My God, give me mediocrity!
MIRABEAU
我的天主,赐我以平庸吧。
米拉波
He was completely absorbed; he made only a halfhearted response to the keen affection that she showed for him. He remained taciturn and sombre. Never had he appeared so great, so adorable in the eyes of Mathilde. She feared some subtle refinement of his pride which would presently upset the whole position.
他的心思都被占尽了,对玛蒂尔德向他表示的强烈的感情,只是虚应着。他一直不说话,沉着脸。在玛蒂尔德眼中,他从未显得如此伟大,如此值得崇拜。她担心他的自尊太敏感,稍有不周,就会打乱整个局面。
Almost every morning, she saw the abbe Pirard come to the Hotel.Through his agency might not Julien have penetrated to some extent into her father's intentions? Might not the Marquis himself, in a moment of caprice, have written to him? After so great a happiness, how was she to account for Julien's air of severity? She dared not question him.
几乎每天早晨,她都看见彼拉神甫来府上,从他那里,于连不能知道点父亲的旨意吗?侯爵本人难道不会一时冲动给他写信吗?得到了如此巨大的幸福,于连的神色怎么还这么严厉呢?她不敢问他。
Dared not! She, Mathilde! There was, from that moment, in her feeling for Julien, something vague, unaccountable, almost akin to terror. That sere heart felt all the passion that is possible in one brought up amid all that excess of civilisation which Paris admires.
她不敢!她,玛蒂尔德!从这时起,在她对于连的感情中已经有了某种模模糊糊的、不可预料的、近乎恐惧的东西。这颗冷酷的心感觉到了一个在巴黎人赞赏的过度文明中长大的人所能有的全部热情。
Early next morning, Julien was in the abbe Pirard's presbytery. A pair of posthorses arrived in the courtyard drawing a dilapidated chaise,hired at the nearest post.
第二天一大早,于连来到彼拉神甫的住宅。几匹驿马拖着一辆从邻近驿站租来的破烂车子进了院子。
'Such an equipage is no longer in keeping,' the stern abbe told him,with a cantankerous air. 'Here are twenty thousand francs, of which M.de La Mole makes you a present; he expects you to spend them within the year, but to try and make yourself as little ridiculous as possible.' (In so large a sum, bestowed on a young man, the priest saw only an occasion of sin.)
“这样的车子已经不合时宜了,”严厉的神甫对他说,满脸的不乐意。“这是德·拉莫尔先生送您的两万法郎,他要您在一年内花掉,但要尽可能不招人耻笑。”(这么大一笔钱扔给一个年轻人,教士从中只看见一个犯罪的机会。)
'The Marquis adds: "M. Julien de La Vernaye will have received this money from his father, whom there is no use in my identifying more precisely. M. de La Vernaye will doubtless think it proper to make a present to M. Sorel, carpenter at Verrieres, who looked after him in his childhood … " I will undertake this part of the commission,' the abbe went on;'I have at last made M. de La Mole decide to compromise with that abbe de Frilair, who is such a Jesuit. His position is unquestionably too strong for us. The implicit recognition of your noble birth by that man who governs Besancon will be one of the implied conditions of the arrangement.'
“候爵还补充说:‘于连·德·拉韦尔奈先生的这笔钱是他父亲的,他父亲是谁就不必说了。德·拉韦尔奈先生也许认为应该送一份礼物给维里埃的木匠索莱尔先生,小时候他照应过他……’我可以负责去办这件事,”神甫补充说,“我终于让德·拉莫尔先生下了决心去跟那位如此狡狯的耶稣会士德·福利莱神甫取得和解。他的影响比起我们的影响实在是大得多。这个人统治着贝藏松,他对您的高贵出身的默认将是谈判的一个心照不宣的条件。”
Julien was no longer able to control his enthusiasm, he embraced the abbe, he saw himself recognised.
于连激动得不能自持,他拥抱神甫,他已看到自己被承认了。
'Fie!' said M. Pirard, and thrust him away; 'what is the meaning of this worldly vanity? As for Sorel and his sons, I shall offer them, in my name,an annual pension of five hundred francs, which will be paid to each of them separately, so long as I am satisfied with them.'
“呸!”彼拉说,一把将他推开,“这种世俗的虚荣有什么意思?……至于索莱尔和他的儿子们,我将以我的名义向他们提供一笔五百法郎的年金,而且分别付给他们每个人,只要我对他们满意。”
Julien was by this time cold and stiff. He thanked the abbe, but in the vaguest terms and without binding himself to anything. 'Can it indeed be possible,' he asked himself, 'that I am the natural son of some great nobleman, banished among our mountains by the terrible Napoleon?'Every moment this idea seemed to him less improbable … 'My hatred for my father would be a proof … I should no longer be a monster!'
于连重又变得冷漠、高傲。他谢了他,但是措辞十分含糊,没有任何具体的承诺。“难道我真的可能是被可怕的拿破仑放逐到我们山区里的一个大贵人的私生子吗?”他对自己说。他越来越觉得这并非不可能。“我对我父亲的仇恨就是一个证明……我不再是个怪物了!”
A few days after this monologue, the Fifteenth Regiment of Hussars,one of the smartest in the Army, was drawn up in order of battle on the parade ground of Strasbourg. M. le Chevalier de La Vernaye was mounted upon the finest horse in Alsace, which had cost him six thousand francs. He had joined as Lieutenant, without having ever been a Second Lieutenant, save on the musterroll of a Regiment of which he had never even heard.
这番独白后不多天,轻骑兵第十五团,陆军最精锐的部队之一,在斯特拉斯堡的练兵场上演习。德·拉韦尔奈骑士先生骑在全阿尔萨斯最漂亮的马上,这匹马花了他六千法郎。他被任命为中尉,除了在一本他从未听说过的一个团队的花名册上,他并没有当过少尉。
His impassive air, his severe and almost cruel eyes, his pallor, his unalterable coolness won him a reputation from the first day. In a short time, his perfect and entirely measured courtesy, his skill with the pistol and sabre, which he made known without undue affectation, removed all temptation to joke audibly at his expense. After five or six days of hesitation, the general opinion of the Regiment declared itself in his favour. 'This young man has everything,' said the older officers who were inclined to banter, 'except youth.'
他那毫无表情的神态,他那严厉、近乎凶恶的眼睛,他的苍白,他的不可动摇的冷静,从第一天起就树立了他的声誉。很快,他的周到而有分寸的礼貌,他那不必哗众取宠就显露出来的使枪用剑的娴熟技巧,就打消了别人高声跟他开玩笑的念头。经过五、六天的犹豫,团里的舆论表明对他有利。那些爱开玩笑的老军官说:“这年轻人什么都有了,就是没有年轻人的样子。”
From Strasbourg, Julien wrote to M. Chelan, the former cure of Verrieres, who was now reaching the extreme limits of old age:
于连从斯特拉斯堡给谢朗先生写了封信,这位维里埃的前本堂神甫现在已经老得不能再老了:
'You will have learned with a joy, of which I have no doubt, of the events that have led my family to make me rich. Here are five hundred francs which I beg you to distribute without display, and with no mention of my name, among the needy, who are poor now as I was once, and whom you are doubtless assisting as in the past you assisted me.'
您一定已经知道促使我的家人让我富裕起来的那些事惰,我毫不怀疑您会很高兴的。附上五百法郎,我请求您不声不响地,也不要提我的名字,分给那些不幸的人,他们现在像我当年一样贫穷,毫无疑问,您一定也像当年帮助我一样帮助他们。
Julien was intoxicated with ambition and not with vanity; he still applied a great deal of his attention to his outward appearance. His horses,his uniforms, the liveries of his servants were kept up with a nicety which would have done credit to the punctiliousness of a great English nobleman. Though only just a Lieutenant, promoted by favour and after two days' service, he was already calculating that, in order to be Commander in Chief at thirty, at latest, like all the great Generals, he would need at three and twenty to be something more than Lieutenant. He could think of nothing but glory and his son.
使于连陶醉的是野心,不是虚荣;不过他仍把很大一部分注意力放在外表的修饰上。他的马,他的军服,他的随从的号衣都干净整洁,简直能给一丝不苟的英国大贵人增光了。他刚刚靠了别人的保护当了两天中尉,就已经盘算着三十岁当上司令官,至少,像所有那些伟大的将军一样,二十三岁应该不止是个中尉。他现在只想荣耀和儿子。
It was in the midst of the transports of the most frenzied ambition that he was interrupted by a young footman from the Hotel de La Mole, who arrived with a letter.
正当他为这最狂妄的野心激动不已的时候,德·拉莫尔府的一名年轻跟班意外地出现在他面前,他是来送信的。玛蒂尔德写道:
'All is lost,' Mathilde wrote to him; 'hasten here as quickly as possible,sacrifice everything, desert if need be. As soon as you arrive, wait for me in a cab, outside the little gate of the garden, No.— Rue ——. I shall come out to speak to you; perhaps I may be able to let you into the garden. All is lost, and, I fear, beyond hope of repair; count upon me,you will find me devoted and steadfast in adversity. I love you.'
一切都完了,尽快回来,牺牲一切,必要时就开小差。到后立刻坐进一辆出租马车等我,在花园的小门附近,……街……号。我去找您谈,也许把您带进花园。一切都完了,而且我担心无可挽回了;相信我,您看我在逆境中仍是忠诚的,坚定的。我爱您。
In a few minutes, Julien obtained leave from his Colonel, and left Strasbourg at a gallop; but the fearful anxiety which was devouring him did not allow him to continue this method of travel farther than Metz.He flung himself into a post-chaise; and it was with an almost incredible rapidity that he arrived at the appointed place, outside the little gate of the garden of the Hotel de La Mole. The gate was flung open, and in a moment, Mathilde, forgetting all self-respect, threw herself into his arms.Fortunately, it was but five o'clock in the morning and the street was still deserted.
几分钟以后,于连得到上校许可,策马离开斯特拉斯堡;可怕的不安吞噬着他,过了麦茨他就骑不动马了。他跳上一辆驿车,以快得简直不可思议的速度到了指定地点,德·拉莫尔府花园的小门旁。小门开了,玛蒂尔德顾不上任何尊严,一下子投进于连的怀抱。幸好当时只有早上五点钟,街上还没有人。
'All is lost; my father, dreading my tears, went away on Thursday night. Where? No one knows. Here is his letter; read it.' And she got into the cab with Julien.
“一切都完了;我父亲害怕看见我的眼泪,星期四夜里就走了。去哪儿?没有人知道。这是他的信,您看吧。”她和于连一起上了马车。
'I could forgive everything, except the plan of seducing you because you are rich. That, unhappy girl, is the appalling truth. I give you my word of honour that I will never consent to a marriage with that man. I promise him an income of ten thousand livres if he consents to live abroad, beyond the frontiers of France, or better still in America. Read the letter which I have received in reply to a request for information. The shameless scoundrel had himself invited me to write to Madame de Renal. Never will I read a line from you about the man. I have a horror of Paris and of you. I request you to cloak with the greatest secrecy what must shortly happen. Renounce honestly a vile fellow, and you will regain a father.'
我什么都能宽恕,就是不能宽恕那种因为您有钱就诱惑您的计划。看吧,不幸的孩子,这就是可怕的真相。我发誓,我绝不同意您和这个人结婚。如果他愿意走得远远的,离开法国,最好去美洲,我保证给他一万利弗尔的年金。您看看这封信吧,这是我了解他的情况而收到的回信。这个无耻之徒自己逼着我给德·莱纳夫人写信。您若写信涉及这个人,我连一行也不看,我厌恶巴黎,厌恶您。我要求您对将要发生的事严守秘密。断然拒绝一个卑鄙无耻的人吧,您将重新获得一个父亲。
'Where is Madame de Renal's letter?' said Julien coldly.
“德·莱纳夫人的信呢?”于连冷冷地问。
'Here it is. I did not wish to show it to you until you were prepared.'
“在这儿。我本想让你有个准备再给你。”
LETTER
信
'What I owe to the sacred cause of religion and morals obliges me, Sir,to the painful step which I take in addressing you; a rule, which admits of no relaxation, orders me at this moment to do harm to my neighbour,but in order to avoid a greater scandal. The grief which I feel must be overborne by a sense of duty. It is only too true, Sir, the conduct of the person with regard to whom you ask me to tell the whole truth may have seemed inexplicable or indeed honourable. It may have been thought expedient to conceal or to disguise a part of the truth, prudence required this as well as religion. But that conduct, which you desire to know, has been in fact extremely reprehensible, and more so than I can say. Poor and avaricious, it is by the aid of the most consummate hypocrisy, and by the seduction of a weak and unhappy woman, that this man has sought to make a position for himself and to become somebody.It is a part of my painful duty to add that I am obliged to believe that M.J—— has no religious principles. I am bound in conscience to think that one of his avenues to success in a household is to seek to seduce the woman who has most influence there. Cloaked by a show of disinterestedness and by phrases from novels, his great and sole object is to contrive to secure control over the master of the house and over his fortune. He leaves in his wake misery and undying regret,' etc., etc., etc.
我对宗教和道德的神圣事业负有的责任迫使我,先生,采取给您写信这一艰难的举动;一种万无一失的准则命令我此刻伤害一位邻人,为的是避免一桩更大的丑闻。我所感到的痛苦应该由责任感来战胜。的确,先生,您向我打听全部真实情况的这个人,他的行为似乎是无法解释,或竟是正派的。人们可以认为掩盖或者伪装一部分事实是合适的,谨慎和宗教也希望如此。然而您想了解的这个人的行为实在是太应该受到谴责了,远在我所能说的之上。这个人贫穷而贪婪,靠着彻头彻尾的虚伪,通过诱惑一个软弱、不幸的女人,试图谋求社会地位,出人头地。我再补充一句,这也是我的艰难的责任的一部分:我不得不认为于……先生没有任何宗教信仰。凭良心说,我不能不认为,他为了在一个家庭里获得成功,其手段之一就是竭力诱惑这个家里最有影响力的女人。在一种无私的外表和一些小说的词句的掩盖下,他最大的、唯一的目的是控制这个家的主人及其财产。他身后留下的是不幸和无尽的悔恨……
This letter, extremely long and half obliterated by tears, was certainly in the hand of Madame de Renal; it was even written with greater care than usual.
这封信极长,有一半都被泪水浸得模糊了,确是德·莱纳夫人亲笔,甚至比平时写得还要用心。
'I cannot blame M. de La Mole,' said Julien when he had finished reading it; 'he is just and prudent. What father would give his beloved daughter to such a man! Farewell!'
“我不能指责德·拉莫尔先生,”于连读完信说,“他是公正的,慎重的。有哪一个父亲肯把心爱的女儿给这样的一个人呢!再见吧!”
Julien sprang out of the cab, and ran to his postchaise which had drawn up at the end of the street. Mathilde, whom he seemed to have forgotten, followed him for a little way; but the sight of the tradesmen who were coming to the doors of their shops, and to whom she was known, forced her to retire in haste into the garden.
于连跳下马车,跑向等在马路一端的驿车,玛蒂尔德好像被他忘了,追了几步,然而来到店铺门口的商人都认识她,他们的目光逼得她急急退回花园里去。
Julien had set off for Verrieres. On this rapid journey, he was unable to write to Mathilde as he had intended, his hand traced nothing more than an illegible scrawl on the paper.
于连前往维里埃。在匆匆的旅途上,他原想给玛蒂尔德写信,但是不行,他的手写在纸上的字根本无法辨认。
He arrived at Verrieres on a Sunday morning. He entered the shop of the local gunsmith, who congratulated him effusively on his recent access to fortune. It was the talk of the town.
他到达维里埃正是礼拜天的早晨。他走进当地的武器店,店主人就他最近的发迹恭维了一番。这是当地一大新闻。
Julien had some difficulty in making him understand that he required a brace of pistols. The gunsmith, at his request, loaded the pistols.
于连费了好大劲儿,才让他明白他要两把手枪。店主人根据他的要求,把手枪装上子弹。
The three bells sounded; this is a signal well known in French villages,which, after the various peals of the morning, announces that mass is just about to begin.
三连钟响了,这在法国乡村里是尽人皆知的信号,它在早晨各种钟声响过之后,宣布弥撒即将开始。
Julien entered the new church of Verrieres. All the tall windows of the building were screened by crimson curtains. He found himself standing a few yards behind Madame de Renal's bench. He had the impression that she was praying with fervour. The sight of this woman who had loved him so dearly made Julien's arm tremble so violently that he could not at first carry out his design. 'I cannot,' he said to himself; 'I am physically incapable of it.'
于连走进维里埃的新教堂。教堂里所有的高窗子都用深红色的窗帘遮住。于连站在距德·莱纳夫人的凳子几步远的地方。他觉得她正在虔诚地祈祷。看到这个曾经那样地爱自己的女人,于连的胳膊发抖了,不能执行计划。“我不能,”他对自己说,“我真下不了手啊。”
At that moment, the young clerk who was serving mass rang the bell for the Elevation. Madame de Renal bowed her head which for a moment was almost entirely concealed by the folds of her shawl. Her aspect was less familiar to Julien; he fired a shot at her with one pistol and missed her, he fired a second shot; she fell.
这时,辅弥撒的年轻教士摇响了举扬圣体的铃声。德·莱纳夫人低下头,有一瞬几乎完全被披肩的皱褶遮住。于连不大认得出是她了;他朝她开了一枪,没有打中;他又开了一枪,她倒下了。