一件,现出原身:一个是毛脸雷公嘴的和尚,一个是长嘴大耳朵的和尚,一个是晦气色脸的和尚,他都不分好歹,喊一声乱打。是小孙急取四明铲赶出与他相持,问是甚么人敢弄虚头。他道是东土大唐差往西天去的唐僧之徒弟,因过州城,倒换关文,被王子留住,习学武艺,将他这三件兵器作样子打造,放在院内,被我偷来,遂此不忿相持。不知那三个和尚叫做甚名,却真有本事。小孙一人敌他三个不过,所以败走祖爷处。望拔刀相助,拿那和尚报仇,庶见我祖爱孙之意也!”老妖闻言,默想片时,笑道:
“原来是他。我贤孙,你错惹了他也!”妖精道:“祖爷知他是谁?”老妖道:“那长嘴大耳者乃猪八戒,晦气色脸者乃沙和尚,这两个犹可。那毛脸雷公嘴者叫做孙行者,这个人其实神通广大,五百年前曾大闹天宫,十万天兵也不曾拿得住。他专意寻人的,他便就是个搜山揭海、破洞攻城、闯祸的个都头!你怎么惹他?也罢,等我和你去,把那厮连玉华王子都擒来替你出气!”那妖精听说,即叩头而谢。
当时老妖点猱狮、雪狮、狻猊、白泽、伏狸、抟象诸孙,各执锋利器械,黄狮引领,各纵狂风,径至豹头山界。只闻得烟火之气扑鼻,又闻得有哭泣之声。仔细看时,原来是刁钻、古怪二人在那里叫主公哭主公哩。妖精近前喝道:“你是真刁钻儿,假刁钻儿?”二怪跪倒,噙泪叩头道:“我们怎是假的?昨日这早晚领了银子去买猪羊,走至山西边大冲之内,见一个毛脸雷公嘴的和尚,他啐了我们一口,我们就脚软口强,不能言语,不能移步,被他扳倒,把银子搜了去,牌儿解了去,我两个昏昏沉沉,直到此时才醒。及到家,见烟火未息,房舍尽皆烧了,又不见主公并大小头目,故在此伤心痛哭。不知这火是怎生起的!”那妖精闻言,止不住泪如泉涌,双脚齐跌,喊声振天,恨道:“那秃厮!十分作恶!怎么干出这般毒事,把我洞府烧尽,美人烧死,家当老小一空!气杀我也,气杀我也!”老妖叫猱狮扯他过来道:“贤孙,事已至此,徒恼无益。且养全锐气,到州城里拿那和尚去。”那妖精犹不肯住哭,道:“老爷!我那们个山场,非一日治的,今被这秃厮尽毁,我却要此命做甚的!”挣起来,往石崖上撞头磕脑,被雪狮、猱狮等苦劝方止。当时丢了此处,都奔州城。
只听得那风滚滚,雾腾腾,来得甚近,唬得那城外各关厢人等,拖男挟女,顾不得家私,都往州城中走,走入城门,将门闭了。有人报入王府中道:“祸事!祸事!”那王子唐僧等,正在暴纱亭吃早斋,听得人报祸事,却出门来问。众人道:“一群妖精,飞沙走石,喷雾掀风的,来近城了!”老王大惊道:“怎么好?”行者笑道:“都放心!都放心!这是虎口洞妖精,昨日败阵,往东南方去伙了那甚么九灵元圣儿来也。等我同兄弟们出去,吩咐教关了四门,汝等点人夫看守城池。”那王子果传令把四门闭了,点起人夫上城。他父子并唐僧在城楼上点札,旌旗蔽日,炮火连天。行者三人,却半云半雾,出城迎敌。这正是:失却慧兵缘不谨,顿教魔起众邪凶。毕竟不知这场胜败如何,且听下回分解。