This Ashley Wilkes in his faded, patched uniform, his blond hair bleached tow by summer suns, was a different man from the easy-going, drowsy-eyed boy she had loved to desperation before the war. And he was a thousand times more thrilling. He was bronzed and lean now, where he had once been fair and slender, and the long golden mustache drooping about his mouth, cavalry style, was the last touch needed to make him the perfect picture of a soldier.
He stood with military straightness in his old uniform, his pistol in its worn holster, his battered scabbard smartly slapping his high boots, his tarnished spurs dully gleaming—Major Ashley Wilkes, C.S.A. The habit of command sat upon him now, a quiet air of self-reliance and authority, and grim lines were beginning to emerge about his mouth. There was something new and strange about the square set of his shoulders and the cool bright gleam of his eyes. Where he had once been lounging and indolent, he was now as alert as a prowling cat, with the tense alertness of one whose nerves are perpetually drawn as tight as the strings of a violin. In his eyes, there was a fagged, haunted look, and the sunburned skin was tight across the fine bones of his face—her same handsome Ashley, yet so very different.艾希礼.威尔克斯身穿一套褪色和补缀过的军服,一头金发已被夏日和骄阳晒成亚麻色,看来已完全是另一个人,不像战前她拼命爱着的那个随随便便、睡眼朦胧的小伙子,他以前皮肤白皙,身材细长,现在变成褐色和干瘦的了,加上那两片金黄的骑兵式样的髭须,便成了一个十足的大兵。
他用军人的姿势笔挺地站在那儿,穿着一身旧军服,手枪挂在破旧的皮套里,用旧了的剑鞘轻轻敲着长统靴,一对快要锈了的马刺在隐隐发光。这就是南部联盟陆军少校艾希礼.威尔克斯。他现在有了命令人的习惯和一种镇静自恃与尊严的神气,两个嘴角也长出了严厉的皱纹。他那宽厚的肩膀和冷静明亮的目光,如今也显得有点异样了。他以前是散慢的,懒洋洋的,可现在已变得像猫一样机警,仿佛每一根神经都绷得很紧,像小提琴上的琴弦那样。他的眼睛流露出疲倦和困惑的神色,晒黑的脸皮也紧紧地绷在两个颧骨上,给人以严肃的感觉,他还是她所爱的那个漂亮的艾希礼,不过已显得很不一样了。Ashley came home four days before Christmas, with a group of the County boys also on furlough, a sadly diminished group since Gettysburg. Cade Calvert was among them, a thin, gaunt Cade, who coughed continually, two of the Munroe boys, bubbling with the excitement of their first leave since 1861, and Alex and Tony Fontaine, splendidly drunk, boisterous and quarrelsome. The group had two hours to wait between trains and, as it was taxing the diplomacy of the sober members of the party to keep the Fontaines from fighting each other and perfect strangers in the depot, Ashley brought them all home to Aunt Pittypat’s.
“You’d think they’d had enough fighting in Virginia,” said Cade bitterly, as he watched the two bristle like game-cocks over who should be the first to kiss the fluttering and flattered Aunt Pitty. “But no. They’ve been drunk and picking fights ever since we got to Richmond. The provost guard took them up there and if it hadn’t been for Ashley’s slick tongue, they’d have spent Christmas in jail.”艾希礼和一群同时休假的本县小伙子在圣诞节前几天回来了,这一群人经过葛底斯堡战役减少了许多。他们中间有消瘦、憔悴和不停地咳嗽的凯德.卡尔弗特,有从1861年以来头一次获得休假因此满怀兴奋的芒罗家两兄弟,还有常常喝醉、喜欢打闹的争吵的亚历克斯和托尼.方丹,这几个人必须在车站等候两小时换车,而且还得有头脑清醒的人去设法防止方丹家两兄弟之间和他们与陌生人之间相互斗殴,所以艾希礼就把他们一起带到皮蒂姑妈家来了。
一进屋,方丹兄弟就像两只斗鸡似的争着要去吻战战兢兢而又受宠若惊的皮蒂姑妈,凯德看了便尖刻地说:“你一定会以为他们在弗吉尼亚打斗够了吧,不,从我们到里士满第一天气,他们就一直在喝酒和找人打架。宪兵把他们抓了起来,要不是艾希礼说话伶俐,他们准在牢房里过圣诞节了。"“I thought I looked perfectly dashing,” said Ashley, considering his appearance. “Just compare me with those rag-tags over there and you’ll appreciate me more. Mose mended the uniform and I thought he did very well, considering that he’d never had a needle in his hand before the war. About the blue cloth, when it comes to a choice between having holes in your britches or patching them with pieces of a captured Yankee uniform—well, there just isn’t any choice. And as for looking like a ragamuffin, you should thank your stars your husband didn’t come home barefooted. Last week my old boots wore completely out, and I would have come home with sacks tied on my feet if we hadn’t had the good luck to shoot two Yankee scouts. The boots of one of them fitted me perfectly.”
He stretched out his long legs in their scarred high boots for them to admire.“我还以为自己满时髦呢,"艾希礼说,一面看了看身上的衣服。"要是拿我跟那边那些穿破衣烂衫的人比一比,你就会满意些了。这衣服是莫斯给补的,我看补得很好嘛,要知道,他在战前是从没拈过针线的。至于讲到蓝布,那就是这样,你要么穿破裤子,要么就从一件俘获的北方佬制服上弄块碎布来把它补好,没有什么别的选择。至于说像个叫花子,那你还得庆幸自己的命好,你丈夫总算没有光着脚丫跑回来,我那双旧靴子上个星期就彻底坏了,要不是我们运气好,打死了两个北方佬侦察兵,我就会脚上绑着一双草鞋回家来啦。这双靴子倒是很合我的脚呢。”
说到这里,他把两条长腿伸出来,让她们欣赏那双已经遍体伤痕的长统靴。“And the selfish swine won’t give them to either of us,” said Tony. “And they’d fit our small, aristocratic Fontaine feet perfectly. Hell’s afire, I’m ashamed to face Mother in these brogans. Before the war she wouldn’t have let one of our darkies wear them.”
“Don’t worry,” said Alex, eyeing Cade’s boots. “We’ll take them off of him on the train going home. I don’t mind facing Mother but I’m da—I mean I don’t intend for Dimity Munroe to see my toes sticking out.”“可这个自私鬼太小气,不肯给我们俩,"托尼说。"其实对我们方丹家的贵族式小脚是非常合适的。真他妈的恼火,我得厚着脸皮穿这靴子去见母亲了。没打仗的时候,这种东西她是连黑奴也不让穿的。”
“别着急,"亚历克斯说,一面向凯德脚上的靴子瞧了一眼。"咱们回家时,在火车上把他的靴子剥下来。我倒不怕见母亲。可是我--我不想让迪米蒂.芒罗看见我的脚趾头全露在外面。”“I had a full beard to show you girls,” said Ashley, ruefully rubbing his face where half-healed razor nicks still showed. “It was a beautiful beard and if I do say it myself, neither Jeb Stuart nor Nathan Bedford Forrest had a handsomer one. But when we got to Richmond, those two scoundrels,” indicating the Fontaines, “decided that as they were shaving their beards, mine should come off too. They got me down and shaved me, and it’s a wonder my head didn’t come off along with the beard. It was only by the intervention of Evan and Cade that my mustache was saved.”
“Snakes, Mrs. Wilkes! You ought to thank me. You’d never have recognized him and wouldn’t have let him in the door,” said Alex. “We did it to show our appreciation of his talking the provost guard out of putting us in jail. If you say the word, we’ll take the mustache off for you, right now.”“我本来蓄了满满一脸络腮胡要给你们女孩子看的,"艾希礼一面说一面用力摩擦他的脸,脸上剃刀留下的伤痕还没有全好呢。"那是一脸很好看的胡须,我自己觉得连杰布.斯图尔特和内森.福雷斯特的胡子也不过如此呢。可是我们一到里士满,那两个流氓。"他指方丹兄弟,"就说既然他们在刮胡子,我的也得刮掉。他们按着我坐下,便动手给我剃开了,奇怪的是居然没把我的脑袋一起剃掉。当时多亏埃文和凯德阻拦,我的这两片髭须才保全下来。”
“威尔克斯太太!别听他这些鬼话,你还得感谢我呢。要不然你就压根儿也不认识他,也不会让他进门了,”亚历克斯说。"我们这样做是为了表示一点谢意,因为他说服了宪兵没把我们关起来。你要是再这样说,我们就马上把你的髭须也剃掉。”That’s love,” said the Fontaines, nodding gravely at each other.
When Ashley went into the cold to see the boys off to the depot in Aunt Pitty’s carriage, Melanie caught Scarlett’s arm.“Isn’t his uniform dreadful? Won’t my coat be a surprise? Oh, if only I had enough cloth for britches too!”
“这才叫爱呢,"方丹兄弟一本正经地相互看了一眼,点了点头。
当艾希礼出门送几个小伙子坐上皮蒂姑妈的马车到车站去时,媚兰抓住思嘉的胳臂唠叨起来。“你不觉得他那件军服太难看了吗?等我拿出那件上衣来,他准会大吃一惊?要是还有足够的料子给他做条裤子就好了!"
“I’ll make Rhett give me that new black felt of his,” she decided. “And I’ll put a gray ribbon around the brim and sew Ashley’s wreath on it and it will look lovely.”
She paused and thought it might be difficult to get the hat without some explanation. She simply could not tell Rhett she wanted it for Ashley. He would raise his brows in that nasty way he always had when she even mentioned Ashley’s name and, like as not, would refuse to give her the hat. Well, she’d make up some pitiful story about a soldier in the hospital who needed it and Rhett need never know the truth.“我要瑞德把他那顶新的黑毡帽给我,"她打定主意。"我还要给帽边镶一条灰色带子,把艾希礼的花环钉在上面,那就显得很好看了。"
她停了停,觉得要拿到那顶帽子大概非费一番口舌不可。可是她不能告诉瑞德说是替艾希礼要的。她只要一提到艾希礼的名了,他就会厌恶地竖起眉毛,而且很可能会拒绝她。好吧,她就编出一个动人的故事来,说医院里有个伤兵需要帽子,那样瑞德便不会知道真相了。It was the same at supper where they all plied him with questions about the war. The war! Who cared about the war? Scarlett didn’t think Ashley cared very much for that subject either. He talked at length, laughed frequently and dominated the conversation more completely than she had ever seen him do before, but he seemed to say very little. He told them jokes and funny stories about friends, talked gaily about makeshifts, making light of hunger and long marches in the rain, and described in detail how General Lee had looked when he rode by on the retreat from Gettysburg and questioned: “Gentlemen, are you Georgia troops? Well, we can’t get along without you Georgians!”
It seemed to Scarlett that he was talking feverishly to keep them from asking questions he did not want to answer. When she saw his eyes falter and drop before the long, troubled gaze of his father, a faint worry and bewilderment rose in her as to what was hidden in Ashley’s heart. But it soon passed, for there was no room in her mind for anything except a radiant happiness and a driving desire to be alone with him.吃晚饭的时候还是那样,她们用各种各样有关战争的问题来打扰他。战争!谁要关心你们的战争呢?思嘉觉得艾希礼对战争这个话题也没有太大的兴趣。她跟她们长久地闲聊,不停地笑,支配着谈话的整个场面,这种情形以前是很少见的,可是他好像并没有说出多少东西来。他讲了一些笑话和关于朋友们的有趣故事,兴致勃勃地谈论减缓饥饿的办法和雨里行军的情景,并且详细描绘了从葛底斯堡撤退时李将军骑马赶路的尴尬模样,那时李说:“先生们,你们是佐治亚部队吗?那好,我们要是缺了你们住治亚人,就什么都干不下去了!"
他之所以谈得这样起劲,据思嘉看来,是为了避免她们提那些他不高兴回答的问题。有一次,她发现,他在他父亲的长久而困惑的注视下,显得有点犹豫和畏缩起来。这时她不由得开始纳闷,究竟艾希礼心里还隐藏着什么呢?可这很快就过去了,因为这时她除了兴高采烈的迫切希望跟他单独在一起之外,已没有心思去考虑旁的事了。The door closed behind them, leaving Scarlett open mouthed and suddenly desolate. Ashley was no longer hers. He was Melanie’s. And as long as Melanie lived, she could go into rooms with Ashley and close the door—and close out the rest of the world.
Now Ashley was going away, back to Virginia, back to the long marches in the sleet, to hungry bivouacs in the snow, to pain and hardship and to the risk of all the bright beauty of his golden head and proud slender body being blotted out in an instant, like an ant beneath a careless heel. The past week with its shimmering, dreamlike beauty, its crowded hours of happiness, was gone.他们随手把门关上,剩下思嘉一个人目瞪口呆站在那里,一股凉意突然袭上心头,艾希礼不再属于她了。她是媚兰的。只要媚兰还活着,她就能和艾希礼双双走进卧室,把门关上--把整个世界关在门外,什么都不要了。
现在艾希礼要走了,要回到弗吉尼亚去,回到雨雪中的长途行军去,回到雪地上饥饿的野营去,回到艰难困苦中去,在那里,他那金发灿烂的头颅和细长的身躯--整个光辉美丽的生命,都有可能顷刻化为乌有,像一只被粗心大意踩在脚下的蚂蚁一样。过去的一星期,那闪光的、梦一般美妙的、洋溢着幸福的分分秒秒,现在都已经消失了。She thought of all the things she had intended to say to him during this week. But there had been no opportunity to say them, and she knew now that perhaps she would never have the chance to say them.
Such foolish little things, some of them: “Ashley, you will be careful, won’t you?” “Please don’t get your feet wet. You take cold so easily.” “Don’t forget to put a newspaper across your chest under your shirt. It keeps out the wind so well.” But there were other things, more important things she had wanted to say, much more important things she had wanted to hear him say, things she had wanted to read in his eyes, even if he did not speak them.她反复想着自己在这个星期里心里要对他说的全部话。可是一直没有机会说啊!而且她现在觉得或许永远也没有希望了。
其实也尽是些零零星星的傻话:“艾希礼,你得随时小心,知道吗?”“不要打湿了脚,你是容易着凉的。”“别忘了在衬衣底下放一张报纸在胸脯上,这很能挡风呢,"等等,不过还有旁的事情,一些她要说的更重要的事情,一些她很想听他说出来的重要得多的事情,一些即使他不说她也要从他眼睛里看出来的事情。He came down the steps slowly, his spurs clinking, and she could hear the slap-slap of his saber against his high boots. When he came into the parlor, his eyes were somber. He was trying to smile but his face was as white and drawn as a man bleeding from an internal wound. She rose as he entered, thinking with proprietary pride that he was the handsomest soldier she had ever seen. His long holster and belt glistened and his silver spurs and scabbard gleamed, from the industrious polishing Uncle Peter had given them. His new coat did not fit very well, for the tailor had been hurried and some of the seams were awry. The bright new sheen of the gray coat was sadly at variance with the worn and patched butternut trousers and the scarred boots, but if he had been clothed in silver armor he could not have looked more the shining knight to her.
“Ashley,” she begged abruptly, “may I go to the train with you?”他慢慢走下楼来,马刺丁当地响着,她还听见军刀碰撞靴筒的声音。他走进客厅时,眼神是阴郁的。他想要微笑,可是脸色苍白,又绷得很紧,像受了内伤在流血的人,她迎着他站起来,怀着独有的骄傲心情深深觉得他是她生气所见的最漂亮的军人了。她那长长的枪套和平带闪闪发光。雪亮的马刺和剑鞘也晶莹发亮,因为它们都被彼得大叔仔细擦试过了。他那件新上衣因为裁缝赶得太急,所以并不怎么合身,而且有的线缝显然是歪了。这件颇有光泽的灰上衣跟那条补缀过的白胡桃色裤子和那双伤痕累累的皮靴显得极不相称,可是,即使他满身银甲,在思嘉看来也不会比现在更像一名雄赳赳的武士。
“艾希礼,我送你到车站去好吗?”她显得有点唐突地提出这一要求。Instantly she abandoned her plan. If India and Honey who disliked her so much were to be present at the leave taking, she would have no chance for a private word.
“Then I won’t go,” she said. “See, Ashley! I’ve another present for you.” A little shy, now that the time had come to give it to him, she unrolled the package. It was a long yellow sash, made of thick China silk and edged with heavy fringe. Rhett Butler had brought her a yellow shawl from Havana several months before, a shawl gaudily embroidered with birds and flowers in magenta and blue. During this last week, she had patiently picked out all the embroidery and cut up the square of silk and stitched it into a sash length.她立即放弃了原先的计划,如果车站上有英迪亚和霍妮这两个很不喜欢她的人在场,她就没有机会说一句悄悄话了。
“那我就不去了,"她说。"你瞧,艾希礼,我还有件礼物要送给你。"如今临到真要把礼物交给他时,她反而有点不好意思起来。她解开包裹,那是一条长长的黄腰带,用厚实的中国缎子做的,两端镶了稠密的流苏。原来几个月前瑞德.巴特勒从萨凡纳给她带来一条黄围巾,一条用紫红和蓝色绒线刺绣着花鸟的艳丽围巾。这星期她把上面的刺绣全都仔细挑掉,用那块缎子作了一条腰带。She wrapped the bright lengths about his slender waist, above his belt, and tied the ends in a lover’s knot. Melanie might have given him his new coat but this sash was her gift, her own secret guerdon for him to wear into battle, something that would make him remember her every time he looked at it. She stood back and viewed him with pride, thinking that even Jeb Stuart with his flaunting sash and plume could not look so dashing as her cavalier.
“It’s beautiful,” he repeated, fingering the fringe. “But I know you’ve cut up a dress or a shawl to make it. You shouldn’t have done it, Scarlett. Pretty things are too hard to get these days.”思嘉把这条漂亮的腰带围到他的细腰上,把腰带的两端在皮带上方系成一个同心结。媚兰尽可以送给他那件新上衣,可这条腰带是她的礼物,是她亲手做成送他上前线的秘密奖品,它会叫他一看见就想起她来。她退后一步,怀着骄傲的心情端详着他,觉得即使杰布.斯图尔特系上那条有羽毛的饰带,也不如她这位骑士风度翩翩了。
“真漂亮。"他抚摩着腰带上流苏重复说。"但是我知道你是折了自己的一件衣服或披肩做的。思嘉,你不该这样。这年月很难买到这样好的东西呢。”She had started to say: I’d cut up my heart for you to wear if you wanted it,” but she finished, “I’d do anything for you!”
“Would you?” he questioned and some of the somber-ness lifted from his face. “Then, there’s something you can do for me, Scarlett, something that will make my mind easier when I’m away.”“What is it?” she asked joyfully, ready to promise prodigies.
“Scarlett, will you look after Melanie for me?”她本来想说:“我情愿剖开我的心让你穿上,如果你需要的话,”结果却说:“我情愿给你做任何事情!”“唔,艾希礼,我情愿给你做任何事情!”
“真的吗?”他阴郁的面容顿时显得开朗了些。”那么,有件事倒是可以替我做的,思嘉,这件事会使我在外面也放心一些。”“什么事?"思嘉欢喜地问,准备承担什么了不起的任务。
“思嘉,你愿意替我照顾一下媚兰吗?”Her heart sank with bitter disappointment. So this was something beautiful, something spectacular! And then anger flared. This moment was her moment with Ashley, hers alone. And yet, though Melanie was absent, her pale shadow lay between them. How could he bring up her name in their moment of farewell? How could he ask such a thing of her?
He did not notice the disappointment on her face. As of old, his eyes were looking through her and beyond her, at something else, not seeing her at all.她突然痛感失望,心都碎了,原来这就是他对她的最后一个要求,而她正准备答应做一桩十分出色和惊心动魄的事呢?于是,她要发火了。这本是她跟艾希礼在一起的时刻,是她一人所专有的时刻。可是,尽管媚兰不在,她那灰色的影子仍然插在她们中间。他怎么居然在两人话别的当儿提起媚兰来了呢?他怎么会向她提出这样的要求呢?
他没有注意到她脸上的失望神情。像往常那样,他的眼光总是穿透而且远远越过她,似乎在看别的东西,根本没有看见她。She did not even hear his last request, so terrified was she by those ill-omened words, “if I were killed.”
Every day she had read the casualty lists, read them with her heart in her throat, knowing that the world would end if anything should happen to him. But always, always, she had an inner feeling that even if the Confederate Army were entirely wiped out, Ashley would be spared. And now he had spoken the frightful words! Goose bumps came out all over her and fear swamped her, a superstitious fear she could not combat with reason. She was Irish enough to believe in second sight, especially where death premonitions were concerned, and in his wide gray eyes she saw some deep sadness which she could only interpret as that of a man who has felt the cold finger on his shoulder, has heard the wail of the Banshee.她连听也没有听见,这最后一个请求,因为她给"如果"这句不吉利的话吓坏了。
原来她每天都读伤亡名单,提心吊胆地读着,知道如果艾希礼出了什么事就整个世界都完了,但是她内心经常感到,即使南部联盟的军队全部覆灭,艾希礼也会幸免于难的。可现在他竟说出这样可怕的话来!她不禁浑身都起鸡皮疙瘩,一阵恐怖感,一种她无法用理智战胜的近似迷信的惊悸,把她彻底镇住了。她成了地地道道的爱尔兰人,相信人有一种预感,尤其是对于死亡的征兆。而且,她从艾希礼那双灰眼睛里看到深深的哀伤,这只能解释为他已经感觉到死神之手伸向他的肩头,并且听见它在哭叫了。“You say it for me and light some candles, too,” he said, smiling at the frightened urgency in her voice.
But she could not answer, so stricken was she by the pictures her mind was drawing, Ashley lying dead in the snows of Virginia, so far away from her. He went on speaking and there was a quality in his voice, a sadness, a resignation, that increased her fear until every vestige of anger and disappointment was blotted out.“I’m asking you for this reason, Scarlett I cannot tell what will happen to me or what will happen to any of us. But when the end comes, I shall be far away from here, even if I am alive, too far away to look out for Melanie.”
“The—the end?”“你替我祷告并点上些小蜡烛吧,”他听她惊慌的口气觉得好笑,便这样逗她。
可是她已经急得不知说什么好,因为她想象到了那可怕的情景,仿佛艾希礼在弗吉尼亚雪地里离她很远很远的地方躺着。他还在继续说下去,声音里流露着一种悲怆和听天由命的意味,这进一步增加了她的恐惧,直到心中的怒气和失望都消失得无影无踪了。“思嘉。我就是因为这个缘故向你提出要求的,我不知道我会不会发生什么意外,我们在前线的每一个人会不会发生意外。只是一旦末日到来,我离家这么远,即使活着也太远了,无法照顾媚兰。”
“末--日?”“But Ashley, surely you can’t think the Yankees win beat us? All this week you’ve talked about how strong General Lee—”
“All this week I’ve talked lies, like all men talk when they’re on furlough. Why should I frighten Melanie and Aunt Pitty before there’s any need for them to be frightened? Yes, Scarlett, I think the Yankees have us. Gettysburg was the beginning of the end. The people back home don’t know it yet. They can’t realize how things stand with us, but—Scarlett, some of my men are barefooted now and the snow is deep in Virginia. And when I see their poor frozen feet, wrapped in rags and old sacks, and I see the blood prints they leave in the snow, and know that I’ve got a whole pair of boots—well, I feel like I should give mine away and be barefooted too.”“可是艾希礼,你总不会认为北方佬能打垮我们吧?这个星期你一直在谈李将军怎样厉害--”
“像每个回家休假的人一样。我这个星期全是在撒谎,我为什么在这还不十分必要的时候就去吓唬媚兰和皮蒂姑妈呢?是的,思嘉,我认为北方佬已经拿住我们了。葛底斯堡就是末日的开端。后方的人还不知道这一点。他们不明白我们已处于什么样的局面,不过--思嘉,我们那个连队的人还在打赤脚,而弗吉尼亚的雪已下得很厚了。我每回看见他们冻坏的双脚,裹着破布和旧麻袋的双脚,看见他们留在雪里的带血的脚印,同时我知道我自己弄到了一双完整的靴子--唔,我就觉得我应当把靴子送人也打赤脚才好。”“When I see things like that and then look at the Yankees—then I see the end of everything. Why, Scarlett, the Yankees are buying soldiers from Europe by the thousands! Most of the prisoners we’ve taken recently can’t even speak English. They’re Germans and Poles and wild Irishmen who talk Gaelic. But when we lose a man, he can’t be replaced. When our shoes wear out, there are no more shoes. We’re bottled up, Scarlett. And we can’t fight the whole world.”
She thought wildly: Let the whole Confederacy crumble in the dust. Let the world end, but you must not die! I couldn’t live if you were dead!“我每回看见这样的情况,然后再看看北方佬,就觉得一切都完了。怎么,思嘉,北方佬在花大钱从欧训雇来成千的士兵呢!我们最近抓到的俘虏大多数连英语也不会讲。他们都是些德国人、波兰人和讲盖尔语的野蛮的爱尔兰人。可是我们每损失一个人就没有顶替的了。我们的鞋一穿破就没有鞋了。我们被四面包围着,思嘉,我们不能跟整个世界作战呀。"
她胡思乱想起来:就让整个南部联盟被打得粉碎吧,让世界完蛋吧,可是你千万不能死!要是你死了,我也活不成了!“Oh, yes!” she cried, for at that moment, seeing death at his elbow, she would have promised anything. “Ashley, Ashley! I can’t let you go away! I simply can’t be brave about it!”
“You must be brave,” he said, and his voice changed subtly. It was resonant, deeper, and his words fell swiftly as though hurried with some inner urgency. “You must be brave. For how else can I stand it?”“啊,答应!"她大声说,因为当时她觉得艾希礼很快就会死的,任何要求她都得答应。"艾希礼,艾希礼!我不能让你走!我简直没有这个勇气了!”
“你必须鼓起勇气来,"他的声音也稍稍有点显得洪亮而深沉,话也说得干净利落,仿佛有种内心的急迫感在催促的。“你必须勇敢,不然的话,叫我怎么受得了呢?"“Scarlett! Scarlett! You are so fine and strong and good. So beautiful, not just your sweet face, my dear, but all of you, your body and your mind and your soul.”
“Oh, Ashley,” she whispered happily, thrilling at his words and his touch on her face. “Nobody else but you ever—”“思嘉,思嘉!你真漂亮,真坚强,真好!亲爱的,你的美不仅仅在这张可爱的脸上,更在于你的一切,你的身子、你的思想和你的灵魂。”
“啊,艾希礼,”她愉快地低声叫道,因为他的话和他那轻轻一吻使她浑身都激动了。"只有你,再没有别人—-”He stopped speaking and his hands dropped from her face, but his eyes still clung to her eyes. She waited a moment, breathless for him to continue, a-tiptoe to hear him say the magic three words. But they did not come. She searched his face frantically, her lips quivering, for she saw he had finished speaking.
This second blighting of her hopes was more than heart could bear and she cried “Oh!” in a childish whisper and sat down, tears stinging her eyes. Then she heard an ominous sound in the driveway, outside the window, a sound that brought home to her even more sharply the imminence of Ashley’s departure. A pagan hearing the lapping of the waters around Charon’s boat could not have felt more desolate. Uncle Peter, muffled in a quilt, was bringing out the carriage to take Ashley to the train.他没有再说下去,同时把手从她脸上放下来,不过仍在注视着眼睛。她屏住气等了一会,迫切希望他继续说下去,踮着脚尖想听那神奇的三个字。可是他没有说。于是她疯狂地搜索他的脸孔,嘴唇在一个劲颤抖,因为她发现他已经不作声了。
她的希望的再一次落空使她更加难以忍受,她像小孩子似的轻轻"啊!"了一声便颓然坐下,泪水不禁夺眶而出。接着她听见窗外车道上传来不祥的声响,这使她更加紧张地感觉到到与艾希礼的分别已迫在眉睫。她心中一阵凄楚,比一个异教徒听见冥河渡船的击水声还要害怕。原来,彼得大叔已裹着棉被来到门外,他把马车带了过来送艾希礼上车站去。His arms went around her gently, and he bent his head to her face. At the first touch of his lips on hers, her arms were about his neck in a strangling grip. For a fleeting immeasurable instant, he pressed her body close to his. Then she felt a sudden tensing of all his muscles. Swiftly, he dropped the hat to the floor and, reaching up, detached her arms from his neck.
“No, Scarlett, no,” he said in a low voice, holding her crossed wrists in a grip that hurt.“I love you,” she said choking. “I’ve always loved you. I’ve never loved anybody else. I just married Charlie to— to try to hurt you. Oh, Ashley, I love you so much I’d walk every step of the way to Virginia just to be near you! And I’d cook for you and polish your boots and groom your horse— Ashley, say you love me! I’ll live on it for the rest of my life!”
He bent suddenly to retrieve his hat and she had one glimpse of his face. It was the unhappiest face she was ever to see, a face from which all aloofness had fled. Written on it were his love for and joy that she loved him, but battling them both were shame and despair.他伸出胳臂轻轻抱住她,俯下头来,他的嘴唇一触到她的嘴唇,她的两只胳臂就紧紧箍住了他的脖颈。在无法计量的短短的瞬间,他将她的身子紧紧帖在自己身上。接着她感到他浑身的肌肉突然紧张起来,可是他随即一扬头,把帽子甩在地上,同时腾出手来,把她的两只胳臂从他脖子上松开。
“不,不要这样,思嘉,"他低声说,用力抓住她的两只交叉的手腕不放。“我爱你,"她哽咽着说,"我一直在爱你,我从没爱过别人。我跟查理结婚,只是想叫你--叫你难过。啊,艾希礼,我这样爱你,我愿一步步到弗吉尼亚去,好呆在你身边!我要给你做饭,给你擦皮靴,给你喂马--艾希礼,说你爱我!你说吧,有了这句话,我就一辈子靠它活着,死也心甘啊!"
他突然弯下腰去拾那顶帽子,这时她朝他的脸看了一眼,这是她平生所见最愁苦的一张脸,它的表情不再是淡漠的了。脸上流露出对她的爱和由于她的爱而感到的喜悦,可同时也有羞愧和绝望在与之斗争。The door clicked open and a gust of cold wind swept the house, fluttering the curtains. Scarlett shivered as she watched him run down the walk to the carriage, his saber glinting in the feeble winter sunlight, the fringe of his sash dancing jauntily.
门嘎的一声开了,一阵冷风袭进屋来,把窗帘吹得乱摆。思嘉站在冷风中瑟瑟发抖,望着艾希礼在走道上向马车跑去,腰上的军刀在冬天无力的阳光下闪烁不已,腰带的流苏也欢快地飘舞着。